History Main / BaitAndSwitchComparison

* A variation from the ''Series/DoctorWho'' episode "The Doctor Dances," when Captain Jack Harkness first enters the TARDIS:
-->'''Jack Harkness''': Hmm, BiggerOnTheInside.\\

* In the Wii U version of ''VideoGame/SuperSmashBros'', when Pit does his special taunt against Kirby on Palutena's Temple:

* ''VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft'': In the five-man dungeon The Iron Docks there is the following exchange between the two main [=NPCs=], Captain Koromar and Lieutenant Zoggosh, as your party approaches the penultimate boss fight in the dungeon:

'''Olaf:''' Oh, they're - oh, OK, makes things easier for me.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Frozen|2013}}''

* A picture going around, around the time of ''Comicbook/CivilWar'', featuring a fight between Comicbook/IronMan and [[Characters/MarvelComicsDoctorDoom Doctor Doom]], summed it thus: ''"One is a fascist with a twisted code of honor in a suit of armor. The other is Dr. Doom."''
* In ''Comicbook/{{Irredeemable}}'', Modeus has managed to obtain [[spoiler:the comatose Scylla. While thinking about Charybdis (now called Survivor) and Scylla, he notes, "[O]ne is a brain-dead moron. The other stands before me."]]

-->'''Human Torch''': It's horrible! Make it invisible! Make it invisible!\\
'''Invisible Woman''': Then how's [[Characters/TheThing Ben]] supposed to hit it?\\
'''Human Torch''': I was ''talking'' about Ben.\\
'''Thing''': Why you little... wait, [[ActuallyPrettyFunny that was a good one]].
* In the novelization of ''ComicBook/BatmanNoMansLand'', Creator/GregRucka has one go through [[Characters/BatmanTheJoker The Joker]]'s head referring to [[Characters/BatmanTwoFace Harvey Dent/Two-Face]], describing how Harvey had been hit with acid that made one half of his face completely repulsive to look at. One half of his face has wispy white hair and is blistered and discolored in a permanent angry scowl, and the repulsive half being Harvey's untouched side.
-->"Frankly, it made Joker's bowels rumble."
* Used as a comeback by Alex "Spaceman" Glushko (a telepathic cop) against Larry "Frenzy" Fischmann (a shark in human form and lawyer) in ''ComicBook/TopTen'':
-->'''Glushko''': That's pretty rich coming from a predatory species that hasn't evolved in millions of years.\\
'''Fischmann''': Of '''course''' we've evolved! That is one of the '''many''' uninformed misconceptions people have about sharks.\\
'''Glushko''': [[EvilLawyerJoke I wasn't talking about sharks.]]

* In a ''[[Comicstrip/DennisTheMenaceUK Go, Granny, Go]]'' strip, where Granny takes her car out, a pair of elderly gentlemen pass approving comments.
-->'''Man 1''': Beautiful chassis.\\
'''Man 2''': Lovely body.\\
'''Man 1''': And the car isn't bad, either.

-->'''Leia''': You heard the general. There's much to be done. Let's see how much of it involves a hairy beast and his copilot.\\
'''Han''': Hey, ''he's'' [referring to Chewbacca] the copilot.\\
'''Leia''': I know.

[[folder:Fanfiction]]

[[folder:Films—Live-Action]]

* In ''Film/{{Casanova}}'', Francesca Bruni sets a trap for Casanova by inserting a line in a Bernardo Guardi pamphlet about how a pig is the best pet for a man who actually respects women. When Casanova promptly shows up at Francesca's house with a pig, the maid meets him at the door, and says:
-->"My mistress says the pig may not come in. The animal, however, she'll take." [''Takes the pig, and slams the door.'']

-->"In the Spring of 2017 two American women were abducted fifty kilometers outside Puerto Cayo, Ecuador. What followed was a tale of violence, mayhem, and a reckless disregard for human life. The kidnappers did bad stuff, too."

* In ''Magazine/{{MAD}}'''s ''Film/{{Constantine}}'' parody, Constantine tells his love interest, a cop, that a romance between them would never work out. It goes something like: "We come from different worlds! One is full of sin and corruption, and in the other, I'm busy fighting Satan!"

