(when we open this installment, Rika thinks for a bit)
Rika: ...you know...I haven't noticed just how much some, if not most, of the past heroes are just so out of character. Until the last chapter. Seriously, a cursory glance at the Maskman character sheet says nothing about Momoko being a terrible cook, or a girly-girl who collects magazines and shit. She's a Lady of War who is kind with kids. And yeah, M!Takeru may be a brat, but he was only one when he was a kid!
As for the other Maskmen thus far? Unless if I skipped something, they're having the benefits of being out of focus. Which is also a double-edged sword, but...meh.
Also. A Red Warrior who is a racecar driver. Tell me, why does it sound somewhat familiar later on down the road?
...
Why can't I talk about those things instead of liveblogging this dumb, nonsensical two-parter?
(Rika drinks heavily)
But anyway...last time, we began the Maskman "tribute" (and now, more than ever, those quotation marks are so justified). We had such fun moments such as the whole "same names = coincidence!" bullshit, more OOC-ness, and bigger abuse against Flurious. And I just got so pissed off, because...that chapter was the point of no redemption. From here on out, it's only going to sink lower.
Let's get this over with...
(click!)
The chapter began where the last one left off: a fight between the two Takerus. S!Takeru loses. Well, that was so underwhelming!
The other Maskmen are defeated (again!), and Momoko dehenshins. Why? In the hopes that M!Takeru will remember.
...hey, remember that moment in Power Rangers Zeo where Kat hugs Tommy in the hopes of breaking his brainwashing? It just reminded me of that. Only the Kat/Tommy thing was much better-written. Here? It's just the M!Takeru/Momoko ship getting strangled by the damn red string.
As Momoko tries to have M!Takeru to remember, and yes, he tries to say her name. But then, his dark side happens. And...(she reads)
Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me! No. I am not going to liveblog that moment. I mean, for God's sake, it even breaks the limit of what I can and can't liveblog!
...
There's going to be a bit more of those moments, aren't there?
Momoko tries once more to snap out of M!Takeru's brainwashing, but he tells her that, for messing with his mind, he'll kill her in any way he pleases. And this reminds me of all of Matt's later moments in My Little Eye, from the Wham Line on, only that was...actually, I don't even know which is more disturbing.
But then again, the villain of that movie was never out of character, never was into a brainwashing thing (more of like a pretty damn epic Playing Against Type!), and didn't really fall into a Strangled by the Red String scenario.
...
Why am I reminding myself of other, better works that I could be watching right about now, instead of liveblogging this?
After a scene with Kaoru's team meeting up with Sugata (via the Shiba Train...no, I have no idea how they got it, either, unless if I missed something), and with her telling the commander to meditate for her team, they head to the mountain. Why? They need to get rid of the crack before all Gedoushu spill out.
But hey, let's focus on the "heroes", Momoko especially, trying to reach out to...S!Takeru? Huh? I'm sorry, but...if it wasn't for me liveblogging this mess, I myself wouldn't have known who's really evil and who's not, especially since M!Takeru is sometimes referred to as "Gedou Shinken Red" here!
Buredoran gets ready polishing the crosses, as Akumaro prepares the rifle squad. By the way, the crosses thing? This is not going to be the last time those are used. And considering that shit's getting real, I'm not going to do a "SYMBOLISM!!1" joke. This time.
...though why use crosses, anyway? Wouldn't just tying them to a stake, or having them stand without their transformation trinkets just work? I don't get it.
Oh. And this is RINO's preferred way to kill any rebels. (Rika facepalms)
It gets worse. Kiros is going to get his payment. Specifically, he gets to keep a girl. And who does he keep?
Mako.
(Rika is just burying her face with her hands and lets out a sob)
And why does he want her?
- Kiros: "That's what will make her more exciting for me to own just as Ial is to be my trophy. She'll do well for my treasure collection. It's fun to hold somebody against their will and them they fight to be free. Thieves after all don't take what is theirs, they take from others against their will."
And what makes her so special, anyway? Oh, wait, it's because Akizuki...gah, I can't say it again. It's so...disturbing!
S!Takeru is not happy about it, but Kiros decides that he'll die, too, tomorrow. He thinks about how it's such a waste, having him as another rival.
...
We get a scene with M!Takeru having thoughts about Momoko. Yeah, what happened to Mio, again? Akumaro asks him if anything's wrong, and the former hero says that he knows Momoko from somewhere. The villain assures him that he knows nothing, and if he kills her tomorrow, his mind will be clearer.
(Rika sighs, and she says this in a very serious voice)
And so. It has come to this. Daybreak, in the fields. Most of the "heroes", with the exceptions of Momoko and Mako, are bound to the crosses, selected to die. Ran, Carlos, and Justin lose hope.
