Recap / Taskmaster Series Eight

Taskmaster recap index
British series:
Series: One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve | Thirteen | Fourteen | Fifteen | Sixteen | Seventeen
Specials: Champion of Champions | New Year Treats and One-Offs
New Zealand series:
Seasons: One | Two | Three | Four
Australian series:
Seasons: One

Cast

From left to right: Lou Sanders, Iain Stirling, Greg Davies (seated), Sian Gibson, Alex Horne (crouching), Paul Sinha, Joe Thomas

• Taskmaster: Greg Davies
• Taskmaster's Assistant: Alex Horne
• Contestants: Iain Stirling, Joe Thomas, Lou Sanders, Paul Sinha, Sian Gibson
• Teams:
  • Joe Thomas and Sian Gibson ("The Actors")
  • Iain Stirling, Lou Sanders and Paul Sinha ("The Fun Guys")

This page contains unmarked spoilers for the series in question. If you haven't seen the series yet, you are recommended to leave the page now. You have been warned.

Episodes

Episode 1 - "Hello"

• Prize Task: Most Powerful Smell (Which Is Pleasing To The Taskmaster)^note the part of the task in brackets wasn't explicitly stated in the task requirements but assumed by the Taskmaster
  • Winner: Lou - a perfume of her own devising entitled "Greg Davies All Over Your Neck", with the scents chosen in tribute to the Taskmaster (5 points)
  • Paul and Sian (3 points)
    • Paul - cider vinegar
    • Sian - perm lotion
  • Iain - his farts, bottled^note reportedly the result of a combination Gregg's sausage roll / McDonalds lunch after a night's heavy drinking (2 points)
  • Joe - the smell a tomato releases when you remove the stalk (1 point)

• Task 1: Find The Receiver To This Baby Monitor. You Must Not Remove Your Hard Hat^note the baby monitor was initially attached to the hard hat via a pole, but the rules did not prevent contestants from detaching the baby monitor.
  • Winner: Iain (5 points)
  • Sian (4 points)
  • Joe (3 points)
  • Lou (2 points)
  • Paul (1 point)

• Task 2: Make A Ventriloquist's Dummy And Be Chatted Up By It. Most Seductive Ventriloquist Dummy Wins
  • Winner: Iain (5 points)
  • Lou, Paul and Sian (4 points)
  • Joe (1 point)^note ended up destroying his puppet

• Task 3: Train Station Statues^note The Taskmaster's Assistant is on a bridge at one end of a train station at the Buckinghamshire Railway Centre, while the contestant starts at a bridge on the other side. The contestant must make their way to the Assistant's position without being spotted. The Assistant will duck down after ten seconds, then stand up after ten seconds, and then repeat until either the contestant reaches the Assistant or is caught; a siren is made to indicate when the switch is made.
  • Winner: Joe - within 1 metre (5 points)^note Joe was the only contestant to actually reach the Assistant
  • Iain and Lou - unstated (within 24 metres) (4 points)^note Both were caught at the top of the steps to the bridge that the Assistant was standing on; Lou kept running for a few metres after being spotted, while Iain simply stopped assuming that he'd reached the finishing point
  • Sian - within 181 metres (2 points)
  • Paul - within 193 metres (1 point)

• Live Task: Get The Greatest Weight Of Donuts In Your Bucket In 100 Seconds Without Moving Your Hands From Your Hips.
  • Winner: Lou (5 points)
  • Iain (4 points)
  • Sian (3 points)
  • Joe (2 points)
  • Paul (1 point)

• Tiebreaker: Peel A Banana With Only Your Feet Without Damaging The Banana
  • Winner: Iain (1 point)
  • Lou (0 points)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Iain Stirling (20 points +1 tiebreaker)^note Tiebreakers are not technically worth points and so do not count towards the overall episode and season tally; it is included here simply for the purposes of clarifying the winner
  2. Lou Sanders (20 points)
  3. Sian Gibson (16 points)
  4. Joe Thomas (11 points)
  5. Paul Sinha (10 points)

Episode 2 - "A Novel About Russian Gulags"

• Prize Task: Best Pair Of Things
  • Winner: Sian - a pair of pop-socks allegedly once belonging to Dame Shirley Bassey (5 points)
  • Iain and Paul (4 points)
    • Iain - a congratulatory song to the winner of the prize task written and sung by entertainment double-act Dick & Dom
    • Paul - an accidentally-suggestive painting of two pandas, given to him by his parents (who are allegedly unable to see the innuendo) as a housewarming gift
  • Lou - a pair of breast-shaped slippers with walkman radios attached via rubber bands (3 points)
  • Joe - a pair of "diamond earrings"^note actually worth £2.21 (1 point)

• Task 1: Make The Most Convincing False Moustache (From A Distance) Out Of The Most Unexpected Ingredients. Most Unexpected Moustache Wins
  • Winner: Paul - sturgeon caviar (5 points)
  • Lou - fake flies and real mealworms (4 points)
  • Joe - pictures of various moustaches pasted together in a collage (3 points)
  • Iain - a map of Liphook, a small village in Hampshire, with Iain's face stuck on it (2 points)
  • Sian - pictures of the Taskmaster's Assistant surrounded by hair from a Barbie doll (1 point)

