Gus Van Sant's "shot-for-shot" remake is the addition of a masturbation scene. That's appropriate, since this new Psycho evokes memories in an attempt to re-create remembered passion.
"Ah yes, it's a lot like Star Trek: The Next Generation. In many ways it's superior, but will never be as recognized as the original."
— Wayne Campbell, Wayne's World
And now, an inside look at how Hollywood works:
"Say Chet, who should we get for the Gary Cooper role in our remake of Mr. Deeds Goes to Town?"
"Well, Brad, how about that guy who played Canteen Boy?"
Mr. Burns: Smithers, what made a lot of money in Hollywood recently?
Smithers: Um, adaptations of ancient-but-recognizable pop culture properties and movies where Johnny Depp wears a stupid hat, sir!
Mr. Burns: Eeeeexcellent. Well, I own The Lone Ranger, so let's have Johnny put on a stupid hat and play Tonto.
Smithers: Ah, what else should we put in the movie, sir?
Mr. Burns: Oh, you know the drill, Smithers. Make it an origin story so we can call it a "reimagining", toss in some unnecessarily convoluted claptrap mystery so it looks smarter than it is, take a lot of snarky pot-shots at the original so the audience can feel hip, and make everything so oppressively crowded and grim that nobody can tell if they're numb or just bored.
"Yes, all the charm of a simple little cartoon will melt before your eyes as it is replaced by newer and more standardized animation!"
— Announcer, South Park, "Free Hat"
"I would like to see a remake of Beaches with Bette Midler. Only this time, Barbara Hershey should be played by Anne Hathaway. But Anne Hathaway will have much more cancer. And it'll be CGI cancer. And then when they're on the beach and the sun is setting, and she's about to die, she explodes. And Bette Milder won't do the theme song, no. No "Wing Beneath My Wings" crap for this movie. The theme song will be done by Ke$ha... and it'll be called "Sorry U Can't Go Out To Da Club Because U Got Cancer."
— Mike Stoklasa, Half in the Bag
"There are probably as many reasons to remake a movie as there are filmmakers producing remakes, but it seems to me that there are four motives that have steadily recurred throughout the years. (Recently, we have seen a fifthó because the folks with the cameras have nothing better to doó come into vogue. With any luck, this fashion wonít last any longer than parachute pants did.) Three of these motivations are unquestionably valid, and have often led to the creation of exceptionally good films; the fourth... well, weíll get to that in a bit. Sometimes a movie gets remade because the original was an adaptation of a novel or short story to which it simply did not do justice, and some director or other wants to try their hand at a more faithful treatment. The classic example of this strain would have to be John Carpenterís The Thing. Then youíve got your remakes that stem from somebody coming up with an inspired new story to tell using the setup from an earlier movie; David Cronenbergís version of The Fly springs immediately to mind as a case in point. Then there are movies like the Hammer Film Productions take on The Mummy, which looks like a case of subsequent filmmakers going back to make up for their predecessorsí mishandling of a good idea. Again, in each of those three categories, Iíve seen more good remakes than bad. Unfortunately, itís the fourth major current of remakes that commands the most attention, and with good reasonó itís broader than any of the other three, and the stench kicked up by most of the movies within it is just too strong to ignore. Iím talking about remakes that owe their existence to little or nothing more than the advance of special effects technology, and thereís no shortage of noteworthy examples. The Dino De Laurentiis-John Guillermin King Kong. The Dean Devlin-Roland Emmerich Godzilla. Jan De Bontís The Haunting. As bad as the bulk of such movies are, though, there a couple of remakes even here that have some merit to them, and Chuck Russellís 1988 version of The Blob is right up near the head of that very small class."
— Scott "El Santo" Ashlin, 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting