This Page Will Self-Destruct
Good luck, Jim.
As always, should you or any of your IM force be caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions. This tape will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck, Jim.
Standard spy trope. After a spy receives a message, the last words state that whatever device the spy received the message on will self-destruct. Cue the agent stepping back as the device goes up in smoke and a shower of sparks. Can be Played for Laughs
when the message is a simple letter. Upon reading the last line, the spy drops the paper, which bursts into flames or blows up
This is true
to some degree, as secret messages are often designed to be destroyed without a trace, though none of them use elaborate self-destruction for such purpose—usually, they depend on the message-receiver to destroy them. Stuff Blowing Up
tends to attract attention, something good spies despise (and more importantly, they might need to look or listen more than once
Often part of a Mission Briefing
. Has absolutely nothing to do with Flame Bait
or any other inspiration for the Rule of Cautious Editing Judgement
See also: Booby Trap
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Anime and Manga
- In Go Nagai's manga version of Cutey Honey, the recording that informs the title character of her true nature also tells her that the house will soon self-destruct. Honey is about this close to leaving the other witness there to die in order to keep her secret.
- In Sekirei, the CEO uses a robotic dummy to give a message at the end of the third match. The message ends with the dummy saying that it will self-destruct in ten seconds... But Homura, who hates the CEO, blows it up before the countdown even starts.
- The anime Sonic X parodies this trope. Every time Eggman sends a video message to Sonic and company, he claims that something completely random and weird will happen after it's finished, which the robot messenger Bokkun then has to fulfill, such as "after this message, there will be karate". The one time he did the traditional "This message will self-destruct" thing, the message was accidentally delivered to him instead of Sonic.
- Knuckles once did this to Sonic in episode 5. The message actually explodes in Sonic's face.
Eggman: This message is brought to you by the Eggman Empire, even though we are not responsible for the content- except this part. (Boom!)
- Bokkun is also obsessed with bombs, which is why Sonic and Chris once jumped behind a couch when he came to deliver a message.
Well, that was a very impolite welcome.
- In A Certain Magical Index, Touma saves Index's life but is hospitalized with amnesia in the process. Stiyl asks the doctor to pass Touma a letter, but Index takes it. The letter is Stiyl grudgingly thanking Touma for saving Index, then the final line says the letter destroys itself shortly after being opened, and it crumbles to dust in Index's hands.
- Later, when Stiyl conscripts Touma for the "Deep Blood" mission, he gives Touma the blueprints for the building and other info, but the papers crumble to dust before he can finish reading them.
- In Yatterman the Big Bad Dokurobee always sent to his henchmen some little robots, shaped accordingly to that episode's theme, which carried his messages and then self-destructed. This was only the first of many Non-Fatal Explosions happened to the villains throughout every episode.
- In Death Note, Light uses this method to destroy the titular notebook in case it is ever found. He has a desk drawer with the note hidden in a false bottom, which is wired to soak it in flammable liquid and ignite it with an electrical spark. To access it he uses the ink cartridge of a ballpoint pen; inserting it into a hole in the bottom of the drawer will simultaneously reveal the false bottom and break the circuit that triggers the booby trap. This Chekhov's Gun never fires, however, and just serves to show how clever and Crazy-Prepared Light is.
- Hanaukyō Maid Tai: The message Taro got from his grandfather in the manga's first chapter.
- In Outlaw Star, Gene and two perverted men watch a videotape where a woman strips while there is a countdown on the screen. As the countdown reaches zero, the woman says, "You must be the dumbest people alive." and the tape explodes in their faces. Trio declare it was Worth It.
- Referenced in Asterix and the Secret Agent, where the parchment bursts into flames when the spy's done reading.
- Mortadelo y Filemón often plays with this trope, too, but the methods by which the message is destroyed are usually bizarre. For example, one recorded message states, "This message will be destroyed within five seconds," then proceeds to play a song which one of the main characters apparently hates, causing him to destroy the record (and the player) in a fit of rage.
