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Mr. Garrison: Uh-oh, retard alert! Retard alert, class!

Gee, who’d have thought that the people of South Park can plumb the depths of stupidity like the rest of us?


  • In general, Cartman makes up outlandish lies all the time, such as being psychic and Kyle doing 9/11.
    You'd Expect: Them to stop listening to him after a while.
    Instead: They continue to believe every lie he tells week after week — except for Kyle, and sometimes some other people too.
  • Some of Kenny's deaths qualify:
    • In general:
      You'd Expect: Kenny would stay away from his friends' adventures, not get involved in any risky scenarios, stay indoors, etc.
      Instead: He does everything but the above.
      Admittedly: Since Kenny knows he's immortal he knows he'll come back to life even if it's painful. Also, the boys' plans are sometimes for a good cause and some of Kenny's deaths happen due to him sacrificing himself for others. Not to mention that many of his deaths happen even if he doesn't do anything risky, so perhaps he doesn't have (much) hope he could avoid death. Also it's quite possible that he gains some pleasure from danger. That said, he did complain more than once about the burden of his immortality, so his actions aren't exactly level headed, at least not all of them.
    • In "Summer Sucks", the town circumvents a firework ban by using a giant black snake for the Fourth of July celebration. The snake goes out of control due to its massive size and heads straight for the third graders playing a concert on bleachers.
      You'd Expect: Kenny to follow the class off the bleachers and run with them to safety.
      Instead: He stays on top of the bleachers being curious to see what's happening while the rest of the class jumps off. He nearly avoids getting hit by the snake and ends up under the bleachers.
      You'd Then Expect: Kenny to make a run for it.
      Instead: He remains under the bleachers, allowing the snake to destroy them, killing him.
    • In "Merry Christmas Charlie Manson!", Manson is on the run and hides from the police in Cartman's grandmother's house. He volunteers to give himself up by having Kenny march out of the house with a white flag.
      You'd Expect: The police to be able to correctly recognize the obvious signal and accept the surrender.
      Instead: They react to the waving of the flag as if Kenny is wielding a deadly weapon that he is about to use against them and open fire on Kenny, killing him.
    • In "Quintuplets 2000", the U. S. Army has come to take Kenny back from Romania, on Stuart's request. One soldier finds him hiding in a closet, being held up by his mother.
      You'd expect: The man to notice that the kid they're looking for is right in front of him, and take him back.
      Instead: He yells to surrender or he'll shoot, but then immediately opens fire before they can possibly react, riddling Kenny full of holes (but somehow leaving his mother unharmed).
  • "Volcano": Randy Marsh discovers that Mt. Evanston is about to erupt and warns the mayor that South Park is in jeopardy. To make matters worse, Jimbo, Ned and the boys are stranded in the woods near the mountain.
    You'd Expect: The mayor to evacuate the town at once and call the rescue squad to search the woods.
    Instead: She calls some tabloids to cover the story and has the townspeople themselves search for Jimbo, Ned and the boys.
  • "Pinkeye":
    • There's a Zombie Apocalypse in South Park and Chef rushes to the medical clinic to warn the doctor. However, the doctor is not convinced, misdiagnosing all the zombies as having pinkeye. A group of zombies breaks into the clinic and Chef escapes by jumping out a window.
      You'd Expect: The doctor to trust Chef's instincts and follow him out of there.
      Instead: He stays put, believing the zombies also have pinkeye, and gets attacked.
    • Wendy makes Stan dress up like Raggedy Andy because she wants the pair to be Raggedy Ann and Andy, but then she changes her mind and now she wants to be Chewbacca.
      You'd Expect: Wendy to tell Stan in advance that she changed her mind and allow him to be any Halloween costume of his choice.
      Instead: She just assumes that Stan would have figured it out already and doesn't tell him so until they meet in class on Halloween morning. Stan is forced to be Raggedy Andy, and Wendy apologizing to him results in Stan remaining angry at her and declaring that he wants her dead.
    • That being said, Stan himself isn't entirely blameless in the whole mess, either.
      You'd Expect: That as soon as Stan found out that Wendy had gone back on their agreement to dress as Raggedy Ann and Andy, he'd ditch his costume and somehow try to throw together a new one, as Kyle did after finding out that virtually everyone else in class had also come as Chewbacca, and Cartman was forced to do after Principal Victoria forbade him to dress as Adolf Hitler. Heck, maybe even take the Chewbacca mask that Kyle abandoned and wear that, since it'd be less humiliating to be one of the dozens of Chewbaccas than Raggedy Andy.
