Funny / Scorpion

1x 01 "Pilot"

• As Walter is driving back to the office, he hears a radio contest with a particular...flaw in it.
  Radio Host: If you're sick of being broke, for 183 dollars, which month has 28 days?
  Walter: All of them.
  Call In: I actually know this one...um, February?
  Radio Host: We have a winner!
  Walter: Idiots.
  • Our introduction to the issues of Team Scorpion: Sylvester's forgotten to pay the rent. Happy has assaulted their last boss and Toby was doing shady things with their last payment.
    Happy: 'Kay, it's cool. I finished the Linwood job and Toby's picking up the fee.
    Walter: Toby? Why not you?
    Happy: I built the contractor an automated conveyance system and he called me sugar, so I hit him in the mouth.
    Walter: And Toby is where exactly?
    [Cut to Toby frantically running away from a car chasing him down the street]

1x 07 "Father's Day"

• At the beginning of the episode, Walter is conducting an experiment with a mouse, whom he has navigate a mouse maze. However, the mouse stubbornly tries to exit the maze. Calling it "difficult and stubborn", Walter decides to name the mouse Cabe, Jr.

1x 10 "Talismans"

• Happy's reaction to the group finding her piggybacking on Toby after hurting her ankle.
  Happy: None of you saw this.

1x 13 "Kill Screen"

• "Kill Screen" reveals that Sylvester was a game pro, and Toby manages to find an old video of him doing a victory dance.

1x 15 "Forget Me Nots"

• The agent hiring Cabe's team refuses to tell them anything about the job they're doing, but somehow still expects them to do their job. He shows them code with redacted sections, telling them to "just push buttons" and demands they magically tell him who to look for. Walter sits down and, with only a few keystrokes, deactivates all redaction. From a brief look at the redacted code, they know what's really going on and start half a conversation, estimating the missing information aloud while Toby reads his facial expression to see what they get right. Within seconds, they work out that the U.S. government has illegal nuclear launch facilities in Iceland that are being hacked into. Walter suggests that the agent stop stonewalling to save the couple of minutes it would take them to extrapolate the rest of the classified information before they are willing to take on the job. He does.
• When he's wrongfully arrested in Las Vegas, Walter tells Paige not to worry, he can handle this. She expects a brilliant defense of some sort...and instead Walter flatly says that he has to be let go because he's promised a trial by his peers and there's no way they can find 12 people in this county as smart as he is. The judge immediately has him remanded to jail, Walter honestly baffled as Paige just slaps her head.

1x 18 "Once Bitten Twice Die"

• Paige's night school courses in European History let her figure out the poison used, and she quickly rattles off the historical backstory to explain her reasoning.
  NSA Director Merrick: ...And now we're listening to the waitress, too?
  (Without missing a beat) Walter: Are we judging people by their previous resumes? Because you worked as a Department Store Santa to pay for college.
  • The utterly flabbergasted look on Merrick's face makes it even better. Same with Cabe showing signs of a well-hidden smirk.
• And another for the episode: the secret political summit is taking place in the estate where one of Cabe's favourite Western movies was filmed. He chases the ep's bad guy through the preserved 'Main street' set. First he shoots the saloon sign - the swinging sign takes out the bad guy! Then Cabe moseys up like a boss... and quotes the movie's hero. Fanboy brilliance.

2x 01 "Satellite of Love"

• Walter's reaction to Paige's confession that she kissed him is to simply drop his papers in shock.
  • Later in the episode, it's revealed that Walter hacked the hospital cameras to see the kiss. Toby then comments that Walter probably wants the meteor to come down now.
• A lawyer trying to convince Walter to take a plea bargain for the car crash case on terms of emotional distress. Walter, naturally being emotionless, is not helping.

2x 05 "Super Fun Guys"

• Pretty much all of "Super Fun Guys" - the guy who sets up the plot says it all when he sees the Team Shot of Scorpion all dressed in bright spandex;
  Nuclear Terrorist: I can’t believe I got caught by you people.