-->You and I are kinda like Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet\\in that I'm romantic and sweet and you're [[AlternativeCharacterInterpretation an immature loser with friends who are unreasonably violent]]
-->You and I are kinda like [[Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer Spike and Buffy]]\\in that you have a terrible accent and my house is full of weapons!

* In ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes'', Calvin and Susie Derkins are cast in a school play in which the students play different body parts and nutrients. Calvin asks Susie what she is, and she answers, "I'm ‘Fat.'" He replies, "No, I meant in the play." The next panel shows a thoroughly trounced Calvin while [[BewareTheNiceOnes Susie asks if anyone else wants to try that one.]]

* Steve Bell's ''ComicStrip/{{If}}'' does this a lot. In the early 1980s a father is explaining to his son about why [[UsefulNotes/RonaldReagan Reagan]] and [[UsefulNotes/MargaretThatcher Thatcher]] are right about the Evil Empire. He explains that in Poland, the police are used to hammer down dissidents and suppress free criticism of the regime. Workers cannot go on strike without the forces of the State being used to oppress them. Freedom of travel within your own country is taken away. The Great Leader must be revered as being a living God whose word must be obeyed and the Press becomes the Leader's PropagandaMachine. Meanwhile, the son is looking around him, at the Miners' Strike (the backdrop for these events), notices an adoring ''[[UsefulNotes/BritishNewspapers Daily Mail]]'' headline showing Margaret Thatcher, and asks "So we live in Poland, then?"

-->'''Jon:''' I took Garfield to the vet to get declawed. They're going to remove his stitches on Thursday.
-->'''Lyman:''' Poor Garfield.
-->'''Jon:''' Who's talking about Garfield?

'''Shaun''': Well, that footage was from before the election, [[{{Corpsing}} and I do have to say that Mr. Abbott was a little difficult to understand]], even back then.

* A picture going around, around the time of ''Comicbook/CivilWar'', featuring a fight between Comicbook/IronMan and Characters/DoctorDoom, summed it thus: ''"One is a fascist with a twisted code of honor in a suit of armor. The other is Dr. Doom."''

'''Invisible Woman''': Then how's Ben [referring to The Thing] supposed to hit it?\\

** The [[http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/Battlefield_Earth_2000.aspx recap]] of ''Film/BattlefieldEarth'' begins with a cast review, including:

** And again in the ''Film/SupermanIVTheQuestForPeace'' [[http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/Superman_IV__The_Quest_for_Peace_1987.aspx recap]]:

** During his review of the ''Series/HannahMontana'' movie, he comments on a scuffle in a shoestore between Hannah and Tyra Banks:

-->'''Narrator''': InAWorld full of crime, one man is determined to kill Franchise/{{Batman}} once and for all. [''Montage of Mr. Freeze clips''] His name... is director Creator/JoelSchumacher.

--> [Maximus] seeks revenge on the off-putting weirdo Joaquin Phoenix, who in this movie plays the off-putting weirdo Commodus.

--> "I like to compare Hinder playing at a funeral to knowingly inviting a pedophile to a children's birthday party. One makes you realize how much of a mistake it was...and the other is inviting the pedophile to the birthday party."

-->'''Peter''': We don't need Diane Simmons. We've had someone better all along. [''Puts his arm around Loretta's shoulders.''] Someone radiant and {{sassy|BlackWoman}}, with the soul and passion that can only come from hundreds of years of black oppression.\\

-->'''West:''' We don't want you in our town, Simpson! We don't love you like we did in 1993!\\

-->'''Hermes''': He's no worse than Bender.\\

-->'''Pinky''': That night I witnessed the greatest performance I've ever seen in a theater. Then I watched Brain do his show.

* ''WesternAnimation/BackAtTheBarnyard'': In "Dummy and Dummier", Otis makes a ventriloquist dummy named for Freddy to use at the barnyard talent show. He uses the wood from a tree that a colony termites were living in to make Mr. Jinks, and as retribution, the termites control Mr. Jinks. They start by insulting Freddy's friends and framing Freddy. One of the insults they give is "Why did the tubby, disgusting loser cross the road? To get away from Pig!"