• Task 2: Get This Rice Into The Bottle In The Living Room Using Only The Shopping Basket And Its Contents To Transport It. You May Not Move The Bottle Out Of The Living Room Or Touch The Rice With Anything Not In The Shopping Trolley. Most Grains In The Bottle Wins
  • Winner: Joe (5 points)
  • Lou (4 points)
  • Iain (3 points)
  • Sian (2 points)
  • Paul (Disqualified +1 bonus point)^note Paul removed the bottle from the living room and took it into the lab. However, as he was honest and gracious about his mistake, the Taskmaster awarded him a bonus point.

• Task 3: Team Task - Tell Your Teammate(s) What Is In The Chest^note a compass Without Speaking. You May Only Use The Approved Methods Of Communication During The Appropriate Times^note in the first minute, only facial expressions were permitted. In the second minute, only noises were permitted. In the third minute, only shouted adjectives were permitted. After that point, only whispered verbs were permitted.
  • Winner: Joe and Sian (3 points)
  • Iain, Lou and Paul (2 points)

• Task 4: Travel The Furthest Distance While Making A Constant Noise With Your Mouth
  • Winner: Joe (5 points)
  • Lou (4 points)
  • Sian (3 points)
  • Paul (2 points)
  • Iain (1 point)^note Iain decided to beatbox, but since there were pauses in between, only the first metre that he ran was counted

• Live Task: Say A Species Of Bird, Eat A Grape And Shout A Competitor's Name Within Five Seconds Of Hearing Your Own Name. You Must Say A Different Species Of Bird Each Time. Last Contestant Standing Wins
  • Winner: Paul (5 points)
  • Lou (4 points)
  • Joe (3 points)
  • Sian (2 points)
  • Iain (1 point)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Lou Sanders (21 points)
  2. Joe Thomas (20 points)
  3. Paul Sinha (19 points)
  4. Sian Gibson (16 points)
  5. Iain Stirling (13 points)

This is the second episode in which the winner has won the episode without winning any of the tasks.

Episode 3 - "Stuck In A Mammal Groove"

• Prize Task: Best Burstable Item
  • Winner: Sian - a recreation of a blister she developed on her bottom after she participated in a "Zumba-thon" (5 points)
  • Paul - a yellow balloon his aunt gave to his five-year-old nephew that he maintains is unacceptably phallic for children, though the others disagree (4 points)
  • Iain - a teddy bear with a recording of him singing that "bursts" into song (3 points)
  • Joe - a grape (2 points)
  • Lou - a creme brulee with the Taskmaster's face printed on the seal on top of a sealed jar of coffee, with both seals ready to "burst" (1 point)

• Task 1: Build The Best Volcano
  • Winner: Joe and Lou (5 points)
  • Paul (3 points)
  • Iain and Sian (2 points)

• Task 2: Work Out What The Taskmaster's Assistant Is Wearing^note a parrot costume In The Train Compartment Next Door Without Leaving Your Seat. The Taskmaster's Assistant May Only Communicate With "Alex Horne's Horn"
  • Winner: Sian (5 points)
  • Lou (4 points)
  • Iain (3 points)
  • Paul (2 points)
  • Joe (Disqualified)^note failed to guess what the Taskmaster's Assistant was wearing

• Task 3: In Twenty Minutes You Must Apologise To The Taskmaster's Assistant For Something You Have Done. Best Apology For Worst Thing Wins
  • Winner: Lou - made a mess of the Taskmaster's Assistant's car and smashed a water balloon over his head, then "apologised" by signing him up to a variety of annoying and intrusive cold-callers — with his real number (5 points)
  • Iain - sang a song apologising for hitting the Taskmaster's Assistant with a cream pie, after hitting him with a cream pie (4 points)
  • Sian - brought in a biscuit and some sweets for sending a rude edited photo of the Taskmaster's Assistant to the Taskmaster on his phone (3 points)
  • Joe - apologised for a song he wrote and recorded on the Taskmaster's Assistant's phone about how wonderful the Taskmaster's Assistant's death would be (2 points)
  • Paul - apologised for stress-eating and emptying the fridge of the Taskmaster House... in a rather sinister manner (1 point)

• Live Task: Get Fully Into One Sleeping Bag, Stand To Attention And Salute The Taskmaster, Then Get Fully Into A Second Sleeping Bag Without Taking The First Sleeping Bag Off, Then Skip Once
  • Winner: Iain (5 points)
  • Lou (4 points)
  • Joe, Paul and Sian (1 point)^note did not salute the Taskmaster for the full 5 seconds

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Lou Sanders (19 points)
  2. Iain Stirling (17 points)
  3. Sian Gibson (16 points)
  4. Paul Sinha (11 points)
  5. Joe Thomas (10 points)

