Funny / Scream Queens (2015)

Season 1

1x01: Pilot

• When Dean Munsch lists the atrocities that have occurred during Chanel's reign as Kappa president, bestiality is among them. Chanel counters that that goat was drunk and, as such, that was entirely on him.
• Chanel screeching "MISS BEAN, I SAID LET'S HIT IT!"
• Chanel trying to convince Miss Bean to go along with her plan by theorizing that the 'ethnics' will bring weird spices that will cause the 'fatties' to overuse the toilets - prompting an Eye Take from Miss Bean at the thoughts of what she might have to clean up.
  Chanel: I don't want that. I don't want that for you.
• The death of Chanel #2. To go into detail, the Red Devil appears in her room and texts that he's going to kill her. Chanel #2 texts him back just before he stabs her. Instead of screaming for help, Chanel #2 kicks the Red Devil across the room, then crawls to her laptop (even though she'd only been stabbed in the shoulder), and tweets that she's being killed. The Red Devil stabs her again and she dies. Then she regains consciousness for a split second to post her tweet.
• Tiffany's (Deaf Taylor Swift's) death in which as the sisters are buried underground as part of Hell Week, the sound of lawnmower engine nearby causes them to scream with panic. As she doesn't know why they are being so loud, she assumes they're singing Taylor Swift and proceeds to belt out "Shake It Off." Then she sees the lawnmower coming straight for her head.
• After Ms. Bean dies, Chanel tries to argue that she didn't die from getting her face burned by fry oil, but from a heart attack. Due to getting her face burned by fry oil.

1x02: Hell Week

• At the beginning of the episode a frat-bro walks out of the house... with a goat.
• Denise explaining in length what to do if the Kappa Sisters need any help: scream her name, dial a number, or run away, then dial a number.
  • Specifically, if you call her name, she will come running because she is always on the premises. If she does not come running, it is because she is not on the premises.
• Hester's amazing (and creepy) monologue about how to dispose of Chanel #2's corpse.
• Chanel's screaming reaction to watching "the candle eater" Jennifer's vlogs about candles.
• When Chanel confronts the Red Devil and informs everyone about it, Denise suggests that they run out the house and find help instead of trying to go find him. None of them listen to her.
• Chad's obsession with death REALLY puts a damper on his having sex with Chanel.
  Chad: I'm gonna choke you out!
  Chanel: Chad! (they stop) There's a serial killer on the loose. Please don't say you want to choke me!
  Chad: Okay. Geez. Sorry. Uptight. (they resume having sex) You like that? I'd love having sex with your corpse.
  Chanel: What?! (they stop again) What did you just say?
  Chad: You just talked about a serial killer. You made me picture it.
  Chanel: (getting out of bed) Okay, you know what? I'm sorry. This isn't working for me. You know what I could really use right now? A boyfriend!
• The death of Shondell and Denise's reaction to it. That is all.
  Denise: Shondell! Why you got a knife in your throat?!
  • Denise starts to drive off, then stops, opens the passenger door, shoves Shondell's body out of the car, and then drives off.
• All of the Dickie Dollar Scholars frat brothers screeching at the top of their lungs after they find Boone's (not quite dead) body.
• Hester asking the Chanels if she can call them "Mom." Understandably weirded out, Chanel #3 then launches into an explanation of how it's a current fad for girls with a lack of mother figures to latch onto other girls in a maternal way. They reluctantly grant her permission to do so and she's enthused.
• When Grace first spots the Red Devil, it seems like the show is going to do the typical horror movie shot where the villain disappears after other people walk in front of them. Except it's then subverted when we can still see the Red Devil running away after the other people pass.
• Pete breaking into Munsch's office. After carefully cutting a circle out of the glass, he noisily shatters the rest anyway while reaching through it.
• Munsch kicking Chad out after sex:
  Chad: I'm gonna call you.
  Munsch: As I can't destroy every phone on Earth, that'll remain a possibility.
  • And just before that:
  Munsch: Go take a psychology course, maybe find out where you got those mommy issues.
  Chad: ...I'm guessing my mother?