* In ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'' when Peter talks about finding a replacement actor to play Anna in ''Theatre/TheKingAndI''.

:: It should be noted that this was before Peter knew he had a black ancestor.

'''Han''' Hey, ''he's'' [referring to Chewbacca] the copilot.\\

* ''Webcomic/IrregularWebcomic'' has the following exchange after Lambert describes his encounter with a Gollum-{{Expy}}

* In Toby Hadoke's show ''Moths Ate My ''Series/DoctorWho'' Scarf'', he compares Music/GirlsAloud to the Autons, saying one is a group of manufactured plastic people, and the other... The ''Tardis Eruditorum'' guest post "[[http://www.eruditorumpress.com/blog/guest-post-moths-ate-my-girls-aloud-cd/ Moths Ate My Girls Aloud CD]]," about both Hadoke's show and the more Girls Aloud-friendly comic book ''Comicbook/{{Phonogram}}'', riffs on this, saying "one is a comic taking an adult perspective on the someone from the middle of nowhere in the West Midlands' teenage obsession, whereas the other..."

** Imagining a confrontation between notorious drug kingpin Joaquín "El Chapo" Guzmán and Speaker of the House of Representatives John Boehner[[note]]both were named to a list of the year's "most influential" people[[/note]]:

-->''"What's the difference between Clifford and a pit bull? One will tear your heart out, scare your friends, and wreck your house. The other one is a dog.''

-->''"What's the difference between Literature/{{Clifford|TheBigRedDog}} and a pit bull? One will tear your heart out, scare your friends, and wreck your house.\\
The other one is a dog.''

''WesternAnimation/BackAtTheBarnyard'': In "Dummy and Dummier", Otis makes a ventriloquist dummy named for Freddy to use at the barnyard talent show. He uses the wood from a tree that a colony termites were living in to make Mr. Jinks, and as retribution, the termites control Mr. Jinks. They start by insulting Freddy's friends and framing Freddy. One of the insults they give is "Why did the tubby, disgusting loser cross the road? To get away from Pig!"

** Similarly: What's the difference between Wyoming and {{Mordor}}? One is a vast, merciless wasteland in the shadow of a [[Film/{{Supervolcano}} giant volcano]], where the locals walk around armed to the teeth... and the other is full of orcs.

* ''VideoGame/FallenLondon'' has a pretty subtle one with the [[BombThrowingAnarchists Anarchists]]:

** The joke being that a "dynamite faction" was a term for an energized, politically active, powerful political group used in the late 1800s (when the game takes place). The switch is that they aren't united enough to be a genuine dynamite faction and are called that [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin because they use a lot of dynamite]].

* ''Webcomic/DominicDeegan'':

** Making this really interesting, Donovan, who made the joke, is himself a Callanian. He was trying to win over an extremely anti-Callanian Orc Chief holding him captive. ''It worked.''

* ''Website/TheAgonyBooth'''s [[http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/Battlefield_Earth_2000.aspx recap]] of ''Film/BattlefieldEarth'' begins with a cast review, including:

* Inverted in the ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'' episode "The Lesser of Two Evils," which introduced Bender's IdenticalStranger Flexo:

* ''WesternAnimation/PinkyAndTheBrain'' episode "Your Friend: Global Domination": "This is the earth. And this is Pinky. You can tell the difference quite easily. One is a lump of inert matter hurtling blindly through the void. The other... is the earth."

* A ''Franchise/KingdomHearts'' {{fanfic}} has [[DeadpanSnarker Even]] saying of [[CrackShip Ansem and Eraqus]], "...they're perfect for each other. One's a facist, single minded zealot and the other's a blond."

-->This is the fiasco over the national football stadium at Wembley. The FAA are considering relocating the national stadium to a large site just outside Birmingham. Although it is currently little more than a rubble-strewn wasteland, Birmingham is in fact England's second biggest city.

