Quotes / Jerk Ass

"Me, nice?! I've never been nice in my life! I'm allergic to nice!"

Namine: So why were you saying Zex wouldn't help us?
Axel: Cause he's a jerk.
Zexion: It's true, I am a jerk.

"Why do you put so much energy into pissing people off?"
Kagura, Azumanga Daioh

"Oh you call that love? Trying to push yourself on me with that stupid haircut and that tacky suit? No you're an asshole! Not to mention a creep, you don't know a damn thing on how to treat women. You're self-human scum. Burn in Hell!"
Ange replying to Embryo, Cross Ange

"There are men in this world who go about demanding to be killed. They argue in gambling games; they jump out of their cars in a rage if someone so much as scratches their fender. These people wander through the streets calling out "Kill me, kill me." Luca Brasi was such a man. And since he wasn't scared of death, and in fact, looked for it... I made him my weapon. Because I was the only person in the world that he truly hoped would not kill him."
Vito Corleone, The Godfather

"You know, there's a word for people like you. I'll give you a hint: It starts with 'bi' and it ends with 'otch'."
Eikichi Onizuka, Great Teacher Onizuka

"What'll happen to your children when I've killed you? When Mummy's gone the same way as Freddie?"
Bellatrix Lestrange (to Molly Weasley), Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, in what proves to be her final mistake.

"It can't be sustainable for him to be so casually insulting to everyone."
Hisao Nakai, Katawa Shoujo

"You know, Cooper...I've only been around you a minute or two, but that's enough time for me to know that I don't like you very much."

"Let's be clear here. We're talking about a person that a couple of total assholes find rude."
Jerry "Tycho" Holkins, (talking about Harlan Ellison®), Penny Arcade

"You seem unhappy. I like that."
Janitor, Scrubs

"The selfish man is like a mangy dog chasing a cautionary tale."
Sergeant Calhoun, (describing Turbo), Wreck-It Ralph

"I aspire to more creativity than the common asshole. I'm more of a ... class-hole, if you will."
Black Hat Guy, xkcd

"You're so unpleasant even I'm impressed. Do you visit orphanages to explain there's no Santa?"
Emma Frost to Agent Brand, Astonishing X-Men

Noah: I'm going to enjoy taking control of your body, Kaiba. The first thing I'm going to do is make a big donation to the local children's hospital, and then I'm going to give all the Kaiba Corporation employees a big raise.
Kaiba: You will do no such thing!

Hello, my name is Zak Gramarye. And I'm a jerk!

Welcome to the troupe! I'm Magnifi, and I am also a jerk.

"Were you born a loser, or did it just take practice?"
The hidden announcer, Wave Race Blue Storm

"OH MY GOD! YOU LEFT A SEARCH FOR A LOST CHILD TO FUCK THE MAIL-LADY?! First the sandwiches, then the evil laughter, now abandoning a child to get laid! Dude, you're not gonna find the kid in her vagina! [...] I can't take this guy, I really can't. He isn't just an asshole, he's like, a compilation of assholes to make the world's biggest asshole! The Six-Million Dollar Asshole!"
The Nostalgia Critic, The Tommyknockers review, about Becka's cheating husband Joe.

Dorothy: So, Mike, you hungry?
Mike : No, I am sustained by the sadness of others.

"Awfully unsporting of me, I know but what they hey, I've gotta have some fun! (Beat) And besides, it's really duck season!"
Daffy Duck, Rabbit Seasoning

I mean, he's wholly and unapologetically Evil, but more to the point, he's kind of a dick.
Rich Burlew describing Xykon, The Order of the Stick

Everybody knows
That you're just an asshole
Everywhere you go
People wanna go
"Oh, everybody knows"
Everybody knows
So don't pretend to be nice
There's no place you can hide
You are just an asshole
Skylar Grey on the Eminem song "Asshole"

Gao: Nobu isn't very happy with you.
Fisk: That man is never happy with anyone.
Gao: True.

Yondu: You like a professional asshole, or what?
Rocket Raccoon: Pretty much a pro.

"Hes a thief. Hes a killer. And worst of all, hes... hes rude."