Analysis / Horny Vikings

The Norse people enjoyed the peak of their power between the 8th and 11th centuries (most historians set the period to 793 - 1066), in what is called The Viking Age. Real Vikings did not wear horned helmets into battle. In fact, only a single horned helmet has ever been excavated, dating several hundred years before the Viking Age, did not have cow-shaped horns, and was clearly ceremonial. At most, Viking helms often featured the distinctive "spectacle-guard" around the eyes and nose, a style common amongst the peoples in the region.

It would have been hard for genuine Vikings to wear horned helmets in battle — Viking warfare was based on the shield wall and other close-quarters styles of fighting (including naval combat which involved a lot of boarding actions), and horns would have put allies at risk of impaling an arm or hand on the protrusions. Or more likely, as any helmet is designed to deflect blows, putting horns and other ornamentation on a helmet would give a weapon something to snag and direct the force of the blow to the wearer's head, defeating the purpose of wearing helmets. In close combat, it would also give an opponent an excellent thing with which he could grab and control someone.

The ancient Norse were also surprisingly civilized, although remembered mostly for their offenses towards women and monks in battle. When not raiding or pillaging, their interests immediately turned to trade and colonization. Areas under the Danelaw quickly became centers of industry and cultural exchange, thanks to wide-ranging Viking vessels.

Vikings were the direct ancestors of the Normans once the people further up the Seine realized it was easier to buy off these Danish hooligans with land at the mouth of the river, rather than have them raid what would later become Paris every once in a while. Indeed, William the Conqueror was the great-great-great-grandson of Rollo, the founder and first ruler of the viking principality that later became Normandy. It is one of the ironies of history that feudal society has its roots among the descendants of vikings, but feudalism never truly caught on in Scandinavia when the cultural influence of the Normans began to spread (people accustomed to electing their kings were not too impressed with the notion of a society run from the top down — among many other things).

Viking lords really did have awesome names like Sveyn Forkbeard, Ivar The Boneless,^note It is possible that the intended meaning was legless (Old Norse had the same word for bone and leg, as do the modern languages which evolved from it). Another, ruder possible meaning makes this an Atrocious Alias, though another reading of his name in Latin could just simply mean "the Hated". and Erik Bloodaxe.

It should also be noted that "viking" was a job description, more or less, rather than an ethnicity. It was a word for their method of raiding. (These warriors could be hired for a right price — just ask the Roman emperors in Miklagarðr). The vast majority of the people were farmers, craftsmen and traders. Population boom + limited farm land = lots of men with energy to burn. The solution? Have them amass wealth and status some other way. Also, far from being filthy and unbathed, their personal hygiene bordered on OCD (well, for the time, anyway). This makes sense as, when it's too cold to sweat ever, you definitely don't want any dirt or grime sticking to you for long periods of time. Among the excellent documentary evidence for Vikings' cleanliness: a letter from a Saxon bishop, complaining that the pagan Norse settlers were luring away Christian women by washing and combing their hair.