The Totally Radical Thread for Crotchety Old Bitches

The first question is a little biased against Aussies The fact that I can recall 5 Prime Ministers since I started paying attention to politics is just because we keep swapping them out.

I got thirty points. I feel like I should have gotten into the next bracket, but there were a bunch of questions I took no points for because none of the answers fit me.

I feel like the heads of state question might be unfair depending on how your country does it. Term length, term limits, is there a term at all? (and to be egregiously pedantic, while the UK has changed heads of government several times in my lifetime, their current head of state has been in office for over 65 years )

I don't think I can really answer the "music that annoyed your parents" section, because my parents have been completely checked out of what's going on in music since before I was born, and I wasn't really one for playing the day's hits around the house.

I technically have a Linkedin profile, but I haven't logged in since I was in college, and most of the emails they send go directly to spam.

Now that the manager that was younger than me left, I'm the youngest one of my coworkers again. But the girl in her mid-30s acts a lot less mature than I do.

I haven't seen any of Babylon 5, but I am familiar with what it is, so I guess I get two points?

I... have played some FPS games with keyboard and mouse, but I don't do it regularly, especially when I don't have a new Portal derivative (technically an FPS) to chew through.

Task manager is so basic next to the other ones that are worth the same yet are beyond my ken. Task Manager is the first thing I go for to contain a virus (though I've twice faced a tricksy virus smart enough to disable it).

The glaring hole in the tech support section is "I don't read manuals, I use Google when things break".

I don't get flu shots but I also haven't gotten the flu since like first grade.

I'm pretty sure my prescription could start fires since middle school. Also I haven't had a new prescription in like five years because while I've technically had my own vision insurance for over a year now, I never feel like I can afford the copay.

Taira: Well you see it is like this. I met this man with a police box on the way to the grocery store...<redacted> and that is how I met your mother.

I'd like to thank the man in the police box for letting the rest of us skip over the nine seasons of meandering so badly the point of the story gets forgotten in favor of talking up the suave best friend.

I vote Tpara gets an extra 80 points for his excellent quiz analysis.

He gets 100 points. Truly a Cobbie among cobbies.

And now for some (revised) fun^note with some help from Tparadox

Are you feeling...less than spry? Has it seemed like “the youth” is out of touch? Wanna know if you’re still “with it?” Or do you claim to have an “old soul” even if you’re still carded at the liquor store?

Worry no more Cobbie! For The Taira Mai Test Of Cranky Old Lady/Laddie -ness (TCOL)-Revised is here!

All points are positive ‘cuz you ain’t getting any younger!

Schooling/Work:

• In your country, how many Presidents/Prime Ministers/Heads of State have occupied that office since you left high school (or your countries equivalent)?
  • Add 2 points per person.
  • Add 5 more points if you have count them
  • Commonwealth/UK Citizens add an extra 2 pts for the Queen and another when there is a change on the throne....

• How many years has it been since your 10 year high school (or your countries equivalent) reunion? 5 years -1 pt, 10 years -2 points, 20 years 5 pts. 25+ years 10 pts.

• How many years has it been since your 10 year college/university reunion? 1 pt per year, if you didn’t bother to go because you had “better things to do” add 10 pts.

• The songs of your youth/school years that annoyed your parents or played when you were in school/college, have they:
  • been featured on a TV show set in the past decade-2 pts,
  • featured in a video game 3 pts.
  • Featured in a video game set in the past 10-30 years? 5 pts
  • been featured in a movie set in the past 10-50 years? 10 pts
  • been played on an “oldies station” 20 pts
  • been the subject of a VH 1 style “Behind the Music” special 30 pts.

• Professional Social Media:
  • You have a profile on Linkedin/Art Station/Monster.com 1 pt.
  • Have said profile but haven't logged in since school/college/your last job: add 2pts.
  • “What are those?” 5 pts.
  • “I don’t do social media, it’s just a fad” 10 pts.