Episode 4 - "The Barrel Dad"

• Prize Task: Best Present For A Doctor
  • Winner: Sian - a "rating system" that the doctor can wear on a shirt, similar to a fast-food employee (5 points)
  • Joe - a BMX (4 points)
  • Lou - a herb garden and a bottle of whiskey (3 points)
  • Iain and Paul (1 point)^note Iain complained when Paul, a former GP, remarked that he'd personally put Iain's prize in last place and Joe's in first, accusing Paul of sabotaging everyone else and not even giving himself the prize; the Taskmaster put them both in last place purely to wind Iain up further
    • Iain - a "big-night-out" kit to facilitate the doctor's rampant alcohol-fueled lifestyle, including glow-sticks, a "Carnage UK" t-shirt, a cocktail mixer and some vodka
    • Paul - a beanie and fake beard, to be worn so that the doctor is not bothered by people requiring medical assistance on flights

• Task 1: Get The Loo Roll Through The Toilet Seat^note suspended in the air in the garden. You May Not Lower The Toilet Seat
  • Winner: Iain (5 points)^note got the cardboard bit through the indoor toilet seat
  • Lou (4 points)
  • Joe (3 points +1 bonus point)^note bonus point awarded as Joe was the only contestant to get the entire loo roll through either the hanging toilet seat or the toilet seat in the house
  • Sian (2 points)
  • Paul (1 point)^note got the paper bits through the indoor toilet seat

• Task 2: Make The Best Thing To Engage A Toddler^note Nell, then-2-year-old daughter of series producer Andy Cartwright. The Toddler Will Have Five Minutes With Your Thing. Most Engaged Toddler Wins
  • Winner: Paul and Sian (5 points)
    • Paul - a tray full of plastic ducks and a plastic thresher shark, intended to replicate "the existential terror of a mother duck having her brood taken away"
    • Sian - "Fairy Sian", a dance video on an iPad contained within a box
  • Iain and Joe (4 points)
    • Iain - "Claire", a home-made robot puppet made out of a wheelie-bag, a fly swat and bubble wrap
    • Joe - "Joe Dough", a squishy home-made dough
  • Lou - "Lucky Ducky", a large plastic duck hollowed out to form a pinata^note Nell apparently saw the sweets inside the Lucky Ducky, but didn't take any of them (3 points)

• Task 3: Team Task - Put The Most Weight In The Hammock Without Anything Falling Out Of The Hammock. If Anything Falls Out Of The Hammock You Are Disqualified
  • Winner: N/A
  • Joe and Sian (3 points)^note points deducted as the hammock was not suspended from anything, meaning it was not technically a hammock
  • Iain, Lou and Paul (Disqualified)^note a book fell out of the hammock, despite Lou's attempts to catch it

• Live Task: Choose A Hoop You Think You Can Throw A Frying Pan Into, And A Distance You Think You Can Throw The Frying Pan^note Contestants who choose the big hoop have one attempt, contestants who choose the medium hoop have two attempts, contestants who choose the small hoop have three attempts. The Contestant Who Gets The Most Of Their Frying Pan Into The Hoop From The Furthest Distance Wins
  • Winner: Lou (5 points)
  • Paul (4 points)
  • Iain, Joe and Sian (Disqualified)^note each failed to get their pan into the hoop, though Iain's was hanging just off the end

• Tiebreaker: Standing Behind A Rope, Use A Whip To Knock A Bottle Off A Barrel
  • Winner: Sian (1 point)
  • Joe and Lou (0 points)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Sian Gibson (15 points +1 tiebreaker)^note Tiebreakers are not technically worth points and so do not count towards the overall episode and season tally; it is included here simply for the purposes of clarifying the winner
  2. Joe Thomas and Lou Sanders (15 points)
  3. Paul Sinha (11 points)
  4. Iain Stirling (10 points)

The episode marks the second time an episode has had a three-way tie.

Episode 5 - "Stay Humble"

• Prize Task: The Best Face
  • Winner: Iain - a red onesie with a large picture of the Taskmaster's face printed on it, with matching t-shirt and leggings (5 points) ^note the latter two items worn and modelled by Iain in-studio
  • Paul - a two-foot tall cardboard stand-up of his own face, taken three years prior when he weighed over fourteen stone^note roughly 88kg; at time of recording he weighed 11 stone, or roughly 69kg (4 points)
  • Sian - a picture of Templeton "Faceman" Peck from The A-Team (3 points)
  • Lou - a computer-generated simulation of the face that the child she and the Taskmaster would hypothetically conceive (2 points)
  • Joe - a picture of a blobfish (1 point)

