The Cerritos is in orbit around an alien planet, scarred and burning from what must have been a monumental war. The good new is, it's over. The crew is helping the local humanoid population in their recovery efforts and, most importantly, removing the source of their conflict. The psychotic self-aware artificial intelligence who manipulated their entire civilization, AGIMUS, has been disconnected from his murder drone army and packaged for transport to a secure detainment facility at the Daystrom Institute. Confined to his box, the computer continues to set his wiles upon his handlers, but Starfleet is too familiar with his type to be fooled.
Upon returning to the ship, they are hailed by the Hysperian ship Monaveen. Freeman's polite greeting doesn't quite disguise her weariness at seeing Queen Paolana. She says her ship has developed a bit of an engine problem that has her engineers stumped and is requesting aid... when Billups walks onto the bridge and sees his mother on the viewscreen. The Queen launches into a barrage of inane questions about his health, bowling over her son's lethargic, perfunctory hello.
On the lower decks, Boimler is polishing a phaser rifle in preparation for an exciting new assignment that in some way involves giant centipedes. Mariner doesn't understand why he would find that fun, but Boimler sees it as Commander Ransom acknowledging his Titan experience with more important missions. That is, until he suddenly gets a message on his PADD that he is being reassigned to Mariner's far more boring mission to transport AGIMUS to prison.
Cerritos arrives at her rendezvous with the Monaveen. Billups reminds his engineers to stay wary of his mother and her machinations. Rutherford, being new to the team, has no idea what he's talking about. Billups explains that he is heir apparent to the Kingdom of Hysperia, a planet colonized by "Ren Faire type" humans who wanted to build their own Renaissance-style monarchical society, but that he voluntarily abdicated his claim when he enlisted in Starfleet. That is why his mother, the Queen, is constantly scheming to trick Billups into having sex.
Billups: By Hysperian law, if I lose my virginity, then I automatically become King. I'd have to resign from Starfleet and take the throne.
The Queen enters Engineering, escorted by Captain Freeman and two royal guards. Billups warns her without preamble that he has no intention of falling for any of her tricks, but she assures him that she has given up on that sort of thing. Her ship, Hysperia's only line of defense against a hostile galaxy, has a genuine mechanical problem that she desperately needs him to fix. Now that's something Billups will do for her.
Meanwhile, Boimler and Mariner are on a shuttle, their prisoner safely tucked away in a storage crate. Boimler is still depressed at being bumped down to a milk run. Mariner tries to cheer him up, but their conversation is interrupted by a jolt to the ship. They've hit a gravimetric shear, which sends them flying into the gravity well of a nearby planet before they can react. They brace as the shuttle plows into a sand dune!
When they recover from the impact, unharmed except for a broken arm for Mariner, they find themselves on an arid planet strewn with the wrecks of countless crashed ships, of which their shuttle is now yet another. Although the replicator is technically still functional, they find that it is incapable of producing anything except black licorice. Then they hear the cries of AGIMUS, whose crate was damaged by the impact...
Billups and Rutherford take a docking tube over to the Hysperian flagship. Despite being warned by his boss, Rutherford is still unprepared for the sheer garishness of the place, with corridors adorned top to bottom with baroque decorations, including a gargantuan oil portrait of Billups himself. The Chief Engineer runs an uncomfortable gauntlet of bards and other hangers-on looking to shower him with adoration before arriving in the engine room. The two of them get to work — Billups briefly chastising himself for accidentally using the Hysperians' Personal Dictionary of magical-sounding words for the usual technobabble — and are met with seemingly contradictory results from their initial inspection. As much as Billups would rather be somewhere else, he refuses to back down from an engineering challenge.
Meanwhile, on the desert planet, AGIMUS continues to take every opportunity to cajole Mariner and Boimler into connecting him to their shuttle's computer with promises of food, water, and other creature comforts. They studiously ignore him. Then they discover that their planet has life on it: a dangerous boar-like animal charges at them, its thick hide shrugging off their phaser fire. They rush inside the safety of the shuttle, but the creature goes to town on their unprotected rations outside. In the commotion, AGIMUS is briefly able to connect to Mariner's PADD with a prehensile cable before Mariner notices and puts him back in his place. The next day, they still have no solution to their broken replicator. They're not foolish enough to trust AGIMUS to fix it, despite his cooing reassurances, but Boimler points out that they have to do something. Knowing they can't just leave the evil murder computer alone with the shuttle, Mariner suggests burying him in the sand, but Boimler insists that they have a responsibility to treat him with the same basic dignity as any other intelligent being.
