- In "Scary Logos (and Other Nostalgic Video Terrors)", Ben devotes a segment to "zooming logos", such as the Viacom "V of Doom", which knocks him in the face. Then he mentions the Paramount Television "Closet Killer" logo, which also knocks him in the face. Then, he mentions the Warner Bros. "\\'", which initially misses him, prompting him to say "Ha ha, missed me!"...only for it to knock him in the face, too.
- Ben's lampooning on how the scary BND logo was thought up.Ben as Vlad: So, Sergei, I had this idea for our studio's logo tag. It starts with the sound of a film projector, and then you see a pool ball rolling off a cue, and starts rolling into a cartoon tunnel, and for a finale, a decapitated Buddha statue appears against a black background and some scary music plays! So, what do you think?Ben as Sergei: I think you need to start coming to work sober.
- When talking about how it was often the music that caused the logos to be scary, we're treated to the WGBH 'jingle' as Ben sits behind his box with a blank look as Asinine Productions appears.
- After a few 'non-sequitur' logos, we're treated to another Asinine Productions logo, this time with Ben growling "Peeeeaaaachessss! DUM DUM" while sitting behind a picture of Connie Francis.
Ben: Hey, if they can do things that don't make sense, so can I! - Ben's lampooning on how the scary BND logo was thought up.
- Ben comparing the Emergency Alert System's Specific Area Message Encoding header to that of a duck. Cue pictures of Donald Duck, Daffy Duck and... Macy Gray (an R&B singer whose management attempted to turn her into a superstar by way of Wolverine Publicity, and failed — the usage of the cover for her Big album likely being a jab at the feather-based outfit she wears on it).
- THIS scene.Ben: Now, back on the duck thing, it has been scientifically proven that these noises cause all nearby waterbirds within earshot to become instantly sexually aroused. In fact, pre-recorded EAS tests are currently being used by conservationists to spike egg production in depleted areas.Duck: Honk......HONK......HOOOONK........HOOOOOONK!!!!!!!Ben: Okay, maybe I made that up, but I digress.
- Ben comments that if the voice in the EAS sounded more scared and unsettled while delivering the report, he'd pay more attention. Cue the voice raised in pitch and sped up, followed by "Yeah, maybe not."
- Ben's frustrated reaction to the EAS interrupting his Sherlock Holmes movie.Ben: Oh, bite me, what now? *beat* Will you get on with it?!EAS: The National Weather Service...Ben: *mockingly* National Weather Service, blah-de-blah-de-blah...kiss my ass.EAS: ...for Lincoln County and Cheyenne County in Eastern Colorado...Ben: That's over a hundred miles away from here, AND NOBODY LIVES THERE!EAS: ...This storm was detected 45 miles east of Limon...Ben: So, it's moving away from here? Well, that's just brilliant!EAS: ...If no shelter is available, lay flat in a culvert or ditch...Ben: But-but, you said hail! Flooding? Lie face down in a ditch, IN A FLOOD? What, so you can drown WHILE YOU'RE BEATEN TO DEATH?!
- The beginning of the episode has one of the funniest random reference gags ever.Ben: Welcome to the Oddity Archive, the show that dares to ask such hard-hitting questions as...
- THIS scene.
- While riffing on a (very obscure) Halloween program hosted by Martha Stewart in the first Halloween Special, Ben says her voice "sounds like she's being lobotomized."
- Ben's reaction to William Shatner and Tiffany Bolling sharing a kiss in Kingdom of the Spiders.Ben: Aww, no. (in an assertive tone) N-no, you don't! Nooooo! No no! Don't kiss the Shatner, (now a scared tone) NONONONO—(they kiss)...EWW! (cue a We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties card) Oh, thank God! Thank you, little cartoon union guy! (cuts back to movie) Oh! What's so damn attractive about spiders anyway? Or William Shatner?
- In "Format Wars", Ben notes the Irony of laserdiscs making films shot in videotape look better. Cue Alanis Morissette's "Ironic", and Ben screaming in terror off-screen.
- The Scarlet Letter musical from "Captain Midnight/Vrillon".Hester Pryyyyyynne.......you have been found guilty of adulteryyyyyy...Adulteryyyyyy...Nooooow, you must weaaaaar...Wear the 'A'! Wear the 'A'! Wear it every single day! In the park, in the town...