1x03: Chainsaw

• The university's new mascot: Coney, who's basically a walking ice cream cone.
• Coney's death at the hands of the Red Devil. He puts up a good (and hilarious) fight, but loses when the Red Devil cuts off his head with a chainsaw.
• Chad stumbling onto the idea that Boone faked his death and tossing it aside as completely ludicrous.
• Denise accusing Zayday of being the Red Devil. Some of her logic is sound, such as there being two killers, giving Zayday an alibi during Tiffany and Shondell's murders. But most of it is ridiculous, like Zayday's tweet to Shonda Rhimes about how she would get away with murder (#CAHOOTS). But the kicker is when Denise pulls outside a chainsaw that she says she found under Zayday's bed. Zayday's defense? She got it from her grandma to replace the tasers that the university confiscated.
  • The kicker on the kicker? This works, and Denise lets her go.
• The Dickie Dollar Scholars' plan to call the Red Devil out and take him head on. They dress all in white, and with "Backstreet's Back" playing in the background, they walk down a random street with wooden baseball bats, smashing anything that's red (specifically, a fire hydrant and a car), figuring it belongs to the Red Devil. This works, but when the Red Devil (both of them) confront the frat, he has a chainsaw, which utterly decimates them.
• Chanel #5's reaction to Hester's makeover by Chanel.
• Munsch's "white noise" machine with various loud and terrifying sounds. It includes such sounds as "distressed whale calls," "baboons fighting," "depressurizing air cabin," and "slasher movie."
• The Freeze-Frame Bonus shot of the 1995 student's report card:
  English: Obscure Shakespeare
  History: Doomed to Repeat Ourselves
  Art History: Art, Craft, or Design?
  English: E-Mail, It Is Gonna Be Big
  Studio Art: Slip Casting Mythical Creatures

1x04: Haunted House

• "Chanel-'o-ween", the opening scene of the episode which is a video in which Chanel parodies Taylor Swift by granting gifts to her Instagram followers who are having a rough time. But where Taylor gave genuine presents and kindhearted words, Chanel gives lovely gifts such as body parts, someone's head, and a razor apple with letters that are full of slight compliments. The kicker is how each girl reacts with happy tears and how amazing it is to receive it from her.
  Girl: (reading the letter that Chanel sent her with her gifts) "Heather. I hope this severed leg brightens up your trailer park."
• Chanel's reaction to one of the Chanels' pumpkin carving of Hurricane Joaquin.
  • And the dramatic zoom-in after Zayday announces her intentions to dispose Chanel.
• In the titular house, Denise asks to speak with Zayday out in the hallway and steps out. Zayday steps out in another direction...and Denise is suddenly right there.

1x05: Pumpkin Patch

• Chanel's recounting of a party her dad threw for her: he bought her a foreclosed McMansion for the party and filled the pool with a caviar slurry, before setting the house on fire at midnight. The fire department came, but were actually strippers. They put the fire out with champagne.
• Chad's totally unintelligent Rousing Speech after Dean Munsch announces she's closing down the campus for Halloween:
  Chad: I took a class last semester called "American Presidents" or something like that. And they taught us about a man named John Fitzpatrick Kennedy, Jr. And that dude wrote a book about the time he served in Vietnam called Profiles in Courage. Is that not what we are talking about right now? Courage? Halloween is the greatest night of the year. Greatest night. Because on this night, even kind of shy, kind of homely girls dress up like total sluts. I mean, every costume is just a slutty version of something. Slutty teacher, slutty nurse, slutty nun. I saw a girl last year dressed as slutty al-Qaeda. Are we gonna deny ourselves the sluttiest night of the whole year out of fear? Will you look at Caulfield? This dude got his arms sawed off; he's not hiding out. He is down to rage! [...] See, Halloween—it's a night for dudes with killer bods to walk around with our shirts off. And it's totally appropriate, as long as we call ourselves gladiators, Chippendales. As our great 60th president John Kennedy Jr. said, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." Well, in this case, serial murderers, too. But we are not afraid of either of those things, uh-uh. So canceling Halloween sucks. Thank you.
  • It's topped off with this reply from Dean Munsch:
    Dean Munsch: I have no idea how you got into this college.
    (Chad replies with a wink)
  • There's also Wes shaking his head as if in pain listening to all this.
• Chanel's idea for the Chanels' group costumes: the wives of assassinated presidents. Chanel #3 convinces her to let her open the idea up to wives of presidents who were nearly assassinated.
• Denise tells everyone to help her carry stuff to rescue Zayday. Grace, Wes, and Gigi all stay behind a bit to discuss Grace catching the other two in bed together, until an irritated Denise comes back and tells them to get moving.