      Instead: He shows up to the costume contest still in his Raggedy Andy costume, and gets awarded the "worst costume" prize, with the reward of getting laughed at by the whole school.
  • In "Tom's Rhinoplasty", Stan develops a crush on substitute teacher Ms. Ellen. Wendy becomes crazy jealous and warns Ms. Ellen to stay away from Stan.
    You'd Expect: Ms. Ellen to reassure Wendy that nothing is going on between her and Stan. She's too old for him, she's his teacher and even if she weren't those things, she's a lesbian.
    Instead: Ms. Ellen does nothing and Wendy continues to threaten her, such as giving her a dead animal as a present.
    You'd Then Expect: Ms. Ellen would take the threats seriously and contact the principal, Wendy's parents, law enforcement or any combination of the three to punish her.
    Instead: She's oblivious and only unintentionally fans the flames. Wendy eventually becomes so crazy and angry that she hires Iraqis to kidnap Ms. Ellen and launch her into the sun.
  • "Mecha-Streisand" there was a fear Barbra Streisand would find the Triangle of Zinthar.
    You'd Expect: They would destroy one or both halves of the triangle to make it impossible to put back together.
    Instead: They just buried it in different locations.
  • In "Ike's Wee Wee", Mr. Mackey gives his famous "Drugs Are Bad" speech, which ends with him ordering the kids to pass around a small sample of marijuana to show them what it smells like so they can presumably avoid it or tell on someone who's using it.
    You'd expect: Mackey to pass the marijuana around himself in order to decrease the chances of a curious young mind doing something with it.
    Instead: He gives the marijuana to the children to pass around and it ends up disappearing. Turns out Garrison took it instead of one of the kids.
    As a result: The kids are all strip-searched and Principal Victoria fires Mackey for bringing an illegal substance to school without permission. And Mackey is deservedly mocked by the other adults for his lapse in judgement.
  • In "Merry Christmas Charlie Manson", Stan wants to go with the other boys to visit Cartman's grandmother in Nebraska; Sharon doesn't want him to go, but after some persuasion, agrees to leave it up to Randy, who's okay with that.
    You'd Expect: Sharon would give in at this point and let Stan go. Even if it means he won't be home for the holidays this year, there's always next year.
    Instead: She immediately disregards Randy, and still won't let Stan go to Nebraska, which sets him off and prompts him to sneak out anyway. Nice going, Sharon.
  • In "Are You There God? It's Me Jesus", Stan is being mocked for not hitting puberty so soon already, as he is tricked by his friends into thinking all children should have periods as Kenny and Cartman had "theirs" from a stomach infection.
    You'd Expect: Stan to either ask his parents or medical advice about puberty, specifically periods.
    Instead: He takes a bunch of growth hormones from Dr. Mephesto and by taking them he grows boy boobs.
    You'd then Expect: Stan to get embarrassed or put on a bigger shirt cause now everyone is treating him like a girl.
    Instead: He just keeps assuming it's natural puberty. And the episode ends with Stan keeping the boobs on his chest.
    To Make Matters Worse: Stan asks God why he hasn't gotten his period, denying the rest of the town the one question God is allowed to answer. While Stan is relieved to hear he'll have to wait to grow up, this pisses off everybody else to the point of rioting.
  • "Cartman Joins NAMBLA":
    • Cartman abandons Kyle, Stan and Kenny in favor of more mature people to hang out with. He finds two men online—the latter being Mr. Garrison—and both of them get arrested for pedophilia.
      You'd Expect: Cartman to figure out that an Intergenerational Friendship may not be in his best interests if the police keep intervening.
      Instead: He thinks Stan and Kyle are behind the arrests and confronts them about it.
      So: After insisting that he's more mature than both of them, Cartman pays Dr. Mephisto a visit. Dr. Mephisto tells Cartman about an organization that can help him find older friends called NAMBLA.
      You'd Expect: Dr. Mephisto to tell Cartman that there are two organizations with the name NAMBLA, with the one he's referring to being short for "North American Marlon Brando Look-Alikes". He should also warn Cartman that the other NAMBLA is the North American Man/Boy Love Association, and its members are sexually attracted to boys his age. This especially considering he and many others from the Marlon Brando group have had a vendetta against the pedophilic NAMBLA for years.
      Instead: He doesn't specify which group Cartman should look for, only telling him he looks about right.
      As a Result: Cartman becomes involved with the North American Man/Boy Love Association and invites lots of boys (leaving out Stan and Kyle who come anyway) to a hotel dinner and dance. Luckily, the boys are spared from the pedophilic NAMBLA when Kenny's father is mistaken for one of them.
    • Garrison wants to indulge in his homosexual desires but is afraid of this information becoming public since it's 2000.
