Recap / Taskmaster Series Fourteen

Taskmaster recap index
British series:
Series: One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve | Thirteen | Fourteen | Fifteen | Sixteen | Seventeen
Specials: Champion of Champions | New Year Treats and One-Offs
New Zealand series:
Seasons: One | Two | Three | Four
Australian series:
Seasons: One

Cast

From right: Dara Ó Briain, Munya Chawawa, Sarah Millican, Greg Davies, Alex Horne, Fern Brady and John Kearns

• Taskmaster: Greg Davies
• Taskmaster's Assistant: Alex Horne
• Contestants: Dara Ó Briain, Fern Brady, John Kearns, Munya Chawawa and Sarah Millican
• Teams:
  • Munya Chawawa and Sarah Millican
  • Dara Ó Briain, Fern Brady and John Kearns

This page contains unmarked spoilers for the series in question. If you haven't seen the series yet, you are recommended to leave the page now. You have been warned.

Episodes

Episode 1 - "The Chassis, The Wings"

• Prize Task: The Most Jaw-Dropping Item
  • Winner: Fern - a framed photograph of a rescue chicken called "Fern Brady" named for her, which died during the COVID-19 pandemic (5 points)
  • Dara and Sarah (4 points)
    • Dara - a cartoon version of the Taskmaster dressed as a "sexy female version" of himself, à la Bugs Bunny^note accompanied by a cartoon version of his assistant's "jaw-dropping" reaction to him
    • Sarah - a ceramic dildo with one of her jokes 'engraved' upon it^note reportedly when bringing it on the show the Taskmaster's Assistant was informed it was a 'ceramic bangle-holder,' despite the word "Dildorama" being inscribed around the base
  • Munya - a knitted version of his own head (2 points)
  • John - a copy of the 2022 Guinness Book of World Records (1 point)

• Task 1: What Ten Films Are You In? You Have Fifteen Minutes. Most Correct Films Named Wins^note the contestants entered the room wearing cardboard boxes with over-sized representations of their faces on their heads. In front of them was a table with various items on it, each alluding to a particular film, which they had to identify. The films were: 1. "Rambo" (represented by a stuffed ram and a bow); 2. "The Wizard of Oz" (represented by a wizard's hat and a boomerang); 3. "Jaws" (represented by three jars); 4. "The Breakfast Club" (represented by a golf club with cornflakes glued to it); 5. "Frozen" (represented by frozen peas); 6. "A Clockwork Orange" (represented by an orange with a gearkey inserted into it); 7. "Rocky" (represented by two rocks); 8. "Gone With The Wind" (represented by a fan and a water gun); 9. "The Karate Kid" (represented by the Taskmaster Assistant, dressed as a carrot, holding some carrots, a tea bag, and a model goat); 10. "Se7en" (represented by the box the contestant was wearing)
  • Winner: Munya - 8 out of 10 films (5 points)
  • Sarah - 7 out of 10 films (4 points)
  • Fern - 6 out of 10 films (3 points)
  • John - 4 out of 10 films (2 points)
  • Dara - 3 out of 10 films (1 point)

• Task 2: Land Loo Roll In The Loo. You Must Stay On This Spot At All Times. Most Loo Roll In The Loo Wins. You Have Fifteen Minutes
  • Winner: Dara - 183 sheets^note 1 whole roll + torn up sheets from multiple others (5 points)
  • Fern - 140 sheets^note 1 whole roll (4 points)
  • Sarah - 81 sheets (3 points)
  • Munya - 61 sheets (2 points)
  • John - 0 sheets (1 point)^note awarded for the "sheer beauty" of some of his attempts, involving making paper airplanes, which were deemed worthy of winning a César

• Task 3: Team Task - Create The Best Picture Of A Bird On The Black Square. You May Not Step On Or Do Anything To The Black Square. The Taskmaster's Assistant Will Walk Towards You Every Time You Name A Different Bird And Will Stop Moving Every Time You Name A Different Fish. You Have Fifteen Minutes. Your Time Starts When The Taskmaster's Assistant Removes The Nail^note The nail was preventing paint coming out of a tube filled with paint carried by the Assistant
  • Winner: Munya and Sarah (5 points)
  • Dara, Fern and John (2 points)

• Live Task: Get The Most Weight On The See-Saw Without Popping The Balloon. Taking It In Turns, You Must Place A Single Item Of Your Additional Clothing In The Triangular Basket. Most Weight In The Basket Wins, But If You Pop The Balloon You Get Zero Points
  • Winner: Dara and John - 1461 grams (5 points)
  • Fern 1310 grams (3 points)
  • Sarah - 1071 grams (2 points)
  • Munya (0 points)^note popped the balloon

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Sarah Millican (18 points)
  2. Dara Ó Briain and Fern Brady (17 points)
  3. Munya Chawawa (14 points)
  4. John Kearns (11 points)

By happenstance, this is the second series where a Sarah, seated on the 5th chair, wins the debut episode of her series with 18 points, one point ahead of the runner-ups who are tied at 17 points.

Episode 2 - "Enormous Hugeness"

• Prize Task: The Best Thing You Keep Nearly Throwing Away But Can't Quite Bring Yourself To
  • Winner: Dara - a bone shard from his leg, which broke off during a football match (5 points)
  • Munya - "Young Pablo", his first ever house-plant (4 points)
  • Fern and Sarah (3 points)^note Both noted they'd prefer not to win the episode because they didn't want their prize submissions back
    • Fern - an old tankard her boyfriend uses to store toothbrushes
    • Sarah - a life-size zombie model belonging to her husband
  • John - a copy of Ulysses by James Joyce (1 point)

• Task 1a: Print, Laminate And Distribute The Most Signs. Each Sign Must Be Placed On A Different Seat, And All Your Signs Must Have A Different Instruction. You Have Twenty Minutes.
  • Winner: Dara - 25 signs (5 points)
  • Fern - unspecified (4 points)
  • Sarah - unspecified, but at least 14 (3 points)
  • Munya - 9 signs (2 points)
  • John - 7 signs (1 point)

