How to Stop a Kaiju

Okay, things are gonna get weird…as is the standard with my efforts.

So I’ve got this story in mind — a Sword and Sandal fantasy that, conceptually, is looking good. The gist of it: Ursa, a single mom and self-made fisherwoman, finds herself Kaiju-sized and hunted by the empires of the world after a bit of Lunacy, and not only has to find a way to survive, but defy a prediction that her son Canis will die within the next year.

Simple, no?

Anyway, while I think I’ve got a good handle on the character (for now), I’m still wondering about the circumstances that would surround her. Keeping in mind that she’s now 360 feet tall, Ursa’s going to cause a bit of property damage wherever she goes — to say nothing of the amount of food she’d consume, the space she’d need, and the whole “anything gigantic is a freak and must die” mentality of the populace.

Given that, I’ll ask you clever, Godzilla-thwarting tropers: how do you stop something that’s 60 times bigger than the average man? Toss some ideas my way, if you can — be it the direct approach with weaponry/combat, tactics, what have you.

Here are a few ideas I’ve been tossing around:

• Mana cannons. Giant monsters in-universe are vulnerable to magic, and Ursa’s on exception. Build something that can hit her hard enough, and you can bring her — or any kaiju — down.
• Magic (giant) caltrops. Cripple her, and she’d be easier to handle — plus, she wouldn’t be able to escape. Alternatively, target her weak points (ankles and tendons, if I’m not mistaken), which are now massive targets in their own right.
• Territorial advantage. It’s hard for something big to maneuver quickly/agilely when the terrain’s unforgiving, so the enemy armies can use that to their advantage. Making the terrain muddy, hiding in the crevices of cliffs, etc. — I’d imagine there’s a lot to be had when fighting in one’s home field.
• Negotiation. Give her something that she wants…and then stab her in the back once you’ve earned her trust. Just, whatever you do, DO NOT EVER mess with her son. Using him to convince her, however...
• If all else fails, Summon Bigger Fish. That, or let the emperor fight. Lord knows that’s what he’s good for.

That’s all I’ve got for now. I’m in your hands now, troper comrades; take command of the world’s greatest armies, and bring this monster down!

(Well, almost. She IS the hero, after all…)

What is the landscape like? If she's a fisherwoman and there are any deep waterways, I can imagine that a naval patrol (or a sufficiently strong net) would be an excellent tactical decision, regardless of whether she can swim or not. If the terrain's mountainous, you could have the people attacking her launch a long-range assault from a safe distance and advance or withdraw as necessary. In a forest, the opposing force could rely on the fact that she probably won't be able to see that well below the canopy. You could also undermine a large area of land by digging tunnels beneath it; a sort of kaiju-sized pitfall.

It's less about what weapons to use and more about how to use them effectively, really. Hope that helped!

Nets. Thick ropes to tangle up and tie down.

As she's travelling throughout the world, the terrain tends to vary; still, kudos to you for coming up with some varied examples.

Ah, nets. Simple, but effective.

I like where this thread's going. Let's see if we can keep the momentum going!

I go for negotiation.

Especially for something that can speak.

Of course, even if she is granted some form of asylum by a non-hostile country she couldn't live for long without hurting other considering food and water consumption.

True enough. The resource management thing is something I'll probably explore in greater detail in the story proper; for now, I can say that she gets a fair amount of the food she eats from the other giant monsters she beats in battle. Likewise, negotiation will end up being a big plot point.

Also, another note on the fisherwoman angle: Ursa's actually a very good swimmer as per her trade (and pretty good at catching fish, naturally). Following her little growth spurt, she's able to swim across oceans with relative ease, making her — again, naturally, a worldwide threat.

"None of you are safe!" as Popsicle Pete would say.

Keep it up, guys. The more ideas, the better!

edited 1st Jul '11 7:40:41 PM by Voltech44

Tickle its Nipples.

I don't even no what to say to that. Oh wait, yes I do.

Electrocution! Depending on sources of electrical power.

Trapped in Jell-o. Or some other chemical additive to water to make it less easy to swim through.

Ping-Pong Balls. Get the beast to swallow enough of them.

Fire. Lots of fire. Maybe some explosions in there as well. Aim for the mouth. Even if the exterior is near-impenetrable, one's innards rarely are.