2x 12 "Dam Breakthrough"

• Toby, Cabe, and Happy's Helium Speech rendition of "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer", made even funnier by Cabe's completely straight face and Jadyn Wong visibly Corpsing at the end.
  • Even better is how it all happens; Toby takes a breath and sings the first line. Cabe comes over, looking like he's about to tell Toby to quit screwing around, then takes the nozzle and sings the next line. Happy comes over with an expression that screams, "you're both idiots!" and does the finale.
• When Toby comes up with a solution, stating that the dam "needs a colonoscopy!"
  Toby: Okay, imagine a colonoscope with spinning blades on the end...
  Cabe: I would rather not.

2x 16 "Fractured"

• Toby and Walter go to an unconventional couple's therapist. One scene with them opens in the middle of them trying to harmonize to More Than Words by Extreme as an exercise. Later in the episode the two are injured and put aside their issues, strapping their wounded legs together so they can limp along on each other's healthy legs while the team can hear them on comms singing the song again as they work together. They assume the pair have lost it from the stress of the situation.
  Paige: Wait a minute, I think Walter and Toby are saying something. This might be important.
  Walter and Toby: (singing)
  Paige: They have lost their minds.
  Happy: Hey, geniuses, you're supposed to vent the gas, not inhale it.
  • In the same episode, Sylvester and Ralph steal a lifeguard truck in order to get to a nearby pumping station to shut off a gas valve in order to keep gas from spreading to an already burning section of LA. After helping a couple who had a tree fall onto their car, Sylvester and Ralph create a makeshift ramp so they can jump over the tree with the truck. The funny part about this scene? Sylvester stepped on his glasses and broke them earlier in the episode, leading to Ralph attaching water wings to his own feet so he can drive the truck and ramp over the tree. As Ralph launches the truck over the tree, Sylvester is freaking out and screaming hysterically in the passenger seat while Ralph is sitting in the driver's seat all excited and having the time of his life.
  • Sylvester and Ralph's dialogue in the truck before ramping the tree makes this scene even better.
    Sylvester: Okay... Hands at 10 and 2?
    Ralph: Check!
    Sylvester: Seatbelt on?
    Ralph: Check!
    Sylvester: Eyes focused on the ramp?
    Ralph: Check!
    Sylvester: Don't tell your mother...
    Ralph: Check!
    [Sylvester nods as he and Ralph fist bump.]
  • Likewise, their interaction with the couple they were rescuing had similarly humorous overtones when Ralph took the lead in the in the rescue operation.
    Man:Are you sure he knows what he's doing?
    Sylvester: Absolutely. He's first in his class.
    Man: *incredulous* Where elementary school?
    Sylvester: Actually, Cal Tech *beat* and elementary school.

2x 24 "Toby or Not Toby"

• When the team are about to take "the company car" to find Toby:
  Walter: I seem to have missed the vote where my car became the company car.
  Sly (puzzled) Wouldn't have mattered if YOU voted. It was a landslide.
  Walter's face is a picture.

3x 01 "Civil War"

• Happy proposes to solve the Problem of the Week with a studfinder.

  Toby: You know I can't use those, they always go off...
  Paige: You've told that joke before!

• Toby tells Happy how he feels about her revelation last episode. As he starts yelling, the hacked F22 the gang are dealing with goes overhead, drowning out what is clearly an extensive rant about the state of his heart, complete with gestures. As the plane disappears, his rant finishes:

  Toby: ... That even the dog doesn't want any more, even though he ate it in the first place!

3x 03 "It Isn't the Fall that Kills You"

• Walter in the space shuttle, hallucinating from hypoxia. First he finds Paige in a compartment in the floor. Then he's wearing a tuxedo, Paige is wearing her black dress from "True Colors," and they start dancing as Walter flirts with uncharacteristic smoothness, leading to kissing. The scene cuts back and forth between his view of things, and what it looks like for the team watching on the monitor as Walter bobs around in zero-G, talking to thin air and kissing his hand.