The pair come across a tree with edible fruit, AGIMUS in tow. Despite her broken arm, Mariner still casts shade on Boimler's ability to climb it. But Boimler took up rock climbing on the Titan and says he can handle it no problem, which further irritates Mariner. She hates how much he talks about the Titan. Boimler assumes she's just angry that he's starting to outgrow Mariner as a mentor. Though he fails to reach the fruit, Boimler does figure out a way to get them down by thumping the base of the tree. They greedily grab their prize and slurp down the alien juice... and discover that it tastes like black licorice, too. But they force it down in the name of survival. AGIMUS chides them for not taking him up on his offer to repair the replicator. This time, even Boimler agrees he deserves to be buried.
While they're sleeping that night under the tree, AGIMUS cries for help as he is uprooted from his pit and carried off by a parade of sand crabs. Boimler catches up and shoos them away. Now that they're alone together, AGIMUS decides to tell Boimler something he learned from Mariner's PADD: the reason Ransom reassigned him off of the centipede mission is because Mariner convinced him that Boimler wasn't ready for it. To prove he isn't lying, he plays a video recording of their conversation. Enraged, Boimler wakes Mariner up and confronts her. She warns him AGIMUS is trying to pit them against each other... but neither does she deny the accusation, saying she did it for his own good. Mariner decides Boimler needs a time-out and walks off with the computer.
After some digging through the guts of the Monaveen, Billups finally finds the source of the problem: a faulty resonator. He's puzzled that their original investigation missed something so obvious, but his mother is completely satisfied and thanks him effusively for his work, going so far as to validate his vocation in a way she never has before. He leaves Rutherford to tie up loose ends and returns to the Cerritos in answer to a summons from the Captain. Freeman doesn't actually need to talk to Billups, she just wanted to give him an escape route out of his mother's clutches, but Billups says that for once, he is happy with where things left off between them.
But then, a blinding flash draws their attention to the window of the Ready Room. They watch in stunned horror as an explosion tears a hole through the Monaveen, littering the space around it with twisted debris. Billups rushes back to find out what happened, but the crew has no better idea than him. One of them approaches to announce that Queen Paolana was among the casualties. In the Cerritos sickbay, Tendi learns from T'Ana that Rutherford has also been reported dead.
Boimler and Mariner come across another rusted ship chassis, but its airlock refuses to open for them. AGIMUS tells them the ship's engines are intact and that he can get them access, but Mariner ignores him, as usual, and heads towards another ship. Boimler disagrees, saying they should just let the computer help them get off this wretched planet. Mariner dismisses his suggestion, but Boimler refuses to back down. Tensions rise as Mariner takes his naivety as a validation of her decision to get him reassigned. This really pisses Boimler off. To Mariner's surprise, he tackles her! AGIMUS watches with delight as they scuffle and argue, Boimler unleashing his resentment on Mariner for her constant condescension and disrespect towards him. He eventually draws his phaser on her, threatening to stun her if she doesn't give up AGIMUS. Mariner scoffs at the idea that Boimler would shoot her... but without a moment's hesitation, he does. Mariner collapses on the sand, unconscious. Weary but determined, Boimler picks up the machine, and with his help they enter the derelict ship.
Back on the Cerritos, Freeman is looking over the casualty report. Billups enters, flanked by the late Queen's guards. He lays down his combadge and tells his Captain, voice heavy with guilt, that he has no choice but to resign from Starfleet. He blames himself for the accident that has left his people leaderless, and whether he likes it or not, he now has an obligation to them. He has decided to proceed with the Royal Copulation and take his place as King of Hysperia. Freeman voices her concern, but Billups' decision is final. With a bow befitting his new station, the Captain bids him farewell, and the guards lead him to his quarters to... officiate the transition of power.
Tendi is also mourning the death of her best friend. She asks the computer for his location, and to her surprise it reports that Rutherford's implant is still transmitting. That implant contains a part of him. If it's still intact, Tendi has no choice but to retrieve it!
