Recap / Taskmaster Series Five

Taskmaster recap index
British series:
Series: One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve | Thirteen | Fourteen | Fifteen | Sixteen | Seventeen
Specials: Champion of Champions | New Year Treats and One-Offs
New Zealand series:
Seasons: One | Two | Three | Four
Australian series:
Seasons: One

Cast

Clockwise from left: Bob Mortimer, Mark Watson, Aisling Bea, Nish Kumar, Sally Phillips, Alex Horne (seated), Greg Davies (seated)

• Taskmaster: Greg Davies
• Taskmaster's Assistant: Alex Horne
• Contestants: Aisling Bea, Bob Mortimer, Mark Watson, Nish Kumar, Sally Phillips
• Teams:^note This series and the next do not have the usual explanations for why the teams are grouped as they are, and one episode in Series 6 suggests they were the only groups compatible with everyone's different filming schedules.
  • Mark Watson and Nish Kumar
  • Aisling Bea, Bob Mortimer and Sally Phillips

This page contains unmarked spoilers for the series in question. If you haven't seen the series yet, you are recommended to leave the page now. You have been warned.

Episodes

Episode 1 - "Dignity Intact"

• Prize Task: The Most Excellent Noise
  • Winner: Mark - Catherine, an opera singer who will sing the name of the winner (5 points)
  • Sally - a "youth disperser" which makes a painful sound that can be only heard by those under the age of 24 (4 points)
  • Aisling - an air-horn (3 points)
  • Bob - a bird caller that simulates the tweeting of a blackbird (2 points)
  • Nish - a CD with a looped recording of his Annoying Laugh (1 points)

• Task 1: Give The Taskmaster's Assistant A Special Cuddle
  • Winner: Bob - cuddled the Assistant while both were shut in the boot of Bob's car (5 points)
  • Sally - embraced the Assistant while smearing various foodstuffs over him (4 points)
  • Aisling - dressed as "Sexy Cuddle-Bot 5000" and cuddled the Assistant after serenading him with a song (3 points)
  • Nish and Mark (2 points):
    • Nish - cuddled the Assistant with the upholstery from a sofa taped around him
    • Mark - took the Assistant to a meadow, where the two embraced (awkwardly)

• Task 2: Get The Taskmaster's Assistant On To Dry Land From The Middle Of A Lake As Elegantly As Possible (Without Oars). The Assistant Must Remain Dry
  • Winner: Nish (5 points)
  • Sally (4 points)
  • Aisling (3 points)
  • Bob (2 points)
  • Mark (1 point)

• Task 3: Get The Basketball Through The Hoop As Quickly As Possible Without Touching It With Your Hands, With Or Without "Gloves"^note The contestant may not wear gloves or anything that could be reasonably construed as acting like gloves
  • Winner: Bob - (5 points)
  • Mark - (4 points)
  • Aisling -(3 points)
  • Nish - (2 points)
  • Sally (Disqualified)^note used a pair of wellington boots as gloves

• Live Task: Get One Item Of Fruit Into The Fishbowl Without Leaving Your Chair Or Throwing The Fruit
  • Winner: Mark (5 points)
  • Bob (4 points)
  • Nish (3 points)
  • Sally (2 points)
  • Aisling (1 point)^note failed to get any fruit into the bowl, but a point was given because she "would have finished".

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Bob Mortimer (18 points)
  2. Mark Watson (17 points)
  3. Sally Phillips (14 points)
  4. Aisling Bea and Nish Kumar (13 points)

Episode 2 - "The Leprechaun and the Lesbian"

• Prize Task: Hippest Item Of Headwear
  • Winner: Sally - a pair of hip-bones attached to a white balaclava and a beret (5 points).
  • Bob - a rough woollen hat given to him by comedy partner Vic Reeves, described as "a military hat from a future war" (4 points)
  • Aisling - a hat made out of Yorkshire pudding, modeled by Dave Gorman (3 points)
  • Mark - a custom-made "Taskmaster" hat with a neon sign that read "Taskmaster", which cost £400 (2 points)
  • Nish - a baseball cap with "NISHI" printed on it, purchased by his father at Disneyland (1 point)

• Task 1: Make The Best Coconut Flinging Machine. Furthest Distance Achieved By A Coconut Wins
  • Winner: Bob (5 points)
  • Sally (4 points)
  • Nish (3 points)
  • Aisling (2 points)
  • Mark (2 points)^note technically reached the furthest distance, but threw his coconut in a hat, which was deemed "not a machine"