  Toby: If Walter knew we were seeing this, he'd choose to remain in space.

• When Paige arrives, Toby realises she can get through to Walter and make him pull a lever to get more oxygen. Her first move is to chase everyone out.

  Toby: Why? What if you need our help?
  Paige: This is a private conversation between me and Walter. Everybody out. Clock's ticking, let's go! You too, Happy, I can hear you over the mics!
  Happy: Dammit!

3x 05 "Plight at the Museum"

• After an episode of being obsessively fussed over by Toby, a pregnant Happy finally tells him she could really go for a specific kind of pie from a particular diner... forty-three miles away. Toby charges away, and Happy admits to Paige that what she really wants is a couple of hours' peace.
• Before he can leave, however, an agent from INS arrives to inform Walter and Happy that she's responsible for gauging the validity of their marriage in preparation for Walter gaining citizenship. And she is mighty suspicious, partly because they've lived apart for the whole marriage. Long and short of it is, the episode ends on Walter and Happy uncomfortably sharing a bed, with Toby in a sleeping bag on the floor.

3x 08 "Mother Load"

Cabe: *flashes badge* On behalf of the U.S. Government, I'm commandeering your churro cart and all of its cooking oil!

• And not even a minute later:

  Cabe: *flashes badge* On behalf of the U.S. Government, I'm commandeering this Super Fun Guy balloon!

• Sylvester is informed that it's for the best that he's not there to witness what happens to the Super Fun Guy balloon: it has a nuclear reactor about to melt down strapped to its underside and is used to float it into the sea. Once it's been pointed in the general direction, Tim gets it to set off by shooting it in the butt.
• When Paige is spitting angry about her mother's presence, Toby drags her outside to talk in private. Paige gives Toby twenty dollars to invoke doctor/ patient privilege, to which Toby replies that he'd treat anything she said as confidential regardless, before realising what he's doing and just pocketing the money. Good thing too, because it turns out Paige has a lot to say about her mother.
  Toby: [Lying, exhausted, on a crate] Twenty dollars is not worth this.

3x 10 "Wreck the Halls"

• Happy had agreed to campaign with Sylvester in exchange for making her a Christmas gift for Toby. What does this entail? Happy dressing up like an elf while Sylvester hands out campaign flyers dressed as Santa Claus. When they reach the cabin Scorpion is spending the holidays, Toby sees the elf costume and asks Happy to keep it for the honeymoon.

  Happy: Really? This does it for you?
  Toby: I'm as surprised as you are.

• Later, after Scorpion has tied up the bad guys, Tim gives them a warning.

  Tim: Any of you feel froggy, before you jump think about this: I'm a pissed-off ex-Navy SEAL, and even I'm scared of her.
  Happy: (Dramatic Gun Cock)

3x 11 "Ice-ca-Cabes"

• The team need hydrogen sulfide as part of a complicated kitbashed medical procedure to save Cabe. Good news; hot springs just minutes away. Bad news; private property. Good news; they're not being denied entrance, it's just that it's a nudist hot spring, meaning the only way they're going in is if they strip naked themselves.
  Paige: You want to save Cabe? Nude up, genius boy.
  • Better yet, collecting the hydrogen sulfide involves standing waist-deep in one such spring - in front of onlookers - and electrolyzing the water. This causes the water to roil and bubble continuously as it releases a noxious gas. That's a looot of setup for the geekiest fart joke ever.
  • Then the others learn about it at the end of the episode. Toby has a field day with it when offering to get them dinner.
    Toby: Hey, Walter, Paige, can I get you guys anything? Melons and sausages? Cantaloupes and wieners?
    Paige: I will kill you.
    Toby: Tater tots and salami?
    Paige: (throws a tissue box at Toby)
    Walter: It's very amusing.
    Cabe: I had to die for an hour to finally get some peace and quiet from you guys.