• Task 1b: Then, Obey All Your Signs. Highest Percentage Of Signs Obeyed Wins. You Have Three Minutes
  • Winner: Dara and Munya - 100% (5 points)
  • Sarah - 91 % (3 points)
  • Fern - 75% (2 points)
  • John - "sort of" 50% (1 points)

• Task 2: Put Five Grapes In The Little Bowl. You Have Five Minutes. You Must Wear The Flippers As Gloves The Whole Time. Most Flour On The Plate After Five Minutes Wins^note grapes were concealed within the garage door where the task was being held, meaning that the contestants could theoretically complete the task without touching the flour at all
  • Winner: Dara - 2903g^note while he did not discover the concealed grapes, he was the only contestant to realise that the task did not specify that the grapes in the bowl had to be the ones concealed within the flour, so found some from the kitchen (5 points)
  • Munya - 2514g of flour (4 points)
  • John - "nearly" 2000g of flour (3 points)
  • Sarah - 900g of flour (2 points)
  • Fern (Disqualified)^note did not get five grapes into the bowl

• Task 3: Sort The Ducks And Socks. Ducks Go In The Front Bucket, Socks Go In The Back Bucket^note contestants had buckets strapped to their fronts and backs. All Ducks And Socks Must Travel Along Both Treadmills Then Fall Into The Correct Bucket. If A Duck Or Sock Lands On The Floor You May Not Retrieve It. Most Ducks And Socks In Correct Buckets Wins. There Is A Pair Of Bonus Points For Most Correctly Paired Socks. You Have Fifteen Minutes^note some of the socks contained small ducks within them
  • Winner: Dara - 63 ducks + 28 socks = 91 correctly sorted items (5 points +2 bonus points)^note Dara paired all of his collected socks. Furthermore, he hit on the idea of placing all items into plastic bags and containers and sending them down the treadmills collectively
  • Munya - 29 ducks + 37 socks = 66 correctly sorted items (4 points)^note dragged the bathtub that contained the socks and ducks under the second treadmill so the items didn't fall on the floor; this proved to be a hinderance since he fell into it just before the end of the task and spilled several of his ducks out
  • Sarah - 58 correctly sorted items (number of ducks and socks unspecified) (3 points)
  • Fern - 44 ducks + 13 socks = 57 correctly sorted items (2 points)
  • John - 9 ducks + 1 sock = 10 correctly sorted items (1 point)^note the only contestant to realize the task didn't preclude slowing the treadmills down; however he only realized this after most of his items were on the floor

• Live Task: Team Task - Make The Taskmaster Say Your Words. Each Team Will Ask One Question At A Time, And Each Question Must Be Made Up Of Exactly Six Words. Also, Each Team Member Must Take It In Turns To Say Two Words Of Each Question. First To Make The Taskmaster Say Your Word Wins
  • Winner: Dara, Fern and John - 3 correct guesses ^note  Word 1 - Worm (correctly guessed after 1 question: "What wriggles in Greg's muddy garden?"). Word 2 - Massive (correctly guessed after 1 question: "How would you describe enormous hugeness?") Word 3 - Helicopter (correctly guessed — somehow — after two questions: "I wish not to ascend vertically?" and "What aircraft crashes more into mountains?") (3 points)
  • Munya and Sarah - 2 correct guesses ^note Word 1 - Sausage (correctly guessed after 1 question: "What breakfast is long and meaty?") Word 2 - Floppy (Not guessed: "Can you lessen erection until it's?") Word 3 - Dungarees (correctly guessed after 2 questions: "What trousers do farmers wear now?" and "Not overalls so it must be?") (2 points)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Dara Ó Briain (30 points)^note The highest-ever points total for an episode with standard scoring. This matches Katherine Ryan's 30-point total in Series 2.
  2. Munya Chawawa (21 points)
  3. Sarah Millican (16 points)
  4. Fern Brady (14 points)
  5. John Kearns (10 points)

With this episode, Dara O'Briain becomes the first contestant to win or joint-win every task and get a perfect episode score, including any bonus points. He also becomes the first contestant to win both parts of a two-part task.

Episode 3 - "Dafty In The Middle"

• Prize Task: The Thing That You Most Want On A Sunday Morning
  • Winner: John - a business card reading "know what you want and have the confidence to go after it" (5 points)
  • Dara - a large segmented frying pan (4 points)
  • Fern - her "favourite breakfast soup^note a savoury tofu pudding; it had a "fishy, spicy" taste according to the Taskmaster's Assistant and, in the words of the Taskmaster, "tasted like a farmyard" and had "the flavour of hopelessness" (3 points)
  • Sarah - a "do not disturb" sign (2 points)
  • Munya - a foot grater (1 point)

• Task 1: Team Task - Place Half Your Hands On Half Your Hips And Leave Them There Until The Task Is Over. Also, The Hands That Are On Those Hips Must Only Touch Those Hips Until The Second Part Of The Task Is Over. Then, With Those Hands On Those Hips At All Times, Put The Most Sand In The Shopping Trolley. You May Only Move The Shopping Trolley When There Is One Minute On The Clock. You Have Ten Minutes
  • Winner: Munya and Sarah - 21kg (5 points)
  • Dara, Fern and John - 20.9kg (0 points)

• Secret Task: If You Are John Kearns, Sabotage Your Team In Task 1. If Your Team Loses The Task You Win Five Points. If Your Team Wins The Task, You Win Zero Points. If Your Team Accuses You Of Sabotaging The Task, You Win Zero Points^note Taken from Taskmaster (NZ) Season 2
  • Winner: John Kearns (5 points)

• Task 2: Identify The Ice Cream Flavours ^note marmite and porridge; curry and naan bread; corn flakes and chili; white chocolate and macaroni cheese; bechamel sauce and brussel sprout puree. Most Correct Ice Cream Flavours Identified Wins. You Have Ten Minutes. You Must Find Every Flavour Delicious
  • Winner: Dara - 4 flavours (5 points)
  • Fern and John - 3 flavours (4 points)
  • Sarah - 2 flavours (2 points)
  • Munya - 1 flavour (1 point)

• Task 3: Catch Something. Most Spectacular Catch Wins. You Have Twenty Minutes
  • Winner: Dara - caught a baby (5 points)^note in a short film entitled Ooh My Baby! after the repeated yells of the baby's mother, also played by Dara
  • Fern - caught a falling star (4 points)^note via CGI; the behind-the-scenes footage of her actual jump was also shown
  • Sarah - caught fire (3 points)^note marked down because the Taskmaster's Assistant could be seen extinguishing the fires in the background, with the Taskmaster pointedly blamed his assistant for
  • John - caught a ball after throwing it 'over' the house (2 points)^note was given more points purely because he actually managed to catch a ball
  • Munya - attempted to catch a ball in a bucket after the Taskmaster's Assistant threw it over the house (1 point)^note failed to catch any balls, but was given a pity point

• Live Task: Predict Whether An Item Will Create A Higher Or Lower Number Of Decibels Than The Previous Item ^note  Sound 1: a horn, 107 decibels. Sound 2: A bag of cereal falling onto a bar, 101.9 decibels (the Taskmaster's Assistant initially failed to press the right button on the measuring device, requiring a second go). Sound 3: an electric toothbrush being thrust in and out of a bowl of marbles "in the regulation manner", 90.7 decibels. If You Are Wrong, You Are Out. Last Player Standing Wins
  • Winner: Sarah (5 points)
  • John (4 points)
  • Dara, Fern and Munya (3 points)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: John Kearns (20 points)
  2. Dara Ó Briain and Sarah Millican (17 points)
  3. Fern Brady (14 points)
  4. Munya Chawawa (11 points)

Episode 4 - "Crumbs In My Bralette"

• Prize Task: The Greatest Addition To A Garden
  • Winner: Sarah - a copy of The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, apparently used to keep discarded Magnum^note a brand of choc-ice wrappers from flying away (5 points)
  • Dara - a thermometer which "proves [Dara] was an advertising model in 1920s France"^note it's a fairly famous old tourism campaign for Marseilles with a gentleman — who does look a lot like Dara — holding a bottle with "Pastis Olive" on it (4 points)
  • John - a leylandii hedge plant^note the species typically grown to construct hedge mazes (3 points)
  • Munya - a "reincarnation" of Smooth Rupert, a blackbird who used to visit his garden and was reportedly "the blackbird equivalent of Snoop Dogg" (2 points)
  • Fern - a pizza oven^note She doesn't actually own a pizza oven. The one shown on screen was a very expensive model personally belonging to a member of staff and it was returned to its rightful owner after some Oblivious Guilt Slinging backstage. The episode's winner received a baking stone to take home instead (1 point)

• Task 1: Turn On The Bubble Machine. You May Not Step Off Or Remove The Doormat. Fastest Wins^note contestants were provided with the bubble machine without a charger, a range of coloured marker pens, a torch, some red twine, a tape measure, a cactus, a dressing gown and a remote control car. Various batteries were secreted around the task location for them to find (on top of the car and inside the torch). A connected power cable was hidden under the floorboards directly beneath the table, and hidden messages directing the contestants to this were hidden on the batteries themselves.
  • Winner: Sarah - 6 min 13 sec^note the only contestant to discover the hidden power cable (5 points)
  • Dara - 6 min 35 sec^note mentioned that his wife had advised him to "look under the table" at every opportunity, and discovered the remote control car's controller there; however, failed to look even further to discover the power cable (4 points)
  • Fern - 7 min 40 sec (3 points)
  • John - 10 min 45 sec^note initially switched the machine on and insisted it was 'on' despite not being plugged in for "about five minutes", before then struggling to even spot the batteries (2 points)
  • Munya - 11 min 41 sec (1 point)

• Task 2: Get This Tarpaulin Completely In One Of The Containers^note a wheel-bin, a suitcase, a bin-bag, a pedal bin, a bread box, a laundry basket, a sleeping bag, or a barrel. You Have A Maximum Of Five Minutes And You Must Select Your Container Before Touching The Tarpaulin. Also, You Must Tidy Everything Up Within Those Five Minutes^note a snake was hidden underneath the tarpaulin, and the containers were filled with various items. Smallest Container Filled With The Tarpaulin Wins. Your Time Starts When You Select Your Container, And You Must Select Your Container Within Thirty Seconds
  • Winner: Sarah - laundry basket^note the only contestant to get the tarpaulin within her container and make sure everything was tidied away(5 points)
  • Dara - laundry basket^note concealed the tarpaulin but forgot to replace the lid of the barrel, which he used to hide the clothes that were in the basket (4 points)
  • Fern - suitcase^note concealed the tarpaulin but failed the clean up the marbles and cutlery that were inside the suitcase (3 points)
  • John - wheel-bin^note failed to conceal the tarpaulin or clean up, but hid more than Munya (2 points)
  • Munya - bread box^note concealed only a small amount of tarpaulin; when pressed that the bread box would have never contained the entire tarpaulin, claimed that he believed that a secret "sewer" was concealed under the bread box (1 point)