• Task 2: Paint The Best Rainbow Scene In A Dark Room. You May Not Open The Door Until The Task Is Complete
  • Winner: Aisling (5 points)
  • Sally (4 points)
  • Mark (3 points)^note the only contestant to realise the rules didn't preclude turning the lights on
  • Nish (2 points)^note the only contestant to realise the paints were infused with scents related to their colours
  • Bob (1 point)

• Task 3: Slice The Loaf Of Bread In The Lab As Neatly As Possible With One (Non-Knife) Tool Found In The Caravan
  • Winner: Nish (5 points)^note used "Through the Christian Year", a book of poetry
  • Mark (4 points)^note used a grill tray
  • Aisling, Bob and Sally (Disqualified)^note Aisling failed to read the task carefully and sliced a loaf of bread found in the caravan; Bob and Sally brought and used multiple items

• Task 4: Team Task - Achieve The Greatest Splat Upon One Of Your Teammates
  • Winner: Mark and Nish (3 points)
  • Aisling, Bob and Sally (2 points)

• Live Task: With Your Face Placed Firmly In The Hole Of A Canvas At All Times, Paint The Most Accurate Representation Of An Animal/Mineral/Vegetable (That Incorporates Your Face)
  • Joint Winners: Aisling, Mark, Nish and Sally (5 points)
    • Aisling - "a cat with a giant penis"
    • Mark, Nish and Sally - a carrot
  • Bob - an ice cream cone (4 points)^note deducted one point because his painting was not immediately recognisable.

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Sally Phillips (20 points)
  2. Mark Watson and Nish Kumar (19 points)
  3. Aisling Bea (17 points)
  4. Bob Mortimer (16 points)

Episode 3 - "Phoenix"

• Prize Task: Thing You're Proudest Of
  • Winner: Bob - the spirometer he was given to re-inflate his lungs after major surgery (5 points)
  • Sally (4 points) - a photograph of her (purportedly) before the Icelandic Parliament, where she had apparently been named for her contribution to research leading to the formation of a committee "to rethink how women are treated in pregnancy"^note although the Taskmaster clearly suspects this to be a lie, and Sally hints that this is indeed the case, as there's no actual proof he awards her points regardless
  • Aisling (3 points) - the Irish flag cape she wore during a professional wrestling bout
  • Mark (2 points) - the trophy he won on Celebrity Mastermind
  • Nish (1 points) - a cricket trophy he won when he was eleven for "Clubman of the Year", which is apparently awarded to the member who shows the most enthusiasm "in the face of overwhelming lack of ability"

• Task 1: Remove The Table Tennis Ball From The Pipe Without Moving The Pipe. Fastest Wins
  • Winner: Bob - 8 min 13 sec (5 points)
  • Sally - just under 13 mins (4 points)
  • Mark - 23 min 10 sec (3 points)
  • Nish - 44 min 6 sec (2 points)
  • Aisling (Disqualified)^note moved the pipe

• Task 2: Make This Coconut Look Like A Businessman^note or Businessperson, after Aisling objects to the male-centred language
  • Winner: Nish (5 points)
  • Mark (4 points)
  • Aisling (3 points)
  • Sally (2 points)
  • Bob (1 point)

• Task 3: Complete All Three Provided Tasks In Any Order^note Throw one of the provided foodstuffs (Twiglet, Weetabix, and a jelly) into a bucket from behind a red rope; balance another of the provided foodstuffs on the pole provided; eat another of the provided foodstuffs the quickest
  • Winner: Sally - 2 min 1 sec (5 points)^note threw the jelly into the bucket, ate the Twiglet and balanced the Weetabix
  • Bob - 4 min (4 points)^note threw the Weetabix into the bucket, ate the Twiglet and balanced the jelly
  • Mark - 4 min 20 sec (3 points)^note threw the Twiglet into the bucket, ate the jelly and balanced the Weetabix
  • Aisling - 4 min 30 sec (2 points)^note threw the Twiglet into the bucket, ate the Weetabix and balanced the jelly
  • Nish (Disqualified)^note failed to complete the tasks; his Weetabix disintegrated through multiple missed throws and Nish accidentally crushing it in his hand