      You'd Expect: He'd be careful about which chat room he goes into.
      Instead: He goes into one called "Men Who Like Young Boys," thinking the young boys in there are grown men just pretending to be one as part of a perverse fantasy.
      As A Result: He unknowingly gets matched up with Cartman, and before he can get away, FBI agents come in to arrest him understandably thinking he was trying to molest a child. While he is eventually acquitted, the arrest is the last straw among other grievances, and he loses his job.
  • "Scott Tenorman Must Die":
    • Scott finds out about Cartman's supposed plan to have the rancher's pony bite his penis off. Scott then lies to his parents that the rancher is abusing his pony and that it's starving to death.
      You'd Expect: Scott's parents would try to get in touch with the rancher and find out what's going on. Or they could just call someone involved with animal welfare and ask them to investigate.
      Instead: They decide to sneak onto the rancher's property in the dead of night and try to steal the pony. The rancher, who's been tipped off by Cartman, immediately spots them and guns them both down.
    • Scott himself has an idiot moment at the end of the episode. He arrives at Cartman's "Chili con Carnival" and the pony is there. Cartman even tells him to go stand by the pony.
      You'd Expect: Scott to immediately smell a rat since the pony is at the carnival and his parents never returned home, so obviously the plan failed and something bad probably happened to his mom and dad.
      Instead: He doesn't notice either thing.
    • And for the trifecta, it's time for Cartman and Scott to taste each others' chili in the taste test.
      You'd Expect: Scott to suspect Cartman had done something to the chili he made (especially since Scott put his friends' pubes in the chili he gave Cartman, and Scott knows Cartman is trying to get revenge on him for taking the $16.12.) and refuse to eat it.
      Or: Switch it out with someone else's chili like Cartman did.
      Instead: He eats Cartman's chili without hesitation, later finding out that he just ate the ground-up bodies of his dead parents.
  • "Cartmanland":
    • Cartman inherits $1,000,000 from his deceased grandmother's estate. He buys an amusement park and keeps people out so he can enjoy it all to himself. His dream becomes short lived as he is forced to let guests inside so the admissions can cover the cost of security, maintenance, food, etc. This turns the park into a rousing success, much to Cartman's chagrin.
      You'd Expect: Cartman to suck it up and enjoy the money he's making by keeping the park open.
      OR: Realize that since he owns the park, he can just cut all the lines without having to face any consequences.
      Instead: He becomes so dissatisfied with people coming into his park that he sells it back to its original owner. Minutes later, his assets are seized by IRS agents who tell him that he can easily cover the discrepancy with the profits the park is making.
    • Meanwhile, Kyle falls into depression as a result of poor health and Cartman getting to manage an extremely profitable and successful amusement park, to the point that he's lost both his faith in God and the will to live. To cheer him up, Gerald and Sheila decide to tell him the story of Jobnote , on the basis that it relates pretty well to his current situation.
      You'd Expect: Them to tell him the full story, in particular the part about Job being rewarded for his faith with even more in the way of possessions, family and health.
      Instead: They don't. As a result, the story comes off as God making Job's life hell just to win a bet with Satan, making Kyle feel even more depressed.
  • In "Butters' Very Own Episode", the episode's plot runs on this trope applying to Butters. The phone call between Butters and Barbrady just proves what idiots they both are. After Butters call his own house after he gets locked inside the car by his mom who pushed the car into a river in hopes of killing her son. Barbrady first asks Butters "Who is this?".
    You'd Expect: Butters to just answer the question first.
    Instead: Butters just moves on and asks another question, "Is this the Stotch residence?"
    You'd Then Expect: Barbrady to state it is, then repeat asking "Who is this?" to Butters once more.
    Instead: Barbrady asks if he's Puerto Rican, and then asks Butters to keep the line clear and to not call anymore, then hangs up. Great going, Barbrady.
  • In "Ladder to Heaven", God suspects that dictator Saddam Hussein, who was banished to Heaven since he's not wanted in either Hell or Earth is building a nuclear bombs factory in Heaven, which he is. Even so, Saddam's factory looks exactly like a nuclear bombs factory and it truly is one!
    You'd Expect: God to go check if there's any uranium inside those bombs.
    Instead: He gets manipulated by Saddam's speech that because it looks very close to a nuclear bombs factory, it can't be one because Saddam defends that he's "smart enough" to ensure anything he builds has a cover-up disguise. Because Saddam put pictures of chocolate chip cookies around his nuclear missiles, God gets too confused to investigate and departs. Saddam remarks, "Stupid asshole!"
