History WebVideo / KilianExperience

** He plays a game of ''[[VideoGame/{{Civilization}} Civilization V]]'' on [[IdiosyncraticDifficultyLevels Deity]] with only Domination victory turned on as [[JokeCharacter Venice]]. [[spoiler:He loses. To [[LethalJokeCharacter Ca]][[CanadaEh na]][[GameMod da]]!]]

** He states that the Desert Ruins level in ''VideoGame/SpyroYearOfTheDragon'' has you become a ''Franchise/TombRaider'' and meet another iconic UsefulNotes/PlayStation character, [[spoiler: ''VideoGame/GranTurismo'']]

* CommanderContrarian: Kilian loves to take these positions - for instance, in [[BribingYourWayToVictory the midst of]] [[ObviousBeta backlash against]] [[PreorderBonus the preorder model,]] he did "Why You Should Preorder Every Game." Equally, he loves to use InsaneTrollLogic to defend these opinions.

* FreudWasRight: Apparently, [[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid3 Sokolov]] was working with erectile dysfunction before he became a rocket scientist, since they're "surprisingly similar." They needed him because President Johnson reportedly noted that [[TheLoinsSleepTonight "I need my rocket to go up."]]

* ''VideoGame/MetalGearSolid3''

** In "This Is How The World Will End", Kilian made fun of the YouTube channel Kurzgesagt as an example of GermanicDepressives.

* PublicDomainSoundtrack: The music to Kilian's videos consist mostly of classical music, stock music by Creator/KevinMacLeod and game soundtracks.

* AccentAdaptation: Most of the ComicBook/{{Avengers}} pick up rather weird accents in Kilian's attempts to show how ''Film/AvengersEndgame'' will go, including Captain America having a thick Southern drawl, Black Widow an absurd Russian accent, and Pepper Pots having an equally absurd New York accent.

--> '''Norman''': "Spike, you need to defeat eight Gym Leaders like me to gain access to the Pokemon League. And right now you're too awful to defeat me. I could defeat my dad when I was six. You are an embarrassment to our family, and to our ancestors, and I hate you."

--> '''[[BlatantLies Official]] Nintendo Lore''': "Waluigi is the bastard son of Nectarin. Every night his father would drown himself in liquor and beat him like a dog."
--> '''Kilian''': "What the fuck?! The manual for ''Mario Tennis'' did not mess around!"

--> '''Izzy''': "Tai, I didn't know you had such ''awful'' parents! What kind of moron leaves an eight year old to take care of a sick five year old then blames the kid?!"

--> '''Kilian''': "Before you ask, no I did not get the original actors to do their voices. It's actually me!"

--> '''Kilian:''' "Albus asks him about it. In the book, calmly. In the movie, he pushes him against the wall. In the game however, he doesn't say anything: Dumbledore just ''stabs'' him."

--> '''Kilian''': "In it you play as brie cheese. They ask him to join the Assassins and he can't decline because Cheese doesn't have opinions. He's in love with a girl but she's a Templar and he's a dairy product."

-->'''Onlooker''': "An angel. Ah, these armies invading are the armies of Hell. The apocalypse is happening. I should probably kill my boss."

--> '''Kilian''': "Hundreds of billions of people in the galaxy and he manages to be the biggest asshole!"

--> '''Lance''': "When you are the pokemon Champion, you are above the law!"

--> '''Al Mualim''': "You think we care about your laws? We don't even care about the laws of ''physics!''"

--> '''Kilian''': "When I see a potato in a medieval game it makes my fucking blood boil!"

--> '''Kilian''': "In the ''Franchise/{{Pokemon}}'' Universe [[ParentalNeglect you can throw your kids out when they are 12]]. But if you [[SeriousBusiness use your bike indoors]] [[FelonyMisdemeanor you get the Death Penalty.]]"

--> '''Kilian''': "NOPE! NOT LIKE THAT! AH MY EYES!"*later* "That was nasty! Night Elf Druids need Jesus!"

-->'''Kilian:''' Now, I'm High King. And I'm not gonna be a tyrant. (beat) I changed my mind.

--> Kilian: "If cheese exists it's not even a post-apocalyptic dystopia."