• When at work, is your workspace decorated with:
  • pop culture celebrities, pictures from movies or toys you like- 1 pt.
  • Reference materials, MSDS, safety warnings, handouts and training materials-5 pts.
  • Absolutely nothing because that would be inefficient-20 pts.

• When co-workers mention their childhoods do you:
  • shake your head-1pt.
  • laugh at how lax their parents seem to be-5 pts.
  • “Allowance? I was allowed to live there”-10 pts.

Pop Culture:

• Kirk Or Picard:
  • “Kirk” 5 pts,
  • “Picard” 2 pts,
  • “Janeway” 3 pts.
  • “Captain Archer!” No points, and may what ever Gods you believe in have mercy on your soul.

• Babylon Five:
  • Confusing and/or "I heard of that show" – 1pt,
  • A sci-fi show with an Arc: 2 pts
  • A great show by JMS 5: pts
  • “Anti-Clark Propaganda! I’m reporting you to Nightwatch!”: 10 pts
  • Star Trek was better: 20 pts.

Computer use:

• Do you:
  • play at least one first person shooter on the computer with a keyboard and mouse: 5 points.
  • select “custom” when you install software: 5 points
  • have removed a part of your computer you don’t use: 10 points.
  • have modified your Windows using REGEDIT, used Task Manager to kill a lagging program and/or used Windows Power Tools: give yourself 5 pts for each answer.
  • Taken a screwdriver to your PC/Mac/laptop to fix something: 7 pts.
  • have evolved beyond these and are a member of the Glorious PC Gaming Master Race – 10 pts.
  • have used or seen in action any of the following: ADA, COBOL, FORTRAN, BASIC (on a cassette tape) and the TRS-80 - 10 pts each.
  • have no idea what the above lines are talking about: 20 Pts.

• tech support:
  • “I call them a lot when I get stuck” 1pt
  • “Terrible! I can’t understand them.” 5 pts
  • “If you want it done right, study the manual/Google it and be your own tech support.” 10 pts.
  • “Tesla? Jobs? Musk? Morons. I don’t need tech support” 50 pts.

• Your Password:
  • is "password": 50 pts
  • Is 733t: 70 pts
  • A fictional character: 75 pts plus 5 pts if extra characters are added
  • Written down on a piece of paper or a .txt file hidden somewhere that you consult: 70 pts.

• in sandbox games (i.e. minecraft) do you:
  • try to be creative 1pt
  • try to test the limits of the game world 5 pts
  • try the “story mode” 10 pts
  • laugh when you set things on fire, place animals/people in lava, blow up buildings etc. 20 pts
  • All of the Above 30 pts.

Health

• When the weather changes (sunny to rain, summer to fall etc) do your joints ache? 5 pts per limb in pain.

• Dreams after eating spice foods:
  • pleasant dreams 1pt
  • nightmare 5 pts
  • nightmare / lsd sequence that would make Stephen King wet his pants 10 pts

• getting out of bed: 5 pts per groan before your whole body is out of bed

• eating spice foods/fast foods/greasy foods do you:
  • Burp a lot? 3 pts
  • Expect extra bathroom breaks? 5pts
  • "It was good going down but not so good when I was on the toilet..." 7pts
  • Reach for the acid reflux/heat burn meds: 7 pts.
  • Friends, family, and/or your doctor warn you about spicy foods/cheap takeaway at your age: 10 pts.

• Cold or flu season, do you:
  • don't have to worry thanks to a good immune system/exercise: 1pt
  • get the flu shot as soon as possible -2 pts
  • get the shot or nasal spray after someone near you starts coughing – 5pts
  • forget to ge the shot/nasal spray and have to take a sick day – 10 pts
  • take more than one sick day- 15 pts
  • pray for death as you cough and wheeze in bed – 20 pts

• when you get off work do you:
  • lounge around a t-shirt and jeans? 1 pt
  • lounge around in an old shirt and old sweatpants/jeans? 5 pts
  • lounge in old clothes that have holes in them but are “comfy”? 10 pts.
  • lounge in just unides “because screw it I’m off the clock!” 20 pts.
  • “get naked because dammit I pay the bills here!” 100 pts and bravo!

