The Morning Show 9
Co-anchor of Hanover High's Morning Show, and the writer and director of true-crime documentary American Vandal.
- Amateur Sleuth: His reasoning and detective work allows
- Attention Whore: The opinion of Mackenzie, as well as several others, who claim that he is only using the documentary as a way to gain notoriety in the school.
- On the other hand, all these people, especially Mackenzie had their sketchy behaviour revealed by the documentary, and Sara's slut-shaming was probably the only case where the consequences were undeserved.
- Big Ol' Eyebrows: Sports a pretty thick pair.
- Character Development: Initially, he's pretty much only concerned with finding the truth and has no qualms about exposing a person's deepest secrets to further his case, but his experience documenting the case slowly changes him, and he ultimately becomes more empathetic by the end.
- This is especially true with Sara Pearson; he leaves her "The Reason You Suck" Speech to him in the documentary, and admits in his voiceover that she was right to give it to him. It's his way of owning his callous behaviour.
- The Comically Serious: Much of the show's humor comes from how seriously he takes his investigation into who spray-painted a bunch of dicks.
- Dark Secret: He apparently masterbates to American Apparel models. Huh.
- Determinator: He will not stop until he uncovers the truth.
- Hidden Depths: sort of. Peter and Sam actually show some very good investigative reporting and deductive skills at times during the show, especially in the latter half.
- Hollywood Nerd: Short, skinny, bespectacled, good with tech, unpopular. Subverted later on in the series as his documentary series gains him a fair amount of popularity.
- Intrepid Reporter: He's determined to uncover the truth of who spray-painted the dicks on the teachers' cars.
- Kid Detective: Along with Sam.
- Nerd Glasses: Wears these.
Peter's closest friend and co-producer of American Vandal.
- Childhood Friend Romance: A one-sided variant with Gabi Granger.
- Crazy Jealous Guy: Peter portrays him as one of these in building a case against him. Sam is not amused.
- Deadpan Snarker: Provides a lot of comic foil to Peter's seriousness.
- Everyone Can See It: Numerous fans of American Vandal comment on how he and Gabi should get together. Even Mr. Rafferty gets in on it.
- Hidden Depths: sort of. Peter and Sam actually show some very good investigative reporting and deductive skills at times during the show, especially in the latter half.
- Kid Detective: With Peter.
- Victorious Childhood Friend: Somewhat. Gabi forgives him for his insensitive comments, but it's made clear from her body language that she still regards him as just a friend. Poor Sam.
- What the Hell, Hero?: Gives Peter one of these after Peter exposes his crush on Gabi.
- Your Mom: Makes a number of jokes about Peter's mom.
The primary suspect in the case, Dylan has already been expelled for drawing twenty-seven dicks on twenty-seven staff members' cars at the outset of the series. Peter creates American Vandal in a quest to prove his innocence.
- Actually Pretty Funny: He maintains he didn't spray-paint the dicks, but he won't deny that it was funny.
- Bad Liar: How his mother claims she knows he's innocent. He lies to her all the time, but she can always tell.
- Book Dumb: He freely admits he's not book-smart. Or street-smart.
- ...But He Sounds Handsome: Subverted. He most-likely didn't spray-paint the dicks, but the way he keeps saying how funny it was sure makes him look guilty.
- Consummate Liar: Dylan lies and manipulates all the time, which only makes him look even more guilty.
- Convicted by Public Opinion: Dylan gets expelled mostly because everyone assumes he did it.
- Class Clown: But not a particularly funny one.
- Dumbass Has a Point: By his own admission; he argues that he's too stupid to have possibly deleted footage from the server. Sam and Peter, who work with him, admit that this is actually very good evidence of his innocence.
- Jerkass: Guilty or not, he isn't the most pleasant guy. Especially to Ms. Shapiro.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Dylan's not a bad person deep down. He's just kinda dumb.
- Love Martyr: He just keeps going back to Mackenzie, no matter how many times she dumps and manipulates him. It's implied he would have gone back to her even after finding out that she cheated on him and withheld evidence that could exonerate him, if she hadn't broken it off herself.
- The Prankster: He and the Wayback Boys make terrible prank videos for YouTube.
- Sad Clown: He's a goofy, laid-back guy, but by the end of the series he's hiding a lot of sadness.
- The Slacker: Hard work isn't really Dylan's thing.
- The Stoner: Smokes a lot of weed.
- Then Let Me Be Evil: He didn't spray-paint the dicks on the faculty's cars, but in the final episode he does spray-paint a dick on Ms. Shapiro's driveway after she refuses to apologize to him. His rationale is that he might as well be what everyone thinks he is.
Student Body President and a member of the Morning Show, as well as numerous other school clubs and teams. Known for her good grades and political activism. Was receiving a CPR certification at the time of the incident.
- The Ace: Smart, athletic, kind, pretty, part of a ton of school clubs, and one of the most popular girls in school. She even makes the football team, though she quits before the season begins.
- Ambiguously Evil: May have been responsible for the dicks, with her boyfriend Van Delorey.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: If she is, in fact, responsible for the dicks.
- CPR: Clean, Pretty, Reliable: Was receiving a CPR certification at the time of the incident. Except she wasn't. She doesn't even know CPR.
- though, as has been pointed out elsewhere, you can have CPR certification and freeze, panic, or be too unsure in your skill to come forward in an emergency, especially if you're, say, at a party and had too much to drink. Having a certificate in something doesn't mean you have the skill.
- Expy: Shares a lot of traits with Tracy Flick, including possibly being more sinister than she seems.
- Granola Girl: A vegan, and once attempted to force the school to change its mascot from humpback whales, on the grounds that humpbacks are endangered.
- Jerkass Has a Point: Coach Rafferty might consider her a jerk for contributing to the football team's loss (of one game), but Christa is absolutely correct in her main point: religious freedom is more important than high school football.
- Lovable Alpha Bitch: One of the most popular girls in school, but not unpleasant at all.
- Nice Girl: Generally kind to all and liked by all in return. Even if she was responsible for the dicks, she still led the campaign to have Dylan exonerated, rather than let him take the rap for her actions.
- Student Council President: Part of the reason that the case against her is quickly discounted.
- Soapbox Sadie: Constantly interrupts school to make political statements. When American Vandal goes viral, she leads the campaign to have Dylan returned to school.
- The Strategist: She's a member of the Strategy Club, though no one has any idea what that is.
- Villain with Good Publicity: If she was responsible for the dicks, then she's definitely this.
Co-anchor on the Morning Show. Was shopping with her mom at the time of the incident.
The only member of the Morning Show to have no alibi for the day of the incident.
- 100% Adoration Rating: Everyone loves Ming. The only person who ever seriously questions his innocence is Dylan, and it's on purely racist grounds.
- Asian and Nerdy: Textbook case, though he's actually extremely popular.
- Beneath Suspicion: The case against him is easily dismissed with "Dude, it's Ming." He's just too lovable to be the culprit.
- Canada, Eh?: Despite Dylan believing him to be Chinese, he's actually from Toronto. Explains why he's so nice.
- Ensemble Dark Horse: In-Universe. Comments on American Vandal have a lot of love for Ming after his short appearance in Episode Four.
- Foreign Exchange Student: From Canada.
- Hard-Drinking Party Guy: He goes absolutely nuts at both Nana's party and the post-graduation party.
- Inscrutable Oriental: Dylan tries to bring this up to cast suspicion on him. Not only is it racist, it's not even accurate, as Ming's from Canada.
- Nice Guy: His defining characteristic.
- Ambiguously Gay: Sam notes how unusual it is for them both to have been hospitalized with Mono, aka "the kissing disease" as the same time.
- Bit Character: Neither of them receive much characterization.
- Small Role, Big Impact: Randall never speaks a line, but it's revealed in Episode Four that he has been the cameraman whenever Peter and Sam are both on screen.
- Bit Character: The only one of the Morning Show 9 to receive no characterization at all.
Other Hanover High School Students
A childhood friend of Sam Ecklund's, she gets co-producer credit on American Vandal because she knows a lot of the seniors, and because she has a car.
- Childhood Friend Romance: With Sam, at the end.
- Dude, Not Funny!: She does not appreciate Sam making light of Brandon cheating on her.
- Nice Girl: Comes off as an extremely likable person.
- What Does She See in Him?: Both in- and out-universe. Sam is not the only person to wonder this about Gabi and Brandon even before it's revealed he cheated on her with Sara Pearson. Many of the viewers did, too.
Dylan's on-again, off-again girlfriend, who claims he was at her house at the time of the incident.
- All Take and No Give: Her relationship with Dylan, in a nutshell.
- Attention Whore: She craves attention from Dylan, and stages break-ups with him so that he'll do elaborate things to win her back.
- Berserk Button: She's known to go nuts whenever her parents are having problems.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: She stood by and let her boyfriend of four years be expelled from school, have his future plans (including college applications) ruined and be left open to felony criminal charges and possible jail time, as well as incurring possibly ruinous debt for his low-income family, rather than admit to cheating on him. Or, you know, edit the footage to only show the part that proved Dylan's alibi and not her cheating.
- Cold Sniper: Her preferred style of gaming.
- Gamer Chick: Has a popular Twitch stream.
- Idiot Ball: Mackenzie has time-stamped video evidence of Dylan's alibi, but doesn't use it because it reveals that she's cheating on him. It never occurs to her to edit the footage so it starts when she's walking to the bedroom door? All she needs is twenty seconds of time-stamped footage that clearly identifies her, Dylan, and her bedroom as the location. If she didn't already have the skills to edit the footage (unlikely), she could have just asked the Twitch helpdesk, or looked up instruction videos on YouTube, and where to find free software she could use to do editing. If someone asks her why she's topless from the back? She's already telling Dylan she was changing - just say that she spilled her between-rounds drink on her top, and she intended to change out of view of the camera.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Gives one to Peter in Episode Seven. Her righteous indignation is considerably undermined by the fact that her speech is triggered by her realising that she's going to have to come clean about cheating on Dylan to prove her own innocence, and that everything he's suffered is because she was too cowardly to come forward with the proof rather than admit to it.
- Red Herring: The biggest one in the series. Episode Seven makes a solid case that she and Dylan worked together to spray-paint the dicks as a way to get back at Mr. Rafferty. But her Twitch stream exonerates her. And Dylan.
- Yoko Ohno: How the Wayback Boys perceive her.
- Your Cheating Heart: She's having an online affair with someone who watches her Twitch stream.
Lucas portrayed by: Lou Wilson
Brianna portrayed by: Jessica Juarez
Comprised of Spencer Diaz, Lucas Wiley, and Brianna "Ganj" Gagne, the Wayback Boys are Dylan Maxwell's closest friends, so named because they go "way back". They have an unpopular YouTube channel where they make unfunny prank videos.
- Book Dumb: Like Dylan himself, none of them are very bright.
- Cloud Cuckoo Lander: All of them, but especially Spencer.
- The Lad-ette: Ganj, to the point that it's hard to tell she is a girl.
- Non-Indicative Name: The Wayback Boys include a girl.
- The Prankster: Their M.O. Unfortunately, they're not very good at it.
- The Smurfette Principle: Ganj is the only girl in the group.
- The Stoner: All of them.
The only witness to the crime, who insists that he saw Dylan spray-painting the dicks.
- Character Tics: He says "One hundred percent" when he is lying through his teeth.
- The Conspiracy: May have been part of one with Ms. Shapiro to frame Dylan.
- Consummate Liar: He claimed to be best friends with a dead student (he wasn't). He claimed he drank eleven beers at Nana's party (he drank one). He claimed Sarah Pearson gave him a handjob (she didn't). And he claimed he saw Dylan Maxwell spray-painting the dicks on the faculty cars (he didn't, but this may have been a genuine mistake and later misinterpretation, instead of an outright lie).