- Other examples: having Mortadelo burn a dynamite stick attached to the note - directly referencing "Mission: Impossible" - or making them eat the note.
- Used in Gorsky and Butch during a Mission: Impossible spoof - a pair of glasses showed Butch the details of the mission, then self-destructed before he could take them off.
- This happened in one issue of the Comic Book Adaptation of Woody Woodpecker when Woody was sent on a spy mission.
- Parodied The Incredibles (by video.) Mr. Incredible is in a rush to find a pencil to write down what it says before it self-destructs, it explodes in a small room and he opens the door to escape the smoke, setting the fire sprinklers off.
- All four Mission: Impossible films follow the TV show in using this. One has a regular film tape, another self-destructing VR Ray-bans, the third a camera with a player inside. The fourth movie uses a self-parodying Mythology Gag: the fancy touchscreen with the mission description is hidden in an obsolete Moscow payphone, and doesn't explode on the first try.
- Arguably, the gag is pushed further a bit later in the movie when the mission briefing is delivered to Ethan directly by the IMF secretary, who gets shot in the head mere seconds after finishing the speech...
- In Spy Hard, the hero left the self-destructing tape recorder in the helicopter he was flying in without thinking, and the pilot has a big Oh Crap moment when he hears the self-destruct message. It blows up the helicopter, killing the pilot- Mr. T.
- Played around by Ernest in the beginning of Ernest in the Army.
- In Soviet police drama Cure Against Fear at one point the detective receives an air-tight envelope with an anonymous letter that tells that one character hides in his car a cache with the eponymous drug — a powerful sedative connected to several crimes. In a few minutes it takes him to bring the letter to his boss the paper turns into a steaming pile of ashes. At that point the investigator is already sure that the mastermind behind the crimes is a pharmaceutical researcher with superiority complex who is framing his colleague (who is also an arrogant snob).note
- In the Alex Rider books (once which parodies the practice; the item in question is a perfectly normal get-well-soon card).
- In the Tom Clancy novel The Cardinal of the Kremlin, the information from the titular spy would be typed up in the American Embassy on flash paper and inserted into a container which would ignite if anyone tried to mess with it. It was then transported by diplomatic pouch to the CIA headquarters where in the office of the Director it was disarmed. The Director would then photocopy it and get rid of the originals, since having flammable paper around is a hazard. It was mentioned that Directors felt this was overly dramatic... until the first time they saw how important the information was. Cardinal himself would pass his information to the courier chain on photographic film, with a bit at the end of the roll of film sticking out of the film canister. If any of the couriers in the chain suspected that they were being followed, they were supposed to grab that end of film, and pull, exposing the entire roll, and destroying what was on it.
- In Jingo, Sam Vimes receives a self-destructing note. Including an apology from Leonard of Quirm for not having better chemicals to do the job.
- In Monstrous Regiment, the codebook is edible paper, allowing easy destruction in case of capture... laced with arsenic, so the spy can't be captured either.
- In Isaac Asimov's novel Foundation and Empire, the Foundation's secret messages are sent on a medium that oxidizes to gas within a minute after exposure to air.
- Variant in Murder on the Orient Express: Hercule Poirot recovers writing on a burnt letter—by burning it again. The burnt ink burns before the burnt paper, and so for a few brief moments, the fragments of words are written in fire. Obviously, this method has to be done right the first time...
- In a Phoenix Force novel the Five-Man Band leave a taped message for the people chasing them, which concludes: "Have you guys ever watched a show called Mission: Impossible?" Five seconds later the tape player explodes killing several of the bad guys.
- Bob receives a mission briefing like this in The Jennifer Morgue. Complications ensue when the briefing ends up self-destructing before he's actually finished reading it.
- Boris is also annoyed, because his laptop is running the briefing, and when The Laundry say that something will self-destruct, they mean it.
- Myth Adventures.
Tananda: Don Bruce isn't taking chances on any-one reading this, is he?
Guido: That is the middle crux of the issue.
Chumley: What was sealing the scroll?