Dip arrows into poison and fire with massed ranks of archers. Make terrain swampy for better results. fight in hills/mountains for optimal cover and casualty avoidance.

Fire, electricity, poison...seems as if throwing the elements at any given kaiju is a start. Poison in particular seems like something that could cause some real damage — or at the very least, a bit of drama story-wise.

On the subject of poison, it would probably need to be delivered by ballista-bolt or better, due to the fact that anything 360-feet tall is by necessity night-invulnerable in order to stand up without falling down. Also because even with lethal poisons it would talk a lot to kill a body that large.

I would suggest getting you best spike-haired anti-heroes and having them slash their BFS at her heel-tendons, and for her herself to get some armor for that part of her body, if she can.

Also, mages could proably kick her ass if they were given access to a big-enough source of concussive force: if they can knock her down, just falling to the ground would do more damage than the actual cannon.

Although I doubt this giantess eats people, please note that if she does devour someone armed, it will end [[Squick VERY POORLY]] for her digestive tract, even if they were only kicking and screaming all the way down. This might be a battle tactic for the terminally suicidal: All those Spikes of Doom villains tend to love come to mind...

A) Get her kid and take it to a secret location. If she doesn´t behave properly, pieces of the lad will soon be appearing all over the world.

B) Offer her help with her son´s problem in exchange for her cooperation.

Sadly, this isn't a modern setting. I ran a whole simulation of "how to kill Godzilla" and it ended with "get it out of the water, but not too far away, and then use all the remaining Iowa Battleships to blow him to smithereens.

If you could get her into a large cave, go with Rocks Fall Everybody Dies. Either directly onto her, or, for better results, use large boulders to block the cave. Sealing it further with magic is optional but highly recommended. Then she starves to death, which is very And I Must Scream.

A simpler method would be just letting the Square-Cube Law kill her: drop her in a pit/off a cliff. The fall will definitely put an end to her, unless there is serious, heavy-duty magic keeping her from liquidizing from impact force...

Wow, didn't expect to see this thread pop up again. Not that I'm complaining.

Anyhoo, as long as I have your attention, I figure I might as well mention a few things, as well as ask a few questions.

• Ah, the Square-Cube Law, my old enemy. That's the one thing that I've been wondering about for a while. That is, how to handle it appropriately. Being a fan of certain tropes, it'd be a shame to have Ursa lose just because of a little spill — not that I'm against science or anything. Still, I've put a little thought into it, and here's what I've got:
  • As much as she would try to deny it, Ursa was never 100% human to begin with — the fact that she had horns, a tail, and was originally 18 feet tall should have been her first clue. Given that, I'd say there's room for me to suggest that her body (bones, muscles, etc.) has the strength to support her. And speaking of strength...
  • She already had a degree of super strength to begin with; following her "rise to stardom", that strength was only magnified.
  • Talk about the Law came up in another thread I had, and as I understand it I'd already done a few things right with Ursa. She's big, but she's incredibly slow as well. And while she's a far cry from overweight, she does have a fair amount of girth to her. Just a few details I thought I'd throw into the mix, if that means anything to you science aces.
  • Still, I'm curious — numbers-wise, does anyone have a clue as to how strong she'd need to be/become to support herself? What about the specifics of her body? And how much would she actually weigh? A LITTLE credibility/understanding of science would be nothing but beneficial.

You know, applying realism to a world where the heroine piledrives a dragon. No harm in that, right?

Whatever the case, these are some righteous ideas. Thanks for your help so far, guys.

edited 4th Jul '11 8:19:07 AM by Voltech44

Still, I'm curious — numbers-wise, does anyone have a clue as to how strong she'd need to be/become to support herself? What about the specifics of her body? And how much would she actually weigh? A LITTLE credibility/understanding of science would be nothing but beneficial.

this might be helpful.

Truly, you are a man above men.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. Of course, taking/manipulating her son Canis is going to be an important option, strategy-wise and story-wise (I mean, would you rather deal with a mountain-breaking mother, or her tiny, fragile, naive son?). Thing is, the Big Bad — the emperor I mentioned earlier — is savvy enough to know that this is a terrible idea that will only lead to mass destruction. That's not to say that other wannabe world-conquerors will try it; just something that I thought I'd bring up.