- Glory Hound: It's implied that he may have lied about seeing Dylan so he could take the credit for saving lunch.
- Have I Mentioned I Am Sexually Active Today?: He totally got a handjob from Sarah Pearson. He didn't.
- Karma Houdini: Despite Dylan constantly saying that he's going to kick Alex's ass the next time he sees him, the worst he actually does is shake up Alex's soda and drop his pizza on the ground. It's intentional, to show Dylan's Character Development and how he's actively trying to make a better name for himself.
- The Stool Pigeon: Tells the school board that he saw Dylan Maxwell spray-painting the dicks.
One of the hottest girls in school. Whether or not she gave Alex Trimboli a handjob somehow becomes crucial to proving Dylan's innocence.
- All Love Is Unrequited: After being rejected by Van Delorey for Christa, she consoles herself with Gabi's boyfriend Brandon.
- Alpha Bitch: Subverted. She comes off this way at first, but proves herself a decent person.
- Big Damn Heroes: Saves Ming with CPR at the graduation party.
- CPR: Clean, Pretty, Reliable: Uses an egregious version of this to save Ming at the graduation party. It doesn't even look like she's touching him.
- Hello, Nurse!: Mr. Kraz describes her as "distracting."
- Hidden Depths: She knows CPR.
- Give Geeks a Chance: How else do you explain her hooking up with Pat Micklewaite?
- Really Gets Around: Has hooked up with Scott Winter, Pat Micklewaite, Brandon Galloway, and numerous others. But not Alex Trimboli.
- Slut-Shaming: Implied to have been a victim of this after American Vandal reveals her hookup list.
- What the Hell, Hero?: Gives a well-deserved one to Peter in the final episode.
Captain of the football team, and Gabi's boyfriend.
An inexplicably popular student, who Peter views as a rival.
- Gonk: How Peter perceives him.
- Kavorka Man: He's not conventionally attractive by any means, but somehow he's hooked up with two beautiful girls.
- Sitcom Archnemesis: To Peter, who is consistently baffled as to how Pat is more popular than he is.
- The Strategist: He's the only other member of the Strategy Club with Christa. Not that anyone knows what the Strategy Club is.
Hanover High School Faculty
Hanover High's vice principal.
- Good Cop/Bad Cop: If Mr. Kraz can be trusted, then he plays the Bad Cop to Ms. Shapiro's Good Cop when he cancels off-campus lunch.
- Obstructive Bureaucrat: Tries to hamper Peter's investigation, when Peter gets too close to the faculty complaint records.
- Turn in Your Badge: A non-police version of this, when he bans Peter from filming American Vandal on school property.
Dylan Maxwell's Spanish teacher, and the presumed target of the vandalism.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Dylan and Mr. Kraz certainly think so, but neither are entirely trustworthy.
- The Chessmaster: According to Mr. Kraz, who compares her to Lord Varys from Game of Thrones.
- The Conspiracy: May have been part of one with Alex Trimboli to frame Dylan. It's never made clear.
- Cool Teacher: Most students view her as this. It's only Dylan and his friends who see her as an:
- Evil Teacher: To Dylan, and possibly to other students she dislikes.
- Framing the Guilty Party: Possibly what she believes she is doing by framing Dylan, as well as strong-arming a student into claiming another student cheated on a test.
- Good Cop/Bad Cop: According to Mr. Kraz, she plays the Good Cop to Vice Principal Keene's Bad Cop in the plot to expose the culprit behind the vandalism. She came up with the plan to cancel off-campus lunch, then he carried it out, and she promised to intercede with him if a student came forward with the vandal's identity. That is, if anything Kraz says can be trusted.
- Jerkass Has a Point: for a debatable value of 'jerkass'. Dylan's own (and other) social media footage proves that his bad reputation, particularly in Ms Shapiro's class, was thoroughly earned. Peter points out in the first episode that Dylan's past behaviour, which has been properly documented, is one of the factors in the strong case against him. Dylan admits to acting out in her class "like, 4 times a week, maybe?"
