Your group's jokes.

• "I do X... without checking for traps." Because one of our guys was getting seriously pissed when we robbed a cult of Tharizdun... and we got no loot, so he started just opening chests and doors at random, setting off every trap in the place. Apparently they were ascetics, but it turns out that portraits of high priests of evil gods are pretty valuable to the city guards.
• "Just use the llamas." The DM stated we had to use all our starting gold. I pointed out that llamas were only 50 gp a piece according to the Arms and Equipment Guide and that I was just going to buy llamas to fill out my GP costs. This turned out to give me thousands of llamas, which we used as trap sweepers. Hilarity ensued when I got an item that let me do psionic fusion at-will and created LLAMA VOLTRON.
• "Plot? PLOT? PLOT PLOT PLOT!" (said like the seagulls from Finding Nemo.) Because when you've got a party composed mostly of loonies, the crazy tends to rack up and we'll look for any semblance of order.

Did I already mention my shitty luck with dice?

Seriously. Blue Oni, Artoo and Ryu, my usual group, witnessed rolls that couldn't be fucked up, fucked up by me. And so they started joking about it.

And we pretty much assumed that Ryu, whatever he's playing, is usually Crazy Awesome.

Most of my D&D group's running gags center around ridiculous things we found while building our characters. There's a running joke that my character spent all his pre-adventure money on a portable ram and 40 pigs, so variations on "Drake, use your portable ram to solve this problem" are frequent.

Similarly, the group decided against any homebrew stuff after discovering a spell called Transfer Pregnancy that caused the DM to bluescreen - asking what possible campaign you could possibly be playing in that you would ever use such a thing in. A couple sessions into the game, my character discovered a potion and tried to identify it. After rolling a 1 on my Spellcraft check, the DM informed me, "You are absolutely certain that this is a Potion of Transfer Pregnancy." I've had the Transfer Pregnancy potion in my inventory ever since.

I'm in a campaign where one PC is engaged to a half-elf, in a setting where half-elves are sterile.

There's also a character whose womb was F'd up by an anti-healing sword, who wants to be a mother.

Transfer Pregnancy would be a very useful spell.

Within two sessions of the Fate game I'm G Ming it became a running joke that the team's detective spends most of his work hours hitting on Mafia widows.

Years ago, when I used to be part of a D&D group, there was a joke when someone rolled poorly on a Spot check, "You see bread."

One person from that group is now the DM of my current group. The joke was revived when we were rolling listen checks at a door. "You, you, and you hear scrabbling on the other side of the door, like small, clawed footsteps on solid stone; you, on the other hand, hear bread."

Not to mention more than a few people who would rather have the xenomorph explode in someone ELSE'S chest,

That bit about "I cast cure on the vampire" reminds me of something that happened in one of my group's games. We were fighting a vampire, and I was playing a bard. At one point, I declared, "I slap her in the face."

There was a brief pause.

"With Cure Moderate Wounds." [[note:It's a touch spell.]]

Actually worked pretty well.

I've nicknamed Searing Light "pew pew" because of how often my cleric in my current session slings it around when she's done buffing or healing.

Our group was in Jurassic Park (Crossover Campaign, btw). We arrived at the electric fence. Our Alchemist, who could fly, flew over said electric fence. We began to follow the electric fence to find the gate all the while the alchemist mocking us. Soon karma bit him in the ass, HARD. He was attacked by a pack of velociraptors, and when he died he exploded due to all the chemicals on him.

Later in the campaign, we were in a video game dimension. The alchemist player was now playing some sort of half demon guy. After defeating Bowser, we were transported to an empty racing track. We then heard the sound of F-Zero cars coming at us. We all ducked, except for the half demon. The half demon jumped in the air and got hit by one the cars, dying on impact. I then blurted out, "The racer was actually a velociraptor!" The DM agreed to this.

From then on, whenever this player died, a velociraptor would come in and kill steal. He would come in from anywhere. Zombie apocalypse city? The velociraptor was a helicopter pilot. The deep reaches of space? The velociraptor was just so happening to be flying around in space, perfectly content without air. HE WAS EVERYWHERE

It got to the point where in my friend's new prison campaign, the alchemist's cell mate is a velociraptor named Mr. V. He has a top hat, bow tie, and sounds like Christopher Walken. Why? Why not?

Mr. V reminds me a lot of Sir Bearington, a D&D 3.5 character that is sort of a legendary figure among the geeks around here, and he's a great example of how broken bluff can be. Sir Bearington was, if you couldn't guess by the name, a bear. Not an anthropomorphic bear, or a bear-folk, or anything like that. Just a bear who happened to be sentient. As a bear, he obviously couldn't talk, although he could obviously growl and gesture, and he had a butler who would "translate" for him.

However, where it gets interesting is that Sir Bearington had an amazing bluff skill, and convinced people that he was human. Not a human polymorphed into a bear (because that would be too believable) but straight up human. Everyone bought it. They bought it enough that he was able to get knighted (hence the "Sir"), and he was invited to several formal parties. It was at one of these parties that the unthinkable happened. Someone saw through his disguise. Naturally, he exclaimed in shock, "Everyone! Sir Bearington is actually a bear!"

However, even with this bonus to see through Sir Bearington's disguise, no one else discovered the deception. The queen even personally apologized for the "accusations of this madman," and the accuser was obviously hauled away by guards.