1x06: Seven Minutes in Hell

• When the Red Devil appears while some of the Dickie Dollar Scholars are climbing into Chanel's room, a panicking Chad tosses his baseball bat out of the window. Followed by Chanel's satellite phone.
• Chad passionately explaining the rules of Truth or Dare to Jennifer.
  • This only happens because Jennifer points out that if someone was asked if they were Red Devil after picking 'Truth', they could just lie and say they weren't.
  Chad: Um, it's not "Truth or Dare or Lie," it's "Truth or Dare."
• The pink nun-chucks that Chanel gives the sisters at the end.
  • Chanel #3 licking one of the nun-chucks.
  • Chanel #5 gently bops herself on the forehead with hers.

1x07: Beware of Young Girls

• When using the Ouija Board to call Chanel #2, the Chanels find this dubious. So, to prove it right, Chanel ask it if Chanel #5's vagina has teeth, much to her shock. Make it more fun that the answer is yes.
  Chanel: I love this thing.
  • Later, Hester asking how much menstrual tampons she has. Nine.
    Chanel: Why do you have NINE tampons? How big is your cooch?!
• After Chanel #2's spirit days that Chad is cheating on her, Chanel storms into his room and finds him in bed with a goat. He claims that he's lactose intolerant and he needs to relax Randy (the goat's name) before he can milk her to get the lactose-free milk he needs. Chanel bits this explanation, and they're about to have sex when Chad says he has to milk Randy first.
• Chanel's minions planning to kill her. #5 wants to put poison in her bras and Hester plans to give her a bowl of sugar filled with crushed diamond at a sugar party in spite of being very solid. Of course, Chanel #3 agrees with the last one.
  • When the "sugar party" idea is suggested, #5 thinks it's ridiculous - claiming she's never even heard of a party where people sit around eating bowls of sugar. Naturally when Chanel comes into the room and is asked about a sugar party?
  Chanel: You mean one of those parties where everyone sits around eating bowls of sugar? Yeah, I love those.
• While Grace investigates with Pete at Dean Munsch ex-husband's house, we met an important discovery that Catwoman is not Pete's mother when he carefully cut a circle in a one of the house's window which shatters instantaneously. Their reactions are priceless, too.
• When Chanel #2's spirit appears to warn Chanel that the others are planning to kill her, she states that the only reason she's doing so is to get promoted out of Hell, because it sucks—sure, there are water slides, but they're full of razor blades, and they lead into pools of boiling pee. Also, there are no dinosaurs, because Jesus apparently broke in and stole them all.

1x08: Mommie Dearest

• Hester's awkward clues of Zayday and Grace's murdering. Thanks to pills.
  Hester: Those who pill together kill together.
  Chanel: No one, in all of human history, has ever said that.
  • Chanel #5's hypothesis which reveal Zayday's dark secret: Her name is an anagram for "I may slay Liz Daw."
    Chanel: All of these clues are terrible!
• The killers apparently ran out of Red Devil costumes, because when they go after Munsch, the third one is wearing a costume of Antonin Scalia.
  • When beating up the killer in the Scalia costume, Munsch takes the time to get in a few digs at Scalia's conservative views.
• Boone completely unaware his "disguise" at a gym makes him look like Joaquin Phoenix.
  • And he even signs an autograph, but spells his name as "Wakeen Fenix."
• Chanel mentions her family: A mother named "Happy," a brother named "Harvard," and a sister named "Muffet." Evidently, Chanel was spared from her family's chain of terrible names.