M!Takeru tells Momoko that she really ticked him off, and that he'll torture her later. He also starts by...no. Not gonna liveblog that, either, because...really? Momoko tells her friend that it's not him, but he says that he's with the U.A.O.E.
And then. S!Takeru says this.
- S!Takeru: "Mako, farewell… I love you."
...this is powerful. If it wasn't for the plethora of lovey-dovey scenes, that would have been perfect. Maybe in a more Character Development-focused story, yes, but...
I mean...it could be in a story where S!Takeru finds some feelings, and has to balance those with him being the 19th head of the Shiba Clan. And his responsibilities as Shinken Red thereof. When the times get grim, that powerful line will just be so effective—
- "Mako heard those words from Takeru Shiba. She had been waiting for him to say that ever since they got closer no matter how awkward or how they banged each other hard."
(Record Needle Scratch, and we cut to Rika looking bewildered)
Wait...what?! Did he just...no. I gotta read that last sentence again.
(she reads it...and then...)
(Rika ends up laughing hysterically, and the most fitting music plays
as she just has a fit, even rolling on the floor, tears in her eyes. Tranza, silent all this time, stares at the laughing woman)
Tranza: <Well...at least she's not driven insane anymore...>
(Rika pulls herself up, the laughing eventually fading, and she's in a good mood now)
Rika: Oh, my God. It was nearly perfect, what M!Takeru did to Momoko notwithstanding. But then...to kill the fucking mood by admitting, right there, in the fucking narration, that S!Takeru and Mako had Wooden Ducks...oh, my God! Now that's a friggin' epic mood killer!
Storywriters, protip: if you want to make a dramatic scene, just think about what would happen, and how everything should be played out. Even the narration. But you do not say something ridiculous like the most...private lives.
(Rika is coughing)
And you know what? If Akizuki insists on making the most awkward moments interspersed with dramatic scenes, you bet your ass that I'll snark on them!
After a scene with RINO, in the U.A.O.E, having his forces gun down frightened prisoners, which includes European resistance forces, we cut back to the fields. The other Shinkengers save the captured Maskmen and S!Takeru's team. Kaoru writes the mojikara for "strength" to help her allies, allowing Mako to break free from the chains.
Seriously.
S!Takeru's team transforms, causing M!Takeru to shout "ONORE!"
Narutaki: ONORE, DIKEIDO!
- Past!Rika: ONORE, JOHNSON-SAMA!
(Rika is flustered by the sudden clip of herself)
Rika: SHUT UP, PAST ME!
(she clears her throat)
Tranza: What was that?
Rika: It was back when I was young. And dumb. And full of gushing towards...you-know-who.
(she is just blushing red from embarrassment)
And that's the tamest of my past stupidites.
But anyway. The rest of the Maskmen decide to do a group "Get A Hold Of Yourself, Man!" fight. If only it was as simple as just slapping the shit out of M!Takeru...
We go back to...Mt. Osure. (Rika shrugs) At this point, this story's insane enough, kids! When they try to find the crack, Flurious—I'm not kidding—breaks through the fucking trap with his anger. And he says a dramatic statement!
- Flurious: "Just watch out everybody here comes the future ruler of the universe. You all are going to hail Flurious! Radiguet you better bow to me now!"
...
That has got to be one of the most badass statements anyone has ever uttered. In this story thus far. I'm serious. I...yes, I know what Flurious is actually like, but this is just brilliant! Finally, he gets his shining moment!
...
.................................
.....................................................................................
That's probably going to get shot down to Hell, isn't it?
As Kaoru prepares the sealing symbol, Flurious bursts out like a badass out of hell. He tries his best to stop the symbol, but you have three guesses as to how the story will end.
Answer: Satoru, with the Golden Sword, curbstomps Flurious hard. After a series of slashes, the "hero" finishes the former Overdrive villain off with the Golden Slash. Flurious swears vengeance...and he explodes after the sealing symbol is finished.
...
Look on the bright side. At least Flurious won't get destroyed anymore with Akizuki's brand of hatred. Even though the fight is a fucking letdown after such a promising beginning.
Back to the Maskmen, they eventually succeed in snapping M!Takeru out of it. He apologizes to...Momoko, and he promises to treat her out. Eh, I'm not going to expect much, if at all.
But don't worry, M!Takeru. You still have Haruka to fall in love with, too, you damn playboy!
So after the Maskmen do their role call, Akumaro's team is not happy that their plan's failing. The "heroes" defeat the villains. To know what's going on, so far, Mako beats Kiros and Oya-Bu, and Ran beats Fu-Min.
We go to the two Takerus, and they face off against Samurai Doggler (not "Dobler" as it was originally spelt). M!Takeru wants to gain revenge, and Samurai Doggler says crap about...yes...the whole "name's the same" bullshit. As if we even care. The two Takerus fight with their swords, overpowering the monster to the point where cracks start to form. Especially with the water drying up. And so, M!Takeru uses the Jet Cannon to defeat Samurai Doggler.
