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Funny / Down Periscope

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  • The first scene.
    "Fire one!"
    *whacks a golf ball off the submarine deck and onto the nearby putting green*
  • As Dodge is reviewing the crew of rejects and washouts he's been assigned, a pair of MPs approach escorting a cursing, muscle shirt-wearing Stepanek.
    Dodge: Oh good. Our chaplain has arrived.
  • "Great. We just chased down a boatload of beered-up fishermen."
  • Nitro singing along with a Frank Sinatra song while working on the radio, while Sonar watches him in bewilderment. One shock later, and he's switched to repeating a baseball game's commentator.
    Dodge: "That boy's absorbed a lot of voltage."
  • Sonar's faking a whale song to trick the Orlando into thinking they had detected whales, not the Stingray.
    • And, immediately beforehand, Dodge attempting to silently instruct him to do that very thing, mostly by way of mime - to Sonar's considerable confusion. And then Nitro joins in, with no indication that he has any clue what Dodge is actually trying to say...
  • Pascal walking the plank.
  • Lt. Lake's Moment of Awesome: "Balls to the wall, boys!"note 
  • Jackson: Be all that you can be!
    Dodge: That's the Army song, Jackson!
  • "Sounded like... an explosion."
    • Followed by the crew of the Stingray trying desperately to avoid making a noise as they struggle to deal with the sudden influx of methane into the ship's air supply...
      Jackson: (in a choked whisper) "Somebody needs to sew his damn ass shut!"
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    • Once the crisis has passed, among the orders Dodge issues:
      Dodge: Someone find Buckman and launch him out a torpedo tube.
  • Before the start of the ending credits, the crew of the Stingray act in a video of Village People's "In The Navy". While the scenario as a whole is somewhat silly, the various expressions on their faces knocks it out of the park, so to speak.
  • Dodge's initial response to Vice Admiral Winslow:
    I think I'm gonna get my ass kicked, sir.
  • Admiral Winslow's response to Dodge's initial lack of enthusiasm for the wargame and his gloomy prediction that he's going to get his ass kicked:
    Winslow: Damn it to hell, don't go by the book, think like a pirate! I want a man with a tattoo on his dick! Have I got the right man?
    Dodge: [wryly] By some strange coincidence, you do, sir.
    • Just the line by Graham itself revealing the tattoo:
      Graham: Now call me a prude, but I don't think it's a good reflection of Navy policy to hand over a billion dollar piece of equipment to a man who has "Welcome aboard!" tattooed on his penis!
  • In the beginning, when Dodge has been told by his CO that he's been given his own sub to command;
    Dodge: That's not funny.
    Knox: I know, that's why they decoded it twice.
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  • Captain Knox handing cash over to his new first officer after Dodge wins the war game. The XO bet against his own crew simply because Dodge annoyed him with antics such as golfing off the deck of the sub in the first scene.
  • After Lake grounds the boat and loses her confidence, Dodge visits her in her quarters (actually the torpedo room). He tells her of his own missteps in the past and encourages her not to give up. As he opens the hatch to leave, the moment is saved from being wholesomely heartwarming by the entire crew bunched up at the hatchway, eavesdropping. Stepanek, as usual, handles this with tact.
    Stepanek: Polishin' the ol' torpedoes, Captain?
  • The kitchen exchanges between Marty Pascal and Buckman.
    Pascal: Jesus, Buckman! This can's been on the Stingray since Korea! It expired in 1966!
    Buckman: [Tries a bit] What's the matter, sir? It still tastes like creamed corn.
    Pascal: Except, it's deviled ham!
    Buckman: Well, that would be a problem...

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