Funny / Californication

"Motherfuckeeeer!"

• Hank puts Becca's headphones on as he gladly exclaims "oh Eagles!" but the music is a heavy guitar riff, then he takes a second look and mutters "oh, Eagles of Death Metal"
• The Apartment. A little blue kimono. Enough said.
• Season 4. Episode 4. That is all.
  • THAT MONKEY WAS A DEVIANT AND A COCKBLOCKER!
  • SILENCE AGENT!
  • "I want to shoot you in the dick with a paintball gun."
  • "Anyone else want to get high?" Cue Hank, Charlie, Stu and the monkey raising their hands.
    • And later on:
    Abby: How high are you right now?
    Hank: Significantly.
• Season 5, episode 7:

  Bates: Why must two men be confined to handshakes and hugs? What happens when that's not enough?

  Hank: You come out of the closet!

  Bates: For such a fine man you're so damn limited.

• When Hank's alleged son is born and happens to be black, Hank celebrates it like a football player after scoring a goal. The moustached man "Dalí" is also content.
  Wooohooya, the baby is black Karen! Baby is black! Goddamit I knew I didn't knock her up!
• "Charlie, are you inside that woman?"
• Almost every appearance of Eddie Nero. Special mention to his "I put a man in my mouth" Method Acting speech.
  • Particularly amusing is his insistance on greeting Hank by coming out of nowhere and tackling him to the ground. After he does this in front of Atticus in season 6 the following conversation takes place:
  Atticus: Can I have a go at that? I quite like the idea of tackling Hank.
  Eddie: No man, that's MY thing!
• The real estate agent's "role-playing fantasies" with Charlie.
• When Charlie is fired, he barges in ready to go down with a fight, only to be presented with devastating evidence of his jerking around. His "one time" defense doesn't fly and finally leaves from where he came. Runkle is ankling, huuuuuuh!!!
• Charlie jizzing in his pants during a lap dance; he first tries to justify it "You were grinding!" and then tries to pass it off as a compliment.
• Charlie cums in his pants once again, in the middle of a cardiac arrest, in an office. Witnessed by a dozen people.

---