- Never My Fault: After Dylan's innocence is proven and he is reinstated at school, she admits she was wrong about him spraying the cars, but flatly refuses to accept responsibility for her mistake, instead claiming that Dylan's own actions made him look guilty.
- Stern Teacher: The most generous interpretation of her behavior.
- Villain with Good Publicity: It's a matter of debate how "villainous" she is, but she does attempt to frame Dylan for slashing her tire. Nonetheless, she is well-loved by most of the school.
Coach of the football team at Hanover High, and 2016 Teacher of the Year.
- Ambiguously Evil: There's something off about Mr. Rafferty. Kraz claims "he's roofied people," he has a suspicious complaint on file for "inappropriate conduct with a student," and he definitely did something to make someone angry enough to trash his office. He also possibly put Christa in a position where she would be injured as revenge for her ruining his pep rally. Then there's the matter of what he whispered to her when she was on the ground. It's never really answered.
- Cool Teacher: How most students see him.
- Evil Teacher: Possibly.
- Hot Teacher: How some students see him.
- Silver Fox: His age is apparently not a detriment.
- Hyper-Awareness: He immediately catches on to Peter's secret camera.
- Karma Houdini: the footage of Christa's kicker tryout proves a case of teacher bullying at least (there was no reason whatsoever for another player to tackle her-kicker's don't get tackled on the field-and she clearly wasn't warned it was coming, so she didn't brace herself. Not to mention that whatever he said to her while she was recovering from that was bad enough that she made a formal complaint), and not only does the complaint (of 'inappropriate conduct with a student ') get swept under the rug, but he wins Teacher of the Year.
- Never My Fault: when you look back, it's clear he blames Christa and her Rosh Hashana protest for the football team losing a big game. Her protest disrupted a pep rally, which led to one of the football team's key players being made ineligible to play that game for joining her walkout. First off, as Coach he should have made sure that every player on the team knew the consequences for walking out of school (it's not like this is the first time Christa's done something like this), secondly also as Coach, he should be able to adjust his strategy to cover one missing player.
- Really Gets Around: Described as a "serial-dater", usually with moms.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: Comes off this way much of the time. He's extremely forthcoming and helpful in interviews, he chooses not to get Peter in trouble for violating Keene's ban, and he seeks out Peter and Sam in order to answer their questions when it seems as though they suspect him of something. He still seems like he's hiding something.
- Riddle for the Ages: What did he say to Christa Carlyle after she got knocked on her back? If she did plan the dick drawings in revenge for him getting away with, even rewarded, for his behavior towards her, asPeter and Sam point out it must have been something really bad for her to be pushed to such extremes.
- Sadistic Teacher: He set Christa up for a tackle drill unnecessarily, likely just to get back at her for her Rosh Hashana stunt.
- Teacher/Parent Romance: Has a thing for moms. Including Mackenzie's mother.
- Teacher/Student Romance: Hinted at, but never confirmed.
- Villain with Good Publicity: Maybe. It's implied that something was covered up by the school, but we never know what.
History teacher at Hanover High. Likes to be called "Kraz."
- Apathetic Teacher: One who cares far more about seeming cool than teaching history.
- Cool Teacher: Tries so hard to be this, but his attempts to be cool just end up making him really bad at his job.
- Fired Teacher: But unlike most examples in fiction, he completely deserves it, and there's no student campaign to get him back.
- Gossipy Hens: A Rare Male Example. He spouts all sorts of rumors about his fellow staff members.
- Green-Eyed Monster: He's extremely jealous of Ms. Shapiro getting more insurance money to pay for her damaged car than him, and he can be seen storming off in a huff when Mr. Rafferty wins Teacher of the Year.
- Reality Ensues: Turns out that a teacher who trash talks his colleagues and comments on how hot his female students are in an attempt to seem cool won't be employed for very long.
- Too Dumb to Live: Or rather, too dumb to work. Did he really think he could get away with saying what he did on video?
