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Funny / Dr. No

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The Film

  • Very first Bond One-Liner
    Bond: Sergeant, make sure he doesn't get away.
    *Guard looks in shock at the dead mook in the car*
  • After the hearse the Three Blind Mice were driving falls of a cliff and explodes:
    Bystander: How did it happen?
    Bond: I think they were on their way to a funeral.
  • Upon first meeting each other:
    Bond: I promise, I won't steal your seashells.
    Ryder [brandishing a knife]: I promise you won't, either.
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  • After Honey tells about how she murdered her rapist with a black widow spider, there is this exchange:
    Honey: "Did I do wrong?"
    Bond: (looking distinctly nervous) "Well, it wouldn't do to make a habit of it."
  • Bond's surprised reaction to seeing Francisco Goya's Portrait of the Duke of Wellington displayed near Dr. No's dinner table, which status at the time of the filming was stolen.
    • Doubly hilarious was that, in real life, the painting was stolen by a very pissed off bus driver who only wanted television licences to be free. In the Bond universe, it's implied that Dr. No simply made off with the painting (stolen or purchased) without arousing any suspicion whatsoever. Keep in mind that this is a man who has very obvious artificial hands and would wear a Nehru Jacket in the middle of Swinging London.
  • Bond's incredibly petty insult to Dr. No.
    Bond: Tell me, does the toppling of American missiles really compensate for having no hands?
  • Felix's annoyed "get a room" reaction to Bond and Honey making out in the speedboat.
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The Novel

  • "Each object contained enough cyanide to kill a horse. Stop. Suggest you change your grocer. Stop. Good luck."
  • Due to her childlike nature, Bond is actually reluctant to seduce Honey at first and even tries to dissuade her from flirting with him. Her response when they're in Dr. No's lair? She cheerfully hits on him. Relentlessly.

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