Recap / Taskmaster Series Seven

Taskmaster recap index
British series:
Series: One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve | Thirteen | Fourteen | Fifteen | Sixteen | Seventeen
Specials: Champion of Champions | New Year Treats and One-Offs
New Zealand series:
Seasons: One | Two | Three | Four
Australian series:
Seasons: One

Cast

From left: Rhod Gilbert, Kerry Godliman, Phil Wang, Greg Davies (seated), Alex Horne, James Acaster, Jessica Knappett

• Taskmaster: Greg Davies
• Taskmaster's Assistant: Alex Horne
• Contestants: James Acaster, Jessica Knappett, Kerry Godliman, Phil Wang, Rhod Gilbert
• Teams:
  • Jessica Knappett and Kerry Godliman ("The Girls")
  • James Acaster, Phil Wang and Rhod Gilbert ("The Boys")

Episode 6, "A Coquettish Fascinator", is the fiftieth episode of the show.

This page contains unmarked spoilers for the series in question. If you haven't seen the series yet, you are recommended to leave the page now. You have been warned.

Episodes

Episode 1 - "The Mean Bean"

• Prize Task: The Thing Most People Would Like To Touch
  • Winner: Phil - a toy chariot (5 points)
  • Rhod - a replica of a teddy bear which the Taskmaster owned as a child which he reportedly had "relations" with as a sexually frustrated teenager (4 points)
  • James and Kerry (2 points)
    • James - a lifesize cardboard cutout of MC Hammer^note notable for his 1990s hit "U Can't Touch This" (2 points)
    • Kerry - a Newton's cradle
  • Jessica - a "do not touch" sign (1 point)

• Task 1: Design And Demonstrate The Best Quick-Change Outfit
  • Winner: Kerry (5 points)
  • Jessica (4 points)
  • Rhod (3 points)^note Rhod was technically second in terms of speed, but points were deducted because he simply removed a pair of bikini briefs that the Taskmaster's Assistant was wearing
  • James (2 points)
  • Phil (1 point)

• Task 2: Built The Highest Tower. You Have Five Minutes From The Time Your First Box Is Assembled
  • Winner: Rhod (5 points)
  • Kerry (4 points)
  • Jessica (3 points)
  • Phil (2 points)
  • James (1 point)

• Task 3: Work Out The Circumference Of The Taskmaster's Caravan In Baked Beans. You Have Three Minutes
  • Winner: Kerry (5 points)
  • James (4 points)
  • Jessica (3 points)
  • Rhod (2 points)
  • Phil (1 point)

• Live Task: Make The Best Fruit Display Hat Without Touching The Fruit Or Your Hat (Except With Fruit-Pickers)
  • Winner: Rhod (5 points)
  • Kerry and Phil (4 points)
  • Jessica (3 points)
  • James (1 point +1 bonus point)^note bonus point awarded due to James's "desperation"; as the other contestants partnered up, he was left without a partner and a possibly faulty fruit-picker, leaving him at a disadvantage

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Kerry Godliman (20 points)
  2. Rhod Gilbert (19 points)
  3. Jessica Knappett (14 points)
  4. Phil Wang (13 points)
  5. James Acaster (11 points)

Episode 2 - "My Eyes Are Circles"

• Prize Task: The Boldest Belt
  • Winner: Rhod - a belt with a stuffed goat's head attached to it (5 points)
  • Phil - a custom-made belt with a bright pink strap and lion's head buckle worth £50 (4 points)
  • Kerry - a wrestling belt worth £24 (3 points)
  • Jessica - a seat belt pillow (2 points)
  • James - £500 worth (allegedly) of rainbow "fizzy belts" confectionary (1 point)

• Task 1: Write The Best Ten-Word Micro Story While Running Across A Field. Fastest Across The Finish Line Wins
  • Winner: James - The boy ran to France, and I loved that boy. (5 points)
  • Jessica - The albino partridge ran away and found its mother dead. (4 points)
  • Kerry - There was a girl that needed shoes and got shoes. (3 points)
  • Phil - An ogre was hungry, ate a child. It was his. (2 points)^note failed to spot the clipboard next to the starting line and delivered his story 'in the oral tradition'
  • Rhod - The man ran for exactly ten minutes twelve seconds, losing. (1 point)

• Task 2: Team Task - One Team Member Must Paint The Best Still Life While Blindfolded. The Other Team Member(s) Must Guide Them Without Moving From Their Chair(s) And Using Only A Selection Of Approved Words^note Banana; Down; Left; Less; More; Pick; Right; Up; Whoops
  • Winner: James, Phil and Rhod (3 points)
  • Jessica and Kerry (2 points)

• Task 3: Predict Which Of The Three Provided Objects^note an airhorn, an apple and a £10 note Your Assigned Contestant Will Choose And Use. You Also Receive Five Points If The Contestant Assigned To You Correctly Guesses Your Action
  • Winner: Jessica - used the airhorn; correctly guessed that Kerry would take the £10 note (10 points)
  • Everyone Else (5 points)
    • James - used the airhorn; correctly guessed that Jessica would also use the airhorn
    • Kerry - took the £10 note; incorrectly guessed that Phil would use the airhorn
    • Phil - ate the apple; correctly guessed that Rhod would use the airhorn
    • Rhod - used the airhorn (in the Taskmaster's Assistant's face); incorrectly guessed that James would take the £10 note

• Task 4: Draw The Biggest And Best Circle In One Attempt
  • Winner: Kerry (5 points)
  • Rhod (4 points)^note using a large circular pedestal base, traced a circle on a printed map of Europe
  • Jessica (3 points)
  • Phil (2 points)
  • James (1 point)^note appeared to misunderstand the task and instead tried to accumulate the "most" circles, but much to the Taskmaster's ire was awarded a point because he "found" one in the brickwork of the garden

• Live Task: Make The Highest Tower Of Cans Within The Hoop You Are Standing In. You May Not Leave The Hoop. The Tower Must Remain Freestanding For Ten Seconds After The End Whistle
  • Winner: Kerry (5 points)
  • Rhod (4 points)
  • Phil (3 points)
  • Jessica (2 points)
  • James (1 point)

• Tiebreaker: Guess The Number Printed On The Taskmaster Assistant's Arm^note 28.51. Closest Guess Wins
  • Winner: Kerry (1 point)
  • Jessica (0 points)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Kerry Godliman (23 points +1 tiebreaker)^note Tiebreakers are not technically worth points and so do not count towards the overall episode and season tally; it is included here simply for the purposes of clarifying the winner
  2. Jessica Knappett (23 points)
  3. Rhod Gilbert (22 points)
  4. Phil Wang (19 points)
  5. James Acaster (16 points)

Episode 3 - "Twelve Blush Majesty Two"

• Prize Task: Best Thing From The 1990s
  • Winner: Kerry - a DVD boxset of Friends (5 points)
  • James - a collage of toddler photos of himself to celebrate the 1990s being when he grew out of being a toddler (4 points)
  • Phil - himself^note he was born on January 22 1990; the Taskmaster initially gave him one point, but agreed to give him three on condition that Phil agreed to be "kept" in the house of the winner (3 points)
  • Jessica and Rhod (Disqualified)
    • Jessica - a copy of How To Be Utterly Brilliant by children's broadcaster Timmy Mallett^note disqualified as it was actually published in 1989
    • Rhod - an embarrassing photograph of the Taskmaster and, as back-up, a photograph of The Spice Girls... with the embarrassing photograph of the Taskmaster digitally inserted^note disqualified as the photograph of the Taskmaster dated from 2010 and the second photo, although based from an image from the 1990s, had clearly been digitally altered after that. Though one suspects personal motives on the Taskmaster's part as well...

• Task 1: Excite The Taskmaster's Assistant. Greatest Increase From His Current Heart Rate Wins
  • Winner: Jessica (5 points)
  • James (4 points)
  • Kerry (3 points)
  • Rhod (2 points)
  • Phil (1 point)

• Task 2: Make The Best Noise
  • Winner: Phil (5 points)
  • Jessica (4 points)
  • Kerry (3 points)
  • James (2 points)
  • Rhod (1 point)^note did not help himself by creating his "sound" by dropping dog excrement on a cardboard cutout of the Taskmaster's face

• Task 3: Get The Cricket Ball Into The Golf Hole In As Few Strokes As Possible, Without Otherwise Touching Or Carrying The Ball
  • Winner: Rhod (5 points)^note Scored a hole in one; he dug up the hole and moved it next to the tee, knocking the ball in with the aid of a piece of drainpipe
  • Phil (4 points)
  • James (3 points)
  • Kerry (2 points)
  • Jessica (1 point)

• Live Task: Write Down A Ten-Word Fact And Then Mouth It To The Taskmaster. Most Accurate Reading The Taskmaster Makes Wins. Most Interesting Fact Receives A Bonus Point
  • Winner: Jessica (5 points) and James (4 points +1 bonus point)
    • Jessica - Did you know ants live an average of twenty-two years?^note Taskmaster's guess: Did you know that ants live to an average of twenty-two years?
    • James - Only humans and armadillos can catch the awful disease leprosy^note Taskmaster's guess: Only eubats and armadillos can catch the awful disease leprosy. Afterwards, the Taskmaster conceded he should have probably guessed "humans" from context clues.
  • Kerry - I was born in Perivale, Ealing, London, UK, Europe, Earth (4 points)^note Taskmaster's guess: I was born in Perivale in London, UK, Europe, Earth.
  • Phil - Phil Wang's shoe size is twelve plus two minus two (2 points)^note Taskmaster's guess: Phil Wang's tool sacks twelve blush majesty two.
  • Rhod - Greg broke a toilet seat by sitting on said toilet (1 point)^note Taskmaster's guess: Greg brawls in dog jail think bail failing old dog death.