- Totally Radical: His way of trying to come off as cool reeks of this.
- Unreliable Narrator: It's unclear if anything he says about the other teachers can be taken literally.
Physics teacher at Hanover High.
- Stern Teacher: Has a reputation for this, as he confiscates students' electronics for the entire semester.
- Red Herring: It's hinted that he might have been the target of the vandalism, but the investigation into him only serves to definitively prove that Sarah Pearson did not give Alex Trimboli a handjob.
Teacher in charge of the Morning Show. Credited as executive producer of American Vandal.
Hanover High's janitor. Generally considered "creepy AF."
Dylan Maxwell's mother and stepfather. Both convinced of his innocence.
An elderly man who becomes a target for a prank by the Wayback Boys.
The "hot" counselor at Camp Miniwacka. Boyfriend of Christa Carlyle, and unrequited crush of Sara Pearson.
- Chekhov's Gunman: He's mentioned only a few times in passing. The final episode strongly hints that he drew the dicks.
A socially awkward bullied kid who becomes the prime suspect in the Turd Burglar case.
- Ambiguous Disorder: Kevin's awkward mannerisms, smug persona and elaborately anal-retentive methods of "properly" enjoying tea can all be indicators that he is on the autism spectrum somewhere, and it is discussed in-universe by one of his classmates, but dismissed just as quickly.
- Butt-Monkey: He's constantly getting mocked at school, even if he doesn't see the other kids' jokes as taunts.
- Expy: His tea review vlog series seems to make him one of Reviewbrah.
- Malicious Misnaming: Dubbed "Shit Stain McClain" since he was a kid for sitting on grass that made it look like he soiled himself.
St. Bernie's star basketball player and one of the Turd Burglar suspects.
- Book Dumb: Although it's not really his fault: Athletes get easier classes on purpose so they can focus on training. He gets Biology credits by taking Zoology (where you get points in a test by correctly naming a picture of a zebra). Still, he does show some interest and talent in English.
- Friend to All Children: At the end of Season 2, he is given community service for being an unwilling accomplice to the Turd Burglar. He is seen serving by coaching kids in basketball, claiming he enjoys it dearly.
- Hidden Depths: He managed to write a decent poem, even if it got him mocked by students from rival schools when the poem was posted without his approval.
- 100% Adoration Rating: Every student at St. Bernie's loves DeMarcus, to the point where it's suggested that he can get away with murder.
- It's All About Me: DeMarcus is a friendly guy who's never mean to anyone, but he's also extremely self-involved because of his fame and privileges. He openly takes phone calls during class and he is frequently condescending or passively insulting to the people around him.
- Karma Houdini: The star of St. Bernie's decorated basketball team and easily the most popular student in school. He is known for toeing the line every now and then, going as far as answering his phone in class, because he knows he is that valuable to the school. As a matter of fact, his theorized motive as a suspect in the Turd Burglar case is pretty much "because he could get away with it". ultimately subverted: he was a part of the attacks, but only because he was being blackmailed by the true mastermind. In the end he gets community service for his role.
- Lonely at the Top: As king of the school and a future basketball superstar, he's extremely popular and friendly with everybody, but deep down he's incredibly lonely and suspects all his friends of being phony.
- Nice Guy: He's fairly pleasant, even when being pressed about potentially being the Turd Burglar. He even apologizes to Peter for walking out of the interview.
- Sheep in Sheep's Clothing: He is beloved by students and teachers alike for being a popular , yet kind and friendly student, but is he? Yes, yes he is. Zig-zagged in that he did commit one of the Turd Burglar attacks, but he was being blackmailed.
DeMarcus's right hand man who sees himself as DeMarcus's best friend, but everyone knows Lou is more like his personal assistant/butler.
- Fair Weather Friend: Implied to be this to DeMarcus.
- The Man Behind the Man: Perry Coleman says he and [DeMarcus's father are this to DeMarcus, and his scenes with DeMarcus later in the season confirm this, though DeMarcus is able to get out from under his "best friend"'s thumb by the end of the season.
