History Quotes / TheRemake

22nd Dec '15 3:14:23 PM hamonrye
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->Gus Van Sant's "shot-for-shot" remake is the addition of a masturbation scene. That's appropriate, since this new ''Psycho'' [[JustLikeMakingLove evokes memories in an attempt to re-create remembered passion.]]
to:
->Gus ->The most dramatic difference between Alfred Hitchcock's ''Psycho'' and Gus Van Sant's "shot-for-shot" remake is the addition of a masturbation scene. That's appropriate, since this new ''Psycho'' [[JustLikeMakingLove evokes memories in an attempt to re-create remembered passion.]]
22nd Dec '15 3:13:09 PM hamonrye
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->Gus Van Sant's "shot-for-shot" remake is the addition of a masturbation scene. That's appropriate, since this new [[JustLikeMakingLove evokes memories in an attempt to re-create remembered passion.]]
to:
->Gus Van Sant's "shot-for-shot" remake is the addition of a masturbation scene. That's appropriate, since this new ''Psycho'' [[JustLikeMakingLove evokes memories in an attempt to re-create remembered passion.]]
16th Nov '15 7:53:38 PM hamonrye
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->Maybe calling it "disdain" is a little too harsh because that would [[InsultToRocks imply a distinct emotion or feel]] for the material; instead, there's only a sense of bewilderment, as if everyone involved quickly signed off on the idea of remaking ''Robocop'' before they realized ''oh, shit--how do we actually do that? Gulp.'' -->--'''[[http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=23987&reviewer=429 Brett Gallman]]''' on ''Film/Robocop2014''
23rd May '15 8:48:06 AM johnnyfog
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->Sometimes a movie gets remade because the original was an adaptation of a novel or short story to [[TheyWastedAPerfectlyGoodPlot which it simply did not do justice]], and some director or other wants to try their hand at a more faithful treatment. The classic example of this strain would have to be John Carpenter's ''Film/{{The Thing|1982}}''. Then youíve got your remakes that stem from somebody coming up with an inspired new story to tell using the setup from an earlier movie; David Cronenberg's version of ''Film/{{The Fly|1986}}'' springs immediately to mind as a case in point. Then there are movies like the Hammer Film Productions take on ''Film/TheMummy1959'', which looks like a case of subsequent filmmakers going back to make up for their predecessorsí mishandling of a good idea. Again, in each of those three categories, Iíve seen more good remakes than bad. Unfortunately, [[FourIsDeath itís the fourth major current of remakes that commands the most attention]], and with good reason--itís broader than any of the other three, and the stench kicked up by most of the movies within it is just too strong to ignore. Iím talking about remakes that owe their existence to little or nothing more than the advance of special effects technology, and thereís no shortage of noteworthy examples. -->-- '''Scott "El Santo" Ashlin''', [[http://www.1000misspenthours.com/reviews/reviewsa-d/blob1988.htm 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting]]
10th May '15 6:24:50 PM johnnyfog
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->In life, there are few things one can predict with accuracy, even after years of training. Just ask a financial analyst who works for 80 hours a week studying the intricacies of stock price movement only to finally manage a fund that consistently underperforms the market. Just ask a couple divorcing after 30 years of marriage. Just ask a NCAA tournament Cinderella team that makes it to the Final Four against all odds. But there is one thing, in this world of uncertainty, that can be predicted with a high degree of accuracy: a Creator/MichaelBay-produced remake of [[Film/TheBirds an Alfred Hitchcock movie]] is going to gargle goat balls. -->--'''''Jezebel''''', [[http://jezebel.com/michael-bays-remake-of-the-birds-is-going-to-suck-ass-1543252604 "Michael Bays remake of The Birds is Going to Suck Ass"]] ->There are some pithy lines and revivals of [[ContinuityPorn favorite moments]] from the originaló'Dead or alive, youíre coming with me', and the much-loved 'I (wouldnít) buy that for a dollar!' both make appearancesóbut overall, itís never quite clear why this reboot exists in