1x09: Ghost Stories

• The Chanels' first scene in the episode, demonstrating once again just how stupid Chanel truly is, with her arrogantly boasting about how she's dressed as Sacagawea in honor of Thanksgiving... before the other Chanels' confusion reveals she's (somehow) gotten Sacagawea mixed up with Pocahantas and Squanto. When she finally realizes her mistake, she bemoans her accidentally dressing as Fag Hag on Louis and Clarke's gay road trip.
• The other Chanels' toasts about Chanel spending Thanksgiving at the Radwell Family compound. #5 being half-cool, half totally scared. #6 grunting through a freaky smile. Then, #3 just, just didn't give a shit about the whole.
• Denise trying to convince the murderer to not drown her in the water of the toilet.
  Denise: I just got my hair done!
• Chad telling Chanel he chose to minor in Luggage Sciences "with an emphasis on Packing Theory."
• Hester's deliciously hammy response to the Chanels busting her for faking her pregnancy:
  Hester: Fine, you got me. I'm not pregnant. But it doesn't matter, because Chad still thinks that I am, and being that he already purchased our first-class airfare to the Hamptons, that means that I'll be the one attending Thanksgiving, where I'll have ample opportunity to get pregnant ALL WEEKEND LONG! (storms out the room)
  • Chanel screeching "I'LL KILL YOU, NECKBRACE!" before shrieking and storming after Hester in the funniest way imaginable. Though it stops being funny a minute later.
• The priceless reactions of Zayday, Grace, and Munsch to how the police have been working under the theory the Red Devil is a ghost.
• The reaction to Dean Munsch revealing that twins were born in that tub long ago.
  Grace: I knew it!
  Munsch: Congratulations on making this moment all about you.

1x10: Thanksgiving

• Chanel's speech, to protect Chanel #6, towards the Radwell family is at the same time heartwarming, awesome, and funny.
  Chanel: I'm sorry that you had to sit through the most mean-spirited game of Pictionary in the history of Pictionary. I mean, no one deserves to be spoken to like that, particularly not by what is, without a doubt, the most awful family in America. Chad, your leathery excuse for a mother looks like an ostrich-hide clutch from last season that somehow learned to talk. And Mr. Radwell, I have never seen anyone spend so much money to make a house look this tacky. I've honestly seen more tasteful décor at a Sizzler. And you, Thad, have a bright future ahead of you in the sex offender wing of a super-max prison. And you, sir, give the kind, hard-working, deeply-moral people who work in such a wonderful industry as Hollywood a bad name. And, Chad Radwell, whatever we had between us is over. I am walking out that door and never speaking to you again.
• The defense given about being Boone's father?
  Wes: It's not out of the question. I was a man-slut, back in the day. And it was the 90's so nobody wore condoms.
  Munsch: Trust me.

1×11: Black Friday

• The Kappas deduce that Dean Munsch is the Red Devil. Grace agrees with Chanel that they should kill her.
  Grace: Chanel...I can honestly say that, for once, I actually agree with you. I also think that Dean Munsch is the killer.
  Chanel: Thank you, Talking Pumpkin.
• How Chanel celebrates Black Friday: She bribes a security guard to let her into the store an hour before everyone else and, in front of the screaming throngs of people pounding on the doors to get in, she buys all of the hottest item on sale and leaves exactly one.
• Chanel's incredulous reaction to finding out that Denise has been made the new Chief of Police.
• Chanel #5 yelling at the poor sales lady for not complying with (or understanding) her request to have the underwear's tags swapped. The best part is when Chanel #3 and Hester jump in to 'defend' #5
  • Special mention must be made to Hester's attempt at defending #5 devolving into outright insulting her.
  Hester: Make her happy! She has nothing. She's a terrible person.Look at her. Give her something. Give her something to be happy!

1x12: Dorkus

• The line of the night goes to Grace's Take That! reaction to Pete's rationalizations for his actions:
  Grace: You're quoting Nietzsche? You're already a murderer, Pete. You don't have to be a douche as well!
• Wes having to "take one for the team."
  • Grace and Zayday working very hard to ignore the sounds of Wes "distracting" Dean Munsch.
• Chanel's long and delightfully-detailed "The Reason You Suck" Speech e-mail to the other Kappas for not showing up at the pool in the previous episode.
  Attention all useless Kappa sluts.

  Congratulations. If you're reading this, it means you've overcome the limitations of your tiny manatee brains and opened an e-mail. Now, if you're asking yourself "Derr, wait, I'm confused. Is Chanel talking to me? Am I a useless Kappa slut?", simply ask yourself the following question aloud...

  "Is my name Chanel #3, Chanel #5, Chanel #6 or Zayday Williams?"

  Because if the answer to that is yes, then felicitations, this missive is for you.

  So, do you all remember when we agreed to meet at the campus pool and kill the dean, and I got you all awesome new phones, so that when it came time to meet, the phone would light up a certain color, and when it did, you didn't even have to answer it, you just had to come meet at the aforementioned pool?