• Task 1: Divert The Sand In Bucket A (Attached To Contestant's Wrist) Into Bucket B Using Only The Tools On The Nearby Table. You May Not Touch The Sand, Move The Buckets Or Leave The Room. Your Time Stops When The Sand Stops^note on moving their wrist, the contestant would release the sand from a hole in Bucket A, causing it to pour continuously until empty^{On touching the sand}It proved difficult to not touch the sand once it was pouring, especially for Lou and Sian who accidentally released the sand before they could read the task, and nobody was penalised for it (except Iain, who also broke the other rules).
  • Winner: Lou (5 points)
  • Joe (4 points)
  • Sian (3 points)
  • Paul (2 points)
  • Iain (Disqualified)^note Rage Quit after unwittingly breaking all of the rules one after another

• Task 2: Make The Most Realistic Injury Using Food^note if two or more people use tomato ketchup they are disqualified
  • Winner: Sian - a pen-in-the-neck accident, using breakfast foods (5 points)
  • Iain, Joe and Lou (4 points)
    • Iain - sawn-off leg, using baked beans
    • Joe - an eye injury courtesy of a birthday candle, using birthday cake
    • Lou - legs mangled by a dog, using noodles
  • Paul - vomited blood while doing a crossword that included the answer "blood orange," using ketchup (1 point)

• Task 3: Team Task - Have A Long Distance Game Of "Catch" With This Beach Ball^note one team member must be filmed throwing the ball out of shot at one location, with another team member filmed catching it at another location, then throwing it out of shot again. This continues until the ball fails to leave the shot. Greatest Distance Apparently Covered By The Beach Ball Wins. You Have Two Months
  • Winner: Iain, Lou and Paul (3 points)
    • Paul (+1 bonus point)^note bonus point awarded for Paul's contributions to the chain, which were enough to form their own video and, distance-wise, doubled the distance that Joe and Sian were able to send the beach ball by itself.
  • Joe and Sian, with Special Guest Romesh Ranganathan (2 points)^note Sian and Romesh shot their locations around the set of The Reluctant Landlord and claimed they were in various countries.

• Task 4: Herd The Most Ping-Pong Balls Into The Ping-Pong Pen (At The End Of A Railway Platform) In Ten Minutes. You May Only Touch The Ping-Pong Balls With Either The Basketball, String, Or One Little Finger, And May Not Move The Pens. Most Ping-Pong Balls Successfully Herded Wins^note one of the ping-pong balls was also "Greg's Special Ball", labelled personally by the Taskmaster; including this ball would result in the contestant's final ball total being halved
  • Winner: Iain (5 points)
  • Joe and Lou (4 points)^note both Joe and Lou technically herded more ping-pong balls than Iain, but unwittingly herded the "special ball" as well, resulting in their totals being halved. Both herded the same amount.
  • Sian (2 points)
  • Paul (1 point)

• Live Task: Recreate The Scene In The Box. You Will Parade Past It Once, And Must Be Touching The Person In Front Of You As You Pass. Most Accurate Recreation Wins
  • Winner: Joe (5 points)
  • Iain (4 points)
  • Lou, Paul and Sian (2 points)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Iain Stirling (21 points)
  2. Joe Thomas and Lou Sanders (20 points)
  3. Sian Gibson (17 points)
  4. Paul Sinha (14 points)

Episode 6 - "Rock 'N' Roll Umlaut"

• Prize Task: Best See-Through Item
  • Winner: N/A^note The Taskmaster was deeply unimpressed with the offerings brought in
  • Joe - a window (4 points)
  • Everyone Else (1 point)
    • Iain - a mini-fridge with a glass door, stocked with beer
    • Lou - a self-help book entitled 50 Ways to See Thru People
    • Paul - a hula-hoop
    • Sian - a bottle of gin

• Task 1: Completely Conceal Yourself Within This Red Telephone Box. No Part Of You Or Your Clothing May Be Visible From Outside. Fastest Wins
  • Winner: Iain (5 points)
  • Lou (4 points)
  • Joe and Sian (2 points)^note failed to completely conceal every part of their body
  • Paul (1 point)^note failed to completely conceal himself at all

• Task 2: Team Task - Design The Most Iconic Album Cover. Best Cover, Title And Band Name Wins
  • Winner: Joe and Sian - Shoë^note pronounced "show", Its Too Big^note The 's' in "its" and the 'g' in "big" were given "rock 'n' roll umlauts"(5 points)
  • Iain, Lou and Paul - Lou Sanders and the Lovely Boys, Sssex (2 points)

• Task 3: In Five Minutes, Return The Deck Of Cards You Have Been Given To The Taskmaster's Assistant And Tell The Assistant The Order That The Cards Are Currently In. You May Not Leave The Room During The Five Minutes. Most Correctly Named Cards Wins^note The deck of cards was a special "Taskmaster" deck. The order followed this system: the Clubs in alphabetical order (so Ace, Eight, Five, Four, Jack etc.); the three Kings of the remaining suites in the order of Diamonds, Hearts and Spades; the "Yellow" card; the remaining Hearts in standard order; the "Happy Birthday" card; 2x 15 of Diamonds cards; 15x 2 of Diamonds cards; the "Alex" card featuring the Taskmaster's Assistant; the "Greg" card featuring the Taskmaster. The contestants were provided with a clipboard and paper but no pen; there was a pen attached to the back of the table that none of the contestants found, and Alex reportedly also had a pen in his pocket. Alex also implied that the contestants would have been allowed to borrow the camera on his iPad or make use of the film crew's footage if anybody had asked for them.
  • Winner: Paul - 1 mistake (5 points)
  • Joe - 7 mistakes (4 points)
  • Sian - 13 mistakes (3 points)
  • Iain - 25 mistakes (2 points)
  • Lou (Disqualified)^note Got the cards out of order; left the room to find a pen during the five minutes; despite being allowed to continue, made twelve mistakes after writing down eighteen cards

