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Creating a Windmill Crusader

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Yej See ALL the stars! from <0,1i> Since: Mar, 2010
See ALL the stars!
#1: Feb 9th 2013 at 6:28:42 PM

So I have a Catholic Luddite protagonist in a Post Cyber Punk future, where Earth has just been informed of the existence of a Humanoid Alien race by an interstellar transmission from an as-yet-unidentified source. A lot of humans in this world have electronically augmented intelligence, and thus are Genre Savvy to a frightening*

extent - they quickly assembled a One World Government and sent out an automated ship to investigate the aliens covertly.

By the time the story proper starts, they have learned several things about the aliens:

In response, they prepare to send the Cool Starship to contact the aliens properly For Science!. However, they plan to do so by producing a Masquerade that they are actually another tribe of the same species, and hide the fact they're from space.

The protagonist comes in when an Alien Spy convinces him to apply to join the mission. However, at the same time, they convince the protagonist that the mission organizers are planning something not in the best interests of the aliens they're visiting, despite the public line being that it is "For Science!"

In the current revision of the story, she tries to convince him that the original transmission was actually from God, or possibly one of His representatives. (The protagonist is sceptical about this, but is Distracted by the Sexy enough to not consider her argument thoroughly) She then goes onto suggest that Humans Are Bastards will apply, and that unless he goes on the mission and reports back to her and her associates, humans will corrupt the aliens down to their level, possibly causing them to Fall if they haven't already. And thus begins the Windmilling.

Is this interesting and/or plausible? grin (Or does anyone have a suggestion for how to make it more believable?)

edited 9th Feb '13 6:30:46 PM by Yej

Da Rules excuse all the inaccuracy in the world. Listen to them, not me.
Collen the cutest lizard from it is a mystery Since: Dec, 2010
the cutest lizard
#2: Feb 10th 2013 at 6:25:55 AM

So your protagonist is religious enough to believe it's from God, but he's still Distracted by the Sexy? It really seems like you just put that in to force the Windmill Crusader part of the plot. It's just... illogical and sort of stupid.

Gave them our reactions, our explosions, all that was ours For graphs of passion and charts of stars...
Yej See ALL the stars! from <0,1i> Since: Mar, 2010
See ALL the stars!
#3: Feb 10th 2013 at 3:59:20 PM

It's not framed as I Have Boobs, You Must Obey!, it's "not paying enough attention to the argument to notice a problem, in part because of the lady who is sexually targeting you specifically." (There's also a Fancy Dinner several times his pay grade going on at the same time.) The sexy isn't important except as a way to cover the argument.

If that's still illogical, can you suggest a better way?

edited 10th Feb '13 3:59:46 PM by Yej

Da Rules excuse all the inaccuracy in the world. Listen to them, not me.
Specialist290 Since: Jan, 2001
#4: Feb 17th 2013 at 12:37:26 PM

Speaking as a believing Christian myself:

On the one hand, I can attest that just because we believe that something is wrong doesn't mean that the impure thoughts just go away, or that they stop being attractive in a moment of weakness. Self-control takes discipline, and discipline takes time and effort to develop.

On the other hand, if the messenger is presenting herself as a messenger from God but also trying to actively seduce him, even if he goes along with it in the moment because of the fog and the emotional turmoil inside his head, eventually the Fridge Logic is going to kick in and his opinion of her nature is most likely going to do a complete 180-degree spin.

Honestly, if you want a good distraction, use a "miracle." "Sufficiently advanced technology" and all that.

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