3x 16 "Keep it in Check, Mate"

• Walter and Sylvester must infiltrate a chess tournament to pass a code phrase to a spy. The two have a bitter chess rivalry and must win the two wild card spots to enter. Cue a montage of them prepping by taping up fingers, using rosin bag on finger tips, moving piece back and forth rapidly all to 'You're the Best Around' by Joe Espisito.
  • Explaining why Walter and Sylvester don't play chess any more, Toby shows the gang what they've always thought was a coat hook in one of the pillars. In fact, it's a coat rook, embedded there after Sylvester threw it at Walter's head after Walter's devious act of in-game sabotage; sneezing on Sylvester's knight.
    • Walter tries the same tactic again during the tournament, but Sylvester is prepared this time, having brought a glove.
    • In the final scene, they sit down for a rematch. Walter admits he did sneeze on Sylvester's piece on purpose. Sylvester flips the board over.
    • The Chess Vulture. That is all.

3x 17 "Dirty Seeds, Done Dirt Cheap"

• Ralph comes in to ask the guys about a problem he's having. Walter warns him they might not be of much help.
  Ralph: Two girls asked me to the Valentine's Day dance, and I don't know who to go with.
  Sylvester: We can't help you.
  • Walter's idea? Take both girls, and alternate dances with both of them. He describes this as the obvious, logical solution. Luckily, Ralph at least knows better than that.
  • Paige is upset that Ralph went to the guys with an emotional issue instead of her, and asks if they're planning to teach him to play football next.
    Walter: She was being sarcastic just then, right?
    Toby: No, she really thinks you should teach Ralph football.
    Walter: [To himself] More sarcasm...

3x 18 "Don't Burst My Bubble"

• At the end, the gang hold a Winter Formal for Ada, who attends via a VR headset with Toby acting as her stand-in. For this he wears a matching headset that sends footage to hers, and satin evening gloves over his arms. And he dances with Sylvester. Why couldn't Paige have been the stand-in? Because Rule of Funny, that's why.
  • Sylvester gets caught up in the moment and tries to dip him.
    Toby: Okay, I'm done. It's someone else's turn!
    Sylvester: Ssh! Don't ruin the fantasy!

3x 19 "Monkey See, Monkey Poo"

• The team have an idea how to catch the monkey that might have a cure for a brewing epidemic; someone has to smear themselves with a specific flower and do a bizarre mating dance that can only be described as "bowlegged twerking with eyebrow work" to attract the monkey to them. Toby gets volunteered.
  • Toby gets just a little too attached to the monkey afterwards.
• Happy making Toby come to couples' therapy... with the same therapist he and Walter were sent to previously. He's concerned that Toby has Happy on a pedastal, and gives him a "bicker clicker" to press whenever something happens that should trigger a fight, but doesn't because he won't criticise Happy. One click happens because she she criticised his hat.
• The team need to shake a massive tree to get at the fruit, causing a wave of deadly spiders that the team deal with by standing on rocks and electrifying the jungle floor. This stuns all the spiders but one; as they climb down from the rocks, Happy spots one last spider on Toby's T-shirt. She zaps him without a word, sending him flying backwards with the manliest of screams. Cue a very shaky clicker press.
  • YMMV if it's more or less funny when you consider that Toby didn't know he had a spider on him: Happy just zapped him without a word, probably so he wouldn't panic. So as far as Toby knows, the woman he loves just electrocuted him For the Evulz. No wonder he pressed the clicker!
• When Toby and Happy report back to the therapist, he notes that the clicker says 32 and says that's not so bad. Toby corrects him; the clicker reset at 99, so it's actually 131. In a day.

3x 22 "Strife on Mars"

• Walter's memories of his hallucinations of kissing Paige on the rocket resurface, and he confronts the other members of the team about it:

Walter: I kissed Paige on the rocket!
Beat
Happy: You should have kissed her on the lips.