• Task 4: Score A Goal From The Furthest Distance. You May Take Only One Shot. Failure To Score Means Disqualification. You Must Perform A Brilliant Goal Celebration Whether Or Not You Score; Best Celebration May Receive A Bonus Point^note no celebration was deemed worthy of a bonus point
  • Winner: Sian (5 points)
  • Everyone Else (Disqualified)^note failed to score a goal. In Iain's case, this was despite replacing the rather small provided goal with a professional-size model

• Live Task: Standing Behind The First Line, Roll Your Toilet Roll Past The Second Line. If Your Toilet Roll Fails To Cross The Second Line Or Falls Off The Runway, You Are Eliminated. Then, Remaining Contestants Will Have Their Right Shoe Placed On Their Toilet Paper, And Must Retrieve The Shoe Without Crossing The Line, Knocking The Shoe Off Or Breaking The Toilet Paper. Winner Takes All
  • Winner: Lou (5 points)
  • Joe, Paul, Sian and Iain (0 points)^note Joe and Paul in order of elimination. Sian and Iain in order of whose shoe was furthest from the finish line before Lou finished

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Sian Gibson (15 points)
  2. Joe Thomas (14 points)
  3. Lou Sanders (12 points)
  4. Iain Stirling (10 points)
  5. Paul Sinha (9 points)

Episode 7 - "This Is Trevor"

• Prize Task: Best Slippery Thing
  • Winner: Lou - a children's slide with a drawing of "Nasty Nick" Cotton from Eastenders stuck on it^note who, as Lou pointed out after Joe's entry was revealed, is also a soap character (5 points)
  • Joe and Paul (4 points)
    • ''' Joe - a bar of soap
    • Paul - a banana skin surrounded by "banjelly" pie (banana-flavoured jelly) and a pair of Scooby-Doo slippers
  • Iain - an "Alien in an Egg", a novelty goo-themed toy from the 1990s (3 points)
  • Sian - a pair of slippers (2 points)

• Task 1: Find The Most Pink Ladies^note apples Hidden Under The Bowls^note There were 5 pink ladies in total, hidden among the 9 bowls, along with the green egg and 3 satsumas. One of the bowls had a clue to look at the plastic cow figure, which had two clues (one stating that there were 5 pink ladies, and the other guiding the competitor to the Taskmaster's assistant's clipboard, which asked them to look on the other side of the cow. Moreover, the arrangement of the pink ladies were marked on in a chalk pattern on the pavement, was printed on the train station posters, and was taped to the Taskmaster's assistant's back.. If You Touch Or Move A Bowl You Must Turn It Over. If You Find The Green Egg You Are Disqualified
  • Winner: Joe (5 points)^note Joe noticed the patterns after he gave up looking for more pink ladies, by which time he had already located all 5 pink ladies.
  • Lou (4 points)^note Lou found the patterns during the 20 minutes, but was only able to use it to uncover 4 of the 5 pink ladies before her time ran out.
  • Paul (3 points)
  • Iain and Sian (Disqualified)^note After finding all the pink ladies, Iain uncovered the green egg while "showboating". Sian also found all of the pink ladies through "intuition," but unwittingly moved the bowl containing the green egg and was thus obliged to uncover it.

• Task 2: Choose An Outfit For The Contestant Whose First Name Alphabetically Follows Yours^note so Iain chooses for Joe, Joe for Lou, and so forth, with Sian choosing for Iain. Then, Wearing Your Assigned Outfit, Open These Bags Of Crisps^note each of the outfits involved the contestant's hands being bound or otherwise hampered with heavy gloves or props And Determine What Flavours They Are^note gin and tonic; toothpaste and tomato; burnt toast; vegan chocolate; Giant Refreshers (a type of lemon sherbert confectionary)
  • Winner: Joe^note wearing a boxer's outfit chosen by Iain (5 points)
  • Iain^note wearing a pirate outfit chosen by Sian (4 points)
  • Paul^note wearing a chef's outfit chosen by Lou (3 points)
  • Lou^note wearing a chef's outfit chosen by Joe and Sian^note wearing a Santa costume chosen by Paul (2 points)

