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Funny / A Dragon of the North

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  • Somewhat meta-wise, the Write-in response of "This isn't where I parked my horse..." winning the vote for Jon's action when discovered eavesdropping at Runestone. Initially a joke vote, the response caught on and won. And perhaps may also have started the enmity with House Turner...
  • The court's reaction after finding out that Littlefinger was unaware that he had Blackfyre all along gathering dust in a warehouse, and sold it to Jon for what amounted to loose change. Renly's reaction was especially amusing: Lord Renly in particular had grown fond of presenting him with a broken kitchen ladle at random times, claiming it to be an ancient Valyrian artifact dating back to the Doom.
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  • Yohn's made a hobby of playing jokes on others. He tricked Olyvar into spending hours studying Stark history for a bet he didn't even bother participating in (while at the same time forcing him to learn his master's family history), and had his bird land and crap on Jon's shoulder while he was meditating.
  • The conversation between Jon and Tyrion, when in response to Tyrion's comment about all Lannisters not being monsters Jon replies: "You've a Kingslayer for a brother, a butcher for a father, and a cunt for a nephew, forgive me for not feeling overly kind."
  • "Not kittens," said Tommen with widened eyes as he hugged his sister for reassurance "Not the kittens."
  • Pretty much every moment with Olenna Tyrell in it is gold.
    "Lord Stormcrown," says the dowager with a nod of her head "You made quite an entrance this fine day. Quite a sight you made, swooping in on your overgrown lizard. One might think you were trying to make a statement."
    "I was," you say calmly enough "the statement is: I have a dragon. I'm sorry to hear you didn't quite catch it, but I suppose it was very subtle."

    "I don't know," you tease slightly "I haven't yet decided who to give the garland crown when I win House Hightower's tourney. And a Tyrell marriage wouldn't be amiss."
    "My dear," she says to you very quietly and carefully, almost beckoning you to lean in to listen "I would ruin you for any other woman."

    "Lady Olenna," you say with a polite bow and a mental sigh as you kiss her hand "My home and hearth will always be yours. Someone has to be called Nana by the children after all."
    "I shall disown every spawn of your loins that dares call me thus," she says with a sniff "But it is well that hear you say so. You'll forgive me for interrupting the procession of course, being merely a well-meaning, harmless old dowager-"
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  • Odran zo Odran uttering his signature catchphrase "literally nothing wrong" after getting his entire army of Unsullied killed.
  • Robert Baratheon's reaction when he remembered how...eager Lady Buckwell was in bed.
  • Theon killing Ramsey by stabbing him in the dick
  • Tywin Lannister's men surrendering him to the royal armies while he was attempting to... restock his treasury.
  • Beric and everybody else's (in the quest or thread) reaction to the naming of Theon Greyjoy as Warden of the West and Lord of Casterly Rock.
  • While traveling to the Eyrie through the Vale, a woman on a balcony (who was probably a whore) flashed Jon her breasts, maybe hoping to curry favor with the new King. Jon does not react externally, but...
    Also, Margaery's were firmer and fuller, but that was a separate matter entirely.


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