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     The Evil Geniuses 
Put quite simply, these guys are you. They serve as your avatar in the game, with their ultimate goal being world domination. The player has three choices: Maximilian, Alexis or Shen Yu.

All of them

  • Invincible Villain: Almost. Your Genius cannot be killed by the regular Soldiers, only by the Super Agents and the Assassin that you have to trick into killing a clone of for an optional objective.
  • Kneel Before Zod: Win the game, and you're treated to a video of your Evil Genius making the UN assembly hall his/her throne room, and having world leaders kneel down to them.
  • Non-Action Big Bad: Despite being able to off their own minions, none of them are capable of fighting back or even running. If they're under attack, you'd best have minions or Henchmen nearby to cover the Genius' slow escape.
  • Player Character: The Evil Genius serves as the avatar for the player.
  • We Cannot Go On Without You: Being the Player Character, them dying will spell Game Over for the player. However, see Actually a Doombot above.

Maximilian

Alexis

  • The Charmer: Alexis' is a beloved presence the world over, and her own advantage is that she gets a much larger aura than Maximilian or Shen-Yu. Alexis can singlehandedly restore the loyalty of minions en-masse, simply by standing in a room.
  • Expy: Of Cruella de Vil.
  • Evil Redhead: Her hair is crimson red, and she's an evil genius.
  • Kill It with Fire: She executes her minions via flicking her cigarette at them and burning them alive.
  • Small Name, Big Ego: Being the heiress to a wealthy media tycoon gave her quite an ego, motivating her Start of Darkness. In a subversion, her name really is that big; her achievements include quadrupling the value of her father's media empire, directing and starring in multiple movies that became smash hits and becoming America's top celebrity while at it. She might as well be Big Name, Bigger Ego.
  • Spoiled Brat: But she's not your standard Spoiled Brat, she has the ambition, skills, brains, and charisma to make it REAL big. And so she did.
  • Villain with Good Publicity: Unlike Max who's a poor socialite and Shen Yu who stays in the shadows, Alexis steps into the spotlight and is loved by everyone.

Shen Yu

  • Expy: Of Fu Manchu.
  • Ice-Cream Koan: These make up a good portion of his dialogue.
    "Foolish man often walk into sharp thing..."
    "He who walk... arrive."
  • Knife Nut: His execution move has him stab his minion with a dagger.
  • The Spymaster: Compared to Max who's a wealthy industrialist with poor social skills or Alexis who eats up the attention on the spotlight, Shen Yu prefers to remain clandestine.
  • The Sneaky Guy: Goes in hand with his Spymaster theme.
  • The Syndicate: Runs one of this, which is a counter-intelligence agency dedicated to mislead the forces of justice. In game terms, agents are supposed to take longer to arrive on his island.
  • Yellow Peril: Since he hailed from an A.N.V.I.L. territory.

     The Henchmen 
The Henchmen, as their title may imply, are your seconds. They are far stronger than normal minions and have their own special abilities.

All of them

  • Elite Mooks: They're your Elite Mooks, more specifically.
  • Final Death: Super Agents are able to inflict this on them by killing them three times.
  • The Dragon: Your starting Henchman can be this to you.
  • Invincible Villain: Same deal as your Genius, which is the biggest reason the Super Agents are so dangerous.
  • Names to Run Away from Really Fast: Quite a number of them. Let's see, Lord Kane, Eli Barracuda, Dr. Neurocide, Dr. Ethan Asia aka The Butcher, Red Ivan...
    • The only one averting this is The Matron, whose name is the least scariest out of all henchmen, and yet she's one of the most unhinged.
  • Video-Game Lives: If they are taken down by normal agents, they just pass out for a while, but this being done by a Super Agent will take one of three lives from them. If they lose all three, they're dead for good.