--> '''Kilian''': "We need 90 people, and they all need to have dedicated their life to a specific instrument."

--> '''Kilian''': "Happily ever after. No, what's that music?! [[Series/GameofThrones Roose Bolton]] no!"
* CulturedBadass: Subverted. In his "review" of ''Pokemon Ruby'', Kilian states that he is a big fan of classical art ... and that his favorite form of this is [[PopCulturedBadass memes from 2006]].

--> '''Altair''': "I guess we have a lot in common. [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone Now I feel like shit for killing ya]]."
--> '''Robert de Sablé''': "Don't Altair, my new friend. The thing is; sometimes you're flush, sometimes you're bust. And when you're up, it never feels as good as it seems. And when you're down you think you'll never get back up again. But life goes on."
--> '''Altair''': "Goodbye, my friend."

-->''"The current town square hosts the best executions of apostates in central Europe"\\

--> '''Kilian''': "Let's be honest here: the King knows, the King doesn't care."

--> '''Tolkien''': "You know how fantasy is for children?"
--> '''Publisher''': "Uhh ..."
--> '''Tolkien''': "I've written [[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings a one thousand two hundred pages long book!]]"
--> '''Publisher''': "What?!"
--> '''Tolkien''': "It's a musical?"
--> '''Publisher''': "What?!"
--> '''Tolkien''': "You need to read this bible to understand it!"
--> '''Publisher''': "Why?!"

-->"Hey John, wanna go see a Super Bowl later? I have bought several inches of diet coke! Alright!"
-->"No, I can't, motherfucker. I have to do the Thanksgiving. It sucks. There are so many Fahrenheits outside!"

--> '''Kilian''': "[[BlatantLies Obviously I tried to make this guide as unbiased as possible]], so Team Mystic if you want to be surrounded by people who won't shut up about eco-friendly Pokeballs, Team Instinct if you want to hear conversations about how good Discovery Channel is now, and [[MasterRace Team Valor if you don't want to disappoint your ancestors. And if you're a pure-blood trainer]]. Also [[WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender Fire Lord Ozai]] [[TakeOverTheWorld did]] [[AbusiveParents nothing]] [[FantasticRacism wrong]]."

--> '''Kilian''': "[[{{Deprogram}} We can help them escape the cult]] you psychos!" ''(later)'' "I slayed the Blood Cult ... with love!"

--> '''Kilian''': I love the trilogy. ''VideoGame/MassEffect2'' was amazing and ''VideoGame/MassEffect3'' promised an ending we would never forget. [[EsotericHappyEnding They didn't lie!]]
--> '''Kilian''': Ruby has a lot of water. I wouldn't lower a review score because of it because that's stupid!" (later) "I liked Ruby, but it needs way more water! 1 out of 10 worst game ever!

--> '''Kilian''': "I'm not an android-ist: I own an android! But I do think they should all be scrapped!"

** How Kilian interprets the execution of Ezio's father and brothers. Ezio's father and older brother were both assassins, and therefore murderers (or accomplices to murder) who deserved to die. And his younger brother ? Well, he was [[AdaptationalVillainy selling military secrets to France]].
--> '''Ezio's Dad:''' "Ezio, Idiota! Can't you see I'm locked up."
--> '''Ezio:''' "But you're innocent, right?"
--> '''Ezio's Dad:''' [[NonAnswer "Mmmmmnnnnnnn"]]

* TheGenericGuy: Soldier 76 from ''VideoGame/{{Overwatch}}''

--> '''Kilian''': "Tracer can't even go far back in time to, like, [[HitlersTimeTravelExemptionAct stop Hitler]]. Or, you know, [[NaziProtagonist Help Hitler]]! Wouldn't surprise me!"

--> '''Kilian''': "Like most [=RPGs=] you get XP and levels. When you level up you get attribute points. I never invested Strength or Dexterity; never needed them in real life, won't need them here. I put all my points in cunning: this is a Warden ready for the 21st century."

** In the Assassin's Creed Retrospective, Kilina describes UsefulNotes/JuliusCaesar as being "the most beloved person in the world" and "ancient Creator/TomHanks".