  • At the end of "My Future Self n' Me", Cartman is visited by his his slim handsome future self, who tells him this is the day his life was turned around and he grows up to be successful after he considers turning his life around.
    You'd Expect: Being smart enough to start a time travel company, he wouldn't risk changing his great future and know his past self wouldn't even go back to tell him anything.
    Instead: He does exactly what was said above, and given the events of the episode, Cartman doesn't listen to him and refuses to do all the things he considered doing, and Cartman's future self turns into an ugly, overweight mechanic, ruining everything he's worked for.
  • In the episode "Red Man's Greed", the town is bought out by a Native American casino. The boys come up with the idea for the adults to pool their money together and win a round of roulette to buy the town back. They miraculously win the money, and then some.
    You'd Expect: Them to leave with their money, buy the town back, and split up the extra.
    Instead: They bet it all, and wind up right back where they started. Stan even lampshades this on the ride home, and Randy tries to defend their decision.
  • In 'Casa Bonita', Cartman is angry that Kyle has chosen to invite Butters to his birthday party at Casa Bonita, rather than him.
    You'd Expect: Cartman to get Butters injured at school, like a football injury or trick him into breaking his arm. Or even get Butters grounded. It's not as if that would be too hard.
    Instead: He kidnaps Butters, locks him in a shelter after making him think the world's ended, then Butters ends up in the city dump. The police also arrest Cartman but he only gets a week in juvenile hall.
    • Also, Kyle tells Cartman that he can come to his birthday if Butters can't come. Cartman locks Butters in the bomb shelter that night.
      You'd Expect: Someone, especially Kyle, to realize that Butters went missing right after Kyle told Cartman this, put two and two together, and realize Cartman's responsible.
      Instead: This possibility never occurs to anyone.
  • In "The Passion of the Jew", Cartman starts a "Mel Gibson Fan Club". Tons of townspeople show up assuming it's a club for people who loved The Passion of the Christ, when Cartman takes the podium in a Nazi uniform, discusses how they should go about extermination, and has everyone present start marching while shouting phrases in German.
    You'd Expect: Everyone would realize they're literally dealing with a Nazi and get the hell out of there.
    Instead: They assume it's Aramaic, in an homage to the film, and take part in the march.
  • In "Cartman's Incredible Gift" Kyle does some research on a strange man who turns up at the crime scenes. He reports this evidence to the police.
    You'd Expect: The police to look into this. After all, Kyle did collect DNA.
    Instead: They call it 'hocus-pocus' and choose to instead use Cartman's psychic abilities.
    Later On: The serial killer in question, angry that Cartman keeps 'solving' the case, comes to Cartman's house and abducts him. Meanwhile, Kyle has jumped off the roof to make the police think he's psychic as well. The police go to the house with the killer, where Kyle 'has seen' him.
    You'd Expect: The police to go about this professionally.
    Instead: They do this.
    Yates: Good evening, sir. We're Park County detectives. We were just wondering if we could take a quick look around your house, Misterrr...
    Serial Killer (in just a pair of tiger-print underpants): God.
    Yates: Well, Mr. God, it won't take but a second; it might help us with an investigation.
    • Worse: The officers look around and see pictures of women with their faces cut out.
      You'd Expect: Yates to at least consider that something's wrong.
      Instead: He says his son likes doing that as well.
      Then: The other officer finds a room with severed hands on the wall. The killer cuts off the left hands.
      You'd Expect: Yates to arrest the killer, since having severed hands on the wall is VERY suspicious.
      You'd also Expect: Either officer to work out that the backs of the hands are facing right, making them the left hands. Or work out that even having any severed body part on the wall is illegal.
      Instead: They say that the guy can't be the killer, since the hands are facing right, not left. They then apologize for wasting the murderer's time!
      Then: Yates' colleague remarks about the 'coincidence' of the suspect having hands on his wall. Yates keeps turning his hand round and round.
      Followed By: Yates doing all sorts of tests to determine whether it was the right or left hand. Including taking time off playing volleyball and asking his colleague what he was doing.
      Resulting In: Yates shooting the serial killer just before the murderer can kill Cartman. Yates doesn't get better.
  • "Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow": Stan and Cartman are playing inside a boat from a lake. According to Cartman, said boat belongs to his uncle Roy. Cartman asks Stan to actually drive the boat and gives him the keys, which were in the glove box. At first Stan refuses but then Cartman assures him he will take all the blame if something goes wrong.
    You'd Expect: Stan to remember this is Cartman we're talking about and refuse.