• After Toby tries to pass it off as a sex dream:

Ralph: Gross.
Toby: No, it's very normal for adults. Happy has them about me all the time.
Happy: Gross!

• Sylvester's utter failure to be comforting as Walter tries to process what he's learned.

Sylvester: So you told someone you loved them! So you made out with your hand! Who cares?
Walter: I did what?
Sylvester: [Explains what Walter's recollection looked like to everyone at Mission Control]
Walter: [Walks away in silence, expression registering a whole new level of humiliation]

• Poor Abra-Cadabracus being far, far outmatched by Sylvester.

Toby: You just brought a knife to a gunfight...

3x 23 "Something Burrowed, Something Blew"

• Walter and Paige finally admit their feelings for each other, and sneak off to a supply closet... only to be discovered by everyone. Sylvester and Cabe's reactions are particularly good.
  Sylvester: Guys, Cabe wants to talk to—(gasps) BY THE SCEPTER OF RAVENSWOOD!
  Walter: CLOSE THE DOOR!
  Cabe: Sylvester, what's taking so long? (sees Walter and Paige) Well, it's about damn time!

3x 24 "Maroon 8"

• The team has just tried to signal an approaching ship while stranded on an island in a desperate attempt to launch a makeshift flare. Cabe is rather hopeful.
  Cabe: You really got it up there...
  • Cut to THREE WEEKS LATER... where everyone has gone native except for Cabe, who is still fully suited, groomed to a pedigree, and standing by the shore gazing out into the distance.
  Cabe: You really got it up there...
  • Sylvester going totally starkers and talking to a pet lizard named Mitchell while living in a Japanese bunker from World War II. He's also somehow managed to grow a full year's worth of beard in three weeks.
  • A major B-plot in the episode is that Walter and Paige have finally gotten together. Only Walter has never been in love with someone before, so he keeps trying to be romantic, calling Paige cute nicknames and praising her. Even Ralph, who wants Walter and Paige together, sounds like he's starting to get sick of it.
  • Throughout the episode, Happy keeps dropping various facts about her past. Facts which Toby, her new husband, had no idea about, including that she dated Jake Gyllenhaal and speaks Portuguese.
  Happy: 1) I had a life before I met you, and 2) I only learned the language so I could record my single.
  Toby: Record the what now?
  Happy: I've said too much.
  Paige: No, you said way too little.

3x 25 "Scorp Family Robinson"

• Sylvester remarks the only thing keeping him sane is his ability to journal the past few weeks on the island. Immediately afterward, his pen runs out of ink.
  Sylvester: SONOFA— (cue title sequence)
  • Toby and company discovering that Happy once moonlighted as a pop idol.
  • After Walter and Toby develop separate plans to escape the island which requires the radio from the bunker, only to learn that Sylvester, who has resigned himself to death, has hidden it to prevent further strife amongst the group. Sylvester will only give them the radio if the two groups agree to work together, which they promptly do... in the form of a common enemy in Sylvester. Toby and Cabe bum rush Sylvester, while Walter threatens to eat Mitchell.
  Toby: GIVE US THE DAMN RADIO!
  Sylvester: MUTINY! MUTINY!
  Walter: Hey! The radio or I eat Mitchell!
  Sylvester: NO!
  • And then Paige admits that Walter threatening to eat Mitchell was kind of hot.

4x 01 "Extinction"

• In the Season 4 premiere, Tony reveals that he's invented a new word, "gootie", referring to the male genitalia, and talks about how words enter the lexicon. Sure enough, the word appears Once an Episode throughout the season.
  • As they're prepping to go on their honeymoon, Toby and Happy are packing their car when Toby asks if they have the "accoutrements":
    Happy: You mean the outfits to stimulate your pervert mind?
    Toby: Yup.
    Happy: (smiling) Right here!
  • Toby has come up with two acronyms to define the terms and conditions of his marriage to Happy so they stay content: "PANNS" and "SCABOBI". The second one is actually nested into the first acronym at the end.
  • Walter getting a contact high off toxic underground gases being released and leaping on the team's SUV and busting into song and dance. Then realizing everyone else saw that and is wondering what the hell happened. Just to make things even funnier, he's still woozy when he learns the danger they pose to all of mankind and sings his Oh, Crap! line at the end of the first part's cliffhanger.
  Sylvester: This will start warming the Earth's atmosphere within hours... and then mass extinction...!!
  (Beat)
  Walter: ...♪ Not goo~~ood. ♪