  And then do you remember not coming to the pool, despite me making it super-easy for you by concocting a plan so simple that an orangutan could have figured it out?

  Like, literally, a circus ape of moderate intelligence could have looked down at the phone sticking out of the single pocket in the front of his comical lederhosen and seen it light up and used his short little legs to waddle over to his tiny, motorized Shriner's car and driven to the pool like I asked.

  Do you remember any aspect of this super-simple plan?

  That's not a rhetorical question.

  I'm literally asking if your tiny slut brains have the power to process any of my super-simple orangutan-level instructions.

  Because what I remember is that none of you showed up, which meant I had to sit at that stupid pool by myself, like a grade-A ass-hat, with a bag full of enormous chains to drown Dean Munsch with and then have a super-awkward convo with her where I was like, "Oh, derr, I just like bringing enormous chains to pools," and I looked like a total div.

  I don't entirely know what you whores could have been doing that was more important than helping your chapter president drown a serial killer, but unless that thing you were doing was getting enemas of pure liquid gold at a new local establishment called Liquid Gold Colonics for Young Sluts, like if you were doing literally anything else, you all should seriously consider doing the human race a favor and getting sterilized.

  I'm not being facetious.

  I literally think you should consider undergoing a surgical procedure to remove your ovaries, thereby sparing human race exposure to your DNA.

  You four trollops are the worst specimens of human beings ever born, and you all should really watch your backs, because if this serial killer targeting Kappa House doesn't chop off your heads, I'm going to do it!

  So I can sell your tiny whore brain-pans to science.

  Sincerely, Chanel Oberlin.
• Chanel and #3 debating what horror movie character the disfigured Melanie Dorkus reminds them of. Right in front of her.

1x13: Final Girl(s)

• Hester going as far as to contact Chanel #5's parents to get them to help corroborate that she was adopted in order to frame her as the bathtub baby. And apparently they had actually been considering doing something similar even before she contacted them, because even they can't stand their daughter!
  • Hiring commercial actors to stand in as her own parents. Zayday recognizes one and makes him perform a line from a commercial for a prostate drug.
  • Hester uses #3's correspondence with her alleged biological father Charles Manson against her. Chanel #3 tells everyone that it's true that she's been writing him to seek advice on her personal problems, but all of his advice amounts to "maybe you should kill all your sorority sisters."
• Chanel attempting to flee from the police while declaring "You'll never take me alive!"
• When Denise is arresting Chanel #5, she tells her she has the right to remain silent, and then in the same aggressive tone admits that she can't remember the other Miranda Rights, so everyone will just have to pretend that she said them.
• Dean Munsch reveals she remembers the baby in the bathtub as "seared in my memory like Joe Theisman's injury or 2 Girls, 1 Cup."
• After being framed for all the murders by Hester, the Chanels are about to receive a verdict when Chanel objects because the jury is quite clearly not one of her peers, as they are not all hot, skinny young girls. This causes the head of the jury to switch the verdict from "not guilty" to "guilty."
  • The judge revealing that Chanel had opted to defend herself, with her entire defense consisting of screaming that she hadn't killed anyone and threatening to kill the jury if they found her guilty. And somehow she still would've gotten a "not guilty" verdict if she'd just kept her mouth shut for a few seconds.
  • Chanel #3 apparently slept through the entire trial.
• Denise has bolstered the depleted police force by deputizing male strippers that she has dressed in cop costumes.
  • The Time Skip reveals that Denise and Chad pursued a serious relationship, only for it to end in tears when she left him to join the FBI.
  • The Time Skip also has Chad establish a charitable foundation in memory of the murdered Dickie Dollar Scholars...only to be caught off-guard by the fact that when someone establishes a charity, they also have to specify a charity to donate to.
  • The Mood Whiplash of Hester and Dean Munsch having a tense conversation about whether Munsch should turn Hester in for the murders, then cheerily urging each other to take care when she decides not to.
  • The memorial to the Red Devils' victims lists Chanel #2 and Deaf Taylor Swift by those nicknames rather than their real names.
    • Also, Munsch let Chad write the inscription, which she acknowledges was a mistake.
    To our fellow students, we are super-sorry that you are dead. We didn't know all of you that well, but some of you were hot. I always wanted to have sex with a deaf girl.