• Live Task: Table Tennis With Words^note when the ball (controlled by the Taskmaster's Assistant) is within striking distance, each contestant must say a word beginning with the last letter of the word the previous contestant used. The condition that contestants were not allowed to repeat previously-used words was added when the contestants protested it hadn't been part of the declared rules, but the Taskmaster and his Assistant feared that the game would never end if they allowed it.
  • Winner: Aisling (5 points)
  • Nish (4 points)
  • Mark (3 points)
  • Bob (2 points)
  • Sally (1 point)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Bob Mortimer (17 points)
  2. Sally Phillips (16 points)
  3. Mark Watson (15 points)
  4. Aisling Bea (13 points)
  5. Nish Kumar (12 points)

Episode 4 - "Residue Around the Hoof"

• Prize Task: Most Extraordinary Souvenir
  • Winner: Aisling - her baby teeth, kept by her mother (5 points)
  • Nish - a man-made leaf secured from the set of The Lord of the Rings in New Zealand (4 points)
  • Sally - a copy of ABBA Monopoly (3 points)
  • Mark - a t-shirt from Kuwait to commemorate a time when he planned to visit but wasn't actually allowed into the country (2 points)
  • Bob - a stuffed Woody Woodpecker Bob won for his children (1 point)

• Task 1: Make Your Own Marmite. The Best Marmite Wins^note Conceived by eventual Series 17 contestant John Robins
  • Winner: Bob (5 points)
  • Mark (4 points)
  • Aisling (3 points)
  • Sally (2 points)
  • Nish (Disqualified)^note used actual Marmite in making his Marmite

• Task 2: Team Task - Do Something Remarkable Synchronised
  • Winner: Aisling, Bob and Sally (3 points)
  • Mark and Nish (2 points)

• Task 3a: Blow Up A Balloon So That Its Circumference Is The Same As The Length Of A Standard Cucumber While Blindfolded...
  • Winner: Mark (5 points)
  • Bob (4 points)
  • Aisling (3 points)
  • Sally (2 points)
  • Nish (1 points)

• Task 3b: ... And Then Spot The Differences In The Backdrop That Were Made While You Were Completing The Former Task
  • Winner: Aisling (5 points)
  • Nish and Mark (3 points)
  • Bob and Sally (2 points)

• Task 4: First To Sneeze Wins
  • Winner: Bob (5 points)
  • Mark (4 points)^note was unable to sneeze in the Taskmaster house, but promised to send footage of himself sneezing in the next 48 hours. Mark ended up sending 7 videos of him with his distinctive sneeze.
  • Aisling, Nish and Sally (Disqualified)^note Aisling and Sally faked sneezes, while Nish gave up before sneezing

• Live Task: Greg Says, Alex Says^note Basically "Simon Says", except the contestants have a foot wearing a spiked sandal raised over a balloon at all times; any contestant who pops the balloon is removed from play. "Greg Says" indicates an action the contestant should perform, "Alex Says" indicates an action they shouldn't.
  • Winner: Aisling (5 points)
  • Mark (4 points)
  • Sally (3 points)
  • Nish (2 points)
  • Bob (1 point)

• Tiebreaker: Backthrow A Swede^note a picture of a Swedish person Into A Bin While Staring At A Picture Of The Taskmaster
  • Winner: Mark (1 point)^note Tiebreakers are not technically worth points and so do not count towards the overall episode and season tally; it is included here simply for the purposes of clarifying the winner
  • Aisling (0 points)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Mark Watson (24 points +1 tiebreaker)
  2. Aisling Bea (24 points)
  3. Bob Mortimer (21 points)
  4. Sally Phillips (15 points)
  5. Nish Kumar (12 points)

Episode 5 - "A Wind-Dried Puffin"

• Prize Task: Most High-Octane Item
  • Winner: Sally - high-octane pig feed designed to super-charge the growth of pigs, illegal in the UK (5 points)
  • Bob - a "rocket bike" made for his son (4 points)
  • Aisling - a rake with a custard pie balanced on the end (3 points)
  • Nish - a "mobile phone hands-free kit" (namely, a rubber band worn around the head) (2 points)
  • Mark - a pair of the Taskmaster's trousers, stolen from a gig with the help of Ed Gamble (1 point)

