History Main / MiserableMassage

* ''They Call Me Bruce''. Bruce has the 'flour' (actually cocaine) stolen and replaced with a bag of real flour while he's getting a massage. Naturally the fake masseuse has no idea what she's doing; she tries walking on Bruce's back and then jabbing him with an acupuncture needle, eventually knocking Bruce out which makes her task easier.

* ''They Call Me Bruce''. Bruce has the 'flour' (actually cocaine) stolen and replaced with a bag of real flour while he's getting a massage. Naturally fake masseuse has no idea what she's doing; she tries walking on Bruce's back and jabbing him with an acupuncture needle, eventually knocking Bruce out.

** In the ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'' episode "[[Recap/StarTrekVoyagerS4E7ScientificMethod The Scientific Method]]", aliens are experimenting on Captain Janeway, making her feel a bit snappish and groggy. Given that she's a notorious {{workaholic}}, the Doctor mistakes the symptoms for SleepDeprivation and gives her a vigorous back massage.

'''Janeway:''' It certainly is right now! There must be some easier way to do this, Doctor. A hypospray, maybe?\\

* In ''Manga/KaguyaSamaLoveIsWar'', one chapter has Kaguya offering to give Miyuki a hand massage because [[ItMakesSenseInContext she believes it'll keep him focused on her]][[note]]Her maid mentioned that massages stimulate the production of oxytocin and vasopressin, which could be considered "anti-affair hormones"[[/note]]. Unfortunately she's never given a massage in her life which, combined with her extensive knowledge of martial arts, results in her pressing down hard on every single pressure point in poor Miyuki's palm and leaving him (silently) screaming in pain. To make matters worse, ''Kaguya'' ends up being the one to produce the "anti-affair hormones", which puts her in a lovey-dovey mood and makes her try to keep the massage going as long as possible.

Compare HarmfulHealing and IfItTastesBadItMustBeGoodForYou. Contrast HappyEndingMassage, where the massage is not only pleasant, but sexual.

* ''Series/{{Friends}}'': In one episode, Monica gives Chandler terribly painful massages, but he's too afraid to tell her, because he doesn't want to ruin their relationship.

-->'''EMH:''' You work ''absurdly'' long hours under constant ''stress'', eating on the run, without sufficient exercise or rest. Your body is ''crying'' out for mercy.
-->''(Works his elbow into Janeway's back, which gives a SickeningCrunch)''
-->'''Janeway:''' It certainly is right now! There must be some easier way to do this, Doctor. A hypospray, maybe?
-->'''EMH:''' Always looking for the simple fix. Sometimes there's no substitute for intensive osteopathic pressure therapy. You're fortunate to have a masseur who can work all day without tiring. ''(Janeway gets OhCrap look)''

* ''WesternAnimation/DarkwingDuck'': In "[[Recap/DarkwingDuckS3E4StarCrossedCircuits Star-Crossed Circuits]]", after Darkwing has gotten fed up with the super-computer, he returns home to find Gosalyn and Honker outside, with the boy telling him he shouldn't enter. Naturally, Darkwing ignores him. The spurned D-2000 gives him a painful pre-bath massage with a rolling pin.

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* ''{{Literature/Everworld}}'': During their stay on Olympus, the cast learns that guests can opt for a massage ([[DoYouWantToCopulate along with other... services...]]), one of which is implied to be this by David.

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* ''WesternAnimation/DarkwingDuck'': In "[[Recap/DarkwingDuckS3E4StarCrossedCircuits Star-Crossed Circuits]]", after Darkwing has gotten fed up with the super-computer, he returns home to find Gosalyn and Honker outside, with the boy telling him he shouldn't enter. Naturally, Darkwing ignores him. The spurned D-2000 gives him a painful pre-bath massage with a rolling pin.

* ''WesternAnimation/ZigAndSharko'': In "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRUcXK5j_1w Nurse Marina]]", Bernie tries to massage Zig back to health after he falls out of a tree. [[DistantReactionShot His screams of pain can be heard around the island.]] Subverted when Marina gets involved: even though her sleeves make pump-action sounds as she gets ready to massage Zig, she does it gently enough that he doesn't scream.

* ''WesternAnimation/TheLooneyTunesShow'': One episode had Bugs and Daffy head out for a spa day and get some massages. Bugs gets a dainty female masseuse who's delicate and gentle. While Daff gets a gets a muscular male one who's... not so much.

** "[[Recap/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagicS8E21ARockhoofAndAHardPlace A Rockhoof and Hard Place]]": Rockhoof tries his hand at being a masseuse. but his SuperStrength works against him; Bulk Biceps is shown fleeing in agony after Rockhoof [[DoesNotKnowHisOwnStrength presses down too hard]] on his back.

* ''Series/TheGoodies''. Graham Garden tries to massage Tim Brooke-Taylor's stomach with a medicine ball and [[RuleOfFunny drops it clean through his body.]] In another episode, his stomach ends up being kneaded like dough.

* ''Series/TheGoodies''. Graham Garden tries to massage Tim Brooke-Taylor's stomach with a medicine ball and [[RuleOfFunny drops it clean through his chest.]] In another episode, his stomach ends up being kneaded like dough.

** In the ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'' episode "[[Recap/StarTrekVoyagerS4E7ScientificMethod The Scientific Method]]", aliens are experimenting on Janeway, making her feel a bit snappish and groggy. The doctor mistakes the symptoms for SleepDeprivation and massages her back, claiming that her "body is crying out in pain". Janeway, who found the massage painful, just remarks, "It is now."

* In the Franchise/StarTrekExpandedUniverse novel ''Q-in-Law'', Wesley is given a clumsy slave girl whose attempt to massage him results in a broken rib.

Contrast HappyEndingMassage, where the massage is not only pleasant, but sexual.

* ''MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'':
** In "Castle Sweet Castle", Spike, in an attempt to keep Twilight occupied while her friends make her new castle more like home to her, decides to take a "deep tissue, hot rock massage" at the Ponyville day spa. Afterwards, he is shown walking around in agony. It doesn't help that his masseuse happened to be [[DumbMuscle Bulk Biceps]].
** "A Rockhoof and Hard Place": Rockhoof tries his hand at being a masseuse. but his SuperStrength works against him; Bulk Biceps is shown fleeing in agony after Rockhoof [[DoesNotKnowHisOwnStrength presses down too hard]] on his back.

** In the ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'' episode "[[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Recap/StarTrekTheNextGenerationS3E13DejaQ Deja Q]]", Dr. Crusher administers one of these to the recently-made-human Q to relieve his back spasm which causes him to complain in-between cries of pain.

** In the ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'' episode "The Scientific Method", aliens are experimenting on Janeway, making her feel a bit snappish and groggy. The doctor mistakes the symptoms for SleepDeprivation and massages her back, claiming that her "body is crying out in pain". Janeway, who found the massage painful, just remarks, "It is now."

** In the ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'' episode ''Deja Q'', Dr. Crusher administers one of these to the recently-made-human Q to relieve his back spasm which causes him to complain in-between cries of pain.

ComedyTropes, ThisIndexIsARealPain, AlliterativeTitle
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