the first place. Except for dollar signs in the studioís eyes, of course, which is the singular motivation for most modern resurrections of cult classics. Silly me for hoping there was a genuine desire to build on the foundation of the original and do something interesting with it. -->--'''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''' [[http://www.agonybooth.com/movies/RoboCop_2014.aspx on]] ''[[Film/{{Robocop2014}} Robocop]]'' (2014) ->Hey, you guys remember how awesome ''Film/MenInBlack'' was? How it struck a great balance between action, comedy, and (b)romance, like a sci-fi version of ''Film/ThePrincessBride''? And you remember how, despite the fact that the movie ended in a way that perfectly wrapped up the story, you wanted them to remake the same movie, only with new people? Congratulations, all four of you are getting your wish! It turns out the [[HookersAndBlow cocaine pile]] at Sony Pictures was getting a bit small and they decided to give the ''[=MIB=]'' franchise a fresh take by redoing one-third of a series that isn't even old enough to buy cigarettes yet. -->--'''''Website/{{Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/5-movie-reboots-that-must-be-stopped/ "5 Movie Reboots That Must Be Stopped"]] ->The original movie was about some punk kids who were bullying Daniel with what lame karate they learn in a strip mall dojo. Time is short, but Miyagi is able to teach Daniel just enough to beat his competition. And the level of competition is that you would expect in a junior league karate tournament. There was a grounding in reality. But here they figure the original was not [[ViewersAreGoldfish fast enough]], [[BloodierAndGorier bloody enough]], or [[ArtisticLicenseMartialArts choreographed enough]] for modern audiences... The fights have also been turned from realistic choreography to almost a live action anime. The kids are defying physics with {{wire fu}}. They are doing [[Wrestling/ReyMysterioJr hurricanranas]] and [[DivingKick pele kicks]] and moves rejected from ''[[CrouchingTigerHiddenDragon Crouching Tiger]]'' cause they were considered too unbelievable. Cripes people! These are 12 year olds, they should not be mimicking the final fight [[TheMatrix between Neo and Agent Smith.]] -->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2010/06/15/the-karate-kid-harald-zwart-2010// on]] ''Film/TheKarateKid'' (2010)

->As more and more new broadcast shows get canceled, you may have thought the networks had pretty much scraped the bottom of the barrel trying to come up with anything that might stick with viewers. You would be wrong. Given the evidence of a drama premiering Wednesday called ''Taxi Brooklyn'', apparently the NBC barrel is bottomless...In fact, the whole enterprise is notable because it is actually worse than the first rehash of ''{{Film/Taxi}}'', the 2004 film with Jimmy Fallon and Queen Latifah. -->--[[http://www.sfgate.com/tv/article/TV-review-Contrived-Taxi-Brooklyn-going-5573837.php David Wiegand]]
20th Jan '15 8:31:47 AM johnnyfog
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->Sometimes a movie gets remade because the original was an adaptation of a novel or short story to [[TheyWastedAPerfectlyGoodPlot which it simply did not do justice]], and some director or other wants to try their hand at a more faithful treatment. The classic example of this strain would have to be John Carpenter's ''Film/{{The Thing|1982}}''. Then youíve got your remakes that stem from somebody coming up with an inspired new story to tell using the setup from an earlier movie; David Cronenberg's version of ''Film/{{The Fly|1986}}'' springs immediately to mind as a case in point. Then there are movies like the [[HammerHorror Hammer Film Productions]] take on ''Film/TheMummy1959'', which looks like a case of subsequent filmmakers going back to make up for their predecessorsí mishandling of a good idea. Again, in each of those three categories, Iíve seen more good remakes than bad. Unfortunately, [[FourMeansDeath itís the fourth major current of remakes that commands the most attention]], and with good reason--itís broader than any of the other three, and the stench kicked up by most of the movies within it is just too strong to ignore. Iím talking about remakes that owe their existence to little or nothing more than the advance of special effects technology, and thereís no shortage of noteworthy examples.
