History Quotes / AllNaturalSnakeOil

-->--'''''Wiki/RationalWiki''''' on the ''Daily Mail''

->With cancer, the ''Mail'' have found possibly their greatest asset in attempting to [[YouCanPanicNow scare their readers]] into doing a lot of crazy shit. Among the items claimed by the paper to cause cancer (based on "[[KnowNothingKnowItAll scientific]]" research) are mouth wash, oral sex, Pringles, Facebook and coffee. On the other hand, cures for cancer include tofu, the yellow fever vaccine, ketchup and coffee.

-->-- Blurb for ''Plan 7 of 9 from Outer Space''

-->--''Discworld/MakingMoney''

->With cancer, the ''Mail'' have found possibly their greatest asset in attempting to [[YouMayPanicNow scare their readers]] into doing a lot of crazy shit. Among the items claimed by the paper to cause cancer (based on "[[KnowNothingKnowItAll scientific]]" research) are mouth wash, oral sex, Pringles, Facebook and coffee. On the other hand, cures for cancer include tofu, the yellow fever vaccine, ketchup and coffee.

->In 2010 Null [[TooDumbToLive nearly died from overdosing on Vitamin D]] through eating his own branded “Ultimate Power Meal” twice a day. This shows that he’s not merely a fraud but actually believes his own claims, I guess. His response was to sue the company making it for him for making it [[NeverMyFault exactly in accordance with his recommendations]]. Apparently six other people were hospitalized as well. At least Null assures us that "all his other products are fine".

-->--'''''[[http://americanloons.blogspot.com/2012/02/302-gary-null.html Encyclopedia of American Loons]]'''''

->Do you know what I do want in my hair? Chemicals. That's right, I want sodium lauryl sulfate, which has been used for many decades because it is safe and effective at cleaning hair. I want emulsifiers, preservatives, and yes, a mild fragrance is nice. I do not want bamboo in my hair. I don't care if the ingredients are "natural" or not. "Natural" is a meaningless term, in this regard. Water is just as natural as cyanide (it comes from fruit!), arsenic, uranium, and Ebola for that matter. I WANT WHAT IS SAFE AND EFFECTIVE. And I don't care if it comes from a lab or a forest.

->"Miracle flowers"?? Are you a doctor or an old west traveling salesman? "Have I got something miraculous for you, ladies and gentleman: a monkey's paw mixed with five petals of a rose in a thimble full of otter semen! Guaranteed to cure your lumbago, step right up, step right up 'ere!"

->After a lifetime of eating, no words mean less to me than "all natural." A bottle of Arrowhead water claims to be 100% NATURAL* CALORIE-FREE. Why did anyone speculate that I'd think differently? Was there a conspiracy going around that their product was bottled android sweat? Outside of a hydrogen fuel cell, where does one even find unnatural water? Witch toilets? Arrowhead, are you implying that your competitors get their product from witch toilets? Because that's fucking crazy, Arrowhead.

->Gary Null is a self-proclaimed researcher, nutritionist, herbalist, and political activist. In his medical practice he starts from the commonsensical belief that nutrition is important to health and well-being, and leaves reality from there: he rejects Western medicine and its oppressive trends, such as [[ScienceIsBad treating illness with medication]]. Medicines, you see, don’t help cure the disease, only the symptoms (that goes for everything from colds to cancer). So what should you do? Well -- it’s obvious, really -- you should buy foods, herbs and woo from Gary Null...In 2010 Null [[TooDumbToLive nearly died from overdosing on Vitamin D]] through eating his own branded “Ultimate Power Meal” twice a day. This shows that he’s not merely a fraud but actually believes his own claims, I guess. His response was to sue the company making it for him for making it [[NeverMyFault exactly in accordance with his recommendations]]. Apparently six other people were hospitalized as well. At least Null assures us that "all his other products are fine".

->Oh, herbal medicine been around for thousands of years!' Indeed it has. And then we tested it all. And the stuff that worked became "''medicine"'', and the rest of it is just a nice bowl of soup and some potpourri.

->For the autism biomed quackery magazine ''The Autism File'', Adams wrote “Got [Camel] Milk”, which proposed camel milk as a treatment for autism. Her evidence of efficacy? ''“Nomads in Algeria have long said, ‘Water is the soul, milk is the life.’”'' Not convinced yet? Well, Adams also cites the endorsement of the method by one Dr. Reuven Yagil, a veteran Israeli camel expert who apparently first described the use of camel milk to treat autism...Yagil also points out that in some book about the Bible, the Koran, and the Talmud it is claimed that camel milk was given by God to cure all illnesses and poverty. And that’s pretty much as far as his evidence for the efficacy of camel milk goes. It seems to have convinced Christina Adams. It’s woo, it’s exotic, and it’s new ([[YeGoodeOldeDays and ancient at the same time]]). What more evidence would she want?\\\
Indeed, camel milk is not only good for autism; it seems, as all good woo, to be more or less a cure-all, including all sorts of infections, anemia, diabetes, allergies, autism, Crohn’s disease, asthma, erectile dysfunction, and even cancer (but [[ConspiracyTheorist Big Science]] presumably doesn’t want you to know).
-->--''The Encyclopedia of American Loons'' [[http://americanloons.blogspot.com/2015/02/1296-christina-adams.html on]] Christina Adams