    Instead: He accepts. After he starts driving the boat goes out of control and hits a beaver dam. Cartman then admits he will not really take the blame and he doesn't even have an uncle Roy, and that he just knew things about that boat. The destruction of the beaver dam results in massive hysteria in the town. To be fair, most South Park residents are morons and they overreacted big time by believing the apocalypse is coming, but it was still stupid on Stan's part.
  • In "Miss Teacher Bangs A Boy", Ike gets into a very inappropriate relationship with his teacher Miss Stevenson. Kyle finds out and is rightfully disgusted at this revelation. He tries to tell their parents at the dinner table, but Ike keeps interrupting him before he can spill the beans.
    You'd Expect: Kyle to talk to his parents away from Ike and inform them of what's happening.
    Instead: He makes the vague comment at the dinner table that Ike is ready for "The Talk". They are understandably dismissive of the idea seeing how Ike is still a Kindergartner.
    The Result: When the justice system fails to properly deal with Miss Stevenson because of her gender and the fact that she claimed to be an alcoholic, she gains easy access to Ike as his parents are unaware of what's happening between them until it's almost too late and don't take measures to keep them apart.
  • In "Go God Go XII", after Cartman froze himself 540 years into the future (Because he couldn't bear to wait 3 weeks for the Wii to come out) where the Nintendo Wii is obsolete and extinct, he spends the entire episode trying to undo his mistake, he finally succeeds by informing Richard Dawkins that Garrison's really a sex change-operated man. Right in the middle of Garrison and Richard having coitus. The future people send him back to his current time, only for his mom to tell him that he's now 2 months away from the Nintendo Wii's release.
    You'd Expect: Cartman to realize that he has to do what his future self does, given that he just called himself on the phone from the future multiple times just a few minutes ago.
    Instead: Cartman thinks it's Kyle and tells his future self to suck his balls, hangs up the phone and goes to freeze himself all over again.
  • "With Apologies to Jesse Jackson": Randy is on the game show Wheel of Fortune and makes it to the bonus round. The word that he is supposed to solve looks suspiciously like the n-word since the category is "People Who Annoy You" and the puzzle board reads N_GGERS.
    You'd Expect: Randy to give up and realize that winning money isn't worth destroying his reputation on national TV.
    Or: Realize that such an incredibly offensive word would not be the answer to the puzzle and try something else.
    Instead: He says the n-word in confidence!
    Thus: Not only does Randy lose the prize money (the answer was NAGGERS), but his reputation is ruined and he is labeled "the n-gger guy."
  • In "Cartman Sucks", Cartman shows his friends a photo of himself and a sleeping Butters, with Butters' penis in Cartman's mouth, thinking this will make people think Butters is gay. Stan, Kyle and Kenny inform Cartman that having someone else's penis in his mouth makes Cartman look gay. Cartman panics and Kyle tells him that the only way to undo the gay is by Cartman taking a picture of Butters with Cartman's penis in his mouth.
    You'd Expect: Cartman to realize Kyle is messing with him, go home, destroy the photo, delete any copies he may have and forget about the whole incident. Even if the other three boys tell people about it (which they do say they will do), the proof will have been destroyed.
    Instead: Cartman attempts exactly what Kyle advised.
    The Result: Butters' father catches them in the act, thinks Butters is gay and sends Butters to a gay conversion camp. Later, Cartman tries to edit the photo with Kyle in his place, only to lose it and assume that Kyle stole it to show to everyone at show-and-tell. To rob Kyle of the opportunity to embarrass him, Cartman shows a copy of the picture to everyone in class himself, only for Mr. Mackey to inform Cartman (too late) that his mom called and said that the photo fell under Cartman's desk. So Cartman humililated himself for no reason.
  • In "Night of the Living Homeless", panhandlers invade the entire town in the same fashion as zombies non-stop begging anyone they see who isn't homeless for change.
    You'd Expect: The Adults to just ignore them and not give them a single penny. Giving them anything will only make the problem worse cause then they'll just ask for more.
    Instead: Thanks to their incredible selfishness, the Adults, especially Randy, overreact by treating the homeless as if they're actually flesh-eating zombies. The Adults barricade themselves on top of a building's roof and pathetically wait for rescue teams while living off of Pop-Tarts that aren't Cherry and the boys then have to fend for themselves.
  • In "Le Petit Tourette", Kyle comes up with a plan to stop Cartman from going on Dateline and using his fake Tourette's syndrome to spout hate speech about Jews, by teaming up with Thomas (a kid who really has Tourette's) to trick pedophiles into entering the studio under the guise of sex.
    You'd Expect: The pedophiles to realize it's an obvious setup, since they're meeting the boys at a TV studio en masse.
    Instead: They walk right into the studio none the wiser and commit suicide upon seeing Chris Hansen.