Boimler reaches the bridge of the broken ship. AGIMUS assures him it is still spaceworthy, despite all appearances to the contrary. Boimler sets him down and moves to connect him to the navigational system, but discovers that it is blocked by a panel that won't open without power. AGIMUS eagerly volunteers his own battery, sliding a secure compartment open so that Boimler can make the connection. With a snap, the control panels come to life. The maniacal computer cheers with ecstasy at finally achieving his goal, his cables gesticulating wildly...
Tendi makes her way towards the implant signal which, strangely, is coming from an undamaged section of the Monaveen. She opens the door into a banquet hall to find the crew eating and laughing like nothing is wrong. Rutherford is also there, alive and well! He is also quite confused as Tendi throws her arms around him in relief. He had no idea anyone thought he was dead, nor that there was an accident. He says the Queen transported him to this feast in honor of their work.
Queen Paolana, sitting across from him, stands and raises her wine glass. She gives a toast to finally succeeding in tricking her son into losing his virginity by staging her own death. Rutherford knows he has to stop Billups, but he can't reach the Cerritos. A nearby minstrel's lute is emitting a damping field that is blocking his communicator! Rutherford dashes off back towards his ship, the Queen cackling behind him.
Rutherford is in luck. In his grief and anxiety, Billups has been slow to warm up. Rutherford barges into his quarters, worried he might not have been fast enough, but he finds the half-naked guards lounging listlessly on the bed while Billups, in the bathroom, unsuccessfully attempts to rise to the occasion. The Chief Engineer is surprised to see his junior engineer alive and even more relieved to hear that he has once again evaded his mother's sinister hijinks.
By now, Mariner has recovered from her stun. She enters the bridge to see AGIMUS reveling in his victory, announcing to his audience that with the ship under his control, he will soon unleash a new army of murder drones to conquer the star system! All thanks to Boimler's foolish trust!
Except not. Boimler smirks at AGIMUS and smugly tells him he's been Out-Gambitted. He's not hooked up to the nav console. He's not hooked up to anything except a light switch. Boimler just needed access to the evil computer's battery to power a distress signal to Starfleet. He apologizes to Mariner for staging the fight between them, but Mariner is too impressed to care. She gives him a fist bump as AGIMUS flails in impotent rage, flickering the light harmlessly at them.
Billups has returned to his true domain, Main Engineering. He scolds his unrepentant mother for her failed scam and reminds her once again that he is committed to Starfleet. The Queen only tells him that she hasn't given up before turning back towards the Monaveen, the engineering crew cheering for Billups' victory.
Boimler and Mariner are rescued by a Starfleet shuttle. AGIMUS returns to his manipulations, claiming that their adventure has taught him the error of his ways. He suggests that he could start his new path by joining Starfleet. Cut to AGIMUS being locked away in the Daystrom Institute's Self-Aware Megalomaniacal Computer Storage annex, screaming his revenge alongside a multitude of bickering evil computers just like him.
Tropes:
- Abdicate the Throne: Billups reveals that he did this in his Back Story. The bulk of his subplot concerns his mother trying to undo that decision.
- A.I. Is a Crapshoot: Agimus is yet another evil computer that manipulated a species into war. Starfleet has so many at this point that they file them in the Daystrom Institute like books.
- Ambiguously Bi: When Billups is undressing to lose his virginity, there is both a male and female guard undressed on his bed, watching him appreciatively. It's not clear if this is his choice specifically or the queen is covering her bases by giving him both options and he is just too resigned to refuse either. That said, he's unable to be aroused by either of them, so a strong argument could be made that he's Ace.
- Batman Gambit: Boimler pulls one to get himself and Mariner rescued. Successfully, one might add, to Mariner's delight.
- Biting-the-Hand Humor: At the very end, one of the computers that boot up to mock Agimus bears the CBS eye logo. CBS produces the show, and continues to do so now that CBS has merged with Viacom and CBS All Access has resultingly been renamed Paramount+.
- Blatant Lies: A few of these throughout the episode:
- The aliens subject to Agimus's ploy deny attributing their war to the supernatural, while standing in front of a mural dedicated to him.