Jubei

  • Flash Step: He can learn the ability "Wind Walk", but it's more a teleport given he can appear anywhere. It makes him one of the more useful combat henchmen, because very few enemies short of a Super Agent can survive Jubei teleporting on top of them with his Critical Slash ability ready.
  • From Nobody to Nightmare: He used to be a lowly janitor for his dojo, and taught himself swordplay by using his broom to mimic the training exercises he witnessed.
  • I Resemble That Remark!: Slaughtered every member of his former dojo because the Dojo masters told him he lacked the sense of peace and tranquillity needed to be a true samurai.
  • Master Swordsman: Presented as such.
  • Samurai: One who went rogue, at that.
  • Supreme Chef: An Informed Ability. He's described as a samurai and a sushi master, but we never see him cook.

Eli Barracuda

  • Afro Ass Kicker: He has a big afro and kicks as much butt as its size.
  • Badass in a Nice Suit: Just don't spill anything on it.
  • Berserk Button: Eli wears a white suit. Don't spill anything on it, as he'll kill you on the spot.
  • Boom, Headshot!: His first ability has him do this, dealing high damage. He's also the only one of the three possible starting Henchmen to carry a gun.
  • Break the Haughty: He used to be a feared crime lord until he shot the Mayor of New York, who stained his suit by spilling coffee on it. Not even his organization could cover it up, and he's forced to go underground... for the time being.
  • Jive Turkey: Oh yeah.
    "Here comes yo daddy!"
  • Magic Music: One of his skills is to pull out a boombox to hypnotize enemy agents into dancing, leaving them helpless.
  • Man in White: Never seen without his white suit, and comes from a criminal background.
  • Scary Black Man: Quite imposing.
  • Top-Heavy Guy: He's quite muscular, and his legs are a little thin.
  • The Mario: Functions this way among the three possible starting Henchmen, representing a middle ground between Jubei's high combat power and Lord Kane's support abilities. He's much more threatening to enemies in direct combat than Lord Kane, yet can still use his Ghetto Posse ability to lead a dance party of enemy agents safely out of your base (or, if you're into that sort of thing, right into your traps).

Lord Kane

  • The Charmer: His Smooth Operator had him calm the target down, get all friendly, and assure them that nothing's wrong, resulting in the target losing all Heat immediately. Unlike Montezuma, the target might still wander around and regain Heat.
  • The Dreaded: He can use his intimidating reputation and appearance to scare enemies into panicking.
  • Expy: Of Keyser Soze. In-game files actually mention Soze as Kane's real name.
  • Historical Rap Sheet: He is suspected of having a hand in every major crime of the 20th century, including setting fire to the Hindenburg, the assassination of Archduke Fran Ferdinand, and sinking the Titanic (though he vehemently insists that the last one was not on purpose).
  • Never Live It Down: A victim of this In-Universe. He has been blamed for sinking the Titanic but he has always vehemently insisted that his involvement in the incident was just an honest accident caused by a minion mishearing his words.
  • Nice Hat: Is always wearing a blue top hat.

Dr. Neurocide

  • Freak Lab Accident: This was her Start of Darkness. She researched experimental bioweapons and cosmetics in the same lab, as the lucrative cosmetics research was very useful to finance the more experimental bioweapons research. However, after a long night of research, Dr. Neurocide mistakenly applied an experimental compound nicknamed "Evil Juice" to her face instead of her foundation. The compound seeped into her bloodstream and remapped her neurons, turning her into a Mad Scientist.
  • Inventional Wisdom: There's something to be said about Dr. Neurocide having a bottle of "Evil Juice" just lying around her lab.
  • Knockout Gas: She can spray endurance-sapping gas around.
  • Mad Scientist: The greatest example of this out of all of the henchmen.
  • Mushroom Samba: In addition to her knockout gas bombs, she can also spray a hallucinogen over areas of your base. As long as the gas lasts, anything affected temporarily loses its Heat rating; an agent can literally take a walk through a hallway filled with priceless stolen artifacts without taking note of anything suspicious.
  • You Gotta Have Blue Hair: She has a purple beehive.