4x 03 "Grow a Deer, a Female Deer"

• Scorpion is helping an anti-poaching charity when they discover a poacher nearly kill a pregnant deer. After the wound compromises the womb, Paige goes full Mama Bear and demands they save the deer. When Walter says it's impossible, Paige delivers an ultimatum:
  Walter: Paige, it's impossible.
  Paige: Walter. You ever want to see me naked again, you will figure this out.
  (Beat)
  Walter: You heard her, team! Let's save these deer!
  • During the C-section, Paige serves as Toby's assistant:
  Toby: Short-clamp. (Paige hands the short-clamp) A sponge. (Paige hands the sponge) Validation.
  Paige: No other doctor in the world could do this.
  Toby: That's just what I need to hear before removing this little one.
  • Toby keeps coming up with bad puns involving "womb".
  Toby: All right, look, these are the jokes, folks.

4x 05 "Sci Hard"

• Walter getting thrown out of the society that he refers to as "if Mensa had its own Mensa" for using ice cubes to smuggle a strain of E. coli into one of their parties.
  • The doctor diagnosed the other supernerd with "explosive diarrhea."
• Cabe uses a robotic arm to punch out one of the hostage-takers.
• Sylvester gets busted with a phone during the bar exam. When he gives the proctor the excuse, he says that that's either the truth, or the best lie he's ever heard.
  • Once the proctor gets confirmation that Sylvester's not lying, he lets him continue in the bathroom under the proctor's supervision and pulls up a garbage can for him to work at. When Sylvester complains about how unsanitary it is, the proctor says he could sit on the toilet instead.
  • Sylvester pretending to already be a lawyer in order to get a suspicious LAPD officer to keep from interfering with Happy and Toby.
• Cabe as "Barnaby the Banking Butler".
  • And then when he returns to his normal Action Hero persona, the confused bad guy identifies him as Barnaby.

4x 08 "Faire is Foul"

• Sylvester gets shafted by his own lute player at his birthday.
  Slyvester: I have an idea how we can protect the evidence and stop the bikers, but we're gonna need help, all of your help.
  Lute player: Yeah, uh, I-I have sciatica.
• While Sylvester's Rousing Speech did wonders on fellow faire-goers, some were lost causes from the start:
  Cabe: Feel like your speech really had an effect on them, kid.
  Lute player: Yeah, I-I I can't pedal on account of my sciatica.
  Cabe: All except that one. He's a real weenie.
  (Chad, AKA King Phillip, emerges from a crate of manure)
  Sylvester: King Phillip? ...Were you hiding in the manure bin?
  Chad: (pretending none of this just happened) Good day. (rides off on his white horse)
  Cabe: Speaking of weenies.

4x 09 "It's Raining Men (of War)"