- Tendi does not look comfortable at all at Rutherford potentially dying again.
- Bodyguard Crush: Exaggerated. Queen Paolana makes a triumphant proclamation about how Billups' bodyguards were trained in the seductive arts "from birth to skip foreplay". (She makes no commentary on whether they can actually guard him.)
- Brown Note: The Queen's bard plays a tune on his lute that causes Rutherford's communicator to short-circuit.
- Call a Rabbit a "Smeerp": Hysperian terms for all their technology sound like fantasy genre terminology, but it's the same kind of stuff as any spacefaring race uses.Rutherford: Uh, the, uh... elf matrix seems like it's—
Billups: Don't do that.
Rutherford: Sorry. The subspace field matrix should be online. - Call-Back: Boimler mentions the time that Data's head was found in a cave.
- Can't Have Sex, Ever: Billups can't have sex, because the succession laws on his planet mean that he would immediately become king, forcing him to resign from Starfleet.
- Chick Magnet: Billups gets a lot of unwanted attention from the Hysperians, from both genders. This might be more because of the Queen's machinations or Billups's title than any actual attractiveness of the man.
- Continuity Nod:
- A subtle one, but when Agimus taunts Ransom that he should be the captain, Ransom just closes the lid. In the season opener, Freeman fed Ransom's ego so much that he said the same thing of himself.
- In Agimus’ vision of conquest, he is commanding the Echo Papa 607 drones from “The Arsenal of Freedom".
- The shot of the Daystrom Institute is practically the same as when we first see it in Star Trek: Picard.
- A Day in the Limelight: Billups, the Cerritos's resident Mr. Fixit and chief engineer, finally gets one of these after being the most Out of Focus member of the vessel's senior staff.
- The Dog Bites Back: Subverted. After discovering that Mariner was the one who got him reassigned to a different mission because she thinks that he's not ready for it, Boimler gets fed up with Mariner and tackles her to get to Agimus when she keeps underestimating him. During the struggle, when Boimler pulls out his phaser on her, Mariner thinks that he doesn't have the guts to shoot her, but she's immediately proven wrong when he stuns her. It turns out that it was all a trick from Boimler to gain Agimus's trust to use him.
- Evil Gloating: When Agimus thinks that he's won, he mocks Boimler and goes on a rant about becoming a Galactic Conqueror with an endless legion of killer drones.
- Evil Is Hammy: Jeffrey Combs as an evil A.I.? Yes, please.
- Evil Is Petty: After being tricked and stripped of any capacity to harm Boimler and Mariner, he starts flashing the lights in a vain attempt to blind them.
- Expy: Billup's mother is similar to Lwaxana Troi, famous ambassador for Betazed and mother to Deanna Troi. Dialogue implies that this isn't the first time that the Cerritos has encountered her, nor her plans to make Billups have sex so he will have to take the throne (such as Captain Freeman's Mock Surprise Reaction at Queen Paloana conveniently "having engine trouble" nearby and specially requesting Billups to make the repairs). Lwaxana had similar machinations about getting her daughter married, although they rarely conflicted with Starfleet duties.
- Faking the Dead: The Queen fakes her death to make Billups think that he has to ascend to the throne. Tendi exposes the ruse and Rutherford barely manages to keep him from consummating the deal.
- The Fettered: Boimler insists that they can't just bury Agimus in the desert because it would be against Starfleet principles to treat a sentient being that way, even if it's an evil supercomputer (much to Mariner's frustration). He does give in and buries him after one too many provocations, but only to keep him quiet while they sleep. He gets dug up by crabs in the middle of the night.
- Fire-Forged Friends: This is the first time that Boimler and Mariner take on a situation as equals, a marked change from prior episodes which were more like an Escort Mission on Mariner's part.
- Freeze-Frame Bonus:
- Along with Rutherford and Paolana, a third casualty of the explosive is listed as "L. Playa", although the portrait is obscured.
- The evil computers include not only one with the CBS logo, but one that looks like Batman's cowl.
- Foreshadowing:
- Even as Billups and Rutherford work on the "dragonsbreath" engine, the former finds it all a bit too easy. Then a random explosion happens on the ship.
- The same two royal guards follow Queen Paolana everywhere. So how is it that they show up at Billups' side immediately after the Monaveen explosion without so much as a scratch?
- Freudian Slip: "Billups loves his virginity, I mean, being an engineer."
- Given Name Reveal: We learn that Lt. Com. Billups's first name Andy is short for Andarithio, similar to most of the male cast.
- Hard Truth Aesop: It's okay to try to encourage someone to get out of their comfort zone, but forcing them into doing something they're genuinely uncomfortable with is crossing the line. As Rutherford points out, Tendi encouraging him to have fun on an away mission and Billup's mother's efforts to trick him into having sex are not the same.
- Honor Before Reason: It can be inferred that Billups, despite his aversion to becoming King of Hysperia, still holds at least some respect for its customs. It is unlikely that Hysperia would have the means — either by law or force — to compel a serving Starfleet officer to accept a hereditary title against their will. That Billups chooses to play by his home planet's rules in spite of this, especially since it functions more or less on the honor system, says something about him.
- Imagine Spot: As Agimus goes into Evil Gloating mode, he envisions an endless army of Attack Drones at his command as he perches triumphant atop a mountain of Nothing but Skulls.
- Innocently Insensitive: After Rutherford agrees to work on the Monaveen despite his apprehension, Tendi lists off several things that he needs to keep in mind. This just makes Rutherford more nervous.
- Irony: Mariner had Ransom reassign Boimler from a dangerous mission to her safe mission in order to protect him. But of course, things don't go according to plan and their shuttle gets stranded on a desert planet.
- Let's You and Him Fight: Agimus constantly tries to manipulate people to fight each other. In particular, he tricks Boimler into fighting and eventually firing on Mariner. This turns out to be Boimler playing along, although it seems like a lot of the truth buried in there.
- Lie Back and Think of England: A male example. Billups is clearly only going through with the Royal Copulation out of a sense of duty, not because he has any desire to. In fact, the only reason Rutherford had enough time to stop him is because Billups was having so much trouble getting a stable warp field going.
- Literary Allusion Title: To William Shakespeare's poem Venus and Adonis. "Where pleasant fountains lie" is Venus attempting to seduce Adonis by implying that there's more than one place that he can kiss her. (You couldn't use the word "cunnilingus" back then.)
- The Loins Sleep Tonight: Rutherford is able to make it to Billups in time because Billups has a hard time rising for the occasion, having never had sex before and quite likely not being interested in doing so at all.
- Manipulative Bastard: Agimus tried to make Boimler turn on Mariner by showing him footage of her getting him reassigned from a mission that he wanted to be on. He continues preying on Boimler’s anger towards Mariner to get plugged into a computer to resume his evil plans.
- Major Injury Underreaction: Mariner can't understand why Boimler is making such a fuss about her injured arm— it's only fractured! (Mind you, she pops her arm back in like a dislocated shoulder rather than a fractured arm.)
- Meaningful Background Event: The moment that Agimus plugs himself into the ship, it powers up and a screen behind him shows it releasing a signal. It turns out that it's a distress signal and Boimler tricked Agimus into helping him.
- My Beloved Smother: The episode's Central Theme.
- Billups’s mother is always trying to get him to lose his virginity so that he will have to become king and resign from Starfleet. For this occasion, she fakes her own death to try making him ascend the throne.
- Mariner refuses to acknowledge how much Boimler has grown, still seeing him as an untried cadet who can't handle himself. Unlike Queen Paolana, she learns from her mistakes.
- Tendi fears that she did this to Rutherford, forcing him out of his comfort zone. Instead, he enjoyed the experience and thanked her for giving him the push.
- Negative Space Wedgie: A "gravimetric shear" in deep space disables Boimler and Mariner's shuttle and sends it crashing into a barren planet.
- Nerds Are Virgins: The implicit joke behind Billups' whole plotline. Hysperia is a planet settled by people so obsessed with Ren Faires that they modeled their new culture after it. Thus the first heir to the throne that loses their virginity will be crowned king of the nerds.
- Nice Job Fixing It, Villain: Queen Paolana boasts that her guards are trained from birth to skip foreplay. This works out for Rutherford, as it allows him to reach Billups while Billups is having trouble performing, a situation that the guards could have rectified if not for their training.