• corrective eye wear:
  • “It’s stylish and I need it for reading.” 1pt
  • “I got LASIK” 20 pts
  • “It was issued by the military/my health plan/required so that I can keep my driver’s license” 10 pts.
  • “My new prescription is so strong, I can use my new glasses it to start fires in an emergency” 30pts.

• "your're only as old as you feel": after (forced) exercise, a hard day at work/college/teaching do you:
  • Feel alive/ say "I feel young!" 1pt
  • cough, wheeze, flem comes out, and/or have to "take a breather"? -7 pts
  • Need to lay down? -10pts
  • Need a pain reliever? 15 pts.
  • Need a good beer/glass of wine? 17 pts.
  • The grim specter of death sits next to you and says that you really need to watch your health because, damn, you look like hell? 20 pts.

add one point per trope you clicked on in this test. Keep in mind IT ages most tropers and cobbies in dog years.

TCOL-R Scale:

10 -40 points: you are a young pup, keep dancing to those top 40 hits you whipper snapper!

40-60 points: you were with it once, then they changed what it was, what you’re with isn’t it anymore, and what’s it now is weird and scary. You may have urges to shoo kids off your lawn.

60-100 points: joins are creaking, your fav tunes are on the oldies station. Face it, you're no spring chicken, but at least you can surprise the youngin's.

100-170 points – consider moving to a drier climate, we recommend that you prepare yourself for the gray hairs and the urge to yell at the TV

170+ points. Growing old isn’t for sissies. You’ve made it under your own power, even if you have to get assistance to get out of that chair or up those steep stairs. I’m pulling for ya, we’re all in this together.

edited 22nd Oct '17 12:33:59 PM by TairaMai

95 points at age 23. I think your techie section might be skewing it a bit :P

Also, cobbies, I have a question for you. I was at a party tonight hosted by a lovely woman I've been casually dating for a while. I honestly couldn't tell if she wanted me to spend the night or not, and couldn't for the life of me figure out how to ask. Advice would be appreciated.

1337 is that old?

Leet speak started in The '90s as a way to keep "the man" (read sysops, undercover feds and school admins) from reading about the things form goers were talking about.

And in 3 years, The '90s will be thirty years ago.

Kyle, if you can, ask some of this lady's friends to see what she thinks about you.

edited 22nd Oct '17 11:40:44 AM by TairaMai

Yeah, thirty. For an automatic "you ain't no spring chicken", I expect a COBOL reference.

Done. Thanks Tpara!

Well this weekend was a huge disappointment. After a 20 day work week we were going to hang out with some friends at fire pit and you know just hang. That was until the missus and I made the mistake of not knowing that despite the fact the site had been rented already that every guest was expected to pay nearly 20 dollars to access the site. We had already paid as much for snacks for everyone so we decided that 40 dollars to sit around a fir pit for only 4 hours was not a good way to spend our time and money.

edited 23rd Oct '17 4:24:16 PM by TuefelHundenIV

My mom's at the hospital right now. She went to a Prompt Care earlier and I guess the doctor wanted her to head to the hospital to get checked out further. And it's her birthday today, go figure.

Today is apparently TCOAOTBAO^* Taking Care Of All Of The Business At Once day.

I got my car inspected first thing in the morning. I never get current insurance paperwork into the car, so I had to call the insurance office as I walked from the shop to work and get them to fax POI to the shop.

I got a phone call from the new apartment place asking me to call them back.

I got a text from my mother saying I'll need to send paperwork to the bank where my parents are cosigning for a credit card for me so I can finally have a credit history and not need my father to cosign on my leases in the future.

