Inconvenient Attraction

Ned: What's the matter, Linda?
Linda: (Looks up at him. A moment, then) I love the boy, Neddy.
Ned: I thought so. — Hell, isn't it?
Linda: I guess it will be.
Holiday

Sometimes people fall in love (or other, more superficial forms of attraction) and hate it. Not just the circumstances that prevent them from acting on their love, or the disappointment that inevitably results, but the feeling of love itself. For these people, the Love Epiphany is a This Is Going to Suck moment, and they wish with all their hearts they could fall out of love.

There are many possible reasons for this. They may think that Love Is a Weakness, and thus wish to avoid being in love with anyone. Or they may be fine with love in general, but find the other person problematic for some reason. Or the timing might just be bad. Whatever the reason, it is their specific feelings of attraction for a particular person that they find upsetting.

The situation may resolve itself in a variety of ways. Often, the circumstances that make the attraction inconvenient will gradually be cleared away, freeing the person to pursue a relationship with their loved one. Alternatively, circumstances may stay the same, but the person may overcome their resistance and decide to pursue a relationship in spite of them. Admitting one's feeling openly and allowing oneself to work through one's disappointment with the help and support of others is rare, but not unheard of. A few lucky folks even succeed in falling out of love.

Decidedly Truth in Television.

Tends to affect characters who know that Love Hurts. One specific Sub-Trope is Sex Is Evil and I Am Horny, which is for characters who are anti-sex and therefore feel disgusted by their own sexual feelings. Stupid Sexy Friend can be a cause of this, while Tsundere can be a result. If it leads to a breakup between the subject and their partner, expect them to explain that It's Not You, It's Me.

Contrast In Love with Love.


Examples:

Anime and Manga
  • In Medaka Box, Zenkichi freaks out when he finally figures out he is in love with Medaka and wants to date her, because he thinks the fact he has these feelings makes him a despicable and horrible person who barely deserves to live, as they mean he has only been supporting Medaka the majority of both of their lives for a selfish reason.
  • In My Monster Secret, Aizawa Nagisa is distraught to find herself in love with the main character Asahi. Not only she rejected him harshly the previous year (where she hadn't fallen in love yet), but also she knows that her close friend Youko is in love with Asahi, too, and that he loves her back. It becomes even more of a problem in part 2, when Asahi and Youko effectively become a couple, but Nagisa still can't let it go, as much as she would like to. Even later on Shiho, Youko's childhood friend has the same problem when her long-denied feelings for Asahi start to surface. Unlike Nagisa, though, she manages to move on once she confesses.
  • Played with in One Piece: One strange trait that is found in all rulers of the Kuja Tribe is that, when they fall in love, it literally hurts them to the point of making them sick and eventually killing them. When the current ruler, Boa Hancock, starts feeling love for the main character Luffy, she gets sick and feared that it'll kill her. Elder Nyon, a former ruler and Hancock's mother figure of sorts, says that said previous rulers got sick and died because they vehemently tried to deny their feelings; the only way to survive it is to accept that you're in love with someone, just like Nyon did. So Hancock becomes more open to Luffy about her feelings (although he doesn't reciprocate) and she ends up being well.
  • In Ouran High School Host Club, Haruhi eventually finds out that she's in love with Tamaki, a revelation she completely freaks out at and tries her best at denying, spending a whole chapter basically running around in panic before going to bed sick. Upon finding out, she explicitly thinks "I don't want to be in love with him!!!"
  • In Koi Kaze, Koshiro has an epic freak-out when he discovers that the girl he just met - and fell in love with basically at first sight - is actually his younger sister. He spends most of the series trying to resist his feelings.

Comic Book
  • In ElfQuest, Ember and Teir experience recognition (their race's Mate or Die biological imperative) in the middle of a desperate battle with humans. Recognition is normally cause for joy and celebration, but is extremely problematic at that particular moment, and keeps making things worse when Ember gets captured and Teir has to be prevented from suicidally charging after her. Even once they rescue her, Ember's not ready to become a mother, and has the magic-users "turn off" their recognition for the time being.
  • In New X-Men, Emma Frost becomes distraught when she realizes that she's genuinely fallen for Scott Summers.

Fan Fiction
  • A variation in Advice and Trust. Kaworu doesn't actually love Rei (being a child of Adam makes that an alien concept to him). But his human body lusts after her, especially when she's angry, which just makes her even angrier.
    Kaworu: The Lilim parts of my mind are… making suggestions' for things they want to do with you! You are unfortunately very attractive!