to:
->Sometimes a movie gets remade because the original was an adaptation of a novel or short story to [[TheyWastedAPerfectlyGoodPlot which it simply did not do justice]], and some director or other wants to try their hand at a more faithful treatment. The classic example of this strain would have to be John Carpenter's ''Film/{{The Thing|1982}}''. Then youíve got your remakes that stem from somebody coming up with an inspired new story to tell using the setup from an earlier movie; David Cronenberg's version of ''Film/{{The Fly|1986}}'' springs immediately to mind as a case in point. Then there are movies like the [[HammerHorror Hammer Film Productions]] Productions take on ''Film/TheMummy1959'', which looks like a case of subsequent filmmakers going back to make up for their predecessorsí mishandling of a good idea. Again, in each of those three categories, Iíve seen more good remakes than bad. Unfortunately, [[FourMeansDeath [[FourIsDeath itís the fourth major current of remakes that commands the most attention]], and with good reason--itís broader than any of the other three, and the stench kicked up by most of the movies within it is just too strong to ignore. Iím talking about remakes that owe their existence to little or nothing more than the advance of special effects technology, and thereís no shortage of noteworthy examples.
20th Jan '15 8:31:25 AM johnnyfog
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->''"Yes, all the charm of a simple little cartoon will melt before your eyes as it is replaced by newer and more standardized animation!"''
to:
->''"Yes, ->If it's a remake of a classic, rent the classic! -->-- Jay Sherman, ''WesternAnimation/TheCritic'' ->Yes, all the charm of a simple little cartoon will melt before your eyes as it is replaced by newer and more standardized animation!"''animation!

->''"Gus Van Sant's "shot-for-shot" remake is the addition of a masturbation scene. That's appropriate, since this new ''{{Film/Psycho}}'' [[JustLikeMakingLove evokes memories in an attempt to re-create remembered passion.]]"'' -->-- '''Creator/RogerEbert''' ->''"In life, there are few things one can predict with accuracy, even after years of training. Just ask a financial analyst who works for 80 hours a week studying the intricacies of stock price movement only to finally manage a fund that consistently underperforms the market. Just ask a couple divorcing after 30 years of marriage. Just ask a NCAA tournament Cinderella team that makes it to the Final Four against all odds. But there is one thing, in this world of uncertainty, that can be predicted with a high degree of accuracy: a Creator/MichaelBay-produced remake of an Creator/AlfredHitchcock movie is going to gargle goat balls."''
to:
->''"Gus ->Gus Van Sant's "shot-for-shot" remake is the addition of a masturbation scene. That's appropriate, since this new ''{{Film/Psycho}}'' [[JustLikeMakingLove evokes memories in an attempt to re-create remembered passion.]]"'' ]] -->-- '''Creator/RogerEbert''' ->''"In '''Creator/RogerEbert''' on ''{{Film/Psycho}}'' (1998) ->In life, there are few things one can predict with accuracy, even after years of training. Just ask a financial analyst who works for 80 hours a week studying the intricacies of stock price movement only to finally manage a fund that consistently underperforms the market. Just ask a couple divorcing after 30 years of marriage. Just ask a NCAA tournament Cinderella team that makes it to the Final Four against all odds. But there is one thing, in this world of uncertainty, that can be predicted with a high degree of accuracy: a Creator/MichaelBay-produced remake of [[Film/TheBirds an Creator/AlfredHitchcock movie Alfred Hitchcock movie]] is going to gargle goat balls."''

->''"There are some pithy lines and revivals of [[ContinuityPorn favorite moments]] from the originaló'Dead or alive, youíre coming with me', and the much-loved 'I (wouldnít) buy that for a dollar!' both make appearancesóbut overall, itís never quite clear why this reboot exists in the first place. Except for dollar signs in the studioís eyes, of course, which is the singular motivation for most modern resurrections of cult classics. Silly me for hoping there was a genuine desire to build on the foundation of the original and do something interesting with it."''
to:
->''"There ->There are some pithy lines and revivals of [[ContinuityPorn favorite moments]] from the originaló'Dead or alive, youíre coming with me', and the much-loved 'I (wouldnít) buy that for a dollar!' both make appearancesóbut overall, itís never quite clear why this reboot exists in the first place. Except for dollar signs in the studioís eyes, of course, which is the singular motivation for most modern resurrections of cult classics. Silly me for hoping there was a genuine desire to build on the foundation of the original and do something interesting with it."''