• Task 3: Write Down Five Wonderful Words. You Have One Minute. Then, Write A Classical Song. You Must Write Lyrics For A Piece Of Classical Music^note options: "Clair De Lune" by Claude Debussy; "Hall of the Mountain King" by Edvard Grieg; "Piano Sonata No. 11 in A Major, Third Movement" by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart; "Swan Lake" by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky; "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik" by Mozart; "Sonata in C Major" by Mozart. Your Lyrics Must Contain Your Five Wonderful Words. You Have Thirty Minutes
  • Winner: Sarah^note words: biscuit, greenery, toadstool, bralette, catnip. Music: "Clair De Lune" (5 points)
  • Fern and John (4 points)
    • Fern^note words: dilapidated, imbecile, obsequious, serendipitous, sycophant. Music: "Piano Sonata No. 11"
    • John^note words: satsuma, pyjamas, lance, fantastic, curry. Music: "Swan Lake"
  • Dara and Munya (2 points)
    • Dara^note words: defenestration, fandango, nebulous, palabras, gyratory. Music: "Hall of the Mountain King"
    • Munya^note words: loquacious, jovial, sex, emphatic, euphoria. Music: "Piano Sonata No. 11"

• Live Task: Throw Your Egg And Spoon The Same Distance. Both Egg And Spoon Must Cross The Qualifying Line. If Either Your Egg Or Spoon Fall Off The Knappett You Are Disqualified. The Most Distanced Egg And Spoon Each Round Are Out. If Your Egg Doesn't Break, Your Distance Is Halved. Last Player Standing Wins
  • Winner: Dara (5 points)
  • Fern (4 points)
  • Munya (3 points)
  • Sarah (2 points)
  • John (1 point)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Sarah Millican (22 points)
  2. Dara Ó Briain (19 points)
  3. Fern Brady (15 points)
  4. John Kearns (12 points)
  5. Munya Chawawa (9 points)

Episode 5 - "Chip Biffington"

• Prize Task: Most Useless Thing That You've Bought That Cost Over £20
  • Winner: John - a streaker (and two policemen) for a Subbuteo game (which he doesn't own) (5 points)
  • Dara - a "worm trumpet" supposed to allow you to hear worms moving in the earth (4 points)
  • Fern and Munya (3 points):
    • Fern - a cat-walking harness that her cat hated and readily escaped from
    • Munya - a Golden Snitch fidget spinner^note Munya let slip it was worth only £15 but Greg enjoyed his story and invited him to lie that it was worth £21
  • Sarah - a mandoline she cut part of her own finger off with^note marked down by Greg on the basis that it is a useful item, she simply didn't use it properly; but he gave her 2 since "the woman took the end of her finger off" (2 points)

• Task 1: Get The Most Pleasure From All Of These Rubbish Chutes. You Have 30 Minutes
  • Winner: Fern - installed Alex in the upright chutes, threw bananas for him to catch in his mouth, put makeup on him, then forced him to drink ketchup (5 points)
  • Munya and Sarah (4 points):
    • Munya - put one on the head of the statue of Greg in the garden, taped one to Alex's back, then arranged the others in a pyramid for him to knock over with a ball thrown through Alex's chute, ringing a large bell on the garden cow (calling his game "KnoCOWt")
    • Sarah - made Alex wear a dress identical to hers and a blindfold, then, through the chutes pointed at him, flicked him with a cedar branch and pelted him with whipped cream and cottage pie
  • John - crawled effortfully through the chutes, ate five "choccies" secreted in them, then tried to first kick and then head footballs into the geodesic dome through a chute installed through its wall^note awarded despite John's obvious pain when repeatedly hit in the head with footballs; Greg concluded that he "just expresses pleasure in a different way" (3 points)
  • Dara - had Alex throw balls down the chutes for him to hit with a hurling bat into a target ^note marked down because it only involved one form of pleasure (2 points)

• Task 2: Team Task - Perform The Best Routine To This Musical Backing. You Have 30 Minutes
  • Winner: Dara, Fern, and John - Scalpel, Please!: an "80s sitcom" title sequence for a hospital show, in which Dara and Fern dance vivaciously while gleefully and rather viciously operating on a clearly distressed John (5 points)
  • Munya and Sarah - a Rocky-esque exercise montage, with Sensei Munya training an underperforming Sarah (4 points)

• Task 3: Place One Luggage Trolley A Certain Distance Away From The Line. Then, Starting Behind The Line, Strike That Luggage Trolley With Another Luggage Trolley. If You Strike The First Luggage Trolley With Another Luggage Trolley, You May Move The First Luggage Trolley Further Away. You May Not Move Any Unsuccessful Luggage Trolleys. Furthest Luggage Trolley Struck Wins. You Have 10 Minutes.
  • Winner: John - 19 Noel Edmondses (over 34 metres) (5 points)^note John feared he would be ambushed with a photo of him going over the line, making an oblique comment about the same happening to Joe Wilkinson in his tragic red green incident from series 2, but the photo showed him successfully staying behind the line
  • Munya - 17.7 Noel Edmondses (4 points)
  • Dara - 16 Noel Edmondses and one crouching Noel Edmonds (3 points)
  • Sarah - 25.4 metres (2 points)
  • Fern - 18.3 metres (1 point)

• Live Task: Team Task - One Member Of Your Team Must Write Down Ten Animals In Two Minutes. Then, Communicate The Other Team's Animals To Your Team Members By Saying The Letter That Comes Before It In The Alphabet Over And Over Whilst Doing An Impression Of That Animal. Most Correct Animals Named Wins. You Have Two Minutes And One Pass.
  • Winner: Tied (5 points)
    • Dara, Fern, and John
    • Munya and Sarah

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: John Kearns (23 points)
  2. Munya Chawawa (20 points)
  3. Dara Ó Briain and Fern Brady (19 points)
  4. Sarah Millican (17 points)

Episode 6 - "Long-Legged Lobster"

• Prize Task: The Best Thing You've Ever Received In The Post
  • Winner: Sarah - a signed photo of herself as a younger girl surrounded by her posters of Philip Schofield, which she sent to him and received back (5 points)
  • Munya - The "SuckerTron 3000", a desk keyboard vacuum cleaner (4 points)
  • John - his "Dennis the Menace" club membership card and badges (3 points)
  • Dara - an entire turkey, representing the one that was sent to his family for Christmas dinner by farm-owning relatives every year (2 points)
  • Fern - a pair of frilled underpants with a bow sent to her by her mother (1 point)