...that is, until Igam calls out for Okelampa. Likely, this little guy is probably grumbling about needing a raise. After Tube and Kiros escape, he enlarges and revives Samurai Doggler. As for the Maskmen, they summon their own mecha, Great Five, to battle.
By the way, Samurai Doggler gets his ass handed to him when the Great Five use its sword. And with the Final Aura Burst, he's defeated for good. NEXT!
The Maskmen, S!Takeru's team, and Kaoru's team reunite. Satoru confirms Flurious' death, and S!Takeru realizes that the villains would gain newer allies. Oh, and as for the Shiba Time Train? Turns out it's another one of those Time Trains. And the others have yet to be tested.
...
I just wonder how in the hell the USSPRA manage to make a lot of Time Trains, and how long it took them.
After we get scenes of the teams interacting, the two Takerus talk about love and whatnot. S!Takeru says that Momoko and M!Takeru should be together, but...the latter says she cannot cook well. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME.
Oh, and it causes everyone to talk about about her and Mako's cooking. We get it, they suck at cooking, even though they're not supposed to! I mean, hell, with Momoko? I saw nothing on the character sheet that suggests she's a Lethal Chef. Or even girly-girly. From what I've seen, she's a strong character, serious but very kind-hearted.
Do I need to point out the one time she fought against a monster for so long, untransformed? Even though it caused her to collapse and fall unconscious?
After M!Takeru insults Momoko again, she tells him angrily that he can't be overconfident that he'll get Mio back. Jeeze, lady. And you two are supposed to be shipped in Akizuki's eyes how, exactly?
Anyway, the USSPRA return to their own time, and speaking of, we go back to the U.A.O.E. RINO throws a fit over the loss (again!!!), even when Akumaro says that murdering Flurious was his idea. Regardless...Kiros is shown to have officially joined the villains' team, having replaced Mikoto. And do you want to know how he ended up getting revived?
- "He had somehow managed to survive under all that rubble and his fatal wound. It was revealed that he was actually fell into Gedou before the cave fell in, with or without their interference but Doukoku refused to use him in favor of the wicked swordsman Juzo."
(Rika headdesks)
That...just...gah, why?! What kind of ass pull is this?
Anyway, Kiros is greeted, and Akumaro and Buredoran are punished. RINO decides that it's time to keep gunning the rebels down and torture women. Have I mentioned just how freaking much he has a one-track mind?
After a scene with most of the Space Rangers reunited, we see the Shinkengers, and they watch Spike pounding rocks. As Ryunosuke still remains an asshole, Kotoha tells him to knock it off. They eventually leave after Chiaki wants to have Spike pound more rocks, and Genta remains oddly...loyal to Kaoru? Huh?
(Rika shrugs)
Later, we get a scene with Spike still determined to win Kaoru's heart. Also, Skull visits his son, and they have a bit of a chat. It would have been heartwarming if A) Spike isn't made into an overblown jackass and B) we didn't have more mindfucky sentences.
- Skull: "Well I'm here to visit you son. I do hope you'll learn your lesson. And as your dad, I have the responsibility of making sure you learn your lesson."
Seriously, who speaks like that?
And so, this chapter ends with S!Takeru and Mako having yet another "tender moment". Turns out that she was indeed waiting for him to propose to her! How long? Who the fuck knows? It was to the point where she realized that a normal life would be a boring one, and so she kept her samurai status.
(Rika sighs)
We close with the two ready to face whatever dangers life throws at them. Good God, that was just—
(she looks)
...
Really? A copypasted last five paragraphs from the last fucking installment? Well, it began with laziness, might as well end with laziness!
(Rika takes a long drink)
With the exceptions of a few moments...that sucked. The Maskman "tribute", more than any other "tribute" so far, really, really sucked. M!Takeru and Momoko were wildly out of character the entire damn time, the plot was so nonsensical, and...do I really need to mention Flurious' fate?
At least I hope that this is the last we'll see of M!Takeru and Momoko—
(she then looks at the Liveman arc and sees that they're there)
DAMN IT!
(at the rest stop, the remaining All-Stars manage to recover)
Ryota: We don't have that far to go!
Brittany: Yeah. I mean, I don't know what else we'll face, but...
Matoi: Hopefully we don't lose any more allies!
Christopher: ...
(he's remaining so silent)
Ryota: Everyone, let's give it our all!
All-Stars: RIGHT!
(Christopher just nods, and the group heads off. The man feels a bad omen, not sure what to explain to the group)
Will Rika lose her mind? What will happen next in the story? And what dangers will the All-Stars face next?
Emergency Signal; Now, Forward! To the next liveblogging of Super Sentai vs. Power Rangers!!
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