Quotes: Consummate Liar

    open/close all folders 

Golden words he will pour in your ear
But his lies can't disguise what you fear
Shirley Bassey, from the theme to Goldfinger

In thy foul throat thou liest.

Have I lied to you? I mean in this room."
GLaDOS, Portal

I lied. That's what I do.
Benjamin Linus, LOST

Deepthroat: I'm the liar. You're the killer.
Cigarette Smoking Man: Your lies have killed more in a day than I have in a lifetime.
The X-Files, "Musings of a Cigarette-Smoking Man"

Sicilians are great liars; the best in the world. I'm Sicilian. My father was the world heavy-weight champion of Sicilian liars. From growing up with him, I learned the pantomime. There are seventeen different things a guy can do when he lies to give himself away. A guy's got seventeen pantomimes. (A woman's got twenty, a guy's got seventeen, but...) If you know them, like you know your own face, they beat lie detectors all to hell.
Vincenzo Cocotti, True Romance

When dealing with a pathological liar, don't go looking for signs of a guilty conscience. True deceivers enjoy the lie. They know to look you dead in the eye and usually shed a few tears on demand. So if you want to know when they're lying, look for the little smile when deceiving a room full of people.
Michael Westen, Burn Notice ("Partners in Crime")

Zack: Is your name Walter Burke?
Walter Burke: No.
Polygraph Interrogator: [troubled] True.

I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It's awful. If I'm on my way to the store to buy a magazine, even, and somebody asks me where I'm going, I'm liable to say I'm going to the opera. It's terrible.
Holden Caufield, The Catcher in the Rye

Toph: And stick to the truth. I'll be able to tell if you're lying.
Azula: Are you sure? I'm a pretty good liar. I am a four-hundred-foot tall purple platypus bear with pink horns and silver wings.
Toph: ...Okay, you're good. I admit it.
Avatar: The Last AirbenderThe Day of Black Sun Part 2: "The Eclipse"

One lie after another. You make it look easy.
Ryuk (to Light), Death Note

Tell me Light, from the moment you were born, has there actually been a point in your life where you've actually told the truth?
L to Light Yagami, Death Note

Dr. Julian Bashir: Out of all the stories you told me, which ones were true and which ones weren't?
Elim Garak: My dear Doctor, they're all true.
Dr. Julian Bashir: Even the lies?
Elim Garak: Especially the lies.

    real life 
A liar is always lavish of oaths.
Pierre Corneille

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes.

The liar's punishment is, not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.
George Bernard Shaw, The Quintessence of Ibsenism

An unexciting truth may be eclipsed by a thrilling falsehood.
Aldous Huxley, Brave New World Revisited

I caught Truman out in a dozen or so lies that everyone else preferred to believe. I can't think what labor of Hercules I thought I had undertaken, and certainly to no useful end, because the instant lie was Truman's art form, small but, paradoxically, authentic. One could watch the process. A famous name would be registered. The round pale fetus face would suddenly register a sort of tic, as if a switch had been thrown. 'Eleanor Roosevelt. Oh, I know her intimately!
Gore Vidal on Truman Capote, Palimpsest

Every word she writes in a lie, including 'and' and 'the.'
Mary McCarthy on, err... 'colleague' Lillian Hellman, The Dick Cavett Show

The amount of energy necessary to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it.
Alberto Brandolini, programmer

There is a serene quality in a great hypocrite that I greatly admire. I don't think it's possible to be a frenzied hypocrite. That wouldn't do at all. There's nearly always a sublime self-assurance to a good hypocrite, don't you think? Hypocrites are not prone to self-doubt. I always imagine that great hypocrites have no interior life at all; what you see is what they are. All good actors have a touch of the hypocrite. I think I was born to be a hypocrite, all exterior and hollow, but wanting to amuse. Hypocrites can be very generous, too, so long as the world is watching.
Tom Baker, Who On Earth Is Tom Baker?

Chip Cheezum: [If Revolver Ocelot were president] Every time there's, like, a State of the Union address, it'd just be him going "I tricked all of you, America! I tricked you into thinking that I tricked you! And then I tricked you again! Bet you didn't see that one coming!"
GeneralIronicus: "Even I don't know how many times you've been tricked!"
Chip Cheezum: "I got a trick-diary!"
GeneralIronicus: "I tricked myself into tricking me to trick you, to trick me to trick the Patriots!"
Chip Cheezum: "I can't do anything without tricking! I can't even ask for pepper without tricking them into giving me the pepper!"

Andrew Wakefield is a British former physician and medical researcher and is one of the originators of the modern anti-vaccine movement. He is best known for his fraudulent study alleging a link between the measles-mumps-rubella (MMR) vaccine and autism. Once the massive methodological and ethical flaws in this paper came to light, the Lancet rejected it about as hard as Jehovah rejected Lucifer. Like Lucifer, the paper has spawned a vast number of evil and stupid minions bent on destroying the world....Many anti-vaxers like to claim that there is a Big pharma conspiracy to discredit Wakefield. However, in reality there is good evidence that 'Big Pharma' was actually funding him until it became clear that his 'research' and claims were questionable.

'Something something something horrifically unfair government case against him and just like that, he becomes techs 'hacktivist hero.' He now had A Platform not just in the hacker/troll world but in the broader tech community I was part of. And were not just talking stories and interviews in Tech Crunch and HuffPo (and everywhere else), but his own essays in those publications. A tech industry award. His status was elevated, his reach was broadened. And for reasons I will never understand, he suddenly had gained not just status and Important Friends, but also 'credibility'.
Kathy Sierra on hacktivist/neo-Nazi Andrew "weev" Auernheimer

Although Kiselyov denies that he gets direct instructions from the Kremlin, he was appointed by Putin and is under no illusions about what is expected of him. When he goes on an anti-Semitic tirade against an opposition journalist or mocks American officials, he is doing what he was hired to do. He is a wily, cynical man, and well briefed. When we met, he quickly wanted me to know that he had somehow seen a film of a speech Id given a couple of years ago in Moscow. 'You mesmerized the public, you made them zombies!' he said, delighted with himself. 'They looked at you the way they would a boa constrictor!
The New Yorker on Dmitri Kiselyov, head of Russia Today