* A picture going around, around the time of ''Comicbook/CivilWar'', featuring a fight between Comicbook/IronMan and [[Characters/MarvelComicsDoctorDoom Dr. Doom]], summed it thus: ''"One is a fascist with a twisted code of honor in a suit of armor. The other is Dr. Doom."''

* In the novelization of ''ComicBook/BatmanNoMansLand'', Creator/GregRucka has one go through ComicBook/TheJoker's head referring to Harvey Dent[=/=]ComicBook/TwoFace, describing how Harvey had been hit with acid that made one half of his face completely repulsive to look at. One half of his face has wispy white hair and is blistered and discolored in a permanent angry scowl, and the repulsive half being Harvey's untouched side.

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* From the ''WesternAnimation/DanVs'' episode "The Wolf-Man":
-->'''Dan''': What wears shoes, but also has paws? The wolf-man!\\
'''Chris''': So you're saying that the wolf-man's a jogger.\\
'''Dan''': He's an evil beast with an unsavory bloodlust. Of course he jogs!
* In ''[[WesternAnimation/DragonsRidersOfBerk Dragons: Race to the Edge]]'', there's an example of a ''double'' bait-and-switch in a comparison: Snotlout looks toward Stoick (riding his dragon, Skullcrusher) and the aggressive Singetail behind him and remarks that he doesn't know which is worse: "that fire-breathing maniac or his dragon!"
* ''WesternAnimation/DrZitbagsTransylvaniaPetShop'' used this in the episode "Orang-utans & Lemmings" when the Exorsisters talked about Dr. Sidney Zitbag and his undead rabbit companion Zombunny. They state that one of them is a moron who spends all his time in a zombified trance...and the other is Zombunny.
* In ''WesternAnimation/DuckTales2017'' when Donald Duck left Huey Dewey and Louie with Scrooge he warned, "Remember, no tricks, no lies, no trouble."
-->'''Huey Dewey and Louie:''' Yes, Uncle Donald.
-->'''Donald Duck:''' I wasn't talking to you!
* Used in ''WesternAnimation/TheFairlyOddParents'' episode with Sparky's introduction, Jorgen, who works at the Fairyworld Pet Store where they find Sparky says "You don't want that one. He's not too bright". Timmy says that's not a nice thing to say about Sparky, but Jorgen says he was warning Sparky about Timmy. Then when they're leaving, Jorgen calls out "Good luck with the moron!" to which Timmy says "Thanks!". After they poof away, Jorgen comments "Once again, talking to the dog".
* In ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'' when Peter talks about finding a replacement actor to play Anna in ''Theatre/TheKingAndI''.
-->'''Peter''': We don't need Diane Simmons. We've had someone better all along. [''Puts his arm around Loretta's shoulders.''] Someone radiant and {{sassy|BlackWoman}}, with the soul and passion that can only come from hundreds of years of black oppression.\\
'''Loretta''': Thank you, Peter. I'll do it.\\
'''Peter''': Get over yourself. I was talking about me.
:: It should be noted that this was before Peter knew he had a black ancestor.
* Inverted in the ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'' episode "The Lesser of Two Evils," which introduced Bender's IdenticalStranger Flexo:
-->'''Hermes''': He's no worse than Bender.\\
'''Fry''': He's much worse! He drinks and smokes, and he posts naked pictures of me on the Internet!\\
'''Amy''': That's Bender all right.\\
'''Fry''': I'm talking about Flexo!
** Used again in "A Tale of Two Santas," after [[BadSanta Santa]] asks Bender to help him [[SavingChristmas "save" Xmas]]:
--->'''Fry''': Don't do it! He's evil!\\
'''Santa''': I know he is, but I have no choice.
** Also happened when Bender finds his girlfriend Angleyne having dinner with Flexo.
--->'''Bender''': You degenerate hussy! I'm disappointed in you too, Angleyne.
** Also used in "A Head in the Polls" when it's revealed that UsefulNotes/RichardNixon [[ItMakesSenseInContext bought Bender's body which he pawned]].
--->'''Bender''': Why, that backstabbing traitor! How dare he run off with Richard Nixon?!
* ''WesternAnimation/PinkyAndTheBrain'' episode "Your Friend: Global Domination": "This is the earth. And this is Pinky. You can tell the difference quite easily. One is a lump of inert matter hurtling blindly through the void. The other... is the earth."