Film
  • The prime minister in Love Actually, immediately after meeting and falling in Love at First Sight with a member of his staff, walks away into his private office and says aloud to himself: "Oh, no, that is so inconvenient."
  • The Lady Eve: Con-woman Jean was very upset when she realized she had fallen in love with Charles, the naive scientist she had been conning.

Literature
  • Taken to extremes in The Millennium Trilogy, where Lizbeth Salander goes into a year-long Heroic B.S.O.D. after realizing that she's actually fallen for Mikael Blomkvist.
  • Pride and Prejudice: Mr. Darcy's first proposal to Elizabeth is all about how he has fallen in love with her despite his misgivings about her family.
    Mr. Darcy: In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.
  • In the tie-in novel to Starship Titanic, there's a brief scene set on a planet where love is considered a minor medical ailment. A husband mentions to his wife that he's finding a young lady interesting, and she casually suggests he make a doctor's appointment.

Live-Action TV
  • At the end of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode "Out of My Mind", Spike (an evil, soulless, murderous vampire) realises via a dream that he has developed sexual feelings for Buffy. He is horrified.
    Buffy: Spike. I want you.
    Spike: Buffy, I love you. God, I love you so much.
    (Spike wakes up in a panic.)
    Spike: Oh, God no. Please no.
  • Clarissa Explains It All: One episode had Clarissa developing a crush on a young TV weatherman, and suddenly doing everything in relation to how it affects or is affected by the weather, something she usually cares nothing about. She flat out says she hates the way she feels because it's making her do things she doesn't normally do, or even like. Fortunately, it's all taken care of when she finally has a chance to meet the guy and finds out he's a borderline narcissist.
  • Emmerdale: Robert Sugden thought he had everything he'd ever wanted in life: a gorgeous and spirited wife, life in a big house, and a fancy job with a high income and major perks. And then he fell madly in love with Aaron Livesy. In Robert's words, "falling in love with you was the worst mistake I ever made."
  • Once Upon a Time: The first season has Mary-Margaret Blanchard and David Nolan (the cursed identities of Snow White and Prince Charming) falling for each other. The problem is David is married so the two of them know they can't have a relationship and don't even want to feel this way, but they continue to be drawn to each other for reasons neither of them understand. This inevitably leads to complications, heartache, and when a human heart is discovered after David's wife vanishes, Mary-Margaret winds up being accused of murder.
  • In The Office (US), Jan does not like nor understand why she feels so attracted to Michael.
    Jan: This is the point, okay? You're wrong for me.
    Michael: ... okay.
    Jan: In every way.
    Michael: Well, I-
    Jan: But I still find myself wanting to... be with you.

Music
  • The narrator of Bowling for Soup's song "Don't Let It Be Love" feels this way when he realizes he is falling for an old flame again.

Theatre
  • In Camelot (as in other versions of the Arthurian Legends) Guinevere (Arthur's wife) and Lancelot (Arthur's best knight) are distressed to find themselves in love with each other. Since they both love Arthur, they are tormented by their feelings of desire and guilt.
    Lancelot: Jenny, I — I love you. God forgive me, but I do.
    Guinevere: Then God forgive us both, Lance.
Arthur, who picks up on the situation right away, refers to it as a "calamity".
  • Half-way through Holiday, Linda realises she has fallen in love with her sister's fiancé. Being a good sister, she refuses to do anything to disrupt the relationship, but she still struggles with her own feelings.

Video Games

Western Animation
  • In The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, Mandy falls in love with Billy's new friend, Pif. Mandy is distraught, because she desires to hate everything and everyone. She asks Grim to cut her heart out, so she could no longer love. Pif had annoyed Grim earlier, so he decides to doll Mandy up instead, so she can turn Pif down when he asks her to the dance.
  • "The Last Temptation of Homer" from The Simpsons revolving around Homer falling in love with an attractive co-worker named Mindy Simmons, much to his chagrin. It is heavily implied that Mindy doesn't want to be attracted to Homer either. In the end, Homer ultimately chooses to stay faithful to Marge, which Mindy accepts—she leaves after sharing a kiss with Homer, and Marge later shows up to share a romantic evening with Homer.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InconvenientAttraction