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Funny / American Vandal

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Season One

Episode 1: Hard Facts: Vandalism and Vulgarity
  • "I'll never understand what's so amusing about penises."
  • Dylan can't take a dump at Lucas Wiley's house because he doesn't like the toilet seats. So he goes to an antique store down the street instead.
  • The media club teacher accidentally calls Dylan "Dixwell" during the school hearing.
  • The main reason the school board suspects Dylan? He's a serial dick drawer.
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  • Peter wonders if Dylan can truly be too dumb to commit the crime, while we see Dylan delivering food to someone.
    Customer: Did you eat the fries?
    Peter (voiceover): Personally, I think he is.
  • The fact that Alex' entire testimony is thrown into question because he lied about getting a hand job from Sarah Pearson.

Episode 2: A Limp Alibi

  • Peter and Sam recruit Gabi to help their investigation because she knows the seniors better—and because she has her drivers license.
    • Then we see her and Sam do a little dance while she's gassing up the car.
  • Everyone in history has always known that if you text someone "hey" with two "y"s, it means you want to fuck. Followed by Gabi, Peter, and Sam discussing this and finding conclusive evidence in the form of memes.
  • The recap of Alex’ supposed hand job includes a cgi model replica of the event.
  • Gabi shows the boys a pole in a camp cabin covered in initials.
    Gabi: These initials are pretty much a record of summer hook ups.
    Sam: Oh, so I bet I'm all over it!
    Gabi: No you're not.
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  • Alex's Facebook comment on the page of a classmate who died.
    Alex: You were my bright light, bros forever
    Mike Dalton: Dude shut up you didn't even know him.

Episode 3: Nailed

  • Peter accusing Dylan about forgetting the license plate prank gets completely derailed when Lucas tries to explain to Dylan the plot of Inception.
  • Peter attempts to explain his arguments for Dylan's evidence to Shapiro, but of course it all gets derailed when he's trying to explain the lack of ball hairs.
  • Mr. Krazinski's attempts at looking cool to the kids, all of which come off as either obtrusive or Totally Radical. His attempt to sound like a Game of Thrones fan sounds more like "you know, that guy in the thing".
  • "I just smoked a victory blunt for no reason and now I’m, like, upsettingly high."

Episode 4: Growing Suspicion

  • When Dylan and his parents are consulting their lawyer over the phone and Peter chimes in, he explains his presence thusly:
    Peter: I'm making a documentary about Dylan's case. Kind of like Serial?
    Lawyer: That's a terrible idea.
  • "This is gonna take way more than just ball hairs."
  • Dylan initially dismisses the case against Ming, but then re-considers, noting:
    Dylan: He's a foreign exchange student. Who the fuck knows what he's thinking? The Chinese are secretive people.
    *hard cut to Ming*
    Ming: I'm from Toronto.
  • Then, later.
    Ming: Dylan's always been nice to me. But he's still very racist.
  • After Peter notes that Ming is the only suspect with no alibi, Sam easily sinks the theory.
    Sam: Dude, it's Ming.
  • Peter has Sam do an unbiased segment displaying the case against himself in the interest of fairness. The entire thing is one long joke about Peter being obsessed with dicks and calling all of his movies terrible.
  • "You're supposed to be getting me off! No homo."

Episode 5: Premature Theories

  • After the documentary gets popular and people start sending in their own theories, Dylan starts to believe one about the dicks all being photoshopped. Peter has to remind him that they've both seen the dicks in real life.
  • Peter makes a pretty solid case for dismissing the fan theory that Mr. Baxter is the vandal.
    Peter: Could he have drawn twenty-seven dicks in eight-point-one minutes? No. He's too fat.
  • One theory suggests that Sarah drew the dicks, and the lack of ball hairs is because her ex Sam Winters shaves his balls. Peter has to ask him whether it's true, and Sam responds by simply dropping trow.
    Peter: As a side note, I think I now know what's clogging the shower drains in the locker room.
  • While the documentary itself is shown to be getting thousands of subscribers, the Wayback Boys only get a bump up to 700. They still think this means they're the next YouTube sensations.
  • Peter pauses his recap of Nana's Party's events to spitefully congratulate Pat Micklewaite, a major school loser, for getting invited to Nana's party over him and Sam.
  • One of the clips from early in the party records Ming drinking his first-ever beer. Later in the party, another clip shows Ming drinking his ninth beer. Wouldn't be as funny if it were any other student, but in Sam's words:
    Sam: Dude, it's Ming.
  • Peter and Sam pause their tracking of the spray can's timeline to see if Alex's brag about drinking eleven beers at the party is true. It's not.

Episode 6: Gag Order

  • Sam explaining how, when drawing a dick, one always starts with either the balls or the bottom of the shaft. As fact.
  • Peter and Sam check back in on Mr. Kraz for the first time since the documentary went viral. He's been fired.
  • After confirming that Alex never got a hand job from Sarah, the 3D renedering from episode 2 returns, but changes to just show Alex sitting alone on the dock with his dick out.

Episode 7: Climax

  • Duncan says Rafferty really respects moms—hot moms, not moms with weird necks. Normal necks.
  • Peter points out that over the course of filming, he's cut out several side-studies that Sam has done because they're entirely irrelevant. Cut to Sam making a chart to determine who at school is circumcised.
  • Sam's list of hot moms includes Peter's mom. Peter asks to see the pointer stick he's using to point out the moms, then hits him with it.

Episode 8: Clean Up

  • After Dylan gets reinstated at Hanover, a freshman girl asks him to draw a dick in her yearbook.
  • In the clip of Mr. Rafferty winning the Teacher of the Year Award, one can clearly see Mr. Kraz getting up and walking off in a huff, clearly having expected to win it himself.

Season Two

Episode 1: The Brownout

  • One character lamenting that she chose to wore tights the day of the Brownout.

Episode 2: #2

Episode 3: Leaving a Mark

Episode 4: Shit Talk

Episode 5: Wiped Clean

Episode 6: All Backed Up

Episode 7: Sh*t Storm

Episode 8: The Dump


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