• In general, this one is full of a TON of banter, even more so than usual, due to being co-written.
• Sylvester suffering the wrath of a Gilligan Cut on his vacation day right as he gears up to read the newest Chair of Blades^note A paper-thin non-copyright-infringing Captain Ersatz of Game of Thrones, obviously because Toby needs him to sub in for a mission so he can keep digging below the surface of Cabe's flashback triggers.
  Toby: (shrewdly) Hey, buddy.
  Sly: Hey, pal. have to tell you, I am just loving my vacation.
  (Gilligan Cut to him on the boat)
  Sly: (now sounding super pissed) I'm just loving my vacation.
• Walter is able to walk across the hardened plastic mass of trash in the ocean. Happy chimes in:
  Paige: Look at you, walking right across the water.
  Happy: Toby always said Walt had a god complex.
• Walter engaging in relentless Snark-to-Snark Combat with annoying neighbor Florence, a persnickety scientist. Which finally hits its peak when Florence's chemical compound used to dissolve a mass of trash ends up attracting a massive number of jellyfish, and Walter and company learn that they are in danger of being stung to death.
  Walter: (smugly) I am so glad you came along today, Flo.^note Suffers a from Harsher in Hindsight when Flo actually suffers life-threatening stings, as do Walter and Happy to a lesser extent.
• This exchange:
  Happy: Paige, I will talk you through modifying the launcher so it can properly toss Sly's lunch.
  Florence: Really? Could you people be any less mature?
  Paige: I'm headed topside. ...Oh, and we could be infinitely less mature. Happy could've easily said, "It's time to launch Sly's balls," but she didn't.
• Walter and Happy arguing over who will test out the fish goop coating designed to fool the jellyfish into believing they're indistinguishable from themselves.
  Happy: Staring at them won't tell us if this slop will protect us.
  Walter: You're right. Shove your arm in.
  Happy: You're the boss. You shove your arm in.
  Walter: The fact that you admitted that I'm the boss means that you should shove your arm in.
  Happy: This trash-raft is crumbling under us. We're gonna be filled with venom in five minutes if this doesn't work, so shove your damn arm in!
  Walter: I don't know how Toby does it.

4x 12 "A Christmas Car-Roll"

• Dream!Walter tries to recruit Dream!Paige, who owns the diner where she used to work, to save himself. Unfortunately, he sounds nuts.
  Dream!Paige: Ralph, go to the kitchen, get Fernando, tell him to bring the big knife.
• After being recruited, Dream!Paige co-ordinates the geniuses by telling them that if they don't put their egos away and work together, then they're no better than ordinary people.
  Dream!Toby: I can't even spell "ordinary"! [Beat] I mean, I can spell it, it's a really simple...
  Dream!Paige: GET TO WORK!

4x 13 "The Bunker Games"

• Disgruntled at being benched for the current job, Toby follows the team to find out why. Turns out the client is his old rival, Quincey, who's programmed Toby as an enemy for demonstrative purposes with the AI that runs the bunker the team are consulting on. Toby proceeds to act like kind of an ass about it, so when a plan is devised that involves the hydraulics for the garbage disposal system, guess who gets volunteered?
  • While he's down there, the AI activates the crusher. He survives by hiding in a floor drain full of garbage water.
• One reason for Toby's bad attitude is the... problem he experienced during the honeymoon. Yeah, this gets Played for Laughs.
  • After Happy accidentally announces the problem over the intercom:
  Walter: You have bigger problems than your inability to perform your marital duties!
  Toby: [Stuck in a drain full of garbage water] Just leave me down here.
  • When the AI tries to crush him, he first tries the Star Wars solution of blocking it with a pipe. Which then breaks. Yeah...
• Quincey's heckling results in Toby screwing breaking a pipe he's trying to unscrew. Happy comes in to yell at them:
  Toby & Quincey: [Point at each other] HE DID IT!

4x 18 "Dork Day Afternoon"

• Toby and Walter are caught in a bank robbery while on the way to the fertility doctor's with Toby's sample, which has to get there quickly or Happy and Toby won't be able to try to conceive for weeks. Happy is at the doctor's, full of hormone boosters and even crabbier than usual, causing Toby to repeatedly point the finger at Walter (who insisted on going to the bank first).
  • Walter, talking to Happy on the comm, trying to reassure her that the robbery will be foiled soon:
  Walter: ... and then, the whole team will work to get you pregnant!
  [Confused and disgusted looks from the bank staff]
  • When Happy commandeers an office at the Doctor's, a nurse protests.
  Happy: You're a nice person, but my foot is in the air and I'm looking for an ass to kick!
  [Nurse backs out looking scared]