The Matron

  • Ax-Crazy: She worked at a psychiatric hospital and was notorious for brutalizing patients.
  • Electric Torture: After accidentally taking some experimental anti-psychosis drugs, the Matron had a complete turnaround in her behavior. She started administering nonstop electroshock therapy to her unfortunate patients. She was only caught because the Swiss electric board tried to find out why a small village in the mountains was consuming more power than Zurich.
  • Epic Flail: Has one built into her prosthetic hand, after she lost hers from a gangrene-infected bite.
  • Evil Old Folks: Don't let that kindly exterior fool you...
  • Expy: Of Nurse Ratched.
  • Killer Rabbit: She looks like a sweet old granny, and yet she's an Ax-Crazy psychopath.
  • Team Mom: Bizarrely enough, yes. She's got a skill called Motherly Love, which sees her giving another Henchman a coddling treatment complete with face-pinching. It restores the other Henchman's special abilities immediately.

Montezuma

  • Hollywood Voodoo: He uses the darker side of Voodoo to raise zombies for fun and torment people.
  • Laser-Guided Amnesia: His most notable ability is to wipe all Heat from a target and send them packing immediately. It's arguably superior to Kane's Smooth Operator, but it can fail when the target has high intelligence.
  • Supreme Chef: Cooks a real mean gumbo. Though just like Jubei, it's an Informed Ability.
  • Voodoo Doll: His attack uses one of this; it's a ranged attack where he stabs a voodoo doll repeatedly.

Red Ivan

  • BFG: He's never seen anywhere without his trusty bazooka. Amusingly, it folds into a compact form for storage in his person.
  • The Brute: One of, if not the most powerful Henchmen for direct combat. His bazooka is naturally a Herd-Hitting Attack, and he can take on a group of Soldiers solo with it.
  • Destructive Savior: Red Ivan can save the day by blasting any intruding forces of good to bits with his bazooka. The problem is that he's a major collateral damage hazard if it happens to be in your base.
  • Landmine Goes Click: One of his special abilities is planting several mines in a square pattern.
  • Renegade Russian: Was exiled to a gulag because his sadism terrified his communist handlers. As a result, he's disillusioned by both Communism and Capitalism, making him the perfect tool for an Evil Genius wanting to cause global havoc.
  • Psycho for Hire: He's so psycho that the State Sec was dead scared of him.
  • Sealed Badass in a Can: Due to how much collateral damage he causes, many a player would lock him in a Topside Shack outside with high security clearance, leaving him banging on the walls and freaking out for being locked in a small house. But when the forces of justice come knocking, it's time to open the can.
  • Stuff Blowing Up: His specialty. His base attack is blasting enemies with his bazooka, and he can even learn a skill that has him chuck grenades everywhere while Cossack dancing.

The Butcher

  • Ax-Crazy: Literally, too, since his weapons are two meat cleavers.
  • The Butcher: Now this is getting redundant.
  • Dual Wielding: Fights with two meat cleavers.
  • Lightning Bruiser: His attacks really hurt, and come at quite the speed.
  • Mask of Sanity: His first skill, Facade of Normality, is this. Remembering his old bedside manner, he can pass for a sane person to get close to the Agents of Justice without immediately alerting them.
  • Organ Autonomy: He inherited a curse due to receiving a pancreas transplant from a Papa New Guinean cannibal.
  • Punny Name: Before adopting the moniker "The Butcher", he was a doctor called Ethan Asia.
  • Self-Surgery: He once successfully transplanted another man's pancreas into his own body.

The Great Mesmero

Moko

  • Depower: Moko used to be a divine guardian for the Incan civilization, but relinquished his role and power after learning what the Spanish Conquistadors did to his people. He became mortal as a result.
  • Fish out of Temporal Water: He wasn't summoned for a few centuries after the Incans died out, and the world had changed to be unrecognizable to his eyes.
  • Screaming Warrior: Well, he tries to be this. Most of his war-cries get interrupted by him running out of breath or burping.

Colonel Blackheart

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     The Super Agents 
As close to a boss as you can get, the Forces of Justice will send these guys in when you become sufficiently notorious, and each is a combination of two normal agents. These are the only agents who can kill your Henchman.