** And again when Brain creates a sentient carrot and tells him and Pinky, "You two are the perfect team: a vegetable and a carrot."
** Pinky gets a few in himself, this one particularly from the episode "Broadway Malady":
-->'''Pinky''': That night I witnessed the greatest performance I've ever seen in a theater. Then I watched Brain do his show.
* ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'':
** In "El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer)," when Homer questions whether Marge is truly his soulmate because of their personality differences:
--->'''Homer''': We don't have anything in common. Look at these records: Jim Nabors, Glen Campbell, the Doodletown Pipers. Now look at her records! They stink!
** Also in "Natural Born Kissers," when Homer is dangling from a hot air balloon and holding on for dear life:
--->'''Sideshow Mel''': Good Lord, look at that blimp! He's hanging from a balloon!
** Another example, when Ned Flanders and Edna Krabappel are dating and they knock on the Simpsons' door:
--->'''Homer''': Well, if it isn't the town schoolmarm... and he brought his girlfriend.
** When Homer and Marge are drinking in Wine country.
--->'''Homer''': Pleasant aroma, rich, full-body, well aged and the wine's not bad either.
** Homer even manages to do a variation where he doubles the punchline.
--->'''Homer''': Boy, when Marge first told me she was going to the police academy, I thought it'd be fun and exciting, you know, like that movie... ''Film/{{Spaceballs}}''. But instead it's been painful and disturbing, like that movie ''Film/PoliceAcademy''.
* In the ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'' episode "Chatterbox Gary", [=SpongeBob=] gets Gary a collar that allows him to talk to people. When he shows it to Squidward:
--> '''Squidward:''' ''Why'' would you wanna talk to ''him''?
--> '''[=SpongeBob=]:''' Who wouldn't wanna talk to their pet?
--> '''Squidward:''' I was talking to Gary.
* ''WesternAnimation/TotalDrama'':
** Duncan is asked why he picks on Harold so badly in "[[Recap/TotalDrama310ToCrazytown 3:10 to Crazytown]]" and gives his answer in the confessional. Rather than outright say it, he opens with the hint that "she's about ye tall, has beautiful brown hair, and could tear you limb from limb." A shot later, he specifies that he's not talking about a bear, but about his girlfriend Courtney, whom Harold got eliminated the previous season.
** In "[[Recap/TotalDrama2008ASpaceOwen 2008: A Space Owen]]", Courtney asks Duncan for his pillow when she loses hers. He has to tell her no because he already has his pillow in use to keep his pet tarantula safe. Courtney airs her annoyance over Duncan picking Scruffy over her in the confessional, slyly noting that she hates that gross hairy creature and his pet spider too.
** For the animal buddy movie challenge in "[[Recap/TotalDramaTopDog Top Dog]]", the contestants have to select an animal to train to reflect their personality. Courtney immediately calls dibs on the shark. This prompts Beth to enter the confessional and acknowledge that the two are a good match, because the only difference is that one would eat you alive in a heartbeat and the other's a shark.
** Heather is one of the judges of the fashion show in "[[Recap/TotalDramaCantHelpFallingInLouvre Can't Help Falling in Louvre]]". Her nemesis Gwen is one of the models and she happens to get dressed by DJ, who wants to lose. As such, he gives her his shirt and cap, which are ridiculously oversized for her, and shoves her on the catwalk. When it's time to judge, Heather seizes the opportunity to make a scathing verdict: "Dry, dull, uninspiring, not a hint of effort with the presentation. But enough about Gwen, the shirt was a 10!"
* In the ''WesternAnimation/ToxicCrusaders'' episode "Toxie Ties the Knot", Mayor Grody hears about Toxie being coerced into marrying the Smogulan princess Gerba to prevent the Smogulans from dumping trash all over Tromaville. He tells his secretary that Toxie's going to marry an overweight cockroach, causing her to reply that this occurrence is gross. Mayor Grody then remarks "Yeah, you'd think a cockroach would have better tastes".
[[/folder]]

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHBAzF1x6_I A variant]] from ''Series/ShaunMicallefsMadAsHell'': Shaun brings up a report stating that [[UsefulNotes/AustralianPolitics Tony Abbott]] has been speaking 100 words a minute slower than before the last election, and comparing his speech to that of a puppet.