->For the autism biomed quackery magazine ''The Autism File'', Adams wrote “Got [Camel] Milk”, which proposed camel milk as a treatment for autism. Her evidence of efficacy? ''“Nomads in Algeria have long said, ‘Water is the soul, milk is the life.’”'' Not convinced yet? Well, Adams also cites the endorsement of the method by one Dr. Reuven Yagil, a veteran Israeli camel expert who apparently first described the use of camel milk to treat autism...Yagil also points out that in some book about the Bible, the Koran, and the Talmud it is claimed that camel milk was given by God to cure all illnesses and poverty. And that’s pretty much as far as his evidence for the efficacy of camel milk goes. It seems to have convinced Christina Adams. It’s woo, it’s exotic, and it’s new (and ancient at the same time). What more evidence would she want?\\\

->''"Do you know what I do want in my hair? Chemicals. That's right, I want sodium lauryl sulfate, which has been used for many decades because it is safe and effective at cleaning hair. I want emulsifiers, preservatives, and yes, a mild fragrance is nice. I do not want bamboo in my hair. I don't care if the ingredients are "natural" or not. "Natural" is a meaningless term, in this regard. Water is just as natural as cyanide (it comes from fruit!), arsenic, uranium, and Ebola for that matter. I WANT WHAT IS SAFE AND EFFECTIVE. And I don't care if it comes from a lab or a forest."''

-->--''Series/LastWeekTonightWithJohnOliver'', on Series/TheDoctorOzShow

->''"Ah yes, [[KlatchianCoffee Splot]], thought Moist. It contained herbs and all-natural ingredients. But belladonna was a herb, and arsenic is natural."''
-->--''Discworld/MakingMoney''

->'''Oh, herbal medicine been around for thousands of years!' Indeed it has. And then we tested it all. And the stuff that worked became "''medicine"'', and the rest of it is just a nice bowl of soup and some potpourri.''
-->-- '''Dara O'Briain'''

->''"After a lifetime of eating, no words mean less to me than "all natural." A bottle of Arrowhead water claims to be 100% NATURAL* CALORIE-FREE. Why did anyone speculate that I'd think differently? Was there a conspiracy going around that their product was bottled android sweat? Outside of a hydrogen fuel cell, where does one even find unnatural water? Witch toilets? Arrowhead, are you implying that your competitors get their product from witch toilets? Because that's fucking crazy, Arrowhead."''
-->-- '''{{Seanbaby}}''', ''Website/{{Cracked}}'s 6 Words Advertisers Love (That Don’t Mean A Damn Thing)''

->''"The word 'natural' is completely meaningless! Everything is natural! Nature includes everything! It's not just trees and flowers! It's everything! A chemical company's toxic waste is completely natural! It's part of nature! We're all part of nature! Everything is natural! Dog shit is natural! It's just not real good food..." '' [[note]]Although to be fair, unstable isotopes and inorganic elements like ununoctium are stretching it, despite the fact that the humans who synthesize them are definitely natural.[[/note]]
-->--'''Creator/GeorgeCarlin'''

->'''Kramer''': "It's organic."\\
'''Jerry Series/{{Seinfeld}}''': "Organic? So's Creator/BuddyHackett."

'''Jerry {{Seinfeld}}''': "Organic? So's BuddyHackett."

->''"The word 'natural' is completely meaningless! Everything is natural! Nature includes everything! It's not just trees and flowers! It's everything! A chemical company's toxic waste is completely natural! It's part of nature! We're all part of nature! Everything is natural! Dog shit is natural! It's just not real good food..." '' [[hottip:* :Although to be fair, unstable isotopes and inorganic elements like ununoctium are stretching it, despite the fact that the humans who synthesize them are definitely natural.]]

-->--'''GeorgeCarlin'''

-->-- '''{{Seanbaby}}''', ''{{Cracked}}'s 6 Words Advertisers Love (That Don’t Mean A Damn Thing)''

-->''"Do you know what I do want in my hair? Chemicals. That's right, I want sodium lauryl sulfate, which has been used for many decades because it is safe and effective at cleaning hair. I want emulsifiers, preservatives, and yes, a mild fragrance is nice. I do not want bamboo in my hair. I don't care if the ingredients are "natural" or not. "Natural" is a meaningless term, in this regard. Water is just as natural as cyanide (it comes from fruit!), arsenic, uranium, and Ebola for that matter. I WANT WHAT IS SAFE AND EFFECTIVE. And I don't care if it comes from a lab or a forest."''

-->''"Ah yes, [[KlatchianCoffee Splot]], thought Moist. It contained herbs and all-natural ingredients. But belladonna was a herb, and arsenic is natural."''
-->--[[{{Discworld}} Making Money.]]

-->'''Oh, herbal medicine been around for thousands of years!' Indeed it has. And then we tested it all. And the stuff that worked became "''medicine"'', and the rest of it is just a nice bowl of soup and some potpourri.''

-->''"After a lifetime of eating, no words mean less to me than "all natural." A bottle of Arrowhead water claims to be 100% NATURAL* CALORIE-FREE. Why did anyone speculate that I'd think differently? Was there a conspiracy going around that their product was bottled android sweat? Outside of a hydrogen fuel cell, where does one even find unnatural water? Witch toilets? Arrowhead, are you implying that your competitors get their product from witch toilets? Because that's fucking crazy, Arrowhead."''

----
<<|QuotesWiki|>>

-->'''Oh, herbal medicine been around for thousands of years!' Indeed it has. And then we tested it all. And the stuff that worked became 'medicine', and the rest of it is just a nice bowl of soup and some potpourri.''

-->''"Ah yes, Splot, thought Moist. It contained herbs and all-natural ingredients. But belladonna was a herb, and arsenic is natural."''