• Task 1: Within Thirty Seconds Of Opening This Task, You Must Pick Up Both Milk Bottles And Hold Them Directly Above The Microwaves. The Clock Stops When A Milk Bottle, Hand Or Arm Touches The Microwave Or Is No Longer Directly Above A Microwave. Lowest Number On The Clock Wins, But If The Clock Reaches Zero You Are Disqualified^note Adapted from Taskmaster (NZ) Season 2. The contestants entered the room and were advised by the Taskmaster's Assistant not to open the task immediately. He then proceeded to badger them with increasingly unusual questions
  • Winner: Sarah - 16 min 58 sec ^note spent the longest answering the Assistant's questions, before hitting on the idea that she could pour the milk out of the bottles. Unfortunately, she did so over the floor, and a "missed milky spot" meant that the room stank for ages, including throughout all of Munya's filmed tasks (5 points)
  • John - 23 min 30 sec (4 points)
  • Munya - 25 min 4 sec^note held them up for over four minutes with increasingly elaborate determination (3 points)
  • Fern - 26 min 4 sec (2 points)
  • Dara - 26 min 55 sec^note didn't listen to the Taskmaster's Assistant, failed to understand the task and almost immediately put the milk bottles down after lifting them(1 point)

• Task 2: Get To The End Of The Lanes In Exactly The Same Amount Of Time. That Time Must Be Under One Minute. Closest Two Times Wins^note one lane was an automated travelator, which would take a stationary individual roughly one minute 25 seconds to reach the end. Also, You Must Mirror Yourself During Your Attempts. There Are Two Bonus Points For The Most Stylish Mirroring. Both Attempts Must Take Place Within The Next Ten Minutes
  • Winner: Sarah - "negligible" difference between walks (5 points)
  • John - 0.5 second difference between walks (4 points +1 bonus point)
  • Munya - 3 second difference between walks (3 points +1 bonus point)
  • Dara - 4 second difference between walks (2 points)
  • Fern - 16 second difference between walks (1 point)

• Task 3: Strike The Bulls-Eye With Your Paint. You Must Only Step On The Stepping Stones And You Must Step On All The Stepping Stones. Also, Your Hands Must Be Below Your Waist At All Times. Fastest Wins
  • Winner: N/A
  • Everyone (Disqualified)^note Fern, John, Munya and Sarah both failed to step on all the stepping stones and failed to keep their hands below their waist. Dara remembered to step on all the stones, but adjusted his goggles at one point

• Live Task: Paint A Picture Of A Unicorn Using Your Head Brush^note contestants were asked to specify "feet" or "inches" prior to going on stage, which determined the length of their head brush. Dara and Sarah selected inches, Fern, John and Munya selected feet. You May Not Handle Your Head Brush At Any Point. You Have Two Minutes
  • Winner: Dara (5 points)
  • Sarah (4 points)
  • Munya (3 points)
  • Fern (2 points)
  • John (1 point)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Sarah Millican (19 points)
  2. Munya Chawawa (14 points)
  3. John Kearns (13 points)
  4. Dara Ó Briain (10 points)
  5. Fern Brady (6 points)

Episode 7 - "The System of Endless Plates"

• Prize Task: The Thing You Would Most Like To Have With You On A Car Journey
  • Winner: Sarah - an escape hammer (5 points)
  • Fern - a "She-Wee"^note a device which facilitates urination into a bottle while the owner is on long journeys and doesn't wish to stop (4 points)
  • Dara - a video game console carrying case (3 points)
  • John - a sailor's hat (2 points)
  • Munya - a coordination game where you try to line a collection of disks in a straight line using only your finger (1 point)

• Task 1: Choose A Room And A Weapon^note the rooms were the rooms of the Taskmaster House, laid out as a Cluedo board. The weapons were: a frying pan, a belt, a high-heeled shoe, a staple gun and a cactus. Then Await Further Instructions... Pop 99 Balloons. You Must Use Your Chosen Weapon. Shout "Stop It!" When You Think You've Popped Precisely 99 Balloons. Fastest Wins
  • Winner: John - a belt in the caravan; burst 99 balloons in 2 min 29 sec (5 points)
  • Dara - a frying pan in the living room; burst 99 balloons in 3 min 20 sec (4 points)
  • Fern, Munya and Sarah (Disqualified)
    • Fern - a cactus in the kitchen; lost count and burst too many balloons
    • Munya - a frying pan in the living room; burst 111 balloons in 9 min 22 sec^note the exact amount of balloons in the room. Munya also possesses a phobia of balloon-popping, which he overcame in order to do the task
    • Sarah - a frying pan in the living room; burst 100 balloons in 5 min 2 sec^note accidentally miscounted the 89th balloon and confused the Taskmaster's Assistant, whom she had asked to keep count as well

• Task 2: Team Task - Get This Feather Into The Bath. You Must Not Touch The Feather And The Feather Must Not Touch The Ground. After The Feather Has Left Its Cushion It Must Not Touch A Single Thing For More Than Five Seconds In Total. The Cushion Must Not Leave The Lab. If You Make Any Mistake At All, The Taskmaster's Assistant Will Blow His Whistle And You Must Start Again. Fastest Wins. Finally, You Must Not Say Any Words At Any Point From Now On
  • Winner: Dara, Fern and John - 7 min 45 sec (5 points)
  • Munya and Sarah - 24 min 25 sec (2 points)

• Task 3: Make An Exercise Ball Touch Bernard.^note A mannequin on an office chair placed down a slope and around a corner from the line. Bernard Cannot Move. You May Launch An Exercise Balloon From Behind The Line, And May Not Touch Any Balls After Each Launch. Most Balls Actively Involved In A Successful Launch Wins. Your Task Ends When A Ball Touches Bernard Or After Fifteen Minutes Have Elapsed
  • Winner: John - 12 balls (5 points)
  • Dara - 8 balls (4 points)
  • Sarah - 5 balls (3 points)
  • Fern - 4 balls (2 points)
  • Munya - 15 balls, but kicked one into the others after launching it (Disqualified)