All of them

  • Boss Subtitles: The first time one of them show up on the Island, the camera will cut to them and show their name.
  • Contractual Boss Immunity: They wouldn't be especially good if you could just kill them at the door, would they? They are similar to Henchmen in this sense, and can only be removed for good via a special optional mission. No such luck for John Steele, though.
  • Expy: All but one of them are either this, or Captain Ersatz.
  • Good Is Dumb: Smarter than the Red Shirts, but still dumb. (But they can afford to be.)
  • Hero... erm, Villain Killer: They're the only characters capable of killing your Henchmen (and if you're particularly unlucky, you).
  • Hero with an F in Good: You may be the bad guy, but these folks kind of stretch the definition of "good". They think nothing of slaughtering your minions on sight, including Social or Science minions who aren't aggressive, and also blow up your hotel, killing tourists in the process. And if they see a body bag of another agent or an innocent, they'll think nothing of photographing it and blaming it on you, even if the death was caused by them.
  • Leitmotif: Each Super Agent has a unique Leitmotif that plays when they arrive on the island.

Mariana Mamba

S.M.A.S.H's Super Agent. She behaves as a Saboteur and Thief, meaning she will seek to enter your base to steal valuables and destroy important equipment.
  • Expy: Of Honey Ryder.
  • Gonk: She's permanently defeated by turning her into one.
  • I Have Boobs, You Must Obey!: Her ability involves completely sapping a minion's loyalty with her looks, causing them to defect on the spot, and unlike other defections, this one can never be re-educated.
  • Knife Nut: She uses a large serrated knife to make short work of any minions who try to attack her.
  • Ms. Fanservice: Her main power. In terms of scale, it's not a particularly useful power since all she can do is convert one minion at a time; a noticeable issue in the early game where your special minions are more important, but laughable when you have 60 or more minions.
  • Stripperific: Wears a bikini and little else, justified, as she's trying to seduce your minions. (Your guards will frisk her anyway if they're supposed to.)

Jet Chan

A.N.V.I.L's Super Agent. Acts as a Soldier and Thief; he will go on the offensive, and will also steal from you if given a chance.

Katerina Frostonova

H.A.M.M.E.R's Super Agent. Acts as a Soldier and Investigator; she will gather incriminating evidence to increase your Heat rating, but will also act offensively as she goes through your base.
  • Captain Ersatz: Actually, no. She's the only Super Agent not to be based on another character.
  • Forced to Watch: Forced to watch you rip apart her only object of affection, Mr. Snuggles. You Bastard!.
  • Girls Love Stuffed Animals: The only thing this Ice Queen ever cares about is her teddy bear, Mr. Snuggles. Which you rip apart in front of her, sending her into a permanent Heroic BSoD and removing her from your hair once and for all.
  • One-Hit Kill: She can only use it once per visit, mercifully, but her ability involves stabbing someone to instantly bring their health down to nil. Better hope she doesn't use it on a Henchman!

Dirk Masters

P.A.T.R.I.O.T's Super Agent. The most destructive agent, he acts as both soldier and saboteur: he will do nothing but smash his way through your base in search of important things or people to shoot.
  • The Ahnold: Being an Expy of Sylvester Stallone's Rambo character.
  • BFG: Remember those Heavy Machine Guns your Mercenaries lug around? This guy carries two.
  • Captain Ersatz: He's more-or-less John Rambo.
  • Idiot Hero: Has the lowest Intelligence of the Super Agents, and his only answer to what he sees on the islands is to shoot everything to pieces. His lack of smarts is the main way to deal with his "missions" without a massive body count, since social minions can leave him confused fairly easily.
  • More Dakka: Carries two giant machine guns around with him at all times.
    • His special skill, Suppression Fire, is also this. He spins around while firing his guns simultaneously, which will typically result in everything in the room except him dead/destroyed.
  • One Last Job: Technically he's retired, but this trope happens to him all the time.
  • Testosterone Poisoning: Big, hunky Top-Heavy Guy who carries around 2 BFG at once. And then this trope is played literally when you find out he's been using highly powerful and illegal steroids to achieve this as he gets older. A trip to the Bio-Tanks later, and all those chemicals mutate him into a unique Freak.