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: James Acaster (18 points)
  2. Kerry Godliman (17 points)
  3. Jessica Knappett and Phil Wang (15 points)
  4. Rhod Gilbert (9 points)

As of Series 14, this is the only episode in which the Taskmaster awarded no points to a prize task entry.

Episode 4 - "Ollie"

• Prize Task: Most Confusing Thing
  • Winner: Jessica - A yellow t-shirt purchased in Spain with an image of a bird saying "IUF! That Comes The Raven!" (5 points)
  • Phil - a puzzle box^note The Taskmaster's unsuccessful attempt to open it led to both the infamous "Just open it, you pussy!" moment with James, and to him throwing it on the floor in frustration. (4 points)
  • Rhod - a t-shirt with an upside-down version of his "favourite image": the embarrassing photograph of the Taskmaster from episode 3 (3 points)
  • Kerry - the wires from the back of her television set (2 points)
  • James - a DVD copy of The Matrix (1 point)

• Task 1: Work Out What Happens When You Flick This Switch On, Without Taking The Switch Out Of The Room^note it gives the Taskmaster's Assistant a signal to move Ollie, the knight statue in the garden
  • Winner: James (5 points)
  • Kerry (4 points)
  • Phil (3 points)
  • Jessica (2 points)
  • Rhod (1 point)^note technically Rhod did not work out what happened, but he did argue that nothing happened if you switched off the connector switch underneath the task switch

• Task 2: Dramatically Alter Your Appearance (In The Time It Takes This Elevator To Go Down One Floor)
  • Winner: Rhod (5 points)
  • Jessica (4 points)
  • Kerry (3 points)
  • Phil (2 points)
  • James (1 point)^note attempted and failed to stop the elevator between floors using the emergency switch for more time

• Task 3: Make These Butcher's Scales Read 31.770kg^note the exact weight of Ollie the statue; the weight also reads OLLIE when the digital numbers are read upside down For At Least Five Seconds
  • Winner: James (5 points)
  • Rhod (4 points)
  • Kerry (3 points)
  • Phil (2 points)
  • Jessica (1 point)

• Live Task: Correctly Don The Most New Items Of Clothing In 100 Seconds While Handcuffed
  • Winner: James (5 points)
  • Jessica, Kerry and Rhod (4 points)
  • Phil (1 point)

• Tiebreaker: Make The Best Paper Plane Out Of Toilet Roll
  • Winner: Rhod (1 point)
  • James (0 points)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Rhod Gilbert (17 points +1 tiebreaker)^note Tiebreakers are not technically worth points and so do not count towards the overall episode and season tally; it is included here simply for the purposes of clarifying the winner
  2. James Acaster (17 points)
  3. Jessica Knappett and Kerry Godliman (16 points)
  4. Phil Wang (12 points)

Episode 5 - "Lotta Soup"

• Prize Task: Worst Present From A Named Relative
  • Winner: Jessica - the opera gloves and feather boa given to her by her mother for her senior school disco, which resulted in a terrible evening of being ignored by boys (5 points)
  • Rhod - a candle-holder given to him by his wife Sian... which had been given to her by the Taskmaster (4 points)
  • Kerry - yin-yang dream-catcher earrings given to her by her mother, made by her mother's friend (3 points)
  • James - a joke-calendar made for him by his then-five year old nephew, which he later admitted to actually treasuring (2 points)
  • Phil - used toilet paper given to him by his sister, on his request^note was placed last because the fact that he requested it made it technically a gift that he wanted, despite its disgusting nature, so was not a sincere contribution (1 point)

• Task 1: Deliver This Task To The Taskmaster's Assistant (Who Is In The Caravan) In The Most Spectacular Way
  • Winner: James - heralded the delivery of the task with triumphant music, confetti, a dancing Santa Claus and fireworks, before having Richard Osman walk up and deliver the task (5 points)
  • Rhod - threw the task through the door of the caravan while impaled on a javelin, risking death to the Taskmaster's Assistant had he misthrown (4 points)
  • Jessica - attached the task to a basket underneath a collection of balloons and floated it to the caravan (3 points)
  • Phil - had "Taylor Swift"^note in actuality a "junior member of the production crew from the north of England" wearing a cut-out of Taylor Swift's face open the caravan window for him to run past and throw it in, with "Fuck You James Acaster" written on the task^note when James, not unreasonably, demanded to know what that was all about, Phil admitted that at the time he had envisioned a scenario where he and James had developed a rivalry over the series, only to completely forget about it. (2 points)
  • Kerry - used the crew to perform a "Busby Berkeley"-style rain dance while humming an irritating tune, later described by the Taskmaster as "shit on so many levels" (1 points)

• Task 2: Secret Team Task: Make As Many White Circles On The Target From Behind The Rope. You Have Five Minutes, Unless You Are Phil Wang, In Which Case You Have Twenty Minutes
  • Winner: James, Jessica, Kerry and Rhod (5 points)
  • Phil (0 points)