  • In "Major Boobage", Kenny has been "cheesing" (taking cat urine as part of a drug craze) and his friends come to comfort him. Kyle foolishly takes one of the cats home and his mother Sheila finds it in his dresser drawer while putting away laundry, leading to his parents having a talk about this.
    You'd Expect: Kyle's parents to let him explain the whole situation and mention Kenny and blah blah blah.
    Instead: Sheila, the mom, accuses him of lying about the cat, and Gerald, the dad, grounds him.
  • "Super Fun Time":
    • The Pioneer Village that the students are visiting is swarmed by a group of armed criminals who robbed a nearby Burger King. The criminals hold everyone hostage while looking for a way to escape without being caught by the surrounding police. They find an underground gold mine that was sealed off after a kid died down there and the door can only be opened by punch code. All employees know the code, but can't reveal it since they are obligated to stay in character while on the clock, and this technology did not exist in the time period that the village portrays.
      You'd Expect: The employees to make a special exception and co-operate with the crooks. (One of them even suggests such but is quickly shut down by his superior.)
      Instead: They stubbornly stay in-character and refuse to give the code, being shot dead as punishment.
      You'd Also Expect: When Stan points out that the villagers have access to functioning firearms, that Pioneer Paul would have gathered as many guns as possible, killed the two criminals holding the class and employees hostage, and handed the spare guns to his employees to kill the rest of the criminals.
      Instead: Pioneer Paul takes only one gun and instead of killing the robbers, kills an employee who broke character before putting the gun down and joining the hostages. Talk about Skewed Priorities.
      Furthermore: You'd expect the employees to have installed a type of lock that did exist in 1864, if not for the sake of being Crazy-Prepared, than for the sake of historical accuracy. But they didn't and they paid dearly for it.
  • In "Dead Celebrities", the two male judges on Toddlers & Tiaras are pedophiles.
    You'd Expect: Them to restrain themselves while at the competition.
    Instead: They openly masturbate to prepubescent girls on live television and are eventually arrested by the police.
  • In "Whale Whores", Stan becomes the ruthless new captain of the Whale Wars crew and begins a violent reign of terror against the Japanese in retaliation for their brutal killing of whales and dolphins (greatly improving the show's ratings and turning it into a show "where stuff actually happens" in the process). At one point, during a crucial moment on one of their missions, they come across the crew of Deadliest Catch, who mock and ridicule them, claiming their show is better and deserves all the ratings instead, and proceed to block their boat off at every turn so they can't go anywhere.
    You'd Expect: Stan – a literal Wildlife Warrior with an entire arsenal of weapons at his disposal; no time or tolerance for any bullshit; not a care in the world about TV show ratings; zero qualms about blowing up entire Japanese whaling vessels, stranding and likely killing countless crew members in the process; and who had spent the better part of the episode insisting that people get off their asses and do something about the senseless slaughter of whales and dolphins – to order the use of force against the Deadliest Catch crew, either by raiding their boat and having them arrested for their insubordination and insolence, or by simply blowing them to pieces.
    Instead: He and the rest of the crew just sit there doing absolutely nothing, essentially letting the Deadliest Catch crew screw around with them and waste all their precious time.
    The Result: Deadliest Catch hogs all the ratings, Whale Wars once again becomes a show where nothing actually happens, and more cetaceans likely die at the hands of the Japanese – all because of Stan not getting off his ass and doing something. (Granted, the whales themselves eventually come along and get rid of the DC crew for them, but by then it ends up being too little too late.)
  • "Crippled Summer": Nathan and Mimsy have rigged Jimmy's ukulele to explode when playing the solo to his hula song. That solo is "Believe me if All Those Endearing Young Charms". Jimmy, of course keeps messing it up and eventually decides to skip it. Nathan and Mimsy demand the ukulele solo be played again, but Jimmy can't do it and asks Mimsy to show him how. Mimsy proceeds to play it, but Nathan stops Mimsy before he hits the B flat note that triggers the C4 and chides Mimsy for his stupidity.
    You'd Expect: Nathan to get rid of the ukulele or do anything else except what he does next.
    Instead: He gets so angry while yelling at Mimsy that he forgets and plays the solo, blowing himself up in the process. Then he's once again bitten by the black mamba, shot by the Indians and raped by the shark.
  • In "Poor and Stupid", Cartman reveals he dreams of becoming a NASCAR driver when he grows up, but he also believes only poor and stupid people like NASCAR, because Kenny likes it. Because of this, Cartman decides to make himself poor and stupid in order to become a driver. After many attempts, Cartman drinks a feminine hygiene product named Vagisil, because one of the possible side effects is short-term memory loss. He then steals the car of a NASCAR driver and drives at a race, resulting in a car crash that killed 11 people. After this Cartman really becomes a NASCAR driver who sponsors Vagisil and sinks down the reputation of NASCAR, by making it look like only poor and stupid people are into it. Kenny, being a huge NASCAR fan, is understandably furious.
    You'd Expect: Kenny to inform Stan and Kyle about this and ask them for help. Stan being Stan and Kyle being Kyle, they would be more than willing to put Cartman in his place and all three of them would have higher chances at success as a team. Not to mention that Stan and especially Kyle already hate Cartman.
    Instead: Kenny has the bright idea to go to one of Cartman's races and jump on his car while he's driving. Cartman furiously hits the brake, resulting in Kenny being launched and almost dying (again), and even more death and destruction. Luckily, Cartman does end up losing, thanks to Jeff Hamill's (the CEO of Vagisil) wife Patty having enough of her husband's insults and entering the race and winning, and Kenny gets out unscathed somehow.
    Admittedly: Kenny knows he's immortal and that he will come back to life if he dies, but as he himself once said, "it fucking hurts", so he could've avoided a lot of pain.
  • "Human CentiPad":
    • Kyle is held captive by Apple and surgically attached to two other people, mouth to asshole. Steve Jobs makes it abundantly clear that they can do this, because they secretly worked the consent into the terms of use agreement for the newest Apple update. Jobs then gives Kyle a contract, saying that all he has to do to earn his freedom is sign it.
      You'd Expect: That Kyle, realizing that he landed in this mess by signing an agreement he didn't read, would suspect that any corporation amoral enough to do what Apple is doing would take this opportunity to enslave them even further rather than let them go, and actually read the damn contract this time.
      Instead: He signs it without even looking at it. Of course, instead of letting them go and separating them, the contract actually says the signer gives consent to let Apple keep them this way for the rest of their lives.
    • The subplot involves Cartman pissed that he's the only kid at school without an ipad and convinces his mother to take him to Best Buy to get one. Liane finds one called "Toshiba Handibook" which does everything an Apple ipad does at a much lower cost. But Cartman thinks that owning a non-Apple brand iPad will make everyone think he's "a poverty striken asshole". Liane tells Cartman to stop acting like a Spoiled Brat, or he gets nothing at all.
      You'd Expect: Cartman to realize that not owning an ipad at all will make him look worse than owning a cheaper one, stop being a stubborn asshole, and just live with the Toshiba Handibook. If he's really concerned that people will judge him for owning an ipad not from Apple, he can just make the Handibook look like one while he's in public. Shouldn't be so hard given how resourceful Cartman can be when he's determined.
      Instead: Cartman throws a complete tantrum over not getting the ipad he wants, accuses Liane of "fucking him over" and pulls down his pants telling her to go ahead fuck him in the Best Buy with everyone there to watch. The tantrum continues for a while off screen, apparently even having Cartman telling a police officer that his mother is trying to "fuck" him. So, big shock, Cartman doesn't get an ipad. It's only then that Cartman realizes the Toshiba Handibook is better than no iPad at all and attempts to pull the teary apologetic child ploy to manipulate his mom into relenting. But Liane knows damn well he's being completely insincere and stands her ground. She even points out that Cartman was actually sorry for his actions, he would accept his punishment gracefully.
  • In "Bass To Mouth", a leaker is revealing humiliating secrets online and the faculty is afraid Cartman will bully the victims into attempting suicide as he did to another student a year prior.
    You'd Expect: They'd threaten to expel him if he so much as attempts to, he should've been expelled 5 seasons ago for his poisoned chocolate milk stunt.
    Instead: They simply try to talk him out of it, being Cartman he simply humiliates another student and nearly drives her to suicide and then continue to follow his whim by poisoning every student in school so everyone's too humiliated to bully anyone.
    As A Result: The leaker gets word of this and releases it.
  • In "A Nightmare on FaceTime", the boys have gone to the police to identify a gang of thieves on Halloween. One cop is sent undercover at the party where the thieves said they would strike next, disguised in a trenchcoat, with Stan's iPad on top, giving him directions through FaceTime. While this is going on, Randy interrupts Stan and has clearly lost his mind.
    You'd Expect: The undercover cop to continue what he was doing before. Stan wasn't really controlling him, and neither is Randy.
    Alternatively: He would stop and try to figure out what's going on.
    Instead: He actually goes on a rampage so that Randy can destroy stuff. Knowing this, it's a little hard to feel bad for him when he gets killed by friendly fire.