• Task 3: Do The Most Powerful Thing With Your Little Finger
  • Winner: Joe - attached a match to his finger and used it to burn away the rope holding a curtain over a framed picture, which simply said "Recycle" (5 points)
  • Iain and Paul (3 points)
    • Iain - donated £8 a month to the charity Mind on his phone, using his little finger to confirm the transaction, then karate-chopped some shortbread
    • Paul - donated £100 to a crowdfunding campaign allowing a newlywed couple to go on honeymoon to America
  • Lou and Sian (2 points)
    • Lou - a performance art piece called Seachange involving her dropping a brick (originally a bowling ball) off a barrel into a bucket full of water, rubber ducks and doll parts using her finger
    • Sian - using her finger (and the miracle of video editing), transformed a stuffed guinea pig (named Trevor) into a real one that was a completely different colour

• Live Task: Team Task - Do Not Release The Green Egg^note A range of numbers from 1-11 are hung on the stage. One number contains a green egg. Each team is asked a question, and a team member must pull down the number they think represents the correct answer. If they guess correctly, the green egg will not be released. A team member must answer the question within thirty seconds. The team which doesn't release the egg wins.
  • Winner: Joe and Sian (5 points)
  • Iain, Lou and Paul (0 points)
    
    This is the second live team task.

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Joe Thomas (24 points)
  2. Lou Sanders and Paul Sinha (13 points)
  3. Sian Gibson (11 points)
  4. Iain Stirling (10 points)

This episode marked the closest that a contestant has come to a "perfect" episode score in the series by that point; Joe would be beaten for this by Dara Ó Briain in Series 14 Episode 2.

Episode 8 - "Aquatic Sewing Machine"

• Prize Task: The Nicest Thing To Hold
  • Winner: Paul - a chess trophy he won as a thirteen year-old and subsequently stole when the school wouldn't let him keep it (5 points)
  • Joe - a recording of a singer "holding" the "ce" while singing the word "Vincero" in Puccini's "Nessun Dorma" (4 points)
  • Iain and Sian (3 points)
    • Iain - £200 in cash
    • Sian - a life-size pillow replica of her that can be used for spooning
  • Lou - a voucher for a sea safari enabling the holder to swim with dolphins (assuming they're present that day), thus representing both "hope" and "dolphins" (2 points)

• Task 1: Make A Picture Of A Former Taskmaster Contestant In The Sandbox, Using Only A Tool You Are Assigned After A Random Dice Throw. Nothing But Air May Touch The Sand
  • Winner: Iain - Sally Phillips, using a pair of bellows^note Iain initially attempted Nish Kumar, but switched halfway through (5 points)
  • Paul - Romesh Ranganathan, using a barbeque blower (4 points)
  • Joe and Lou (2 points)
    • Joe - Jessica Knappett, using a longhorn
    • Lou - Phil Wang, using a long horn then a barbeque blower^note Lou realised she could roll again to choose another tool, and so kept rolling until she got the one she wanted; however, as she only drew a "wang", wrote the word "Phil" and made some unidentifiable squiggles, points were deducted
  • Sian - Romesh Ranganathan, using a pan-pipe (1 point)

• Task 2: Team Task - Catch The Red Balls Using Only Things From The Shed, Yellow Balls In Clothing, And The Blue Ball In Something From The Kitchen. Green Balls Must Only Touch Grass. Highest Score Wins^note red balls = 1 point, yellow balls = 2 points, the blue ball = 5 points, and any green balls = -2 points
  • Winner: Iain, Lou and Paul (5 points)^note despite scoring -27 points overall
  • Joe and Sian (Disqualified)^note Sian was caught sneaking balls that had landed on the grass into her team's containers, causing both to be disqualified even though Joe was unaware of this.

• Task 3: Make The Beach Ball Cross The Finish Line. Only Water Can Touch The Beach Ball. Fastest Wins
  • Winner: Iain (5 points)^note the only one to realise that the beach ball didn't need to follow the course
  • Sian (4 points)
  • Lou (3 points)
  • Paul (2 points)^note moved the finish line to just behind the starting line and pushed the ball backwards 1 metre
  • Joe (1 point)^note struggled with using flower pots to splash the beach ball up the course - eventually used chunks of ice to move the ball

• Live Task: Complete The Five Syllable Word Started By The Taskmaster. Honk Your Horn To Indicate When You Know The Answer^note correct guesses after one syllable get five points, two syllables get four points, and so on for a minimum of two points. Incorrect guesses result in all points being lost. Contestants may only guess once per word. Highest Score After Ten Words Wins. Winner Takes All
  • Winner: Paul (5 points)
  • Everyone Else (0 points)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Paul Sinha (21 points)
  2. Iain Stirling (18 points)
  3. Lou Sanders (12 points)
  4. Sian Gibson (8 points)
  5. Joe Thomas (7 points)

Episode 9 - "I've Been A Bit Ill"