We've got a couple in my Dark Heresy/Rogue Trader/Deathwatch group. For starters, there's Dovahpsyker, who flies around on his Viking Ship Segue, the Skyrim theme following him everywhere. Has a tendency to come up out of nowhere, possibly voip somebody with his Warp Lightning, then flies off.

Similarly, whenever we aren't playing Deathwatch, there's the fact that one of our Space Marines from Deathwatch will tend to cameo by running around chasing a Xeno while yelling "FUKKEN XENOS!", which happens to be his catchphrase. We explain it as him having found a mini-Teleportarium and him enjoying taking it out for a spin.

There's also the idea that whenever a player goes AFK, their character suddenly comes down with a case of wall-eyed. Our Psyker in Dark Heresy tends to just fold into his hat whenever he goes Wall-eyed.

Thanks to a flamboyant Hispanic man in one of our Orpheus sessions, we accidentally created our own fast food franchise, the Flaming Taco. Nine locations throughout Orpheus City to serve you!

The Flaming Taco sounds like your girlfriend just came down with an STD ...

Must remember that one for the next session...

Chicken Boo, what's the matter with you...

My DM never refers to my character by her real name ( Cedar Aspen) he calls her Cedar Rose, Cedar Tree, Cedar Bush, Cedar Pine, etc. It's funny.

whenever we crit, he makes up some defying physics story for what happened, leading to our group moto- critting so hard we break physics

all NP Cs witth long names are renamed Phil. all of them.

A long time ago, in a very Starship Troopers -esque game, we had a joke about Fate points. Whenever one of us spent one to avoid a mortal wound, the DM declared that a fluffy bunny jumped right in the shot's path, taking the wound instead of us.

Since we had to use about a dozen Fate points to pass through the first hot point, we were probably very lucky to battle on a planet so full of fluffy bunnies!

In any of the FFG's 40k games, any roll on the psychic phenomena and (especially) on the perils of the warp table will be accompanied by humming the Wheel of Fortune theme. Started by me asking "who wants to roll the wheel of misfortune?" at one point when we got phenomena while I was G Ming. Since then, the roll is usually done by one of the players, typically the one who first speaks up when the GM asks who who wants to roll phenomena.

My characters with my new real life roleplaying group have a tendency to be Papa Wolf types. Which has led to the joke of any character I make "adopting" any of the following: party members, allied NP Cs, natural animals, weapons.

Also, it isn't helped that the party's name in one game is "Sons of Justice" when my character already has a particularly large war maul named Justice.

Well, I've got a few that started from my brother's Pathfinder game.

• "I wrestled a bear!" "He wrestled a bear." The group's first encounter was with a wild bear. At the time, it was just me and my brother's friend. He played an oddly charismatic warrior with a sense of vigilantism. His first combat action? Grapple the bear. He succeeded his roll and the subsequent roll to put it in an arm lock. The bear was failing its rolls and my character was busy slashing its stomach open. When combat ended, we skinned the bear and later went to get the hide tanned so our warrior could have a bear mantle. Our introductions from then on out included the above boast.

• "That's racist!" Since I was playing a Tengu, there were naturally quite a bit of remarks made about me. When someone in the group said something inaccurate or insulting about my race, I'd reply with this. It became an instant hit with the others.

• Mahogany. This was also started by me. I insisted at one point that the chest I was breaking into was made out of mahogany, mostly due to my ignorance about hardwood. This joke is a little odd in that you have to pronounce it a bit weirdly. It's kind of something you have to hear to understand.

• Goat Throwing. Another one caused by me. At one point, we got ourselves a ship. I decided to purchase a goat for the purpose of training it to guard the ship. It didn't work. Part of my problem with this was my lack of points in Handle Animal and the other being that I decided to train it at my work station, which was the Crow's Nest. Naturally, the goat didn't work out and almost knocked a few of our sailors overboard. When we were (naturally) attacked by a ship of pirate kobolds, we opened fire on them with our Gatling Guns. Since I was still up in the Crow's Nest and I wanted to contribute to the combat, I picked up the goat and threw it at the ship. The goat hit three kobolds and died on impact. Later, when the ship's insanely invincible captain bested us in combat, I asked for the goat's body back so we could cook it. He casually tossed it at me and knocked us both overboard.

• The Hat of True Direction. After we shot the captain with the Gatling Guns, tied him to a cannon, and tossed him overboard, we ransacked the place. One of the items we got was a hat with an enchantment. The enchantment was for the wearer to instantly know where north is. The ridiculously situational purpose of the hat was mocked and we ended up joking that it also forces the user to point north with one arm endlessly until its removed.

edited 7th Nov '13 6:33:45 AM by ROTHY

As far as nautical equipment goes, that Hat of True Direction sounds incredibly useful.

In any game we play, my group have a manoeuvre we've called the "Oh, Yeah!". It's basically when anyone of us breaks through a structurally unsound wall, loudly proclaiming "OH, YEAH!" just like the Kool-Aid Man. Anyone who does gets extra experience points and the person who does the most badass variation gets bragging rights. Like <- this guy! Playing a 200 pound lard-ass who just saved a baby by jumping out of a burning building onto a mattress and then storming back in and out through two separate walls.

Good times.

Yeah, we've used the Oh Yeah! joke too.

Where I live Kool-Aid just isn't a thing, so we go with the classic "Écartez-vous, on sort!"^translation Stand back! We're coming out! instead.