• Task 3: Cheer Up This Former Traffic Warden^note Geoff In Twenty Minutes
  • Winner: James and Jessica (5 points)
  • Phil (3 points)
  • Rhod (2 points)^note told the traffic warden to "cheer up" and called time
  • Kerry (1 point)

• Task 4: Team Task - Make Yourselves Look As Little Or Big As Possible In Twenty Minutes
  • Winner: James, Phil and Rhod (3 points)
  • Jessica and Kerry (2 points)

• Live Task: Team Task - Taking It In Turns, A Different Member Of Each Team Must Dangle One Item From The Hanger Within Twenty Seconds Of The Last Turn. Once You Have Touched An Item You Must Dangle It. First Team To Cause A Hanging Item To Fall Loses^note as noted by James, this is essentially "Coathanger Buckaroo". Also, the Taskmaster was able to accurately predict that Rhod would make a joke about his weight.
  • Winner: Jessica and Kerry (5 points)
  • James, Phil and Rhod (0 points)
    
    This is the first live team task.

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Jessica Knappett (25 points)
  2. James Acaster (20 points)
  3. Rhod Gilbert (18 points)
  4. Kerry Godliman (17 points)
  5. Phil Wang (9 points)

Episode 6 - "A Coquettish Fascinator"

• Prize Task: The Best Key
  • Winner: Kerry - the key to her (rather dilapidated) camper van (5 points)
  • Jessica - A key lime pie (4 points)
  • Rhod - the "key" on a line graph... with the lines represented by the embarrassing photo of the Taskmaster from episode 3 (3 points)^note points deducted due to him being "a bit gobby" with the Taskmaster during the round. Though as it was the embarrassing picture again...
  • Phil - the "G" key from a piano^note points deducted because the Taskmaster was skeptical he'd brought one in (2 points)
  • James - a bowl of ice cream, described by James as "the key to [his] heart" (1 point)

• Task 1a: Put Exactly 50 Different Things In This Bin...'
  • Winner: James - 58 seconds (5 points)^note saved time by putting in 49 pebbles and a ukulele
  • Kerry - 1 minute 27 seconds (4 points)
  • Rhod - 2 minutes 30 seconds (3 points)
  • Jessica - 2 minutes 52 seconds (2 points)
  • Phil - 6 minutes 57 seconds (1 point +1 bonus point)^note bonus point awarded as Phil was the only contestant to find fifty literally different things in the bin, with no duplicate items. This was also awarded in lieu of the promised extra point the Taskmaster had promised to give Phil had he brought in a genuine piano key in the prize task.

• Task 1b: ... And Then Using The Items You Put In The Bin, Make The Best Picture Of The Taskmaster'
  • Winner: James (5 points)^note Broke the ukulele apart into multiple pieces to give himself more to work with. The Taskmaster was especially pleased with James's depiction, and stated that he would have given him 10 points if the show allowed it.
  • Rhod (4 points)
  • Kerry (3 points)
  • Jessica (2 points)^note Jessica was the only contestant to put art supplies in her bin, but forgot to use them while making her picture.
  • Phil (1 point)

• Task 2: Team Task - Write And Record The Best Soap Opera Cliffhanger
  • Winner: James, Phil and Rhod - Feelings^note Phil has been in the bath for nine months, is pregnant and has been having an affair with "Rub-A-Dub-Dub" Rhod, leaving James downstairs waiting for his dinner all that time (3 points)
  • Jessica and Kerry - Cul-De-Sac^note "Donna" and "Donna" have been having an affair with the same man, who Kerry-"Donna" belatedly learns is her son (2 points)

• Task 3: Fit All The Pairs Of Glasses^note drinking glasses, not spectacles In The Lab Into One Of The Boxes In The Caravan Without Breaking Any Pair. You Must Choose Your Box Before Leaving The Caravan. Smallest Box Containing All The Glasses Wins
  • Winner: Phil (5 points)^note Fit all of the glasses into Box F. Correctly guessed the glasses would be drinking glasses; despite breaking one of the glasses, points were awarded because the Taskmaster decreed that the rules only stated that a "pair" of glasses couldn't be broken, and the matching glass remained intact
  • Jessica (4 points)^note Fit all of the glasses into Box E, suspecting the trick to be giant pairs of spectacles
  • Kerry (3 points)^note Fit 15 out of 20 of the glasses into Box H
  • James (2 points)^note Fit 12 out of 20 of the glasses into Box I
  • Rhod (Disqualified)^note left the caravan before choosing a box, then went back... and chose Box G, which was too small to contain all the glasses.