--> '''Kilian''': "For [music] to come back from this point a musician better than all other previous musicians would have to come forth. The odds of that are not astronomical, they are proof of DivineIntervention. Yet... it happened. Out of the ashes rises the Pitbull!"

--> Spain: "Not a single mention in this entire video? We'll show you! We'll show all of you!"

-->He opened the door and SURPRISE! Everyone was fine! It was all just an elaborate ruse for a fun surprise party! This... [[spoiler:these are the hallucinations of a cold and starving man.]]

--> "To get the second sunshine, we have to face [[ManEatingPlant this thing.]] Nowhere in my bloody punishment does it say I have to kill giant plant monsters. I hate being the main character."

--> '''Kilian''': "She's like ... [[TankGoodness a Tank]]. Hard on the outside, but cozy and sweet on the inside."

-->'''Ebenezer''': "Is this my funeral? Wow, so many people will remember me."
-->'''Final Ghost''': "Who cares about how many people visit your grave? You're dead!"

--> Ah, sacrebleu innit!"

* MobySchtick: In ''VideoGame/{{Subnautica}}'', Kilian makes it his mission to hunt Marcus despite the fact that his actual game goal is to escape the planet. He even quotes [[Literature/MobyDick Moby Dick]] several times, and at one point mentions the book ... and how he didn't read it ... because it's long and "boring".

* NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer: In the ''VideoGame/MassEffect'' recap, Kilian announces "[[spoiler:The ship did it]]! ...No, really." This is [[ItMakesSenseInContext indeed the actual plot twist]] - that being, [[spoiler:Saren's ship is the Reaper Sovereign and the true mastermind behind the game's story]], but out of context, it sounds exactly like the sort of thing Kilian would make up.

--> ''Obi Wan'': "Will she make it, Doctor?"
--> ''Doctor Robot'': "Uh, I'm not that kind of doctor-robot. I'm a doctor of [[ADegreeInUseless robo gender studies]]."

--> '''Ubisoft HQ''': "How long until that France game?"
--> '''Ubisoft Montreal''': "A year and a half maybe?"
--> '''Ubisoft HQ''': "Okay. Release it tomorrow!"

--> '''Saren''': "Council, if I was evil, I would hide it. Currently, I both look and sound evil."

* OmnicidalManiac: [[RaceNameBasis Dwarf the Dwarf]] exterminates an entire island worth of people ... [[GenieInABottle several times]].
--> Kill Count (by end of video): 684241

--> '''Kilian''': It took four hours to beat this [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] boss with a club. [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Seriously, I have four hours of footage of just running in this oversized ashtray.]]

-->"Remember when you tried to kill my dad several times? Well, I'm going to do something equally bad, and ruin your vacation!"

-->"First thought, they're all shooter games - no, ''Halo 1'' is more of an emotional journey."

--->'''Kilian''': "Because it doesn't matter what you do: The universe will whoop your ass."

--> '''Kilian''': "Turns out Strider is Aragorn, a descendant of Isildur... who was alive 2900 years ago, so by now probably every tenth person is a descendant of Isildur."

** In ''VideoGame/DragonAgeInquisition'' he initially expected to torture Jews in the setting ... and "wasn't that far off".

--> '''Kilian:''' *flustered* "Why this keeps happening to me I DON'T KNOW!"

-->''"So I log into Twitter, right, and I check my Twitter feed, and it says '[[VideoGame/{{Portal}} The giant cake]] [[DiscreditedMeme is a lie!]]' Aha, ha, [[DontExplainTheJoke get it?]]"''

---> '''Kilian''': "Having empathy for other players? What a loser! So always try your best in a videogame or you will be sucking dick for heroin!"

---> "It doesn't matter what you do, the universe will whoop your ass."
---> "We need to save the bison because [[SpaceWhaleAesop they protect us from giant killer asteroids]]. [[InsaneTrollLogic You see, bisons are floofy, and the meteor will bounce off their floofyness back into space]]."

--> '''Kilian:''' "Brazil spent 800 million on security. The Quidditch World Cup spent that times zero!"

--> Kilian: "That's [causing existential dread] German behavior. Bloody Germans, scaring everybody."
--> Kurzgesat (as impersonated by Kilian): "Ze world is terrifying, like a waiter bringing in a burnt weiner schnitzel."