->''"Hey, you guys remember how awesome ''Film/MenInBlack'' was? How it struck a great balance between action, comedy, and (b)romance, like a sci-fi version of ''Film/ThePrincessBride''? And you remember how, despite the fact that the movie ended in a way that perfectly wrapped up the story, you wanted them to remake the same movie, only with new people? Congratulations, all four of you are getting your wish! It turns out the [[HookersAndBlow cocaine pile]] at Sony Pictures was getting a bit small and they decided to give the ''[=MIB=]'' franchise a fresh take by redoing one-third of a series that isn't even old enough to buy cigarettes yet."''
to:
->''"Hey, ->Hey, you guys remember how awesome ''Film/MenInBlack'' was? How it struck a great balance between action, comedy, and (b)romance, like a sci-fi version of ''Film/ThePrincessBride''? And you remember how, despite the fact that the movie ended in a way that perfectly wrapped up the story, you wanted them to remake the same movie, only with new people? Congratulations, all four of you are getting your wish! It turns out the [[HookersAndBlow cocaine pile]] at Sony Pictures was getting a bit small and they decided to give the ''[=MIB=]'' franchise a fresh take by redoing one-third of a series that isn't even old enough to buy cigarettes yet."''

->''"The original movie was about some punk kids who were bullying Daniel with what lame karate they learn in a strip mall dojo. Time is short, but Miyagi is able to teach Daniel just enough to beat his competition. And the level of competition is that you would expect in a junior league karate tournament. There was a grounding in reality. But here they figure the original was not [[ViewersAreGoldfish fast enough]], [[BloodierAndGorier bloody enough]], or [[ArtisticLicenseMartialArts choreographed enough]] for modern audiences... The fights have also been turned from realistic choreography to almost a live action anime. The kids are defying physics with {{wire fu}}. They are doing [[Wrestling/ReyMysterioJr hurricanranas]] and [[DivingKick pele kicks]] and moves rejected from ''[[CrouchingTigerHiddenDragon Crouching Tiger]]'' cause they were considered too unbelievable. Cripes people! These are 12 year olds, they should not be mimicking the final fight [[TheMatrix between Neo and Agent Smith.]]"''
to:
->''"The ->The original movie was about some punk kids who were bullying Daniel with what lame karate they learn in a strip mall dojo. Time is short, but Miyagi is able to teach Daniel just enough to beat his competition. And the level of competition is that you would expect in a junior league karate tournament. There was a grounding in reality. But here they figure the original was not [[ViewersAreGoldfish fast enough]], [[BloodierAndGorier bloody enough]], or [[ArtisticLicenseMartialArts choreographed enough]] for modern audiences... The fights have also been turned from realistic choreography to almost a live action anime. The kids are defying physics with {{wire fu}}. They are doing [[Wrestling/ReyMysterioJr hurricanranas]] and [[DivingKick pele kicks]] and moves rejected from ''[[CrouchingTigerHiddenDragon Crouching Tiger]]'' cause they were considered too unbelievable. Cripes people! These are 12 year olds, they should not be mimicking the final fight [[TheMatrix between Neo and Agent Smith.]]"'']]

->''"''{{Film/Big}}'' the TV show is happening, because Hollywoodís favorite thing to do is put on knife shoes and dance all over your childhood"'' -->--'''''[[http://dlisted.com/2014/09/30/afternoon-crumbs-120/ DLited]]''''' ->''"As more and more new broadcast shows get canceled, you may have thought the networks had pretty much scraped the bottom of the barrel trying to come up with anything that might stick with viewers. You would be wrong. Given the evidence of a drama premiering Wednesday called ''Taxi Brooklyn'', apparently the NBC barrel is bottomless...In fact, the whole enterprise is notable because it is actually worse than the first rehash of ''{{Film/Taxi}}'', the 2004 film with Jimmy Fallon and Queen Latifah."''