• Live Task: Get Your Inflatable Donut As High As Possible While Holding Hands With The Person On Either Side Of You. Highest Donut After 100 Seconds Wins^note if the donut was in the air at the end of the task, it would be judged from where it landed. The Taskmaster and his Assistant were at either end of the line so all the contestants had both hands full
  • Winner: Rhod (5 points)^note kicked his donut into the audience and had them pass it back until it was held aloft by somebody in the back row
  • Phil (4 points)
  • James (3 points)
  • Jessica (2 points)
  • Kerry (Disqualified)^note took the opportunity after accidentally letting go of both hands to put a donut around her head

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: James Acaster (19 points)
  2. Rhod Gilbert (18 points)
  3. Kerry Godliman and Phil Wang (17 points)
  4. Jessica Knappett (16 points)

Episode 7 - "The Perfect Stuff"

• Prize Task: Most Exciting Thing Beginning With "G"
  • Winner: N/A
  • James and Rhod (2 points)
    • James - "Gandhi's glasses", a pair of spectacles he claimed — unconvincingly — were once owned by Gandhi
    • Rhod - samples from the Taskmaster's childhood toy collection, including a Six Million-Dollar Man action figure with no pants and a collection of glove puppets the Taskmaster claimed — unconvincingly — had actually belonged to his sister
  • Jessica, Kerry and Phil (1 point)
    • Jessica - a signed copy of a programme of one of the Taskmaster's live-comedy shows that Jessica had tricked him into signing for her father... after giving him a false name for her father
    • Kerry - a bowl of (rather unappetising-looking) guacamole
    • Phil - a souvenir gold-coloured US$5 bill... worth US$3.95

The above marks the first time that no one in a prize round has scored more than three points. The Taskmaster was deeply unimpressed with the offerings.

• Task 1: Throw An Object Into The Bin On The Other Side Of The Taskmaster House's Fence. You Must Remain On The Taskmaster House Side Of The Fence And May Not Touch The Fence Or Use A Ladder. Fastest Wins
  • Winner: Rhod (5 points)
  • Phil (4 points)
  • Jessica (3 points)
  • Kerry (2 points)
  • James (1 point)

• Task 2: Don't Blink. Last To Blink Wins^note All of the contestants failed to realize that they could have simply closed their eyes before the task timer started and thus wouldn't need to blink.
  • Winner: Rhod (5 points)
  • Jessica (4 points)
  • James (3 points)
  • Phil (2 points)
  • Kerry (1 point)

• Task 3: Team Task - Make The Best Extension To The Taskmaster House In Thirty Minutes
  • Winner: Jessica and Kerry (4 points)
  • James (2 points)^note sympathy points awarded as his team essentially splintered into two teams, and his teammates abandoned him to work on a much sub-par effort which ultimately amounted to sticking cardboard on the garage
  • Phil and Rhod (1 point)

This is the first (and as of 2023 only) team task in which one team member is scored separately to their teammates, although some future team tasks will see some contestants receive bonus points on top of their overall team score, or given tasks counter to those of their teammates.

• Task 4: Make The Best Christmas Cracker
  • Winner: Phil (5 points)
  • James, Jessica, Kerry and Rhod (3 points)

• Live Task: Walk Over And Hit The Drum In Exactly 9.58 Seconds. Two Bonus Points For The Person With The Most Magnificent Walk
  • Winner: Rhod (5 points)
  • James (4 points)
  • Kerry (3 points)
  • Phil (2 points)
  • Jessica (1 point +2 bonus points)^note Jessica fell off the stage during her attempt at a walk, so while perhaps not exactly "magnificent" it was decided she had earned them. The stage extension was later officially named "the Knappett" in her honour.

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Rhod Gilbert (21 points)
  2. Jessica Knappett (18 points)
  3. James Acaster and Phil Wang (15 points)
  4. Kerry Godliman (14 points)

Episode 8 - "Mother Honks Her Horn"

• Prize Task: Creepiest Thing
  • Joint Winner: Kerry and Rhod (5 points)
    • Kerry - a t-shirt reading "I'm not a gynecologist but ill[sic] have a damn good look for you!", worn by a man sitting opposite Kerry on a train who didn't break eye-contact with her for four stops
    • Rhod - a video of the Taskmaster sleeping, taken by Rhod after hiding in the Taskmaster's bedroom closet after a party
  • James - a mummified cat, previously an exhibit in the Kettering Manor House Museum (4 points)
  • Jessica - her collection of bizarre and macabre Victorian Christmas cards, revolving around small animals in various states of death and contortion (2 points)
  • Phil - a finger-painting of himself made and given to him by a fan, which the others judged to be quite good (1 point)

• Task 1: Poke The Least Expected Thing Through The Hole In The Roof Of This Grotto
  • Winner: Rhod - the Taskmaster's Assistant's exposed rear end, with accompanying squirts of water from a bottle and classical music (5 points)
  • Jessica - the task, which had been set on fire (4 points)
  • James, Kerry and Phil (2 points)
    • James - his underpants, accompanied by an improvised song entitled "Pants On A Stick"
    • Kerry - her bra
    • Phil - his jumpsuit

• Task 2: Join The Tasks^note separate tasks, each with an individual letter and a direction, have been hidden around the Taskmaster's House. The contestants have to locate all the tasks and piece together the letters to complete the instruction — SCREAM. Quickest wins. In order to prevent the contestants guessing the word ahead of time, the S was the last letter given, with the instruction to put it at the beginning.
  • Winner: James (5 points)
  • Jessica (4 points)
  • Kerry (3 points)
  • Phil (2 points)
  • Rhod (1 point)