** For the record, she chooses him.

* At the conclusion of [[http://www.drunkduck.com/The_Gods_of_ArrKelaan/5227986/ "Tankard of Trouble"]] in ''Webcomic/TheGodsOfArrKelaan'', [[http://www.drunkduck.com/The_Gods_of_ArrKelaan/5227997/ Ronson makes such a comparison]].

--->'''Nuclear Man''' (Mark Pillow). The greatest villain Franchise/{{Superman}} has ever faced, and a terrifying being with immense powers to make the entire world tremble. Which is how I would describe ComicBook/{{Darkseid}}. Meanwhile, here's Nuclear Man! The most retarded supervillain ever! And by that, I mean he is ''literally retarded''.

* In his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRwB-C_hXqY Top 15 Worst Heroes Becoming Villains]] list, in the section about ComicBook/SuperboyPrime, [[WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall Linkara]] shows us a picture of a young Clark Kent, and goes "Stop me if you've heard this one before":
-->'''Linkara''': A young man grows up on earth, surrounded by stories of Franchise/{{Superman}}, to the point where he's even [[NamesTheSame named]] Clark Kent, only to discover that he himself is Superman. ''But'' (image zooms out to show it's the cover of Creator/KurtBusiek's awesome miniseries, ''ComicBook/SupermanSecretIdentity'') enough about Kurt Busiek's awesome miniseries, ''Superman: Secret Identity''. Instead, let's talk about [[StrawFan Superboy-Prime]].

[[folder:Facebook Postings]]
* One meme had a picture of Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott next to one of Joffrey from ''Series/GameOfThrones'' pointing out that one of them was an evil, out-of-touch, elitist dictator — and the other was a TV actor.
* In response to an article [[http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/early-lead/wp/2015/06/17/poll-voters-would-rather-see-real-jurassic-park-than-2024-olympics-in-boston/ saying that]] residents of {{UsefulNotes/Boston}} would rather have a real life version of ''Film/JurassicPark'' than the 2024 Olympics:
-->"One involves people arrogantly unleashing an ancient power onto a world unprepared for it and creating chaos in its wake while the other involves dinosaurs."
* The "Being Liberal" Facebook page featured [[http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/north-korea-ready-for-war-donald-trump-united-states-america-kim-jong-un-a7641276.html/ an article]] about President UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump threatening UsefulNotes/NorthKorea with nuclear war, and North Korea responding that they were ready for war with the USA, with the caption "Our thoughts and prayers tonight are with everyone dealing with a narcissistic, mentally unstable leader, putting their country in grave danger. And North Korea, too."