• Task 1: Put The Biggest Thing Inside This Balloon, Then Inflate And Tie It So That It Is Larger Than Your Head
  • Winner: Aisling - the ingredients for a bruschetta (5 points)^note Aisling is unable to blow up balloons, so she asked the sound man to blow up and tie her balloon for her
  • Mark - a small pebble (4 points)^note Mark is afraid of balloons, so he asked the sound man to blow up and tie his balloon for him
  • Bob, Sally and Nish (Disqualified)^note Bob and Sally failed to tie the balloon before the time run out, while Nish popped the balloon while inflating it

• Task 2: Generate The Most Remarkable Water-Cooler Moment Involving This Water-Cooler
  • Winner: Sally - simulated a one-night stand with the water-cooler (5 points)
  • Nish - unimpressively tried to karate-kick the water-cooler (4 points)
  • Bob - broke an apple found on top of the water-cooler into two perfect halves with his bare hands^note points deducted as Bob had already demonstrated this ability on Would I Lie to You? which had itself subsequently became a water-cooler moment; furthermore, the Taskmaster had also been on the same episode and had already seen it (3 points)
  • Aisling - tried to create a Visual Pun on "water-cooler moment", but accidentally smashed the water-cooler in the process (2 points)
  • Mark - tried to send the water-cooler around the world to get it signed and photographed on Instagram^note the water cooler was passed around to 4 different people until the crew lost track of it... in southeast London (1 points)

• Trick Task: Send An Anonymous Cheeky Text To The Taskmaster Every Day For The Next Five Months
  • Victim: Mark (0 points)^note Mark only sent 148 texts out of the requisite 150

• Task 3: Make The Tallest Tower Of Cans While, Every Ten Seconds, Introducing Yourself As Coming From A Different Country Before The Taskmaster's Assistant Blows His Whistle^note contestants were instructed to tie themselves to the table on which the cans were placed before reading the task; part of the "introductions" involved shaking hands with the Taskmaster's Assistant
  • Winner: Bob^note the only contestant to realise that the rules didn't preclude untying himself from the table and Mark (5 points)
  • Nish (3 points)
  • Sally (2 points)^note Sally kept repeating countries and non-countries
  • Aisling (1 point)^note it wasn't until watching back the footage that the crew realised Aisling had missed the first "introduction"; they'd continued for 61 introductions and Aisling stacked a 10-can tall tower at one point

• Live Task: Find The Finns. Each Contestant Gets One Question To Ask One Finn
  • Winner: Mark (5 points)
  • Aisling and Nish (4 points)
  • Bob and Sally (2 points)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Mark Watson (16 points)
  2. Aisling Bea (15 points)
  3. Bob Mortimer and Sally Phillips (14 points)
  4. Nish Kumar (13 points)

Episode 6 - "Spoony Neeson"

• Prize Task: Best Thing They've Made Themselves
  • Winner: Bob - a "sausage/porkpie presentation unit" he invented to encourage his children to eat cheaper meat (5 points)
  • Aisling - one of her vegetarian sausage rolls (4 points)
  • Nish - a t-shirt with the faces of current cast photoshopped onto The Magnificent Seven, called "The Taskmaster Seven" (3 points)
  • Sally - a "birdbath"^note actually a plunger with some flowers draped around it (2 points)
  • Mark - an incomplete 4000-piece jigsaw puzzle of the Taskmaster's face (1 point)

• Task 1: Balance The Taskmaster's Assistant. Most Balanced Assistant Wins
  • Winner: Nish (5 points)
  • Sally (4 points)
  • Aisling (3 points)^note Aisling attempted to wedge the end of that seesaw by tying string to the Assistant's car. Although it wasn't successful and couldn't be weighed, points were given for creativity.
  • Bob (2 points)
  • Mark (1 point)

• Task 2: With This Camera Strapped To Your Head, Record The Most Incredible Footage
  • Winner: Sally - a simulation of giving birth from the perspective of the foetus (played by the Taskmaster's Assistant) (5 points)
  • Aisling, Bob and Mark (4 points)
    • Aisling - Took, a parody of Taken starring "Spoony Neeson"^note a spoon and a drumstick taped together with a face drawn on, given a Northern Irish accent by Aisling
    • Bob - Cheeze, a surreal short film involving a man discovering another man with his face in a box of Cheesy Puffs (4 points)
    • Mark - a first-person perspective of him watching a first-person perspective of a downhill mountain-bike speedride on YouTube
  • Nish - a short film of him completing a Sudoku puzzle^note according to the Taskmaster — who irritably took him aside to berate him after his less-than-impressive offering — he didn't even bother filling the sudoku correctly (1 point)

• Trick Task: Have Your Photo Taken With This Golden Pineapple In Other Esteemed Company
  • Victim: Aisling (0 points)^note The task backfired on both the production team and Aisling; the production team expected Aisling to keep ahold of the pineapple and didn't expect her to post it to someone else, while Aisling — who posted it to her mum — was baffled when her mother just took photos of it around town using her iPad.