• Task 3: Compose The Best 30 Second Piece Of Music With This Accompanying Band^note Kieran Towers, George Buzma and Dan Edwards
  • Winner: Jessica - The Easy Triangles, "Here I Am, I'm A Violin" (5 points)
  • James and Rhod (4 points)
    • James - Clump Stump, "Over My Shoulder"
    • Rhod - Rhod Gilbert and The Little Matchgirls, "The Ballad of the Toothless Goon"^note Rhod went overtime by 3x the required length, coming in at a minute and a half
  • Kerry - The Hokey-Kokey Good Times, "Havin' a Great Time Anytime" (3 points)
  • Phil - Kill Phil, "The Yellow Blues (Green)'' (2 points)

• Live Task: "Bob" When You Hear The Surname Of A Famous Bob, "Pat" When You Hear The Surname Of A Famous Pat, "Kneel" When You Hear The Surname Of A Famous Neil, "Stew"^note stir When You Hear The Surname Of A Famous Stew, And "Wane"^note shrink yourself When You Hear The Surname Of A Famous Wayne. Incorrect Actions And Failing To Act Within 10 Seconds Will Result In Disqualification. Last One Standing Wins
  • Winner: Rhod (5 points)
  • Jessica (4 points)
  • Kerry (3 points)
  • Phil (2 points)
  • James (1 point)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Rhod Gilbert (20 points)
  2. Jessica Knappett (19 points)
  3. James Acaster and Kerry Godliman (16 points)
  4. Phil Wang (9 points)

Episode 9 - "The Pendulum Draws The Eye"

• Prize Task: Most Surprisingly Beautiful Thing
  • Winner: Phil - a Jack-in-the-Box with a photograph of Princess Grace Kelly of Monaco taped onto its face (5 points)
  • Jessica - some microscopic photography of grains of sand (4 points)
  • James - a strange yet surprisingly compelling caricature of himself, drawn by a friend (3 points)
  • Kerry - a piece of artwork depicting a placenta made from a placenta (2 points)
  • Rhod - an evening photograph of the "surprising beauty" of the docks and steelworks of Port Talbot, Wales... with the embarrassing photograph of the Taskmaster from episode 3 digitally inserted (1 point)^note the Taskmaster dropped any pretence that it wasn't about the use of the embarrassing picture, arguing that Rhod had over-used it by that point

• Task 1: Put The Most Money In The Small Bowl (Floating Inside A Larger Fish Bowl) Without Touching Or Sinking It. You Must Also Say Your Own Name Every 30 Seconds. The Amount With The Highest Total Numerical Value^note i.e. a 50p piece is worth 50, whereas a £1 coin is worth 1 Wins
  • Winner: Kerry (5 points)
  • James, Jessica, Phil and Rhod (Disqualified)^note each contestant overloaded the bowl and sunk it

• Task 2a: Split Task - Be Photographed In The Most Unusual Situation Wearing This Fez
  • Winner: Jessica - a photograph of herself in the cockpit of a passenger airliner with the pilot, apparently nicknamed "Fez" (3 points)
  • Kerry - a photo of herself in "Tudory times" wearing the fez along with an Elizabethan gown (2 points)
  • Rhod - a photo of the Taskmaster's mother wearing the fez while in the bath (1 point)^note points deducted as Rhod was not the one photographed wearing the fez

• Task 2b: Split Task - Hula For 1 Minute, Then Improve Your Score In The Studio Recording. Greatest Improvement Wins
  • Winner: N/A^note despite choking on his first attempt in the studio, James insisted he had been practicing and subsequently demonstrated clear improvement — but as his first studio attempt did not beat his video attempt, the Taskmaster did not give him full marks
  • James (2 points)
  • Phil (1 point)

• Task 3: Find The Sock With The Satsuma Inside Without Looking Inside Any Sock. You May Put Your Hand Inside 3 Socks, Squeeze 5 Socks, Stroke 10 Socks, Put 11 Socks On Your Feet And Sniff 20 Socks^note it was in the eighth sock — as identified by a large number "8" on the caravan, which no contestant managed to spot
  • Winner: N/A^note Rhod put a satsuma he'd found in the kitchen in one of the socks (which already had a snooker ball in it, but he pointed out the task said nothing about it only containing a satsuma). He technically got the quickest time, but James — already smarting over the strict interpretation of the rules regarding the hula-hooping task — objected on the grounds of bias and favouritism. The Taskmaster therefore ruled that the task would receive no winner "to avoid all this shit"
  • Kerry and Rhod (4 points)
  • James (3 points)
  • Jessica (2 points)
  • Phil (Disqualified)^note instead of a satsuma, the sock he chose contained A LIME!