Called the new apartment back, turns out that while I was approved, they would also desperately like me to take residence the day after tomorrow, and they'll give me all of the rest of October for free if I do. Recall that regardless of when I pick up the keys, I'm stuck babysitting my current apartment until mid-December because of current property managers' policies. I said "yeah, probably, you'll have to talk to my roommate who's still out of state about when he can get here though".

I'm never going to finish paying my parents back on the loans.

Got home, renewed my auto registration online. Might possibly get a sticker by the first of the month.

Now I've gotta dig up my last W-2 for the credit card application.

And I should buy groceries tonight.

Oh no, Mark, that's terrible! I hope she gets better soon.

Well, good news is my mom is back. All the tests they ran at the ER came back negative (so no heart attack, tumors, etc) which is good but her rare fainting spells are still inexplicable. The ER docs recommended she go to a regular doctor for more focused tests, but for right now she's ok.

Mark: That is good to hear. Hopefully it is just an odd condition or maybe something simple like a dietary fix. Well simple in a relative sense.

So Cobbies, trying to still unwind after these rough last few days, I propose a topic - uncommon celeb crushes you had/have. Celeb crushes you have or had that are not widely shared (like Pamela Anderson or Ryan Reynolds)

I'll go first. Mine is Fairuza Balk. Come to think of it, seeing her in The Craft as a youngster may have been what kicked off my love of goth chicks.

I don't know if it's rare, exactly, but my first celebrity crush was Mark Hamill. I'm still pretty sweet on him.

Bit of a toss up for me. Either Laura Prepon (Donna from That 70's Show) or Pauley Perrette who plays "Abby" the Goth lab tech in NCIS.

I like I have 174. Which means I score lower than Teuf but in reality am older than him.

And...um...I think I've gotten so desensitized about my lack of romantic attachment I don't even bother to crush anymore? I'll add another 30 points eh?

I have a thing for goths (not you Abby or you Wednesday) that are snarky or sexy. Ex-GF was a goth, but shorter than me. ^note I didn't get cable in my small town so I didn't see Daria and what I did see later turned me off.

Seven Of Nine was the pop culture Closet Key - I was NOT strait after seeing that catsuit. Princess Leia, Wonder Woman, She-ra and Scarlett had left a young me very confused.

I likes my eye candy as much as the next girl, but for a celeb crush: Elle Alexandra (google her), Ariel Winter, Jeri Ryan (and her alter ego 7 of 9), Christina Hendricks, the woman behind Vintage Space, Carrie Fischer and several goth youtube channels I follow.

edited 25th Oct '17 10:46:42 PM by TairaMai

Sunday: I did not know if I had a definite place to live when the day my current lease will release me arrives.

Monday: "You're approved, and by the way, could you please move in the day after tomorrow, three weeks early?"

Wednesday: I signed the contract, but they couldn't give me the keys because the unit wasn't quite ready yet. "It should be ready by 11 tomorrow, no problem."

Today: I intern in the office today. It's a very informal internship and there's often nothing to do. Everybody who might give me tasks went out to lunch and I figured it was a good time to go pick up the keys. So I got there and "oh. Okay, we're just going to cut your keys now, should be ten to fifteen minutes. And also, do we have your insurance info and electric service account?" I didn't know my address until yesterday!

I was able to provide a policy number for my insurance, but the paperwork is still being processed and I didn't have any documentation yet. The electrical, I had to call the power company right then and get the account going. Which meant explaining the billing problems I'd been having with them so I wouldn't have to put down a $200 deposit. (I've been getting charged after my bill is sent out.)

The power company also didn't understand the unit number, since the new management has renumbered the property. So I still need to check the meter number.

After all of that, I had my keys, and I got shown to the unit. And then, before I could leave, "hey, Google Fiber has a tent set up right now to drive sign-ups! Do you want to go ahead and register now?"

Sounds like a very busy life Para! But hey! new place!!