John Steele

S.A.B.R.E's Super Agent. Behaves as a Saboteur and Investigator; he will try to destroy important equipment in your base, and in the process will gather evidence of your evil deeds to further drive up your Heat rating.
  • The Ace: The last Super Agent coming after you, the most annoying to deal with, and utterly unkillable aside from an end-game cutscene.
  • Badass in a Nice Suit: A black and white tuxedo, to be exact.
  • Expy: Of Bond himself! His surname is likely based on Remington Steele, whose actor would go on to play James Bond.
  • Final Boss: He's the very last Super Agent you'll see in the game.
  • Hollywood Hacking: Which sends your entire base and security protocols haywire. Furniture will blow up, all doors will have their security levels reduced, and the alert level of your base will be randomly changed.
  • Skippable Boss: If one is careful about managing their notoriety, it's possible to get through the whole game without even seeing him once.
  • Strapped to a Rocket: His final fate, if you keep him locked up as you launch your Doomsday Device.
  • Title Theme Drop: His Leitmotif is the first few seconds of the main theme song.
  • Tuxedo and Martini: Considering who he's based on, it's little surprise he wears a fancy tuxedo, and his description mentions that the first sign of his approach is an empty martini glass in a nearby casino.

     Minion Types 
The minions are... well, your minions! These guys will carry out your general tasks around the base, but some specialize in certain areas. There are four types of minion. The Construction Minions, Social Minions, Military Minions and Science Minions.

Minions in general

  • Color-Coded Characters: Construction Workers wear yellow, Social Minions wear red (save for the Spindoctor), Military Minions wear orange and Science Minions wear white (Technicians wear some blue with it).
  • Evil Minions: Duh.
  • Failed a Spot Check: Minions will completely ignore all agents unless you tag them.
  • Heel–Face Turn: Minions whose loyalty goes to zero will attempt to escape your island. Unless they're seduced by Mariana Mamba, you'd best tag them for capture and let them sit in a holding cell for a bit. Especially if they are a high-level minion like a Mercenary.
  • Mooks: Well, actually, they're your Mooks.
  • Instant Expert: It takes only a few minutes of training or interrogation for a Construction Worker to become a professional Marksman, suave Playboy, or Quantum Physicist.

Construction Workers

These yellow jumpsuit-wearing are your most common minions, responsible for building your base and being general Cannon Fodder.
  • Handguns: They arm themselves with pistols when the base is set to Yellow or Red Alert.
  • Magikarp Power: Even the best of your Martial Artists and the smartest of your Scientists started out as these brain-dead buffoons.
  • Red Shirt: Well, yellow shirt, anyway. Your basic starter minions who can construct your base and move your furniture around, but are lousy at all World Domination activities.
  • We Have Reserves: They come for free at a rate of 1 minion every minute or so. If you agree to spend some money, they'll appear at a faster rate up to 1 Worker per second. It is possible to continually swarm a Super Agent with endless wave of Workers until they go down, as long you have the cash to pay for it. The Imperial Guard would be proud.
  • Worker Unit: They're the most basic Minion, but also the most important. After all, they're the ones building your base. Construction Workers are also how you get more elite minions, as the elites train the Workers until they reach the position you need.

Social Minions

Valets, Spindoctors, Playboys and Diplomats. They use their abilities to confuse and distract agents, while also running your hotels.
  • Briefcase Full of Money: Diplomats carry these around and use them to bribe agents, which lowers their loyalty.
  • The Casanova: Playboys. Heck, they have a rare and unique animation where they can kiss a female agent and drain more of their stats than usual.
  • Fat Bastard: Spindoctors and Diplomats are the only fat minions in your service, and they are definitely evil.
  • Luxurious Liquor: Playboys offer a fine drink to an agent when tagged for psychological weakening.
  • The Medic: The closest thing you have. If a unit is completely incapacitated, it's your Social minions that will tend to them; enemies dazed from stat drain will be gently led outdoors, and passed-out minions will be carried to a place of safety to recuperate.
  • Non-Action Guy: They'll never attack anyone unless the base is on red alert. And even then, they do such a pathetic job of it that any social minion that gets into a fight with anyone will likely end up very very dead. On the other hand, since the fastest way to reduce your Heat score is to have enemy agents come to the island and leave empty-handed, Social minions are one of the most efficient ways of dealing with intruders. Even if an investigator finds something incriminating, a Spindoctor can leave him so befuddled that he won't remember it.
  • Paparazzi: What Spindoctors essentially are. They either ask their victims for an intrusive interview, or hop around them taking photos. This confuses and baffles the agent, reducing their Smarts.
  • Worker Unit: Valets will extinguish fires if there's any, but if you're careful in managing your equipment or hostile threats, there won't be any fire. They are, however, the *only* units capable of putting out fires, so you'll want to have a few around. Valets will also assist your Construction Workers in buying items for your base. All Social Minions are also able to run your hotels.

Military Minions

Guards, Mercenaries, Martial Artists and Marksmen. These guys are your main combat force which serve to dispose of all those pesky agents sneaking onto your island.
  • Bare-Fisted Monk: The Martial Artists eschew weapons to focus in melee combat. They can still train others into one of the 'lesser' gun-toting minions, likely due to having been one themselves.
  • BFG: Mercenaries use Heavy Machine Guns, Marksmen use sniper rifles, which they carry with themselves at all times.
  • Friendly Sniper: Downplayed, but Marksmen do the same activites as other minions in their free time, such as chatting with minions or henchmen, playing games, watching TV, etc.
  • Highly Conspicuous Uniform: They wouldn't be evil guards without these. All Military minions wear some form of bright orange outfit, which makes them very distinct in appearance.
  • More Dakka: Guards use assault rifles when armed, but Mercenaries take it a step further by arming themselves with heavy machine guns.
  • Properly Paranoid: Marksmen always bring their Sniper Rifle with them, unlike others who would arm themselves only during alert.
  • Shooting Gallery: They're trained in either this (for Mercenaries and Marksmen), dojos (for Martial Artists) or at Punching Bags (Guards). The Marksman shooting range also serves as a torture device, by the way.
  • Sticky Fingers: A Mercenary that decides to bail on you will try to take some of your cash with him. You'd best tag him for 're-education'.

Science Minions

Technicians, Scientists, Biochemists and Quantum Physicists. They are responsible for keeping your base up and running and doing your research for you.
  • The Engineer: Technicians will repair any damaged equipment.
  • Mad Scientist: An entire army of them, conducting your evil research and unlocking new tools and technology as you mix up different items.
  • Non-Action Guy: They will never get into a fight at all. If a soldier is in the same room, don't expect the Science Minion to survive.
  • Worker Unit: After Workers, Technicians are the second-most important minions as they perform routine maintenance work. Especially those Sentry Guns.

Freaks

These monstrosities are available after researching Freak Production. Created by reanimating body bags in the Bio-Tanks, they're strong, tough, and dumber than a sack of brick.
  • Cursed with Awesome: Freaks' inability to not trigger traps have been used in the creation of Freak Trigger, turning your booby-trapped hallway into an always-active Death Course.
  • Dumb Muscle: Strong with nonexistent mental faculty, ensuring they will always trigger your traps.
  • Our Zombies Are Different: They're corpses through biosciences that don't spread their condition, for once.

     Agent Types 
The Agents are your enemies, who are sent by the Forces of Justice to look for misdeeds and try to stop you. There are four flavours of Agent: pathetic, poor, good and exceptional. The higher your heat is, the more powerful Agents that will be sent and the better equipped they'll be.