  • Season 20 established Hillary Clinton and Mr. Garrison (as a stand-in Donald Trump) as the 2016 U.S. presidential election's two major party candidates. Garrison at first was determined to be president just so he can wage war on all immigrants (mainly Mexicans and Muslims), but panics when he realizes he doesn't have a real plan if he wins. Now wanting to lose the election, Garrison decides to plead to the audience to vote for Clinton during one of their debates and admits to the audience "I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I should not be president. Okay? I will fuck this country up beyond repair. I'm a sick angry little man."
    You'd Expect: Hillary to accept this and thank Garrison in front of everyone.
    Instead: Thanks to the strategy from her advisers, Hillary doesn't even listen to whatever Garrison has to say and repeats over and over "My opponent is a liar and cannot be trusted." As a consequence, Garrison wins the election and is sworn in as the next President of the United States.
    • In "Douche and a Danish", Garrison is determined to throw off the election and decides to expand on his misogynistic comments directed towards white American women so that they'd stop voting for him (this is a satire of Donald Trump's advantage by white female voters). He makes harsh comments threatening to rape them all if he gets elected, making them walk out with only the white males left in Garrison's convention. When they learn that Garrison deliberately killed his projected number of votes, they form an angry mob to confront him.
      You'd Expect: Garrison to admit what he said was wrong and ask for their forgiveness.
      Or: Run away from them through a back door unseen.
      Instead: Garrison offers them a horrendously poor excuse that the election is fixed, and that he was never going to win in the first place. Cue the angry mob led by Chris Christie chasing after him throughout town.
    • Later in the season, Sheila catches Ike trolling, while Gerald is visibly on FaceTime.
      You'd Expect: Sheila to tie this together: That Gerald, her husband, is the troll, that her husband is making one of her sons do this, and that her husband is the reason why the attacks are happening.
      Instead: She assumes that Ike is the one behind this.
      Admittedly: The face time conversation ended before Sheila entered the room, so she probably didn't manage to see Gerald. However, Ike did say he did what someone told him to and Sheila didn't listen.
      • Ike falls at the exact same moment. Gerald has been captured in Denmark and needs to throw suspicion off of himself. He decides to use his son, Ike, as bait and make him troll others.
        You'd Expect: Seeing what his father wanted to write, Ike would ignore him.
        Instead: He falls for the bait and begins trolling.
        Then: Kyle learns that his father was the troll and runs away with Ike. When caught by their mother, she demands to know why he did that.
        You'd Expect: Kyle to just spill the beans and tell her that his father was making Ike troll others.
        Instead: He just tells her that he felt bad for Ike.
        To Be Fair: This is Sheila we are talking about, the woman who literally started a whole war against Canada and planned to get Terrance and Phillip executed for the simple fact that the children of South Park learned swear words and for the albeit more serious, but still stupid reason that Kenny died due to him imitating a stunt from said movie. Not to mention that more often than not Adults Are Useless. So it's possible that Kyle didn't spill the beans out of mistrust.
  • In Season 21's "Doubling Down", Cartman gets sick of listening to Heidi nagging him to lose weight. He buys KFC but with the word "Beyond" written on their boxes with a black marker to trick Heidi into thinking it's plant-based.
    You'd Expect: Heidi to realize that it can't be plant-based if there's bones in the chicken Cartman asks her to eat.
    Instead: She genuinely trusts Cartman and starts eating nothing but junk food for the next few days, causing her to put on some pounds.
    After this: She continues the toxic relationship with Cartman. He sometimes abuses her by mocking her, playing the victim and manipulating her to do things and sometimes love bombs her. She hopes he can change and the fact that the girls mock her for staying makes her more determined to stay. Kyle is the only boy determined to help her by convincing her to leave Cartman. They both have a conversation in which Kyle tells Heidi that Cartman will never change due to his Never My Fault attitude. Finally Heidi breaks up with Cartman and starts dating Kyle, with which she has a healthy relationship. Cartman wants her back and acts all hurt towards her and others. The girls are glad Heidi came to her senses, but mock her for her huge mistake. Heidi feels clearly uncomfortable.
    You'd then expect: Heidi to realize that while the girls are mean, they are right she shouldn't have dated Cartman. If she feels so uncomfortable she could avoid the girls for a while, try to explain herself to them more or even ask someone else for help, like Kyle, her parents, a counselor, a teacher ...
    Instead: She breaks up with Kyle, accusing him of manipulating her, when he in fact was nothing but kind towards her, then she gets back with Cartman. His abuse and manipulation continue, Heidi gets fat and gets some pimples and also becomes meaner to the point of turning into a Distaff Counterpart of Cartman.


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