to:
->''"''{{Film/Big}}'' ->''{{Film/Big}}'' the TV show is happening, because Hollywoodís favorite thing to do is put on knife shoes and dance all over your childhood"'' -->--'''''[[http://dlisted.childhood -->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2014/09/30/afternoon-crumbs-120/ DLited]]''''' ->''"As Michael K.]]''' ->As more and more new broadcast shows get canceled, you may have thought the networks had pretty much scraped the bottom of the barrel trying to come up with anything that might stick with viewers. You would be wrong. Given the evidence of a drama premiering Wednesday called ''Taxi Brooklyn'', apparently the NBC barrel is bottomless...In fact, the whole enterprise is notable because it is actually worse than the first rehash of ''{{Film/Taxi}}'', the 2004 film with Jimmy Fallon and Queen Latifah."''

->''"I would like to see a remake of ''Film/{{Beaches}}'' with Bette Midler. Only this time, Barbara Hershey should be played by Creator/AnneHathaway. But Anne Hathaway will have ''[[SequelEscalation much more]]'' cancer. And it'll be CGI cancer. And then when they're on the beach and the sun is setting, and she's about to die, she '''[[DefeatEqualsExplosion explodes]]'''. And Bette Milder won't do the theme song, no. No 'Wing Beneath My Wings' crap for this movie. The theme song will be done by Music/{{Kesha}}... and it'll be called "Sorry U Can't Go Out To Da Club Because U Got Cancer."''
to:
->''"I ->I would like to see a remake of ''Film/{{Beaches}}'' with Bette Midler. Only this time, Barbara Hershey should be played by Creator/AnneHathaway. But Anne Hathaway will have ''[[SequelEscalation much more]]'' cancer. And it'll be CGI cancer. And then when they're on the beach and the sun is setting, and she's about to die, she '''[[DefeatEqualsExplosion explodes]]'''. And Bette Milder won't do the theme song, no. No 'Wing Beneath My Wings' crap for this movie. The theme song will be done by Music/{{Kesha}}... and it'll be called "Sorry U Can't Go Out To Da Club Because U Got Cancer."''

->''"There are probably as many reasons to remake a movie as there are filmmakers producing remakes, but it seems to me that there are four motives that have steadily recurred throughout the years... Sometimes a movie gets remade because the original was an adaptation of a novel or short story to which it simply did not do justice, and some director or other wants to try their hand at a more faithful treatment. The classic example of this strain would have to be Creator/JohnCarpenter's ''Film/{{The Thing|1982}}''. Then youíve got your remakes that stem from somebody coming up with an inspired new story to tell using the setup from an earlier movie; Creator/DavidCronenberg's version of ''Film/{{The Fly|1986}}'' springs immediately to mind as a case in point. Then there are movies like the [[HammerHorror Hammer Film Productions]] take on ''Film/TheMummy1959'', which looks like a case of subsequent filmmakers going back to make up for their predecessorsí mishandling of a good idea. Again, in each of those three categories, Iíve seen more good remakes than bad. Unfortunately, itís the fourth major current of remakes that commands the most attention, and with good reason--itís broader than any of the other three, and [[SoBadItsHorrible the stench kicked up by most of the movies within it is just too strong to ignore]]. Iím talking about remakes that owe their existence to little or nothing more than the advance of special effects technology, and thereís no shortage of noteworthy examples."''
to:
->''"There are probably as many reasons to remake a movie as there are filmmakers producing remakes, but it seems to me that there are four motives that have steadily recurred throughout the years... Sometimes ->Sometimes a movie gets remade because the original was an adaptation of a novel or short story to [[TheyWastedAPerfectlyGoodPlot which it simply did not do justice, justice]], and some director or other wants to try their hand at a more faithful treatment. The classic example of this strain would have to be Creator/JohnCarpenter's John Carpenter's ''Film/{{The Thing|1982}}''. Then youíve got your remakes that stem from somebody coming up with an inspired new story to tell using the setup from an earlier movie; Creator/DavidCronenberg's David Cronenberg's version of ''Film/{{The Fly|1986}}'' springs immediately to mind as a case in point. Then there are movies like the [[HammerHorror Hammer Film Productions]] take on ''Film/TheMummy1959'', which looks like a case of subsequent filmmakers going back to make up for their predecessorsí mishandling of a good idea. Again, in each of those three categories, Iíve seen more good remakes than bad. Unfortunately, [[FourMeansDeath itís the fourth major current of remakes that commands the most attention, attention]], and with good reason--itís broader than any of the other three, and [[SoBadItsHorrible the stench kicked up by most of the movies within it is just too strong to ignore]].ignore. Iím talking about remakes that owe their existence to little or nothing more than the advance of special effects technology, and thereís no shortage of noteworthy examples."''