- "Howlers" in the Harry Potter universe are magical letters of (usually...) reprimand that scream at you loud enough to rattle cutlery and shake dust from a high-ceilinged room... and when they are done they burst into flames. If not opened, they also burst into flames, and the insults are mangled. Obviously they are very humiliating to get.
Live Action TV
- Of course, this was the way every Mission Briefing for Mission: Impossible was done. While in parodies the message often destroys itself with a large and lethally dangerous explosion, in the actual series the destruction was harmless and the most the audience sees is the tape suddenly start to smoke slightly; there weren't even any flames, and Phelps usually just dumps the ruined and still-smoking tape in a rubbish bin or something equivalent. Sometimes they tried to get creative on exactly how the item self destructed. This show is pretty much the Ur Example of this trope. That being said, the early episodes didn't have this trope yet. The tape ended with "Please dispose of this message in the usual manner", upon which the addressee (Usually Briggs or Phelps) threw all the documents into a conveniently placed incinerator or other means to destroy the tape.
- There's a Michael Bentine BBC sketch, which he performed on TV and radio, about a spy who is ordered to memorise his orders and then destroy them. When he tries to burn them his contact warns him not to use a flame in case the enemy sees them, so he has no choice but to eat the document. He is then shown the plan of the enemy's rocket, and has to eat the plan. Finally he is shown a model of the rocket, which he is then ordered to destroy... (In the TV version the rocket was actually a rocket-shaped cake.) Finally he is ordered to "Repeat!" and emits a huge belch.
- Played for Laughs in more than one episode of Whose Line Is It Anyway??:
"This tape will self-destruct NOW!"
"This message will turn into a bird and FLY AWAY!"
"This tape will self-destruct... in two or three days. So use British Mail and make sure it goes nowhere!"
- In addition, the "tapes" have been rewound or paused prior to detonation on some occasions.
- Also played half-straight, half for laughs, in the MythBusters Heist Special. The gang gets the tape that self-destructs, and watches it go off.
- On Alias, Sydney must meet up with her evil agent counterpart, as one has the parchment message and the other has the only liquid solution that will make it readable. They meet in a stadium flanked by snipers and both look at the message at the same time, but it starts to dissolve, so both have to read as much as they can and sprint back to their handlers to write it down before they forget.
- On "Chuck", the mysterious Orion ends a message with this. The CD decomposes in Chuck's computer in a burst of steam.
- The season 2 finale of Castle, A Deadly Game, features a simulated spy game that involves a secret message delivered by self-destructing pen.
- Monty Python's Flying Circus has two explosions in the "Penguin on the television" sketch, the first of which fits the trope: A radio presenter ends his speech with "And now, Radio Four will explode." Cue the receiver exploding.
- Used in The Suite Life on Deck ...with a text message!
- Get Smart. Max goes to a coin locker where a taped message from the Chief is waiting, then opens two other lockers for the speakers. After getting his briefing, the Chief announces that the tape will destruct in five seconds. Maybe six... The explosion destroys everything except the tape, which refuses to stop playing after Max's repeated attempts to destroy it. In the end Max has to tuck the bulky tape player under his coat and walk off with it.
- Johnny Carson parodied the exploding tape without mercy.
- In the first episode of UFO, Colonel Straker is carrying a briefcase chained to his wrist with taped evidence of a Flying Saucer. When a British minister wants to look at the contents, Straker flicks a catch hidden under a nameplate, exposing the words DESTRUCT NEGATIVE, before opening the briefcase. Unfortunately the aliens who subsequently attack the vehicle are more interested in destroying this evidence than stealing it.
- In a Peanuts strip, when Linus' mother was putting notes in his school lunch, one such note ended, "This note will self-destruct in five seconds," and promptly vanished.
- An old Dungeons & Dragons spell "Magic Mouth". It records a short message and replays it later when pre-set conditions are met. And then vanishes.
- Then there is Explosive Runes, which creates a magical writing which explodes when read. You can set some condition for non-triggering it, making it both versions of this trope at once.