-->"What are they gonna do, put a prison owner in prison? That's literally against the laws of physics!" [''cue audio of a SWAT raid'']

-->'''Tom Nook''': [[PunctuatedForEmphasis "HE. STOLE. FROM. ME."]]
* ViolenceReallyIsTheAnswer: In ''VideoGame/SpyroYearOfTheDragon'', the only world NOT conquered by the Hippo Queen is the ice world ... which is also the only world with cannons everywhere.

* PandaingToTheAudience: His profile picture and avatar is a red panda wearing a tricorne and reading a book.

* DidntThinkThisThrough: In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUfwhNL9GGk "Potatoes In Video Games Offend Me"]], Kilian stated that it was a deal-breaker for a game in a medieval setting to have potatoes unless it also has a mountainous rain forest and a llama. He has to play the game from beginning to end, three times, in order to verify whether or not it meets the requirements. Of course Kilian complains throughout about there being only one overworld theme song.

-->"No, I can't, motherfucker. I have to do the Thanksgiving. It sucks. There are so many Fahrenheidts outside!"

* EntertaininglyWrong: He concludes, upon meeting Shaun in ''VideoGame/Fallout4'', that, given that the Institute is capable of making RidiculouslyHumanRobots, they could easily have simply made a robot that looks like an older version of him. He doesn't realize he's wrong until [[UnRoboticReveal he's fired his revolver into Shaun's bleeding head.]]

*** Kilian is repulsed by Moneybags selling you prisoners of wars and stating that you can do [[SexSlave "anything you want"]] with them, stating that "He is one sick sick bear!" He later predicts that the Bear was going to eat the Prisoners if Spyro didn't free them.

*** Kilian isn't impressed with the world where wizards turned all the animals into crystals, telling the wizard "That's fucked up. You're a Monster!"

--> '''Kilian''': "[[{{Deprogram}} We can help them escape the cult]] you psychos!" *later* "I slaid the Blood Cult ... with Love!"

--> '''Kilian''': "I love the trilogy. ''VideoGame/MassEffect2'' was amazing and ''VideoGame/MassEffect3'' promised an ending we would never forget. [[EsotericHappyEnding They didn't lie!]]"
--> '''Kilian''': "Ruby has a lot of water. I wouldn't lower a review score because of it because that's stupid!" (later) "I liked Ruby, but it needs way more water! 1 out of 10 worst game ever!"

* AdaptationalNiceGuy: Silver in ''[=SoulSilver=]'' is turned into [=HrtGold=] (so named because he has a heart of gold), the friendliest trainer around, who works with Doctors Without Borders and often manages to quell Chamunda's anger and selfishness with his kind advice.

** The ''VideoGame/SmashBrosUltimate'' video quickly turns into a ''Manga/{{Dragonball}}'' reference as Kilian decides to seek out [[NamesTheSame Master Yoshi]] to learn how to defeat the level 2 Pichu bot.

* SpeedRun: Has attempted to set world records multiple times. He managed it on ''VideoGame/SuperMario64''... by freezing the game for centuries, causing him to gain the world record for ''longest'' time.

** He states that the Desert Ruins level in ''VideoGame/SpyroYearOfTheDragon'' has you become a ''VideoGame/TombRaider'' and meet another iconic UsefulNotes/PlayStation character, [[spoiler: ''VideoGame/GranTurismo'']]

** His recap of ''VideoGame/MetalGearSolid3SnakeEater'' has a brief bit where the game transitions from captured footage to camcorder footage and all the dialogue becomes Kilian complaining about how "WOW THE CONTROLS ARE STUPID." He calls this "[[LetsPlay/TheKingOfHate Necessary Reference]]."

* KnowWhenToFoldEm: Kilian argues that this is part of the reason why the dogs in Film/OneHundredAndOneDalmatians1996 were Dalmatians - if they were Rottweilers then Cruella's goons would have refused to dognap them for her out of a sense of self-preservation. Kilian also dismisses Chihuahuas as an alternative dog because then Cruella would need to kill [[UpToEleven 27,000 of them]].

** Kilian states that this trope is his biggest complaint about ''VideoGame/AssassinsCreedUnity''. The game, he claims, gives English accents to all the characters despite taking place in France. [[UpToEleven Even the French Version]], according to Kilian, uses English Accents. Kilian claimed Ubisoft Montreal did this on purpose to convince people that only French Canadians speak French.

** He plays a game of ''[[VideoGame/{{Civilization}} Civilization V]]'' on [[IdiosyncraticDifficultyLevels Deity]] with only [[KillThemAll Domination]] victory turned on as [[JokeCharacter Venice]]. [[spoiler:He loses. To [[LethalJokeCharacter Ca]][[CanadaEh na]][[GameMod da]]!]]

* AuthorAvatar: Kilian usually portrays himself as a red panda in a [[NiceHat tri-corn hat.]]

* OneSteveLimit: He renames Henry from ''VideoGame/KingdomComeDeliverance'' to Pilsner because he already made a video about a [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3gwLPBcD3Y guy named Henry]].
* OneSteveLimit: {{Averted}} with Chef Kilian, who is established to be a separate individual from Kilian Experience.

* ObligatoryWarCrimeScene: When Sylvanas orders the burning of the World Tree (which was full of civilians), and then orders the use of chemical weapons in a battle shortly afterwards, Kilian states that now they're both war-criminals.

* PoliticalCorrectnessGoneMad:

** GRONGO!, a Brachiosaurus in ''VideoGame/JurassicWorldEvolution'' who somehow managed to escape the most inescapable pen on the island and make Kilian's disastrous parks turn a profit [[ButNowIMustGo before leaving to become a Texas sheriff.]]'

** His ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1MXYDkXZAE Entire History of Music]]'' video is full of these from start to finish, but the most egrigious is when Kilian blamed World War One on Tchaikovsky. His explanation is that the use of cannons in the 1812 Overture started a trend of musicians using weapons-grade explosives until said trend reached it's logical conclusion.

--> '''Kilian''': "We need 90 people, and they all need to have dedicated their life to a sepcific instrument."

** Kilian himself is on the recieving end of this in [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M70_lvE90f0&t=159s "Which Animal Crossing Villager Is Going To Nintenhell? - ACNH meets Ace Attorney"]]. He's falsly accused of murdering Jingle, but unbenounced to the court Kilian ''ate'' Agnes for Christmas Ham and burns Kidd alive in his house as a Gävle goat.

* HaveIMentionedIAmGay: In a light jab at Dumbledore's WordOfGay and the series's recent controversies with failing to raise it above subtext, Dumbledore casually mentions in the ''Harry Potter'' video that he has a younger boyfriend in Glasgow and asks how fast his boyfriend moved on after he dies.

* KnowWhenToFoldEm: Kilian argues that this is part of the reason why the dogs in Film/OneHundredAndOneDalmatians1996 were Dalmatians - if they were Rottweilers then Cruella's goons would have refused to dognap them for her out of a sense of self-preservation. Kilian also dismisses Chihuahas as an alternative dog because then Cruella would need to kill [[UpToEleven 27,000 of them]].

* NotThatKindOfDoctor: While summorizing the Star Wars Prequels, Kilian attributes Padme's death to the fact that she was treated by an unqualifeid robot.

* TheParanoiac: In "This Is How The World Will End", he notes that if civilization was destroyed by a nuclear war then the world would be inherited by doomsday prepers and "severe paranoia would be added to the entire human gene pool".

** At one point in his ''Anime/DigimonAdventure'' retrospective, following a particularly heavy stream of ToiletHumor, he concludes that the series was intended to be a tax writeoff.

** In "This Is How The World Will End", Kilian made fun of the youtube channel Kurzgesagt as an example of GermanicDepressives.

** Melvin's favorite dish is garlic bread. He made the mistake of serving it at a banquet to a vampire lord, [[spoiler:and dies when all of the garlic farms and bread farms cease producion]].

* SeaMonster: [[TheGrimReaper Reaper]] [[YouHaveToHaveJews Leviathans]]!

* PetTheDog: Apparently Abstergo Industires is a life-saving company. As evidence, Kilian highlights a line from their wikipedia page that describe them as being "the world's largest pharmaceutical conglomerate".