23rd Nov '14 12:25:18 AM johnnyfog
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->''"In writing a screenplay for a movie, be sure to include plenty of action."'' ->'''''WRONG:''''' To be, or not to be. ->'''''RIGHT:''''' LOOK OUT! GIANT RADIOACTIVE SQUIRRELS! -->-- '''DaveBarry''', "Grammar: De Letter of De Law"
23rd Nov '14 12:25:06 AM johnnyfog
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Added DiffLines:
->''"In writing a screenplay for a movie, be sure to include plenty of action."'' ->'''''WRONG:''''' To be, or not to be. ->'''''RIGHT:''''' LOOK OUT! GIANT RADIOACTIVE SQUIRRELS! -->-- '''DaveBarry''', "Grammar: De Letter of De Law"
31st Oct '14 1:28:03 PM Morgenthaler
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->''"There are probably as many reasons to remake a movie as there are filmmakers producing remakes, but it seems to me that there are four motives that have steadily recurred throughout the years... Sometimes a movie gets remade because the original was an adaptation of a novel or short story to which it simply did not do justice, and some director or other wants to try their hand at a more faithful treatment. The classic example of this strain would have to be Creator/JohnCarpenterís ''[[Film/TheThing1982 The Thing]]''. Then youíve got your remakes that stem from somebody coming up with an inspired new story to tell using the setup from an earlier movie; Creator/DavidCronenbergís version of ''Film/TheFly'' springs immediately to mind as a case in point. Then there are movies like the [[HammerHorror Hammer Film Productions]] take on ''Film/TheMummy1959'', which looks like a case of subsequent filmmakers going back to make up for their predecessorsí mishandling of a good idea. Again, in each of those three categories, Iíve seen more good remakes than bad. Unfortunately, itís the fourth major current of remakes that commands the most attention, and with good reason--itís broader than any of the other three, and [[SoBadItsHorrible the stench kicked up by most of the movies within it is just too strong to ignore]]. Iím talking about remakes that owe their existence to little or nothing more than the advance of special effects technology, and thereís no shortage of noteworthy examples."''
to:
->''"There are probably as many reasons to remake a movie as there are filmmakers producing remakes, but it seems to me that there are four motives that have steadily recurred throughout the years... Sometimes a movie gets remade because the original was an adaptation of a novel or short story to which it simply did not do justice, and some director or other wants to try their hand at a more faithful treatment. The classic example of this strain would have to be Creator/JohnCarpenterís ''[[Film/TheThing1982 The Thing]]''. Creator/JohnCarpenter's ''Film/{{The Thing|1982}}''. Then youíve got your remakes that stem from somebody coming up with an inspired new story to tell using the setup from an earlier movie; Creator/DavidCronenbergís Creator/DavidCronenberg's version of ''Film/TheFly'' ''Film/{{The Fly|1986}}'' springs immediately to mind as a case in point. Then there are movies like the [[HammerHorror Hammer Film Productions]] take on ''Film/TheMummy1959'', which looks like a case of subsequent filmmakers going back to make up for their predecessorsí mishandling of a good idea. Again, in each of those three categories, Iíve seen more good remakes than bad. Unfortunately, itís the fourth major current of remakes that commands the most attention, and with good reason--itís broader than any of the other three, and [[SoBadItsHorrible the stench kicked up by most of the movies within it is just too strong to ignore]]. Iím talking about remakes that owe their existence to little or nothing more than the advance of special effects technology, and thereís no shortage of noteworthy examples."''
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