• Task 3: Using The Flame Of A Cupcake Candle, Light The Candle In The Caravan (Navigating The Extinguishing Obstacles To Do So)
  • Winner: Bob (5 points)^note Bob was the only contestant to successfully complete the task
  • Sally (3 points)^note retrieved a glass jar from the living room to shelter her flame, but dropped it on the cupcake while trying to open the caravan door
  • Nish (2 points)^note extinguished the flame with his breath from swearing when encountering the bubble obstacle at the front door
  • Aisling (1 point)^note extinguished the flame with the windrush from opening the lab door

• Trick Task: The Above, But Do Not Say Any Words That Contain Letters In The Word "Taskmaster" While Doing So
  • Victim: Mark (4 points)^note kept his candle alight far longer than any of the others, but spent most of that time trying to think of words he could say and his candle went out before he left the house

• Live Task: Make Yourself Monotone
  • Winner: Aisling (5 points)
  • Sally (4 points)
  • Mark (3 points)
  • Bob (2 points)
  • Nish (1 point)

• Tiebreaker: Kick The Yoghurt At The Target (Closest To The Middle Wins)^note as neither contestant completed the task, the Taskmaster ultimately threw the decision to an audience member... then selected the contestant the audience member didn't pick
  • Winner: Sally (1 point)^note Tiebreakers are not technically worth points and so do not count towards the overall episode and season tally; it is included here simply for the purposes of clarifying the winner
  • Bob (0 points)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Sally Phillips (18 points +1 tiebreaker)
  2. Bob Mortimer (18 points)
  3. Aisling Bea (17 points)
  4. Mark Watson (13 points)
  5. Nish Kumar (12 points)

Episode 7 - "Boing Boing"

• Prize Task: Most Surprisingly Expensive Item
  • Winner: Mark Watson - a garden gate that cost him £18,000^note the gate led into a private communal garden, meaning he had to pay for membership to the local resident's association as well; the Taskmaster had guessed £88 for the gate itself and £75 for the labour to install it (5 points)
  • Sally - one of Bob Mortimer's faeces , estimated at between £10,000 and £15,000 in value due to Bob's celebrity status^{To explain...}Bob had agreed to donate a sample to be professionally freeze-dried and placed in a resin sphere like an exhibit at the National Poo Museum on the Isle of Wight. As the process hadn't been started at the time of the recording, Sally brought in freeze-dried fox poo in a resin sphere, valued at £800, for the episode's winner to take home. The Taskmaster guessed that Bob's turd would be worth around £199. And yes, by the way, the Museum actually exists. (4 points)
  • Aisling and Bob (3 points)
    • Aisling - a £25 voucher granting access to the business lounge of Belfast International Airport, which Aisling had previously used for a thirteen minute nap^note this would come to an overall value of £1.92 per minute; the Taskmaster had guessed £40
    • Bob - A completed 2014 World Cup sticker book valued at £10^note though the book and a single copy of each sticker would cost at minimum £64, and more likely an average of £314 when factoring in duplicates; the Taskmaster guessed £20. For what it's worth, Bob received one more point for his sticker book than Rob Beckett received for the similar sticker book he brought in for the "Most Shiny Item" prize round in series 2. (3 points)
  • Nish - €100, which based on the exchange rate between the Euro and the Pound Sterling at time of recording came to £91^note the Taskmaster guessed it would be about £88 (1 point)

• Task 1: Wearing A Blindfold, Travel As Far As Possible In Three Minutes Then Make Your Way Back To The Start (Use Of Bread Optional)
  • Winner: Bob^note who was also the only contestant to immediately figure out he could use the bread to make a trail back to the start; travelled 54m and returned almost exactly to the starting position (5 points)
  • Aisling^note travelled 200m, returned in the correct direction and ended up 64m from the start (4 points)
  • Sally^note travelled 220m, returned in vaguely the correct direction and ended up 74m from the start (3 points)
  • Mark^note apparently the bread he dropped had been eaten by a dog that happened upon the task in progress; travelled 70m, then carried on in the wrong direction and ended up 140m from the start (2 points)
  • Nish^note travelled 15m (300 paces, but in circles), then went in a straight line in the wrong direction and ended up 195m from the start (1 point)

• Task 2: Muster The Biggest Coconut Bobsled Team Using Only Items Provided In The Caravan. You Will Be Disqualified If You Use The Same Item(s) As Another Contestant
  • Winner: Aisling (5 points)
  • Nish (4 points)
  • Mark (3 points)
  • Sally and Bob (Disqualified)^note both used the curtain; however, as Bob technically didn't put his coconuts on the "bobsled", he would have been disqualified regardless

• Task 3: Vote For Which Contestant Should Receive Five Bonus Points. You May Vote For Yourself, But If You Fail You Will Lose Two Points
  • Winner: Sally^note voted for Bob; also correctly predicted how Mark and Nish would vote (5 points)
  • Aisling and Bob^note both voted for Sally (0 points)
  • Mark and Nish (-2 points)^note voted for themselves when no one else did

• Task 4: Make A Life-Sized Flick Book Film
  • Joint Winner: Bob and Nish (5 points)
    • Bob - "How to Peel A Banana"
    • Nish - "A Cautionary Tale For Cats"
  • Aisling, Mark and Sally (3 points)
    • Aisling - "An allegory for her romantic relationships to date"
    • Mark - "The Friends"
    • Sally - "Le Chat Est Boing Boing"

• Live Task: Send The Most Things To The Taskmaster Via Zipline
  • Winner: Bob (5 points)
  • Mark (4 points)
  • Nish (3 points)
  • Aisling (2 points)
  • Sally (1 point)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Bob Mortimer (18 points)
  2. Aisling Bea (17 points)
  3. Sally Phillips (16 points)
  4. Mark Watson (15 points)
  5. Nish Kumar (12 points)

Episode 8 - "Their Water's So Delicious"

• Prize Task: Most Awkward Item For Someone To Take Home
  • Winner: Mark - a bathroom suite (5 points)
  • Nish - 14kg of curry in a giant open wok (4 points)
  • Sally - 100 helium balloons (3 points)
  • Aisling - a cardboard cut-out of herself doing a thumbs-up (2 points)
  • Bob - a hat and t-shirt celebrating Donald Trump and controversial conservative pundit Katie Hopkins (1 point)

• Task 1: Get This Coconut As Far From The House In Twenty Minutes Without Touching The Ground, Touching Anything Touching The Ground More Than Once, Or Sending The Coconut By Car
  • Winner: Sally (5 points)
  • Bob (4 points)
  • Aisling (3 points)
  • Nish (2 points)
  • Mark (Disqualified)^note managed to get out of the house without touching the ground and had a crewmember give him a piggyback ride to the river — only to step on the ground when he got there

• Task 2: Create The Best Graph
  • Winner: Nish - amount of fun had according to time spent in Nish's company (5 points)
  • Bob - total amount of urine produced in different UK counties by "units of piss" (4 points)
  • Aisling, Mark and Sally (3 points)
    • Aisling - gender representation across five series of Taskmaster (which inaccurately suggested gender parity in the first season)
    • Mark - vote share acquired by the major UK political parties across the entire span of human existence
    • Sally - amount of sex wanted by Sally versus amount of sex acquired by Sally across her lifespan

• Trick Task: Make The Most Fish Puns (In A Minute) Versus The Taskmaster's Assistant (Across The Entire Series)^note Sally never picked up on it and simply assumed the Assistant was bad at pronouncing certain words
  • Victim: Sally (0 points)
  • Taskmaster's Assistant: 5 points^note points were declared null and void by the Taskmaster

• Task 3: Team Task - Taskonbury: Write And Perform The Best Song About A Stranger^note Rosalind Using Facts Learned About Her In Five Minutes
  • Winner: Mark and Nish - The Diverse Stripes, "I'm Always Seein' You (Do Cool Stuff)" (3 points)
  • Aisling, Bob and Sally - Products Of Conception, "Quite Good Considering (aka Rosalind's a Fucking Nightmare)" (2 points)