- In one of the official adventures for Paranoia, the team leader is given self-destructing (specifically, self-dissolving) mission orders. There are just two small problems. One, the mission orders will begin to self-destruct well before the character has time to finish reading. Two, if the character doesn't drop the orders the instant the GM hints at this, he will self-destruct right along with them. Three, the self-destruct isn't instant, and anyone the character touches before succumbing may, at the whim of the GM, join them in dissolving away.
- Parodied in Duke Nukem 3D's "It's Impossible" level, itself an extended parody of Mission: Impossible and other works of Spy Fiction. A tape recorder sitting on a desk in the building Duke's infiltrating can be activated by the player, proclaiming "This tape will self-destruct in one second!" Cue a comically large explosion one second later which destroys a sizable chunk of the desk the tape recorder was on, everything near it and Duke Nukem himself if the player didn't get the hint in time to make a run for it.
- A truly bizarre variant appears in The Short-Lived Adventures of Hobo Dan for MegaZeux: After the credits finish rolling, the game itself will self-destruct by way of overwriting itself with a dud file.
- EVA's message to Snake at the end of Metal Gear Solid 3 self-destructs when he's done listening to it. Probably a homage to Mission: Impossible.
- In Pokémon Mystery Dungeon, the mission pages for the Seven Treasures quest all self-destruct on being opened.
- CABAL's secret message to Slavik when the latter is imprisoned by GDI. Justifed though as the "message" contained enough C-4 to blow up Slavik's cell door.
- Spoofed in City of Heroes: In your first contact mission with Twinshot, she'll ask you to identify yourself through a security terminal. You can try to tell her that your name is Inigo Montoya, but then she'll berate you for using a decades-old joke and threaten to blow up the terminal. (She doesn't actually do it, of course.)
- In the introduction to the Super Nintendo Animaniacs game the CEO of Warner Brothers, after giving Wakko, Yakko and Dot their mission to retrieve a movie script stolen by Pinky and the Brain, said "This message will self-destruct in one second," followed by an exploding videophone and Yakko mournfully saying "There goes my lunch..."
- In War Of The Human Tanks, you receive a message from an enemy Human Tank at the start of the third mission, and after it is finished delivering the message, it blows up.
- Hatoful Boyfriend's tie-in manga subverts this. When Yuuya gets a tape with his next assignment he's told that the tape won't self destruct so please dispose of it properly. "It looks like the explosives budget's been cut, huh..." he says.
- The Order of the Stick Explosive Runes: Once Read Kaboom. One tactic of Vaarsuvius in his/her "discussions" with Belkar.
- Parodied in Inspector Gadget, where Gadget's absentmindedness always leads to the message literally exploding in Chief Quimby's face (Non-Fatal Explosions, though), who can never quite remember why he keeps that guy on the payroll ("Why do I put up with him?").
- The tradition even remains in the later series when Chief Quimby made a guest appearance.
- The Spiritual Successor series Gadget Boy did this in at least a couple episodes.
- Stan of American Dad! once was given a message that he quickly destroyed himself by eating to impress his boss, but it turns out it destroys itself. He keeps his stride by joking that "at least it's better than my wife's cooking", but then laments that he'll be pooping blood for a while.
- Spoofed in The Simpsons episode "The Trouble With Trillions", where the FBI agent is informed "This film will self destruct... if improperly stored".
- The message was hidden in a photo booth where the password "cheese", so spoofed again when Apu and Manjula walk in seconds later and we learn exactly why this trope exists in the first place.
- Animaniacs riffs on this once with a self-destructing tape recorder, which as well as the message plays the Mission Impossible theme-for a "Mission Implausible" for which such drama is not really necessary. Wakko then eats the tape recorder, and burps, breaking all windows in the place.
- One of the recurring sources of pain for The Chew Toy in Calling Cat-22, no matter how hard he tries to escape it.
- In an episode of The Fairly OddParents, Timmy wishes his life were like an action movie. The next morning at breakfast, his dad slides a tape recorder across the table to tell his son to pass the butter before the obligatory "this message will self-destruct" line.