- Noodle Incident:
- Captain Freeman complains about the alien street food, saying that it's "always such a gamble."
- Also, Queen Paolana's previous attempts to get her son to have sex; Captain Freeman and the other engineers are very familiar with her and rightly suspicious, but we never get any details on what happened before (or how many times she's attempted these ploys).
- Not Distracted by the Sexy: Several Hysperians try to seduce Billups throughout the episode. He is completely unphased or else slightly annoyed, even while Rutherford is visibly uncomfortable next to him.
- Obnoxious In-Laws: Billups's mother, the Queen of Hysperia, is constantly scheming to trick Billups into having sex to force him to ascend to the throne.
- Planet of Hats: Invoked by Hysperians, who are described by Rutherford as "Ren Faire" types who colonized a planet with a population of dragons. Naturally, they emulate a theme park version of medieval culture, complete with a monarchy and eating mutton while referring to all their futuristic technology with fantasy terms.
- Seen It All:
- Evil A.I. is so pedestrian for Starfleet that they just box them up and warehouse them as part of standard protocol.
- Rutherford takes having his death faked without his knowledge in stride; it's Starfleet, these things happen.
- Sex Is Evil: Zigzagged. Billups is opposed to losing his virginity, not because sex is bad in and of itself, but because it would force him to abandon the career that he loves.
- Shaped Like Itself: When Tendi encourages Rutherford to leave his comfort zone, he responds that "it's so comfortable".
- Ship Tease: While Tendi and Rutherford have always been friends, there are (once again) hints that her feelings for him are somewhat stronger than that.
- Shout-Out:
- When Rutherford tries to imitate the Hysperia naming convention, Billups responds, "Don't do that."
- When AGIMUS is placed in the containment unit, he starts ranting as the camera pulls back, showing other contained artificial life. This is plays out like the ending of the movie The Snake Pit.
- Spanner in the Works: Queen Paolana's plan to trick Billups into having sex would have succeeded if it wasn't for Tendi tracking down Rutherford's cybernetic implant to locate his body, only for her to discover the Queen's ruse. She also didn't anticipate Billups having trouble rising to the occasion, ha-ha, which gives Rutherford enough time to stop him.
- Starship Luxurious: The Hysperion flagship Monaveen looks like a palace on the inside, and is appropriately gaudy on the outside.
- Stock "Yuck!": The replicator breaks so that the only thing that it replicates is black licorice. Similarly, the fruit that they find tastes like black licorice, but it's the only nourishment that they can find on the planet.
- Three-Way Sex: Billups almost has sex with a male and a female guard.
- Took a Level in Badass: Precisely how many levels Boimler has taken is certainly up for debate — but he gets a chance to show off however many he already has. Instead of the guy being scammed, he's the one doing the scamming, and he's a far cry from the panicky ensign that we saw as recently as two episodes ago.
- Underestimating Badassery: Mariner doesn't believe that Boimler's three months on the Titan prove that he's ready to handle dangerous missions, and asked Ransom to reassign him to a safer mission. After Agimus reveals what Mariner did, he gets into a physical fight with her, which completely catches her off-guard. When Boimler aims his phaser at her, she thinks that he doesn't have to guts to shoot her, but he does and she gets stunned. She's later impressed when Boimler reveals that it was all a trick to gain Agimus' trust and have him power a ship to send a distress signal without his knowledge.
- Unspoken Plan Guarantee: It looks as if Boimler was tricked by Agimus, but he was actually manipulating the computer into letting him use his power source while covertly wiring him into the ship's dimmer switch instead of navigation.
- Villain Reveals the Secret: After Agimus connects to Mariner's data pad to get information on her, he reveals to Boimler that Mariner is the one who had him reassigned from a dangerous mission to her mission. Mariner denies it, claiming that Agimus is trying to turn them against each other (which he is), but she eventually admits it and they do get into a fight.
- Virgin-Shaming: Subverted. Billups doesn't get laid, and no aspersions are cast on him for refusing carnal knowledge by either the characters or show (outside of not taking the throne).
- You Wouldn't Shoot Me: While they are fighting, Boimler points his phaser at Mariner. The maverick scoffs at the possibility of Boimler firing it at her only for him to do so and knock her out.