• Prize Task: Best Form Of Protection
  • Winner: Lou - a "protection outfit" incorporating a beekeeper's hat, a waterproof coat, washing-up gloves, a crucifix to ward off vampires and a prayer to ward off the Devil^note A condom was not included because Lou deemed it otherwise tacky. (5 points)
  • Iain and Paul (4 points)
    • Iain - an inflatable sumo wrestler costume
    • Paul - a "Sinnerman" onesie given to him by the producers of The Chase^note which, for the benefit of those unfamiliar, he appears as a resident quizzer which, he claims, both protects him from the cold and acts as a contraceptive by ensuring no one will sleep with him
  • Joe and Sian (3 points)
    • Joe - a voucher to a novelty bunker
    • Sian - "sweaty" eggs

• Task 1: Bounce One Of The Provided Balls Into The Provided Basket. You Must Only Use The First Ball You Touch, And May Not Touch The Ball After Releasing It. Most Bounces Between Propulsion And Landing In The Bin Wins
  • Winner: Lou (5 points)^note used a bounce "stabiliser" in the form of tying a lead to the whiffle ball
  • Sian (4 points)^note used a bouce "stabiliser" by using a net to bounce her rubber band ball
  • Iain (3 points)
  • Paul (2 points)
  • Joe (1 point)

• Task 2: Devise The Most Delicious Dust And Serve It In This Dustpan
  • Winner: Iain - a cheese platter in dust form, with chutney, celery and grapes as garnish (5 points)
  • Joe - crispy pork skin, chicken-stock and salt dust, with a violet sherbert and honeycomb dust as dessert (4 points)
  • Paul - parmesan and pancetta flavoured dust (with a possible hint of human blood)^note Paul cut himself on the grater while grating cheese (3 points)
  • Sian - various confectionaries, including chocolate (with a possible hint of human blood)^note Sian cut herself on the grater while grating chocolate (2 points)
  • Lou - Fizz-Whizz popping candy mixed with burnt pornography (1 point)

• Task 3a: Team Task - Make Yourselves Look And Move Like One Person
  • Winner: Iain, Lou and Paul (3 points)
  • Joe and Sian (2 points)

• Task 3b: Team Task - Remaining As Your "One Person" From The Previous Task, Put On The Yellow Wellington Boots, Eat The Banana, And Put The Banana Skin In The Bin By The Caravan
  • Winner: Joe and Sian (4 points)
  • Iain, Lou and Paul (1 point)

• Live Task: Stack The Most Bowls And Plates Correctly On The Teacher's Cap On Your Head. You Must Stack The Bowls Alternately^note i.e. a bowl, then a plate One At A Time, You Must Not Touch An Item Already On Your Head, You Must Be Standing Upright When Stacking, And You Must Stay On Your Spot Throughout The Task
  • Winner: Lou (5 points)
  • Paul (4 points)
  • Iain (3 points)
  • Joe (2 points)
  • Sian (1 point)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Lou Sanders (20 points)
  2. Iain Stirling (19 points)
  3. Paul Sinha (17 points)
  4. Joe Thomas and Sian Gibson (16 points)

Episode 10 - "Clumpy Swayey Clumsy Man"

• Prize Task: Best Thing That Will Change Your Life For The Better (The Most)
  • Winner: Iain - a "squatty" toilet stool, to facilitate proper seating when on the toilet (5 points)
  • Joe - a voucher for a single hair transplant^note as in, literally one single strand of hair (4 points)
  • Lou and Paul (3 points)
    • Lou - a gift voucher for an appointment with her spiritual healer, "Jill in the Pyrenees"
    • Paul - an electronic massage pad
  • Sian - "miracle pills" that activate the sweet receptors in your tongue to change the taste of food (2 points)

• Task 1: Completely Erase This Eraser
  • Winner: Iain (5 points)
  • Paul (4 points)
  • Lou (3 points +1 bonus point)^note bonus point awarded for her initial attempt to eat the eraser "like a mad person", before eventually flushing it down the toilet
  • Sian (2 points)
  • Joe (1 point +3 bonus points)^note although technically the slowest, bonus points were granted due to his pointing out that the others technically did not "erase" the eraser, in that it was still intact and could theoretically be found and used as one, while his was completely erased.

• Task 2: Make The Most Tremendous Pretend Legs Out Of Only Five Items
  • Winner: Sian (5 points)
  • Lou (4 points)
  • Iain (3 points)^note Iain self-admittedly got a bit carried away with the task and ended up also making pretend arms
  • Paul (2 points)
  • Joe (1 point)

• Task 3: Follow The Instructions On The Signs To Navigate The Mobility Scooter Through The Obstacle Course Into The Parking Bay In Ten Minutes... While Blindfolded. Most Accurate Journey Wins
  • Winner: Iain (5 points)
  • Sian (4 points)
  • Joe (3 points)
  • Paul (2 points)
  • Lou (1 point)^note Lou took over half an hour to complete the task while everyone else took less than 10 minutes

• Live Task: Correctly Wearing The (Upside-Down Mirrored) Goggles With Your Eyes Open At All Times And Remaining On Your Spot, Retrieve Your Duck. Hold The Stick Provided By The Handle At All Times. First To Retrieve The Duck And Hold It Above Their Head Wins
  • Winner: N/A
  • Iain^note acquired Joe's duck, Joe^note acquired Iain's duck Lou, Paul and Sian ^note did not retrieve the duck during the time (Disqualified)

This marks the first time that a final task of the series has failed to produce a winner.