• Live Task: Throw A Single Egg Through A Basketball Hoop And Catch It As Many Times As Possible (Without Touching The Net Or Hoop)
  • Winner: Bob (5 points)^note only contestant to successfully get the egg through the hoop at least once without breaking it
  • Sally (4 points)^note failed to get the egg through the hoop, but the egg did touch the hoop before being broken on a subsequent attempt
  • Aisling, Mark and Nish (Disqualified)^note failed to get the egg through the hoop at all before breaking it

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Sally Phillips (17 points)
  2. Bob Mortimer (16 points)
  3. Nish Kumar (14 points)
  4. Mark Watson (11 points)
  5. Aisling Bea (10 points)

Episode Tally

• Bob Mortimer and Sally Phillips - 3 episodes
  • Bob (Episodes 1, 3 and 7)
  • Sally (Episodes 2, 6 and 8)
• Mark Watson - 2 episodes (Episodes 4 and 5)
• Aisling Bea and Nish Kumar - 0 episodes

This season marks the first (and, as of Series 13, only) time more than one contestant has failed to win a single episode. It also marks the second time a series champion has tied with another contestant for amount of episodes. This series is the first where no contestant scored less than double digits in a single episode.

Task Tally

A breakdown of the tasks as won by the contestants is as follows:

• Bob Mortimer: 15 tasks (2 prize tasks, 10 video tasks [1 joint with Mark, 1 joint with Nish], 1 video team task, 2 live tasks)
• Mark Watson: 11 tasks (3 prize tasks, 2 video tasks [1 joint with Bob], 2 team video tasks, 3 live tasks [1 joint with Aisling, Nish, and Sally], 1 tiebreaker)
• Aisling Bea and Sally Phillips: 10 tasks
  • Aisling: 1 prize task, 4 video tasks, 1 video team task, 4 live tasks [1 joint with Mark, Nish, and Sally]
  • Sally: 10 tasks (2 prize tasks, 5 video tasks, 1 video team task, 1 live task [joint with Aisling, Mark, and Nish], 1 tiebreaker)
• Nish Kumar: 9 tasks (6 video tasks [1 joint with Bob], 2 team video tasks, 1 live task [joint with Aisling, Mark, and Sally])

Episode Titles

Each episode is a Title Drop made by either a participant in the show, the Taskmaster, or the Taskmaster's Assistant. In this series, the titles were provided by:

• Episode 1: Aisling Bea (sung while dancing in her underpants and celebrating her successful completion of the "get the Taskmaster's Assistant from the middle of a lake to shore as quickly and elegantly as possible" task: "Dignity intact! Dignity intact!")
• Episode 2: The Taskmaster's Assistant (describing the participants in Aisling Bea and Sally Phillips' submissions for the "paint the best rainbow in the dark" task while summing them up for scoring: "It's between the leprechaun and the lesbian.")
• Episode 3: The Taskmaster's Assistant (a word introduced in the "play table tennis with words" live task, which resulted in Bob Mortimer being knocked out.)
• Episode 4: Bob Mortimer (suggested during discussion of his claim that Marmite is produced by "putting a cow in a room until it withers": "Forty days, and you get your first residue around the hoof.")
• Episode 5: Bob Mortimer (his question to the participants in the "find the Finns" live task: "Have you ever seen or eaten a wind-dried puffin?"
• Episode 6: Aisling Bea (her name given both to her submission for the "make the best POV film" task and the title character of said film.)
• Episode 7: Sally Phillips (dialogue from her submission for the "best stop-motion flip book" task: "Le chat es boing boing!")
• Episode 8: Bob Mortimer (his explanation for why the largest amount of human urine in the United Kingdom is produced by the residents of Scotland, and specifically the county of Dumfries and Galloway, delivered in a Scottish accent: "It's because their water's so delicious!")

This is the second series in which the Taskmaster himself has not contributed an episode title, and in which more than two contestants have done so. It is also the only series in which two contestants have equalled the amount of episodes they have named while also naming more than one episode.

Series Ranking

1. Winner: Bob Mortimer (138 points)
2. Sally Phillips and Mark Watson (130 points)
3. Aisling Bea (126 points)
4. Nish Kumar (107 points)

This is the second series where two contestants have earned the same amount of points, and where both contestants have come second. It is the first and only eight-episode series where this has happened.