• Task 4: Team Task - Achieve A Rally Of Exactly 24 Shots. You Must Each Take The Same Amount Of Shots And Must Be Stood At Least Six Foot 8 Inches^note the height of the Taskmaster Apart. Objects Used Must Not Touch The Ground Or Held. Bonus Point For The Team Which Uses The Most Ambitious Equipment. Fastest Wins
  • Winner: Jessica and Kerry (5 points)
  • James, Phil and Rhod (+1 bonus point)^note despite conclusively failing the task, the Taskmaster decided that their attempt showed enough ambition to have earned the bonus point

• Live Task: Write Your Name And Draw A Picture Of A Happy Horse Upside Down On A Sheet Of Overhead Projector Acetate In 100 Seconds. You Must Not Rotate Or Manipulate The Acetate. Most Accurate Writing And Picture Wins
  • Winner: James (5 points)
  • Jessica and Phil (4 points)
  • Kerry (3 points)
  • Rhod (2 points)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Kerry Godliman (21 points)
  2. Jessica Knappett (18 points)
  3. James Acaster (14 points)
  4. Phil Wang (11 points)
  5. Rhod Gilbert (9 points)

Episode 10 - "I Can Hear It Gooping"

• Prize Task: Most Magnificent Stationery
  • Winner: Kerry - a laminator (5 points)
  • Phil - a "custom-made solid gold pen" (in actuality a biro clumsily wrapped in gold foil with "24 carat gold" written on it) (4 points)^note awarded this position out of pity by the Taskmaster (4 points)
  • James - a cake baked into the shape of a pencil (3 points)
  • Jessica - her "favourite pencil", which has "I Completed My 1993 Transportation Survey!" written on it (which she claims not to have completed)^note FWIW Jessica would have been nine when this survey was conducted, so she probably didn't (2 points)
  • Rhod - a photo of "Holepunch", his "favourite Gladiator"... which bears a striking resemblance to the embarrassing photograph of the Taskmaster from episode 3 (1 point)

• Task 1: When You Hear This Siren During A Future Task, Stop What You Are Doing, Put On Your Taskmaster Boiler Suit, And Lie Flat On The Ground. You May Not Touch Or Move The Boiler Suit Until The Siren Sounds. Quickest Wins^note the siren would eventually sound during Task 4 of this episode
  • Winner: Phil - 1 minute 14 seconds (5 points)^note took so long to start tying himself up that he had no obstruction when the siren went off
  • Rhod - 2 minutes 22 seconds (4 points)^note though he had no obstruction when the siren went off, mistook the siren for a local noise until prompted by the Taskmaster's Assistant
  • Jessica - 2 minutes 36 seconds (3 points)
  • James - 2 minutes 46 seconds (2 points)
  • Kerry - 8 minutes 30 seconds (1 point)^note elected to complete Task 4 before attempting this one

• Task 2: Find The Boiled Egg^note the eggs were arranged in "alphabetical" order from the right — namely, "Air" (empty), "Boiled", "Clingfilm", "Dummy", "Egg (Quail)", "Fresh". You May Touch Two Eggs And Damage Two Eggs (But May Not Damage The Boiled Egg). Fastest Wins
  • Winner: James (5 points)
  • Everyone Else (Disqualified)^note either broke the boiled egg or failed to identify it

• Task 3: Physically Recreate A Classic Computer Game In One Hour. Best Recreation Wins
  • Winner: James - Grand Theft Auto III^note technically no specific installment was specified, but style-wise James's recreation was from III onwards. (5 points)
  • Rhod - Space Invaders (4 points)
  • Jessica and Phil (3 points)
    • Jessica - Mario Kart
    • Phil - GoldenEye
  • Kerry - Tetris (2 points)

• Task 4: Tie Yourself Up As Securely As Possible In Ten Minutes. Slowest To Be Released By The Taskmaster's Assistant Wins^note at the five minute mark, task was interrupted by the siren from Task 1
  • Winner: Rhod - N/A (5 points)^note tied the Taskmaster's Assistant up before tying himself up, so securely that Rhod eventually had to free the Taskmaster's Assistant rather than the other way around
  • James - 8 minutes 5 seconds (4 points)
  • Jessica - 2 minutes 46 seconds (3 points)
  • Kerry - 2 minutes 45 seconds (2 points)
  • Phil - 1 minute (1 point)

• Live Task: Sausage Or Finger?^note contestants are equipped with a glove with uncooked sausages on the end of the fingers, and are required to touch the contestant in front of them, who is blindfolded, with either a sausage or their bare finger. If the blindfolded contestant guesses which they used incorrectly, they are eliminated. Last standing wins.
  • Winner: Kerry (5 points)
  • Rhod, Jessica, Phil and James (0 points)^note eliminated from play in that order

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: James Acaster (19 points)
  2. Kerry Godliman (15 points)
  3. Rhod Gilbert (14 points)
  4. Phil Wang (13 points)
  5. Jessica Knappett (11 points)

Episode Tally

• Kerry Godliman, James Acaster and Rhod Gilbert = 3 episodes
  • Kerry (Episodes 1, 2 and 9)
  • James (Episodes 3, 6 and 10)
  • Rhod (Episodes 4, 7 and 8)
• Jessica Knappett = 1 episode (Episode 5)
• Phil Wang = 0 episodes

This series marks the first time that more than two contestants have tied for amount of episodes won, including the eventual series champion. Until Series 13, it was the most recent series (and the only 10-episode series) where at least one contestant never won an episode. This is the second series where each contestant has placed last in at least one episode.