Season 2

2x01: Scream Again

• Zayday's scream when she reacquaint with the Chanels. No, not the Squeeee!. She screamed like it was the most horrific thing she has ever seen.
• Hester actually confessed her crimes in front of a camera because she was thinking that as the Chanels were convicted before for her crimes, she couldn't be convicted. She was wrong.
  Hester: It's double jeopardy!
  Denise: It's single jeopardy!
  • After that, she tries to leave the room by hitting the locked door.
• One of the message over the speaker is about Chamberlain Jackson and his magic cart.
• During Brock's shower, the song "The Look" by Roxette is heard as a soundtrack. However, it seems like that Chanel #3 heard that song too.
• Munsch told to the Chanels that "ghosting" is to stand still and saying nothing, but the trio didn't agree and gave others definitions until they all agree that "ghosting" has a lot of meaning. Later Catherine ask why the three girls are so silent and she is told that they are "ghosting", to which she replied that it doesn't mean that.
• Zayday explaining to Catherine (the "werewolf" lady) the "brain-derived neurotrophic factor", during that she showed her pictures of the treatment, one of them is a drill.
  Catherine: You want to give me a lobotomy?!
• Chanel calling Catherine Sasquatch, Hairy Mary and Chewbacca.
• When Catherine Hobart was cured and all her hair fell out.
  Catherine: I look like a cancer patient!
  Chanel #5: No! You look like a large baby!
• Chanel #5 yelling at kids and parents to shut up.
  • She was also thinking that the nurses were ghosts.
• Hilarious in Hindsight, Oberlin said that Chanel #5 had stopped taking her meds. Later #5 told Catherine that insane people used to took bath in a really hot tub before taking herself a bath.
• Any time Cassidy Cascade (played by Taylor Lautner) referenced something to the Twilight Saga or gave Zayday or anyone a weird speech in a serious tone.

2x02: Warts and All

• Despite how scary the Green Meanie is, Chanel #5 mistakes their costume as a large plant.
• Dean Munsch asked #5's investigator if she has graduated high school to become a detective. She didn't.
• Chanel #5's fundraising video.
  • Later two guys are making fun of her boyfriend Tyler, a guy who suffers from of a lot of zit-like tumors on his skin, which made her freak out and start beating them up.
  Chanel #5:I'm sorry... Sometimes I tend to overreact a little bit since I stopped taking my meds.
• One of the things Hester wants in exchange for information about the serial killer is several beauty products, like Lab Systique's SUPER "M" age-defying face serum or a bottle of Sergio Jergoni's Luminoquintessence Color Control Brightening Moisturizer. Denise Hemphill's answer? A Chapstick.

2x03: Handidates

• The hospital's newest patient is a woman who constantly has uncontrollable orgasms. She talks of how it ruined her life, especially as her husband left her as "he realized I was faking mine all along."
• Cassidy is convinced he died in college after choking to death on his own puke, never considering the possibility he might have just passed out.
  • Chanel #3 is the one who suggests he died after choking; Cassidy just stated that he woke up dead, and the dialogue suggests that he may not have considered that.
• Chanel talks about her special cream from China which is made of "either panda sperm or the remains of political prisoners."
• Chanel asks Chanel #3 and Zayday to be her Bridesmaids, and then asks Chanel #5 to be......the ring-bearer.
  • She also insists that Chanel #5 dress up like a dog. We see her later at the wedding wearing a dog collar.

2x04: Halloween Blues

• Chanel taking the time to change into a Jackie Kennedy outfit to mourn Chad properly.
• Chanel attacking the Radwell's lawyer in slow motion, like an animal. Must be seen to be believed.
• The return of "Chanel-O-Ween" as Chanel sends her fans bags of fat, torn-out hearts and more. They're followed by Chanel going to openly tell one disabled girl she completely loathes her amid insulting so many of her fans. Naturally, they cry in joy and take this as a massive compliment and how much Chanel loves them.
  • Hilariously, the messages she gives people are much more vicious than last year. Chanel isn't even trying to be a Bitch in Sheep's Clothing this time around, and outright states that she's trying to tell people that she hates them.
  • The reactions of the video. The fans accept the insults and agree with them. One fan is crying Tears of Joy and telling Chanel that she loves her, agreeing that she is garbage. The only person in the video who isn't happy is one fan's little sister, who seems disturbed by the gifts Chanel has given out.
• Chanel #5 tries to cheer Chanel #1 up about her skin turning blue by telling her that she'll at least have an easier time making her costume. Chanel #5 says that Chanel could dress up as a blueberry or Smurfette, Chanel #3 suggests a 'really bummed out mood ring.' Chanel screams at them to leave her alone.
• Chanel compares Ivanka Trump to "the Chelsea Clinton of an alternate universe where Hitler won the Second World War."
• Brock's Halloween costume.
  Brock: I'm the script for Batman V. Superman.
  Denise: You look like a bloody mess.
  Brock: Exactly.
• The sheer amount of hysterics Chanel goes through in the beginning of the episode. Highlights include freaking out #5 when she tries to get Chanel to calm down, and shrieking that "TODAY IS MY DAY!!"