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Iain Stirling (18 points)
  2. Sian Gibson (13 points)
  3. Joe Thomas and Lou Sanders (12 points)
  4. Paul Sinha (11 points)

Episode Tally

• Iain Stirling and Lou Sanders = 3 episodes
  • Iain (Episodes 1, 5 and 10)
  • Lou (Episodes 2, 3 and 9)
• Sian Gibson = 2 episodes (Episodes 4 and 6)
• Joe Thomas and Paul Sinha = 1 episode
  • Joe (Episode 7)
  • Paul (Episode 8)

This series marks the third time that every contestant has won at least one episode. It also marks the third time that the series champion has tied with one other contestant for amount of episodes won, and the fourth time that there has been an episode tie overall.

Task Tally

A breakdown of the tasks as won by the contestants is as follows:

• Iain Stirling: 17 tasks (2 prize tasks, 10 video tasks, 3 video team tasks, 1 live task, 1 tiebreaker)
• Lou Sanders: 14 tasks (3 prize tasks, 4 video tasks [1 joint with Joe], 3 video team tasks, 4 live tasks)
• Sian Gibson: 13 tasks (3 prize tasks, 5 video tasks [1 joint with Paul], 2 video team tasks, 2 live team tasks, 1 tiebreaker)
• Joe Thomas and Paul Sinha: 9 tasks
  • Joe: 5 video tasks [1 joint with Lou], 2 video team tasks, 1 live task, 1 live team task
  • Paul: 1 prize task, 3 video tasks [1 joint with Sian], 3 video team tasks, 2 live tasks

Neither team won the team task in episode 4; Joe and Sian received 3 points and the other team was disqualified. The prize task in episode 6 also had no winner, but Joe got the highest score with 4 (and was indeed the only contestant to receive more than 1). Nor did the live task of episode 10; all were disqualified.

Episode Titles

Each episode is a Title Drop made by either a participant in the show, the Taskmaster, or the Taskmaster's Assistant. In this series, the titles were provided by:

• Episode 1: Paul Sinha (shouted "Hello" into a baby monitor 64 times during the "locate the other baby monitor using this baby monitor" task)
• Episode 2: The Taskmaster (in response to Joe Thomas's description of the "travel the furthest distance while making a constant noise with your mouth" task as "dehumanising": "Again, you confound me. Like, you just looked like you were having a lovely time, just running in the wind shouting, and then you end it with a phrase I would expect to read in a novel about Russian gulags! It's not supposed to be dehumanising! It's just a bit of fun!")
• Episode 3: The Taskmaster (on Joe Thomas's tendency to keep guessing mammals in the "guess what costume the Taskmaster's Assistant is wearing" task, despite having been told that the costume was not of a mammal: "Mate, you got stuck in a mammal groove. It's fine, we've all done it.")
• Episode 4: The Taskmaster (his description of Paul Sinha, who busied himself by rolling a barrel towards the hammock while Iain Stirling and Lou Sanders squabbled about what to put into it during the "put the most items in this hammock" task, which the Taskmaster likened to a father keeping out of a fight between two siblings: "As the Barrel Dad will tell you, kids have got to make their own mistakes.")
• Episode 5: Joe Thomas (summing up the moral of his PSA concerning safe candle extinguishing procedures in the "make the most realistic injury using food" task: "Sort of general message about 'stay humble', which I think is, uh... a take home whether you have birthdays or not. Even if you literally never age... stay humble.")
• Episode 6: Joe Thomas (describing the umlauts used by his and Sian Thomas's band name and album title in the "design the most iconic album cover" task: "It's the rock-and-roll umlaut, like you get in Motley Crue and that sort of thing... it's not grammatically correct, it's just for decoration.")
• Episode 7: Sian Gibson (introducing the stuffed guinea pig she was using for her submission for the "do the most powerful thing with your little finger" task.)
• Episode 8: The Taskmaster (discussing the potential for encountering a sexually aggressive dolphin as a result of using the gift voucher for a dolphin swim submitted by Lou for the prize task: "What I don't want is to die at the — I was gonna 'hands' — at the flippers and relentless penis of a male dolphin hammering away at me like some aquatic sewing machine.")
• Episode 9: Joe Thomas (attempting to explain his unusual appearance when Sian Gibson was hiding behind him during the "make your team look and move like one person" task.)
• Episode 10: The Taskmaster (when scoring Iain Stirling's attempt at the "make the most tremendous fake legs" task: "I want to hang out with him, but I don't think his legs were that tremendous. But I will give Clumpy Swaying Clumsy Man three points.")

Series Ranking

1. Winner: Lou Sanders (164 points)
2. Iain Stirling (156 points)
3. Joe Thomas (150 points)
4. Sian Gibson (143 points)
5. Paul Sinha (136 points)