Task Tally

A breakdown of the tasks as won by the contestants is as follows:

• Rhod Gilbert: 18 tasks (2 prize tasks [1 joint with Kerry], 7 video tasks, 3 video team tasks, 1 "secret team task" [with everyone but Phil], 4 live tasks, 1 tiebreaker)
• James Acaster: 17 tasks (10 video tasks [1 joint with Jessica], 3 video team tasks, 1 "secret team task" [with everyone but Phil], 3 live tasks [1 joint with Jessica^note She won 5 points for the task and James won 4, but he also won a bonus point promised by the task.])
• Kerry Godliman: 15 tasks (4 prize tasks [1 joint with Rhod], 4 video tasks, 2 video team tasks, 1 "secret team task" [with everyone but Phil], 2 live tasks, 1 live team task, 1 tiebreaker)
• Jessica Knappett: 12 tasks (2 prize tasks, 5 video tasks [1 joint with James], 2 video team tasks, 1 "secret team task" [with everyone but Phil], 1 live task [joint with James], 1 live team task)
• Phil Wang: 9 tasks (2 prize tasks, 4 video tasks, 3 video team tasks)

One prize task had no winner, in episode 7: the highest scorers were James and Rhod, with 2 points each. Two video tasks also had no winner, both in episode 9: James did not receive full marks for his part of the split task (hula hooping), and the Taskmaster declined to name a winner for the "sock with the satsuma" task (Kerry and Rhod tied on 4 points).

Episode Titles

Each episode is a Title Drop made by either a participant in the show, the Taskmaster, or the Taskmaster's Assistant. In this series, the titles were provided by:

• Episode 1: The Taskmaster's Assistant (when discussing Rhod Gilbert's method of measuring beans to complete the "determine the circumference of the caravan in beans" task: "The mean bean is actually 1.3cm.")
• Episode 2: James Acaster (when challenged by the Taskmaster regarding his disastrous method of completing "draw the biggest circle" task, which he apparently interpreted as "locate as many circles as possible": "That's my reading of what I just saw. Have you got anything different to add?" "... My eyes are circles?")
• Episode 3: The Taskmaster (trying to read Phil Wang's lips during the "write a ten word message and mouth it to the Taskmaster" live task: "Phil Wang's tool sacks twelve blush majesty two.")
• Episode 4: James Acaster (technically the episode is actually named for Ollie, the knight statue, but James also provides a title drop on realising that the weight required in the "make these scales weigh 31.770kg" is "Ollie! It's Ollie upside down!")
• Episode 5: Phil Wang (a joke he cracked during his attempt to "cheer up this traffic warden", on learning that he had lived in Campbelltown in Scotland: "Lotta soup in Campbelltown... lotta soup.")
• Episode 6: The Taskmaster (describing a silver bowl Kerry Godliman used as a hat in her "make the best portrait of the Taskmaster" submission, which she described as a "fascinator": "A little coquettish fascinator."
• Episode 7:James Acaster (during his rant about Rhod Gilbert's failure to alert his teammates about the supplies in the garage that could have been used in the "build the best extension to the Taskmaster House" team task: "I thought on the day that it's bad enough that he's done that, and put the cardboard on, and said 'This is an extension,' and then has kind of looked at us like 'what the fuck you gonna do about that?' and gone back into the house. I didn't know he'd also gone [mimes opening the garage] 'Oh! The perfect stuff!' [mimes closing it again] 'Eehhhhh!' and done that shit!")
• Episode 8: The Taskmaster (responding to Phil Wang's criticisms of the length of Rhod Gilbert's submission for the "compose the best 30 second song" task, in light of the Taskmaster's criticisms of his own song: "To be fair to Rhod, it's a harder narrative to cram into thirty seconds than 'some people play blues and an irritated mother honks her horn'.")
• Episode 9: The Taskmaster (discussing the unfortunate combination of Phil Wang's revealing costume used for the location tasks and his first attempt at the "improve your hula-hooping" task: "Sometimes it doesn't matter how ornate the grandfather clock is, the pendulum draws the eye.")
• Episode 10: James Acaster (during his attempt to "find the boiled egg", while shaking an egg wrapped in cling-film: "I'm touching the cling-film, not the egg... I can hear it gooping.")

Series Ranking

1. Winner: Kerry Godliman (176 points)
2. Jessica Knappett (175 points)
3. Rhod Gilbert (167 points)
4. James Acaster (165 points)
5. Phil Wang (133 points)

This is the second series wherein the difference between the series champion and their nearest competitor was a single point^note though Series 1 was marginally closer, as a single point separated three potential champions, rather than two as in this case.