• Live Task: Blow An Item The Furthest On The Knappett. If Your Item Falls From The Knappett You Are Disqualified. The Person Who Blows Something The Least Far Each Round Is Eliminated Unless Someone Is Disqualified. You Must Select Your Blower And Item For Each Round Before Blowing Commences, And You Must Not Use The Same Items Twice. Last Player Standing Wins
  • Winner: Dara ^note pea and straw; beach ball and bellows, but the bellows made contact with the ball, Fern^note pea and recorder; ping-pong ball and straw, but the ball went off the Knappett, Munya^note pea and straw; beach ball and bellows, but the ball went off the Knappett and Sarah^note pea and recorder; beach ball and bellows, but the ball went off the Knappett (5 points)
  • John^note ping-pong ball and straw(1 point)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Dara Ó Briain (21 points)
  2. John Kearns (18 points)
  3. Fern Brady (16 points)
  4. Sarah Millican (15 points)
  5. Munya Chawawa (8 points)

Episode 8 - "The One That Bats Do"

• Prize Task: The Best Fancy Dress
  • Winner: Fern - an alien dressed as a Scottish man (5 points)
  • Dara and Munya (3 points)
    • Dara - a plague doctor
    • Munya - the "most accurate replica of a space suit ever made"
  • Sarah - a "bad taste" outfit she wore at a fancy dress day at an old job... which no one noticed (2 points)
  • John - an inflatable walking stick (1 point)

• Task 1: Team Task - Come Up With A Secret Language That Doesn't Use Words. You Have Ten Minutes, After Which One Of You Must Go Into The Lab. Then, The Player In The Lab Must Secretly Give This Instruction To Your Teammate(s)^note Feed three giraffes and an elephant to the clown. You May Not Say Or Write Any Of The Words In The Instruction. Fastest Wins. Your Time Starts When You Walk Through The Door And Stops When The Instruction Is Carried Out By Your Teammate(s)
  • Winner: Munya and Sarah (5 points)
  • Dara, Fern and John (0 point)^note Dara mistakenly transmitted the message "Feed three elephants and a giraffe to the clown."

• Task 2: Pin An Alluring Tail On The Alluring Animal While Blindfolded. You Have Fifteen Minutes To Find The Alluring Animal, Make An Alluring Tail, Put Your Alluring Tail On The Tail Station, And Prepare To Pin Your Tail Onto The Animal Blindfolded. Fastest Wins
  • Winner: Munya - 2 min 6 sec (5 points)
  • Dara - 3 min (4 points)
  • John - 8 min 12 sec (3 points)
  • Sarah - 9 min 40 sec (2 points)
  • Fern - 13 min 53 sec (1 point)

• Task 3: Find The Back Of Your Hand. Fewest Wrong Guesses Wins. You Have A Maximum Of Twenty Minutes And Your Time Starts When The Taskmaster's Assistant Does A Hand Pun^note The task was held by a mannequin hand suspended in the middle of the room. Written around the hand's wrist was a hidden instruction allowing players to "spend" 100 guesses to rule out entire sets of photographs. Additionally hidden within the hand itself was a laser pointer that, when placed in the correct position, had its beam reflected into the correct photograph.
  • Winner: Munya and Sarah - 1 guess (5 points)^note Munya found the hidden laser pointer and used it correctly. Sarah remembered the position she held her hand in for the photograph and found the one picture of a hand in that position.
  • Fern - 504 guesses (4 points)^note Found the hidden instruction and eliminated five boards before correctly finding her hand.
  • Dara and John (Disqualified)^note Also found the hidden instruction, but failed to find their hands in the allotted time.

• Live Task: Team Task - Guess The Fully Extended Length Of The Extendable Item^note a vacuum cleaner, a dog lead, a tape measure, a duster, a ladder. Closest To The Fully Extended Length Wins
  • Winner: Munya and Sarah (3 points)
  • Dara, Fern and John (2 points)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Munya Chawawa (21 points)
  2. Sarah Millican (17 points)
  3. Fern Brady (12 points)
  4. Dara Ó Briain (9 points)
  5. John Kearns (6 points)

Episode 9 - "A New Business End"

• Prize Task: The Most Underestimated Item
  • Winner: N/A
  • Dara, Fern and Sarah (3 points)
    • Dara - a fish-finger sandwich
    • Fern - a bottle-opener keyring
    • Sarah - a copy of The Joy of Sex
  • John - a penny (2 points)
  • Munya - a "Zimbabwean trick boomerang"^note two rocks tied to the ends of some string (1 point)

• Task 1: Snort, Then Blow A Raspberry, Then Whistle, Then Repeat That Sequence For One Minute. The Most Completed Sequences Wins^note  Originally filmed as a tiebreak task, then put in the main show
  • Winner: Munya - 24 cycles (5 points)
  • Sarah - 18 cycles (4 points)
  • Dara - 17 cycles^note realised only at the end that he could have borrowed the Taskmaster's Assistant's whistle (3 points)
  • Fern and John^note failed to complete any cycles due to an inability to whistle; points were awarded for 'taking part' (2 points)

• Task 2a: Write A One-Minute One Person Play. Best Script Wins. You Have Twenty Minutes
  • Winner: Fern, John and Sarah (5 points)
    • John, Door(s)
    • Fern, Meaning
    • Sarah, The Not Cat Cafe
  • Dara, Everytime I Look Up I Think Of You (4 points)
  • Munya, The Power of Silence (1 point)