Agents in general

Investigators and Agents

  • Determinator: Seriously, the lengths of time that some of these guys will spend stood at a door to try and force it open is really quite something, particularly the Pathetic ones who are also extremely bad at it.
  • He Knows Too Much: Essentially the premise behind Investigators. If they find suspicious things in or around your base, they will make a run for the exit platform and tell their superiors about it, raising your Heat, so it's advisable to make sure they don't come back alive...
    • Conversely, it's actually preferable to let unsuspicious Investigators (with a blue ring around them) leave, because then they get a false pretense your island isn't suspicious, getting you a drop in heat from that Force of Justice.
  • Nice Hat: S.A.B.R.E.'s variants have a simple bowler hat adorning their heads. Strangely, the profile image for agents shows P.A.T.R.I.O.T.'s Agents wearing fancy fedoras, even though they never come with them in-game.
  • The Goomba: The weakest of the Agent types and typically the first of the Forces of Justice you will encounter. They are more interested in gathering evidence than fighting.

Burglars and Thieves

  • Bandit Mook: If they see any loot around, count on them to try and swipe it. Letting them get away with it will cause a Notoriety drop, since an Evil Genius who lets their prize loot get stolen isn't to be feared.
  • Blatant Burglar: Like everyone else, they embody their respective areas' stereotypes of what a typical burglar is. For example, S.A.B.R.E.'s Burglars come wearing striped shirts, beanies and masks, while P.A.T.R.I.O.T. sends the Classy Cat-Burglar complete with a comedically-exaggerated gait.
  • Domino Mask: Those aligned with S.A.B.R.E., P.A.T.R.I.O.T. and A.N.V.I.L. will be wearing these.
  • In the Hood: S.M.A.S.H. ones wear hoods.
  • Spy Catsuit: The P.A.T.R.I.O.T. ones come wearing these, of various colors, complete with high heels and a good view of their chest area.

Infiltrators and Saboteurs

  • Absolute Cleavage: The outfit of S.M.A.S.H.'s version doesn't leave too much to the imagination...
  • Gas Mask Mooks: S.A.B.R.E.'s Infiltrators look like members of the SAS, but thankfully, their gas masks don't protect them from gas traps.
  • Harpoon Gun: P.A.T.R.I.O.T.'s Scuba Diver-like infiltrators use their harpoons to fight.
  • Highly Visible Ninja: Quite literally with A.N.V.I.L's version of these, since they are ninjas. In full getup. Of various bright colors.
  • Stripperific: H.A.M.M.E.R.'s Infiltrators are girls that have a fair amount of skin exposed, and wear a Domino Mask.
  • Stuff Blowing Up: Their basic MO. Seeing anything evil will usually result in them trying to destroy it. Woe betide you if they plant charges to do it.

Soldiers and Veterans

  • Badass Grandpa: S.A.B.R.E.'s military force seems to consist entirely of these.
  • Cool Guns: Soldiers from different regions use different rifles:
    • P.A.T.R.I.O.T. uses M16s, S.A.B.R.E. uses Sterling Submachine Guns, A.N.V.I.L. uses AK Ms, H.A.M.M.E.R. uses AK-74s, and S.M.A.S.H. uses IMI Galils. Somehow they all deal the same amount of damage.
  • Elite Mooks: Even pathetic and poor versions of these are elite mooks in and of themselves.
  • More Dakka: Wielding Assault Rifles and coming in squads, they can easily kill a lot of your minions if you're not prepared.
  • Trigger Happy: If they see anything affiliated with you, count on them to start shooting at it. Even if they just so happen to be defenseless Valets in your hotel. What the Hell, Hero? This does render them the least vulnerable to traps, because while most upper-tier agents can walk over basic traps without triggering them, Soldiers just won't leave them intact.

Assassin

  • Assassin Outclassin': You have to trick the Assassin into assassinating a clone of your Evil Genius.
  • I Work Alone: Only one Assassin will be on the island at any given time. To make another appear, you have to kill the current Assassin.
  • Unique Enemy: They only appear during an optional objective on the first island, where the only task the Assassin has is killing you.
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