I DO like the idea of trapping her, though. Nice one.

edited 4th Jul '11 10:38:27 AM by Voltech44

Okay, piledriving a dragon? That makes this an entirely new ball game. Square-cube law is almost worthless against her, as are arrows and more than 90% of swords.

First off, train crack ballista-crews. They will be as blowdarts or weaker to the giantess but a wound to the eye would still be pretty horrfic, and poking enough tiny holes in her would be enough to at least make her go away. Catapults and trebuchets would not be as useful, as they would only bruise, and thus would not leave wounds capable of infection.

Gigantic caltrops would also be recommended, as would setting nearby forests on fire so it is like walking on hot coals. Making your fortress spiked would also be enough to deter her from punching them.

Getting A) a really big ballista or B) a regular-sized cannon might allow you to inflict wounds that would be as damaging as a small bullet on someone normal. iI you had a bow that launched polearms instead of arrows, you might be able to inflcit blow-dart level wounds on her as well.

if’s she's really slow, then there might be a simple method if you don't need to defend a fortified emplacement: simply have your army march AROUND her.

Finally, Comic books have taught us that you fight fire with fire and superpowers with more superpowers. Therefore, having one of the empire’s own magical super-freaks(like their emperor) would be the best method of combat. Something small (human-sized) but fast and incredibly resistant to impact-damage would be best, like a magical cockroach that breaths fire. And also menaces with spikes of diamond.

Does she have magical capabilities? Is she more intelligent or foolish than most people? A giant who can accurately throw VERY heavy stones to a prodigious distance would be something to be afraid of.

Maybe she could play their own game, kidnapping important citizens or threatening to wreak havoc (perhaps taking a river from its course to utterly destroy a city, or something like that) in case her demands aren´t met.

Looks like I´ll be taking the role of the giant´s lawyer :P

If they've got (good) magic, pull a Full Metal Alchemist: turn the ground under where she's walking into a pit with stone spikes in it. Get a bunch of mages if you have to. Really, the question isn't, "can we kill it?" The question is, "what of the multitude of methods that we have at our disposal can we use?"

When I say "piledriving a dragon," i mean that tentatively. Nothing's been set in stone yet; I just say that because...well, it sounds cool, and something like that MIGHT happen. Like, she might power-bomb a minotaur or something. Whatever the case, you've got some valid points there.

Does she have magical capabilities? Sadly, no, both before and after her "little blow-up." That's part of the reason why magic's so effective on her, and all the other giant monsters in-universe; since she doesn't have that magical energy swirling through her, she's got less resistance to it. (Incidentally, the fact that she's magically challenged makes her socially crippled and maligned...like her size didn't do that already).

On the subject of intelligence...well, I'd say she's about average at the most. Given the prejudice she's faced in the past, I imagine I'd be justified in having her excluded from proper education from time to time in her past. Still, she's capable — if a bit ditzy and childish at times — and as time passes, she learns to rely on her newly-awakened bestial instincts. Still, threats and kidnapping are ideas that she'd be able to come up with on her own. And if you're going to be her lawyer, be sure to shout 'Objection!' when applicable.

A mage squadron...yeah, that sounds like a logical choice — especially considering that the world has had to deal with giant monsters for a while now. And as doorhandle suggested, having small elites like the emperor would help make some major roadblocks in the story for Ursa to overcome.

Objection!

... I always wanted to say that :P

How much resistant has she become by the "kaijuing"? Maybe she can throw the top of a mountain against an army, but could she smack that mountain with her bare hands, or would they break (the hands, I mean)?

What's the viewpoint of her non-human relatives? You mentioned she wasn't entirely human. What´s the other part of her? Dwarf, eldritch abomination, dragon, alien? Does she have any support in the world or beyond, or is she absolutely alone in her quest to save her son? Is there any chance of making an alliance with other monsters or outcasts?

You mention giants and monsters are particularly vulnerable to magic. What does that exactly mean? Magic that wouldn´t kill a mortal would kill them? They are affected normally?

Another important question is: what´s magic capable of doing in your world? Can it empower humans? Turn blood into water? Create storms? Launch fireballs?

Shit soaked ballistia aimed at knees. Laugh as she dies of infection.

If she really wanted to wreak havoc, she could just lay in an ocean route, wait for ships to get near her, then swim below them, sink them, and wait till they send more ships to stop her, then repeat the process.