- Kim Possible: Parodied in "Job Unfair", where Ron is so excited about getting a spy briefing like this, he fails to realize that the message is about to explode.
- In the Israeli TV show MK 22, an Arab messenger tells a character something, and then says "This messenger will self destruct in three. Two. One." The guy pushes a button, explodes.
- Used in an episode of Spongebob Squarepants when Mr. Krabs commissions Spongebob and Patrick to spy on Plankton, giving them their mission via Krabby Patty... that, of course, explodes after the message.
- Spoofed on The Penguins of Madagascar. "This recording will self-destruct... right now!", and then Rico appears out of nowhere and bashes the recorder with a baseball bat.
- Used on the Danger Mouse episodes "The World Of Machines," "The Duel," and "The Odd Ball Runaround."
- In the Josie and the Pussycats episode "Never Mind A Master Mind", the gang finds a taped message inside a purple shoe. At the end, the message says it will self-destruct in one second. BOOM
- Parodied on Filmation's Ghostbusters, where the title heroes got their secret messages from "Mr. Zero". The messages were hidden in improbable items (cream pies, a tuba, etc.) and would explode after the tape stopped, always on Tracy the Gorilla's face.
- During World War II, some codebooks would be printed on rice paper so they could be swallowed if necessary.
- Codebooks on naval vessels used to be (maybe they still are) bound with lead covers so they could be thrown overboard in case the ship was in danger of being captured.
- The German ENIGMA codebooks in WWII were printed in water soluble ink, so the operators could just pour their water bottles over them and destroy the data. This was particularly important when the Brits were trying to capture the U-boat settings.
- The KGB sometimes used flash paper (paper made of nitrocellulose) instead of normal paper to print their one-time-only codes; after using them, the recipient burned the paper, and the nitrocellulose would burn instantly and without smoke or ash.
- There is a material called "Dissolvo" paper which has been used for confidential documents (among other practical applications) for its quality that it completely dissolves in water.
- Several companies have produced DVDs designed to deteriorate between 8 and 48 hours after being removed from their packaging, in a rather dramatic form of Copy Protection.
- It's more like "making sure you return the rental on time". The disc actually used the same copy protection systems as their non-self-destructing counterparts and can be copied as long as you have software that can bypass said copy protection and as long as you get to the disc before it has self-destructed.
- In 1992, William Gibson contributed to an art project entitled Agrippa (a book of the dead), which consisted of a poem encoded on a floppy disk that would erase itself after one reading, and engravings that would fade when exposed to light.
- Many DRM systems are designed around destroying the document after the expiration date. Or at least making it inaccessible.
- There are devices that can instantly destroy a hard disk, either by stabbing it with a spring-mounted nail or by bathing it in microwaves. They are self-contained and will work even if police cut off electricity from your office before storming in.
- Then there was one of Galileo's books, which was once printed in parchment and highly soluble ink, so if you were caught reading it you could just throw it at some river and nobody could prove anything. Presumably other heretical books would've gotten the same distribution.
- As noted in the Self-Destruct Mechanism page, many arcade games between the 80s and 2000s deployed suicide batteries. The data on the ROM is encrypted, and thesuicide battery is wired up to protect the decryption key stored on volatile RAM. If the battery drains, the key is Lost Forever. However, arcade machines made after the 2000s employed time-bombed dongles and expiry dates hardcoded into the game itself.
- At least one Darwin Award has played this trope straight— the 'paper', in this case, was an explosive briefcase, secured with a latch that prevented the case from opening too far (so the documents couldn't be photographed before they were destroyed) and an arming pin (so the agent can pull the pin and run if he's needs to ditch the case). To open the case safely, you needed a small piece of thin metal to hold the latch down. The agent (and 'winner' of the award) was unable to find a small thin piece of metal — so she pulled the arming pin out and used that instead. As expected, the result was 'boom'.
This trope will self-destruct in five seconds.
BOOM! I Lied.