Video Game / Heroic Armies Marching

Using them is a valid strategy.
H.A.M (Heroic Armies Marching) is a combination Card Game and Turn Based Strategy. The underlying concept is that each card is either a handful of units to be placed upon the game grid, or a spell for messing around with the battle. The game is full of satirical fantasy elements. Dire sloths are pitted against omnipotent space bats, man-eating demons against eldritch horrors. The game is rather simple, with an AI mode, a 2 player mode, and a tutorial.

Takes Rule of Cool and Rule of Funny and makes a fantasy world out of it.

Play it here:

Tropes used include:

  • Abnormal Ammo: The Dragon-born Brute has a mini-gun that fires depleted unicorn horns.
  • Advanced Ancient Acropolis: The Armadillokin were implied to have one, before they went extinct.
  • Art Evolution: From the original version.
    • Most notably the terrain.
  • Asteroids Monster: Twin Burgers turn into 2 Baby Burgers on death.
  • Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever: Arachne, who is pretty much a giant spidertaur.
    • Zar'gletords.
  • Badass Princess: The Ausalian Queen, capable of taking down huge demons, and breaking down walls with nothing more than her bare hands. And robot legs.
  • Bare-Fisted Monk: See Badass Princess.
  • Batter Up: Duckkin Enforcers.
  • Black Mage: Pretty much every spellcaster, the Mad Wizard most notably.
  • Breath Weapon: The Arachnelisk is capable of spewing webs from its mouth.
  • BFG: The Dragonborn Brute has a magical mini-gun.
  • BFS: Zargletords' sword is larger than the most units.
  • Bullet Hell: The Hamsterkin Rocket Trooper is able to attack in the form of gyrorockets that can slowly cover the entire board.
    • The SS Armageddon is able to summon twice as many gyrorockets, and is still able to attack afterwards!
  • Canada, Eh?: One of the possible flags in the background of the Mercenary's card is a Canadian Flag.
  • Cast from Hit Points: The Mad Wizard takes one point of damage (in the form of an explosion) every time it attacks.
    • The Fleep is able to heavily damage itself to permanently increase its attack and counterattack significantly.
  • Combat Medic: Dragonborn healers have petitioned to be renamed Dragonborn mages.
    • The Mobile Supply Depot is the most obvious example.
  • Covers Always Lie: The DJ Spew's card image.
    • The total attack power of all the units attacking Booger on his card equal 10, meaning Booger should be dead.
  • Crippling Overspecialization: Artillery cannot move and attack in the same turn.
  • Death of a Thousand Cuts: Flesh Guards take a fixed amount of extra damage from direct attacks, making this a viable strategy for taking them out with ease.
  • Dual Boss: The Heroes card is the only unique card in the game that gives you multiple different units.
  • Eldritch Abomination: Zorspoink, the Non-Euclidean Bat. He created the world and is also a bit of a jerk. His card and in-game sprite is the only one that is animated.
    • Vnuh Smuj'kurfh.
    • In Vs. Zorspoink mode, unprotected characters will morph into Eldritch Abominations.
  • Enemy Summoner: Mommma Burger, SS Armageddon, Hamsterkin Rocket Trooper, Dirigibill, and Oozinite.
  • Instant Awesome, Just Add Dragons: The Dragonborn Update, which at the time it came out, made the dragonborn have more cards than any other race.
  • Genius Bruiser: Hamsterkin Brutes use Awesome by Analysis in conjunction with massive wrenches. They also use their intelligence to organize their diets and exercise routines, to get strong in the first place.
  • Glass Cannon: THE BEAST, a card that deals huge amounts of damage and counterattack, but only has 4 health.
  • Golem: Fish Golems, Mana Golems, Shit Golems
  • Humongous Mecha: The SS Armageddon.
  • Its Pronounced Tropay: Zar'gletords is pronounced without the "ds".
  • Lightning Bruiser: The Ausalian Queen.
  • Living Shadow: The Shadow Stalker, which cannot take damage, but must be behind an allied unit for it to attack or even live.
  • Magic Knight: The Daeva Spellblade
  • Mighty Glacier:
    • Zar'Gletords. He can't move and attack in the same turn, and has no counterattack, but he attacks with a BFS that reaches 3 squares away, dealing massive damage to all in his path.
    • The Oozinite qualifies. It is capable of attacking in any direction, however, attacking creates a wall of mini-oozes around it, preventing it from moving.