• Task 2b: Stage And Perform This One Person One-Minute Play. Best Performance Wins. You Have Thirty Minutes To Prepare
  • Winner: Dara and Fern (5 points)
    • Dara, performing Door(s) by John^note "All joking aside, I genuinely found myself drawn in by [Dara's] performance." ~ The Taskmaster
    • Fern, performing The Not Cat Cafe by Sarah^note "I don't think I've got anything bad to say, I was absolutely enchanted by performance and narrative... put me in mind of Alan Bennett." ~ The Taskmaster
  • John, performing Everytime I Look Up I Think Of You by Dara (4 points)^note "Slightly overwritten." ~ The Taskmaster
  • Sarah, performing The Power of Silence by Munya (3 points)^note "Pretentious nonsense." ~ The Taskmaster, although he noted that Sarah did the best she could with the provided script
  • Munya, performing Meaning by Fern (2 points)^note "I love the existential angst of the cat." ~ The Taskmaster

• Task 3: Choose One Item^note Plinth One — a sweeping brush, a toilet brush, a hair brush, a tooth brush and a sausage 'brush'. Plinth Two — a toilet seat, a toilet roll, a wheelie bin, a queen-sized bed sheet and a plank of wood From Each Plinth And Bring Them Into The Lab. You Have One Minute. Then, Paint A Self-Portrait Using Your Chosen Brush (Or Sausage) On Your Other Chosen Object. You Must Use 'The Business End' Of Your Brush Or Sausage, And In Your Self-Portrait You Must Be Wielding Your Brush Or Sausage. Best Self-Portrait Wins. You Have Fifteen Minutes. Your Time Started When You Entered The Lab
  • Winner: Fern - sausage on toilet seat (5 points)
  • John - sausage on toilet paper (4 points)
  • Munya - toothbrush on wheelie-bin (3 points)
  • Dara - toilet brush on bedsheet (2 points)
  • Sarah - sweeping brush on toilet paper (1 point)

• Live Task: Tie Your Towel As Tightly As Possible Around Your Body. You Have Thirty Seconds. Then, Place Your Hands On Your Heads And Keep Them There Until The End Of The Task. Get Your Towel Completely In Your Bucket. Fastest Wins. The Towel Must Be Off Your Body
  • Winner: Dara (5 points)
  • Munya (4 points)
  • Fern (3 points)
  • John and Sarah (2 points)^note failed to get their towels into their buckets

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Fern Brady (23 points)
  2. Dara Ó Briain (22 points)
  3. John Kearns (19 points)
  4. Sarah Millican (18 points)
  5. Munya Chawawa (16 points)

Episode 10 - "Did I Meet These Potatoes Before?"

• Prize Task: The Thing Of Yours The Taskmaster Would Most Like To Own
  • Winner: N/A
  • John - a fridge magnet of Jet from Gladiators (3 points)
  • Dara - cufflinks made of meteorite, to represent an asteroid named for him^note 4901 Ó Briain, an object currently in the asteroid belt outside Mars (2 points)
  • Fern, Munya and Sarah (1 point)
    • Fern - "magical" tarot cards
    • Munya - a mould of his own face
    • Sarah - a copy of The Science of Likeability, to represent the likeability she feels she possesses which the Taskmaster does not

• Task 1a: Order Three Things For Your Final Task. You May Spend Up To £50. You Have Five Minutes^note This was the very first task the contestants completed for this series
  • Dara - a "rented nice person" and two pints of Irish cider
  • Fern - pens, "some sort of taxidermy"^note as in, an animal that had been taxidermied, as opposed to a stuffed toy. The animal in question turned out to be a small songbird and a bag of potatoes
  • John - a double cheeseburger, a baseball cap and a "magic" lamp^note the lamp itself was provided; reportedly, had John remembered to 'rub' the lamp a person dressed as a genie was stationed in the garage ready to help out as needed. Sadly, John had forgotten that he'd specified a 'magic' lamp by the time the second part of the task took place.
  • Munya - a Swiss army knife, moon shoes and Vaseline
  • Sarah - scissors, "A4-sized" chocolate and a mirror

• Task 2: Eat The Grape. You Must Not Damage The Caravan Or Climb Out The Window. Fastest Wins^note Taken from Taskmaster (NZ) Season 2. This task was effectively an escape room, with contestants being locked inside the caravan upon finishing reading the task. There was a key attached to a painting which could unlock the grip of a pair of scissors. These could be used to cut some string, opening a box of darts. Contestants could then throw the darts at a dartboard placed on the ground outside an open window. Scoring 50 points or more would get them a prize: a box with Alex's library receipt for The Grapes of Wrath, hinting to open the copy of that book in the caravan. This was actually a Book Safe containing a key and, under a false bottom, a grape. The key could be used to unlock the door, and contestants could then walk to a plinth with several fake grapes and one real one on it. According to the Taskmaster's Assistant, there were several more grapes hidden around the caravan. Additionally, there was nothing stopping contestants from skipping steps.
  • Winner: Dara - 4 min 36 sec (5 points)^note opened the book, found the key, ate the grape from the plinth
  • Sarah - 6 min 10 sec (4 points)^note opened the book, found the grape in it
  • Fern - 10 min 44 sec (3 points)^note unlocked the scissors, opened the box, won the prize, opened the book, found the grape in it
  • Munya - 11 min 5 sec (2 points)^note won the darts prize by dangling them from a string onto the target, completed the rest of the room the "standard" way
  • John - 20 min 20 sec (1 point)^note cut the string with the still-locked scissors, completed the rest of the room the "standard" way but didn't notice the grapes outside for some time, instead thinking there must be a grape in the chickpea tin which had been present with the caravan door key as a Red Herring

• Task 3: Team Task - Sculpt Your Team. Best Sculpture Wins. Only One Person May Look At The Clay, And That Person May Not Touch The Clay. You Have A Maximum Of Fifteen Minutes. Your Time Starts With The Taskmaster's Assistant Blows His Whistle
  • Winner: Munya and Sarah (5 points)
  • Dara, Fern and John (3 points)^note 2 points for artistic merit, 1 because Dara and Fern were using one hand each as opposed to Sarah, who could use both her hands