2x05: Chanel Pour Homme-Icide

• A bloodied Chanel #5 was laying on the floor and smiling at her friends who come to help her... Well, she was rather thinking that until all of them ignore her and prefer checking on Denise.
  Chanel: Can you maybe let us all have two minutes that isn't about you?
  • After that, everyone heard a scream and follow it. Thus leaving Libby still wounded and alone.
• The simple idea that a diplomatic corps interpreter has a Foreign Accent Syndrome which make her unable to land a single accent.
  Chanel #3: In the last ten minutes, you've done Texan, Austrian, Norwegian, Vietnamese, Algerian, Botswanan, Tajik and something that sort of sounded like Bernie Sanders.
  • Following this, her ailment seems to have gone viral, which make Brock having a Scottish accent, Sadie had an Irish one and Cassidy speaking like the son of an Irishman and a Canadian mother.
    • At one moment, Chanel #3 assumed that Madonna has the same ailment. Later, they discover that their condition was due to Madonna Syndrome.
• #3 comments that the woman has gone through several accents, yet not one of them has been a racist stereotype. The interpreter then slips into an exaggerated Indian accent, making #3 retract her statement.
• This exchange between Hester and Chanel.

  Chanel: What is wrong with you?

  Hester: I'm psychotic and a sociopath.

  Audience: No really?

  Hester: I'm also allergic to gluten.
• When Munsch had recruited new pledges to join the Chanels, one of them is named #11, and she had eleven fingers.
• Most of Zayday and Chanel #5's interactions throughout the episode, particularly this moment after finding out that the baby's father was black and thus Chamberlain is still a prime suspect
  Zayday: You realize what this means, right?
  Chanel #5: Of course I don't.
• Chanel #5 immeditalely accusing the pregnant lady from the flashbacks of being the serial killer, including killing her husband and covering it up, based on absolutely nothing. Even funnier? She might have been right!
• According to Chanel #3, Chanel can hear #5's screams from miles away, because she's drawn to her suffering like "a shark to blood." Number Three also claims that Chanel has developed an addiction to hearing it.
• Chanel's idea to recruit minions to do all the work she doesn't want to do, along with acting as Cannon Fodder to keep her safe. She ends up recruiting 5 new Chanels, bringing the total number up to 11.

2x06: Blood Drive

• Chanel #5 being O Negative, and being used as a "blood cow," by Chanel and Zayday. It's mentioned that she's given fifteen pints of blood.
  • In addition, Chanel and Zayday refuse to give her a snack or some juice. Libby even asks one of the new Chanels for a bite of their sandwich- and the Chanel refuses. Chanel applauds this.
• The newer Chanels are very aware of their role as Cannon Fodder, but otherwise don't care. One of them even says that she doesn't care if she dies, because she was miserable before she came her, and at least now she can enjoy the perks that come with being a Chanel.

2x07: The Hand

• The psychological test #3 arranges has legitimate questions to determine someone's psychology. It also has questions about flirting she lifted from Cosmo.
• Chanel #10 excitedly tells her mother that she's a Chanel. She admits that she isn't sure what it means, only that it means she gets to go shopping and be a bitch to everyone.
• Brock's hand dumping hand fulls of salt into the meal he's cooking for his date with Chanel.
• Chanel #5 suggests that Chanel and Chanel #3 dump Brock and Cassidy (for, respectively having the out of control hand of a serial killer and being a Green Meanie) so that that three can stop worrying about being murdered and go back to the good old days where they bonded over mutual affection and humor.

  Chanel #3:It was never like that. That sounds awful.