- Manipulative Bastard: Obviously qualifies when it's revealed he is DeMarcus's co-puppetmaster, but keeping his "best friend" apart from his idol and calling the cops on Skip Day solidify him as this.
Kevin's best friend who suspects him of being the Turd Burglar.
- Nice Guy: Comes off as this.
- Right for the Wrong Reasons: He is right about Kevin doing The Brownout, but not for his suspicion that Kevin did it as an act of revenge for years of bullying.
- Romantic Runner-Up: Chloe's not-so subtle feelings for Kevin during her interviews make it seem like Tanner was this for her.
A close friend of Kevin and Tanner who thinks Kevin is innocent and suspects DeMarcus.
A popular girl at school who was the envy of most students due to her seemingly perfect life.
- Lipstick Lesbian: She's an attractive young woman who was said to have had a girlfriend.
- Old Shame: She posted a picture jokingly stating that she was best friends with Kendall Jenner, but after it was revealed that she waited five hours in line just for an autograph and picture with Kendall, the other students turned on Jenna and labeled her a fraud. Even her girlfriend broke up with her as a result.
A theater kid who has pictures of him in a diaper exposed to the school.
- Camp Straight: He's a theater kid who has platonic friendships with all the theater girls. One guy lets Drew take his girlfriend to prom after getting grounded because he knows Drew wouldn't be a threat.
- Embarrassing Nickname: "Diaper Drew" as a result of the pictures of him leaking.
- Take Our Word for It: We never get to see exactly what is going on in the diaper video leaked during The Dump, but we do know that a) it was extremely graphic and humiliating, and b) it apparently involved some supposedly impossible feat of flexibility.
St. Bernie's star athlete in 2016. He is currently studying at UCLA on a sports scholarship.
- Jerk Jock: He was beloved by everyone, and he abused his popularity to get away with pranks and bullying.
- Karma Houdini: Offscreen. When he was a senior at St. Bernie's, he stole the school's mascot costume, and when a girl complained about it, he used it to mock her over the internet for months. Nobody looked into it, and he ended up graduating and going to UCLA.
An overly religious student who unknowingly broke open a pinata containing feces in front of his English class.
- Holier Than Thou: Comes with being a High School kid obsessed with Catholicism. He gets in long, loud arguments with the English teacher over Kurt Vonnegut and his portrayal of sex in his works.
- The Friend No One Likes: Seems to be this to most of St. Bernie's.
- The Fundamentalist: He is heavily religious to the point where he argues with his English teacher's literary choices due to his belief that they go against God's word. Even the nuns think he could turn it down a notch.
A former student at St. Bernie's who was expelled for a prank that involved writing crude things through other students' twitter accounts.
- Big Bad: For Season Two, as he is the mastermind behind the Turd Burglar pranks.
- The Dog Was the Mastermind: Just a guy that got kicked out of high school for a few mildly offensive tweets. He works at a phone repair kiosk, where he is perfectly willing to talk to Peter and Sam. He is mentioned sparingly and appears on camera once, until it's revealed he is the Turd Burglar, that is.
- Manipulative Bastard: He catfished a number of people, mostly students but at least one teacher as well, pretending to be a pretty girl who tricked these people into sending graphic photos and videos that he would later use to blackmail them into committing the poop crimes. What's worse is he still shares the photos and videos when he knows he's about to be exposed.
St. Bernardine Faculty
St. Bernardine Catholic's principal. Concerned about the high school's reputation above all else.
One of the janitors at St. Bernardine. He was allegedly a key witness to the last Turd Burglar attack, but he quit suddenly the day after.
- Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": Even the teachers refer to him only as "Hot Janitor". Deconstructed, when Peter and Sam could not even get his name and had to reach him through someone who bought shrooms off of him.
- Kicked Upstairs: He didn't actually quit: He was quietly transferred to a sister school with better pay. Presumably, the best way to keep him quiet was to leave him content.
- No Name Given: His actual name is never revealed.