• Task 1b: 1 - Throw One Of The Objects Chosen In Task 1a Over The Caravan. 2 - Completely Cover One Of Your Items With One Of Your Other Items. 3. Put The Covered Item On The Wooden Barrel Without Touching It With Your Hands. Fastest Wins^note this was the very last filmed task the contestants completed for the series
  • Winner: Dara - 34.1 seconds (5 points)
  • Munya - 2 min 18 sec (4 points)
  • John - 4 min 48 sec (3 points)
  • Sarah - 36 seconds^note Failed to throw the scissors over the caravan. "I still got chocolate in my pocket! Haha!" (2 points)
  • Fern - 13 min 40 sec (1 point)

• Live Task: Land A Balloon Nearest The Taskmaster. You Must Be On Your Spots At All Times. Closest Balloon To The Taskmaster Wins, But If You Strike The Taskmaster With A Balloon You Are Disqualified
  • Winner: Dara (5 points)
  • Munya (4 points)
  • Sarah (3 points)
  • John (2 points)
  • Fern (Disqualified)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Dara Ó Briain (20 points)
  2. Munya Chawawa (16 points)
  3. Sarah Millican (15 points)
  4. John Kearns (12 points)
  5. Fern Brady (8 points)

Episode Tally

• Dara Ó Briain and Sarah Millican (3 episodes)
  • Sarah - Episodes 1, 4, and 6
  • Dara - Episodes 2, 7 and 10
• John Kearns (2 episodes - Episodes 3 and 5)
• Munya Chawawa (1 episode - Episode 8)
• Fern Brady (1 episode - Episode 9)

Dara Ó Briain becomes the fourth series champion to also win the series finale. This also the third series in which no episode has required a tiebreaker to settle the winner, the first ten-episode series in which no episode has required a tiebreaker, and the first series since the show moved to Channel 4 in which no tiebreakers have been needed.

Task Tally

A breakdown of the tasks as won by the contestants is as follows:

• Dara Ó Briain: 21 tasks (1 prize task, 11 video tasks [1 tied with Munya, 1 tied with Fern], 2 video team tasks, 6 live tasks [1 tied with John, 1 tied with Fern, Munya, and Sarah], 2 live team tasks [1 tied with the other team])
• Sarah Millican: 19 tasks (3 prize tasks, 7 video tasks [1 tied with Fern and John, 1 tied with Munya], 4 video team tasks, 2 live tasks [1 tied with Dara, Fern, and Munya], 2 live team tasks [1 tied with the other team])
• John Kearns: 13 tasks (2 prize tasks, 4 video tasks [1 tied with Fern and Sarah], 2 video team tasks, 1 trick task, 1 live task [tied with Dara], 2 live team tasks [1 tied with the other team])
• Munya Chawawa: 12 tasks (5 video tasks [1 tied with Dara, 1 tied with Sarah], 4 video team tasks, 1 live task [tied with Dara, Fern, and Sarah], 2 live team tasks [1 tied with the other team])
• Fern Brady: 11 tasks (2 prize tasks, 4 video tasks [1 tied with John and Sarah], 2 video team tasks, 1 live task [tied with Dara, Munya, and Sarah], 2 live team tasks [1 tied with the other team])

Two prize tasks (in episodes 9 and 10) had no-one score more than 3 points; Dara, Fern, and Sarah "won" the former, while John "won" the latter. One filmed solo task in episode 6 saw everyone get disqualified, and thus no winner.

Episode Titles

Each episode is a Title Drop made by either a participant in the show, the Taskmaster, or the Taskmaster's Assistant. In this series, the titles were provided by:

• Episode 1: John Kearns (Describing a paper plane made out of toilet paper for the "get the most loo roll into the loo" task: "Well, look how beautiful it is first and foremost. The chassis, the wings...")
• Episode 2: Dara Ó Briain (His two word contribution to his team's question in round two of the "make the Taskmaster guess your team's word" live task: "How would you describe enormous hugeness?")
• Episode 3: Fern Brady (An insult directed at John Kearns during the "put the most sand in the trolly" task, unaware that he was trying to sabotage their team. Then picked up on by the Taskmaster: "Fern had already called you 'Dafty in the middle' before the task sabotage even started!")
• Episode 4: Sarah Millican (Part of her lyrics for the "classical song" task: "Oh, look, there are crumbs in my bralette.")
• Episode 5: Dara Ó Briain (explaining his character from the "perform the best routine to this musical backing" task: "Biff Chippington... he's the actor who plays the character. Chip Biffington is the character.")
• Episode 6: The Taskmaster (describing Munya Chawawa's submission for the live task: "It looks like a long-legged lobster!")
• Episode 7: Fern Brady, and embraced by the Taskmaster (describing the system of using multiple paper plates to carry the feather in the "get the feather into the bath" task: "I remember thinkin' I'd come up with a pretty good system, the system of endless plates, and that kept us goin'...")^note not only were there only twelve plates, but the "system" was actually thought of by Dara
• Episode 8: Fern Brady (Justifying her apparent lack of a system while trying to find a tail and an animal to pin it on while blindfolded: "I was gonna use the one that bats do where you, like, make a clicking sound...")
• Episode 9: John Kearns (Discussing the destruction of the sausage he was using a paintbrush in the self-portrait task, having been instructed to use 'the business end': "What if the business end has fallen off? Is it a new business end?")
• Episode 10: Fern Brady (On being asked if she remembered the items in the final task, having previously ordered them in the first task: "Wait, did I meet these potatoes before?")

Series Ranking

1. Dara Ó Briain (184 points)
2. Sarah Millican (174 points)
3. Munya Chawawa (150 points)
4. Fern Brady and John Kearns (144 points)

Dara Ó Briain becomes the first main series contestant sitting in the first chair to win the series. He also becomes the highest-scoring main series champion. This is also the first season in which technically there is no official last place contestant, Fern Brady and John Kearns sharing joint fourth place ("So in a way we have two losers").