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Jokes]]
* There's an amusing poster showing Creator/AlanMoore side by side with Rasputin. One is a terrifying mystic, etc., etc., etc. The other, of course, is Rasputin.
* A common joke variant:
** [[EvilLawyerJoke "What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? Well, one's a slimy, scum-sucking bottom-feeder, and the other's delicious dipped in batter and deep fried."]]
** "You know the difference between a seagull and YourMom? One of them communicates in annoying high-pitched shrieks, steals food from the trash and spreads disease. The other is a bird."
** "'''Homo homini lupus''' (The man is a wolf unto man) is thoroughly offensive. It shows poor taste to compare a ruthless and ignoble beast to an intelligent, compassionate and social creature with such beautiful golden eyes and silvery mane."
** "What's the difference between an [[DumbBlonde Essex girl]] and a walrus? One has whiskers and smells of fish, and the other's a walrus."
** "What's the difference between an orangutan and a male human? One is hairy, dirty, constantly scratches, stinks... the other is an orangutan."
** "MS stands for two things: multiple sclerosis, and Microsoft. One's a crippling affliction that leaves the victim unable to perform even the most basic tasks. The other's a medical condition."
** "Stop comparing Creator/ClintEastwood to {{God}}. I mean, he's a great guy, but he's no Clint Eastwood."
* Two men get stuck in a snowstorm in the mountains. As they await their rescue, one man sees a [[SaintBernardRescue St. Bernard with a barrel hanging from its neck]] coming towards them. He nudges his companion and says, "Look, a man's best friend." "Yeah, and look what a big dog brought it."
* One from several years ago (although you could substitute your politician of choice and make it current): "What's the difference between [[Literature/HarryPotter Lord Voldemort]] and George Bush? One's an entitled tyrannical dictator bent on taking over the world — and the other's a fictional character."
* Attributed to [[Creator/MarxBrothers Groucho Marx]]: "I like books. I like Literature/LittleWomen. In fact, I like them better than books."
* "Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other person is [[TheUnfairSex a husband]]."
* A woman is lying in bed when her husband enters the room carrying a sheep under his arm.
-->'''Man''': This is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache.\\
'''Woman''': That's a sheep, idiot.\\
'''Man''': I wasn't talking to you.
* A fairly popular one in joke websites: The Pope needed to reach a church to attend an important religious celebration, but he was late. He scolded the limousine's driver for not traveling fast enough, so they hastily switched positions. The speed the Pope was driving with broke the speedometer of a cop who was watching over a road, so the cop stopped them. But when he saw ''who'' was driving, and was told by ''that'' driver that ''he'' was in a hurry and there was no time to lose, the cop obediently spared them and let them continue the trip. A fellow policeman who was driving nearby saw the whole thing and asked his colleague:
-->'''Policeman #2:''' Why did you let them go unpunished?\\
'''Policeman #1:''' Because an extraordinarily, unprecedentedly and super-legendarily important man was in that vehicle. And he was in a hurry!\\
'''Policeman #2:''' Who?\\
'''Policeman #1:''' No idea, but let this sink in: THE CHAUFFEUR WAS THE POPE!!
* In August 2012, preparations were being made for the Republican National Convention in Tampa, Florida, just as Hurricane Isaac was forecast to hit the area. One joke that went viral was "A storm is headed for Tampa that threatens to leave families suffering, the poor searching for help, and lives destroyed. And then there's Isaac."
* "What's the difference between IBM and ''Film/JurassicPark''? One of them is filled with massive, lumbering behemoths irrelevant to the modern age, and the other one is a movie."[[note]]Or [[Literature/JurassicPark a novel]], though [[AdaptationDisplacement the movie based on it has supplanted the book in public imagination]].[[/note]] That particular joke lost a lot of its sting after their machine Watson rather soundly crushed the two all-time biggest ''Series/{{Jeopardy}}'' winners in the show's history.
* What's the difference between USA and USB? One [[BigBrotherIsWatching connects to all your devices and accesses your data]], and the other is a hardware standard.
* Creator/JohnRogers once said on [[http://kfmonkey.blogspot.com/2009/03/ephemera-2009-7.html his blog]], "There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: ''Literature/TheLordOfTheRings'' and ''Literature/AtlasShrugged''. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs."
** Similarly: What's the difference between Wyoming and {{Mordor}}? One is a vast, merciless wasteland in the shadow of a [[Film/{{Supervolcano}} giant volcano]], where the locals walk around armed to the teeth... and the other is full of orcs.
* RussianHumour: "Throughout its history, Russia has had two main problems: road infrastructure and incompetent idiots. Now, one of those can be easily fixed with a steamroller, but the roads situation is a ''lot'' trickier..."
[[/folder]]

* ''Film/ErnestGoesToJail'': A rare self-depreciating example. After being threatened to remain quiet about the [[TwinSwitch switch]] with his EvilTwin, Ernest replies: "Real men are not intimidated by physical threats against their personal selves, and, ironically, neither am I."