Recap / South Park S 6 E 13 The Return Of The Fellowship Of The Ring To The Two Towers

Original air date: 11/13/2002

The kids get what they think is a cursed copy of The Lord of the Rings (actually an infamous hardcore porno) and try to return it to the Two Towers video store several towns over, with everyone else chasing them, out to get it.

---

"The Return Of The Fellowship Of The Ring To The Two Towers" contains examples of:

• All Men Are Perverts:
  • The boys' fathers all seem to know what kind of porno Back Door Sluts 9 is.
  • The sixth graders rally to take it from the kids.
• Artifact of Doom: The porno VHS is treated as one by the kids, who form a fellowship and go on a journey across South Park to return it to the rental store from whence it came. Considering it drove Butters insane and made him act like Gollum, and caused Tolkien to shut down, it's not too far off the mark.
• Big "SHUT UP!": "KENNY, SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH!"
• Blatant Lies: When Sheila demands to know how Gerald knows about Back Door Sluts 9, he claims he read about it in People. She doesn't seem to buy it for one second.
• The Cameo: Scott Tenorman (and his two friends from his episode) appear among the sixth graders, even though he (and, presumably, they) were previously mentioned as being ninth graders. Scott would later be established as having been committed to a mental institution immediately after the events of said episode.
• Cannot Cross Running Water: For various reasons, the sixth graders don't want to cross the river.
• Cryptic Background Reference: Back Door Sluts 9 is a porno so insane that it makes Crotch Capers 3 look like Naughty Nurses 2!
• The Cuckoolander Was Right: Cartman is called stupid when he orders the others to cross a river to escape sixth graders, claiming that they can't stand water. Turns out he was right: they don't want to cross it because it would blight their bikes.
• Determinator: The video store is two towns away but the kids walk there in the middle of a night, over a mountain pass while it was snowing, and across a river, with their parents, Butters, and the sixth graders in pursuit.
• Dirty Kid: The sixth graders, who pursue the boys en masse purely because they want to watch the porno.
• Distinction Without a Difference: The boys are wandering the woods after crossing the river. Cartman insists they're not lost, only that they just don't know where they are.
  Kenny: [in Cartman's body] That's what "lost" means, stupid!
• Even Nerds Have Standards: Despite LARPing The Lord of the Rings, Cartman calls younger kids playing Harry Potter "fags", and despises Craig and the kindergartener when they quit to join them.
• Everyone Has Standards: All the fathers might be porn-watching perverts, as are some of the mothers, but all of them agree that Back Door Sluts 9 is utterly vile and disgusting. Tolkien bailing on the quest after viewing a snippet counts as well.
• Exactly What It Says on the Tin: The plot consists of the boys returning a copy of The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers video store.
• Expy: After Butters has the porno taken from him, he basically becomes Gollum, even using his "preciousss..." Verbal Tic and somewhat sharing his fate.
• Failed a Spot Check: When the boys arrive to take the movie from Butters, they just wordlessly eject the VHS from his player without noticing that the film playing on his TV is most definitely not The Fellowship of the Ring.
• Filth: Back Door Sluts 9, said to be the dirtiest porno ever made. Randy's co-workers who recommend it to him seem to be the only ones who actually like it.
• Go Mad from the Revelation: Played for Laughs. Back Door Sluts 9 is a porno so intense and kinky that it drives Butters insane and sends Tolkien into a Heroic BSoD.
• Harmful to Minors: We only see a very brief glimpse of the porno, but Tolkien's description of what he saw and the parents' later talk about various sex acts really explain why Butters lost it.
• Heroic BSoD:
  • Tolkien at first won't even talk about what he saw.
  • The boys look traumatized after their parents detail the various sex acts in the porno they didn't watch.
• Instantly Proven Wrong: As the parents debate the situation, Randy expresses hope that the kids seeing the porno won't do that much damage to them. Cue Butters slamming against the window and pleading to see his "preciousss".
• LARP:
  • Butters is the only boy in class who doesn't dress up Lord of the Rings style. Hilariously, Kevin came to the meeting wearing a Stormtrooper helmet.
    Cartman: Kevin... goddammit.
  • The kids in Bailey role-play Harry Potter.
• Little "No": The lead sixth grader after the video is put in the drop box.
• ...Or So I Heard: After Gerald demonstrates knowledge of Back Door Sluts 9, Sheila demands to know how he found that out. He claims he read about it in People.
• Pluralses: In keeping with his Gollum-like behavior, Butters develops this kind of speech pattern, adding s-sounds to his plurals and words that sound like plurals.
  Butters: We hasses our preciouses! Hasses it! Hasses it.
• Right for the Wrong Reasons: Cartman's insistence that sixth-graders can't cross running water makes it sound like it's some sort of supernatural repulsion, when in reality the sixth-graders just don't want to get wet or risk getting their bike chains rusty.
• Running Gag: Whenever Back Door Sluts 9 is named by the adults, it's immediately stated that it makes another random porno title look tame.
• Screw This, I'm Outta Here:
  • Tolkien saw some of the porno and quits. He wasn't even wearing his costume when he came out.
    Clyde: What vice did you see on the videotape, Talangar? Is it the work of Sauron's magic?
    Tolkien: ...I'm not playing anymore. [walks off]
    Stan: Uh, well...wait, what'd you see?
    Tolkien: I don't know. I don't wanna know. I'm out.
  • Craig and the kindergartener dwarf would rather play Harry Potter with the Bailey kids than wade across a river.
  • The sixth graders leave when the kids' parents arrive.
• Shout-Out: One of the posters in the video store window is Guys in Dark Suits with Sunglasses, despite Men In Black 2 being shown on a movie theater marquee a couple episodes earlier.
• Shown Their Work: The episode aired before The Two Towers was released to theaters, so elements and plot details had to be lifted wholesale from the books to fully parody the trilogy. Things like Gollum's depiction via the insane Butters is pretty accurate, and even the way the tape is disposed of is very similar to how the Ring was destroyed in the books.
• Take That!: A mild example is given to the Harry Potter series, with Cartman mocking some kids in the next town over who are roleplaying as characters from that franchise. At this time of this episode's release, only two films in that franchise (Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets) had been released, to generally positive critical and audience reactions.
• The Talk:
  • Randy tries to explain the porno to Tolkien in traditional "when a man and woman love each other" style, but it does not help at all.
    Tolkien: And when the woman has four penises in her at the same time, then stands over the men and pees on them, is that part of being in love too? (Beat) Five midgets... spanking a man... covered in Thousand Island dressing. Is that making love?
  • When the parents catch up to their kids, they give them an especially kinky talk. But since the kids did not see the film, they're left utterly shocked.
    Stan: (after a long Beat) ...Wow.
• Unfortunate Item Swap: Randy mixing up the tapes and offering Butters the wrong one is what started the plot.
• We Will Meet Again: While fleeing with the others, the lead sixth grader promises this to the boys.
• Weaksauce Weakness: "Sixth graders can't stand water." Cartman was right as water would rust their bicycle chains.
• Whole-Plot Reference: To The Lord of the Rings.
• You Shall Not Pass!: Subverted and parodied. Jimmy is easily run over by the sixth graders before he, stuttering as he does, can finish saying it.