• Chanel fainting while witnessing the surgery is hilarious when one remembers all the (gory) deaths she's witnessed prior to this- including one (or two, if one is counting Hester) that she caused.

2x08: Rapunzel, Rapunzel

• Brock tries to bond with Chanel over Series/MASH.
  Brock: Most popular show in television history?
  Chanel: I think you mean Boy Meets World.
• Chanel tries to bond with "Brock's generation" by throwing a themed dinner party. Brock shows up to find the girls dressed up...like World War II.
  Brock: How old do you think I am?
  Chanel: God, I have no idea! You could be forty or sixty, it's hard to tell!
• Wes shares how Grace lost her mind because of what happened to the Chanels, so out of her mind that...she sided with Katy Perry over Taylor Swift.
  • Wes explains that Grace is in Stanford...mental institution: "You have to score a 90 percent to get in."
    • Wes also makes a couple of nods to Grace's hat obsession.

2x09: Lovin' The D

• Chanel walks in on Nurse Hoffel pouring peanut oil into the hospital'/ bathtub, after they have a brief talk in which Hoffel convinces Chanel to stay at the hospital, Chanel declines trying out the "moisturizing oil bath," saying

  Chanel: I have some bad memories with oil.

  • Keep in mind, she's saying this (unknowingly) to Miss Bean's sister!
• The Chanels are attacked in the hospital, and when two of the Green Meanies (Wes and Hoffel) corner Chanel, they '''fight over who gets to kill her''' allowing her to get away.
• Chanel #5 briefly attempting to impersonate Doctor Lovin before Chanel stops her.
• The Last Words Wes chooses? "Playlist."
• The "Green Meanie Summit" where we finally find out who killed whom as each of the Meanies list their kills as Hester takes photos off a board.
  • The best bit is a bell ringing with each confessed murder.
  • And how the Meanies use their "scores" to argue on who gets to kill the Chanels.
  Hester: This is a murder summit! If you're not going to kill anyone, you can't take the picture!

2x10: Draining the Swamp

• Hoffel finally tells the Chanels how she's seeking revenge for them killing Miss Bean (her sister) back in season 1...only to find the Chanels honestly don't even remember the incident.
  • Dean Munsch gives a hilarious "oh, for..." moan and when Hoffel tells them about killing a maid in a deep fryer, they unison "oooooh..." as if going ''that'' maid!"
• Waking from her cryogenic sleep, Denise complains about missing Hillary being elected President. Everyone else shares looks of "I'm not gonna tell her..."
• Chanel and Number Five arguing over whether Chanel pouring hot coffee on Munsch's open brain will kill her.

  Chanel: This is a pipin' hot pumpkin spice latte. Once Munsch's head is sawed open and her brain is exposed, I'm gonna throw this pumpkin spice latte into her open brain.

  Chanel #5: Wait, what?

  Chanel: I'm gonna throw this latte into her open brain.

  Chanel #5:I heard you, but why?

  Chanel: It'll kill her!

  Chanel #3: Will it?

  Chanel:(scoffs) Of course it will.

  Chanel #5:Um, I'm not... I'm not sure that it will. I mean, it might scald a layer of brain tissue, but I don't think it'll leave any lasting damage. Plus, she won't even feel it. So it'll maybe scald, like, a tiny little section of her brain and then it'll heal right away.

  Chanel:Are you kidding me, Number Five? It's not "doing someone a favor" to pour really scalding, super-delicious pumpkin spice latte into their open brain.

  Chanel #5: It is, if it's actually scalding. Just the fact that it's scalding means that any bacteria would be killed instantly. What you should do is get one at room temperature and leave it out for a couple of days until it spoils, and then pour it on her open brain.

  Chanel: Okay, well, the surgery is happening right now, Number Five, so we don't have three days.

  • After her attempt fails, Chanel is shoved out of the room, despite her protests of being an innocent patsy.
• When Libby questions the morals of Chanel going through Brock's phone, Chanel and Sadie claim that doing so is just part of a relationship, and insist that Libby's obvious lack of understanding how relationships work ''must'' be why her boyfriends keep getting murdered.
• When Zayday is revealed to be alive to the others, Dean Munsch begins to express happiness at seeing her until Zayday cuts her off pointing out the no one had looked for her and lampshades how the cast treat most of the dead as the Forgotten Fallen Friend.

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