- The parody of the Captain Midnight hijack.GOODMORNING ARCHIVEFROM LT. LUNCHTIMESCARLET LETTER?NO 'A'!!![BRONTE AND CONAN-DOYLE BEWARE!].
- The "Poetry Corner" segment with Vrillon. The images accompanying Vrillon's "poetry" are pretty amusing Nightmare Retardant, but Ben's interruption at the end is hilarious (bonus points for Ben's uncanny impression of Vrillon).
Ben: This has been "Poetry Corner".Ben (as Vrillon): I wasn't finished yet. If I had the budget, I'd vaporize you. - The parody of the Captain Midnight hijack.
- Ben's increasingly desperate attempts at seeing actual porn on his TV porn tapes (most of which consist of discontinuation notices and a terrible sex-related Hurricane of Puns) in Episode 5
, which leads to him having an epic breakdown when the actual porn gets interrupted by channel surfing and TV info, followed by his mom magically appearing and beating the ever-loving crap out of him.- In the same episode, upon seeing that American Exxxstasy's signal has stopped broadcasting, it prompts a number for ordering any additional pornographic programming. Ben calls this number and explains to the operator on the other line about the signal message, and the man soon asking him what channel it is. Ben awkwardly and quietly tells him it's American Exxxstasy two times before speaking up clearer the third time. Cue the operator laughing at Ben and telling him that American Exxxstasy hasn't been on the air in over 20 years.DISH Network Operator: HEY CHARLIE! LISTEN TO THIS!
- Him realizing that the channel costed a ridiculous amount of money in order to view in the 1980s.note
- In the same episode, upon seeing that American Exxxstasy's signal has stopped broadcasting, it prompts a number for ordering any additional pornographic programming. Ben calls this number and explains to the operator on the other line about the signal message, and the man soon asking him what channel it is. Ben awkwardly and quietly tells him it's American Exxxstasy two times before speaking up clearer the third time. Cue the operator laughing at Ben and telling him that American Exxxstasy hasn't been on the air in over 20 years.
- Ben's rendition of "Payphone" in "Record Rip-Offs".
- In "Teknikel Diffikultees", Ben wonders if the station showing an old Christmas movie with dirt on the film "buries the reels in the back yard when they're not showing them."Ben: For a White Christmas, it's an awfully black picture!(The picture blacks out entirely)Ben: Oh-ho, case in point!
- Ben refers to technical difficulties as "TD-moments."
- Ben later revealed in "Oddity Archive's Greatest Hits" that "TD-moments" was an injoke referring to a technical director he worked with at a theatre, who would inevitably cause things to go wrong whenever he showed up. Ben's also amused that the term seemed to stick with Archive viewers.
- "We apologize for the incorrect aspect ratio of this technical difficulty. We also apologize for this technical difficulty within a technical difficulty."
- When an interview is interrupted by a network technical difficulty, the Editor adds "there's actually nothing wrong, we just don't agree with this report." note
- "We apologise for this inter-" *show resumes*
- Ben trying to fill in for the car commercial's intermittent audio.
- The way Ben sings "The EBS is baaaaa-aaaaaack!"
- Ed's 'shouted' warnings during an EBS TD-moment to "take cover", before the EBS tone is rendered as a loud, droning buzz. Ed then quips "Testing the new Dremel, ya know?"
- Ed: "I think you forgot something... A lot of things actually."
- During the segment on stations showing a slide of what is supposed to be showing during a TD-moment, Ed comments that one of the slides was "Pennywise's humble beginnings."
- A Citytv slide appears to be normal, but then all of a sudden transitions to a confused-looking man from the show interrupted as the synthesized trumpet soundtrack in the background suddenly stops in its tracks off-key:Man: Sorry, I drifted off to Toronto again...
- Ben notes that while American television seems to have less problems in the new ultra-digital age, but that Britain doesn't seem to be so lucky. And he wants to know why they get to have all the fun.
- Ben dryly noting that if a TD-moment was along network lines and not at the station, then the stations seemed to be "all too happy to wipe their hands of the matter."
- Before playing a series of elaborate comedic Technical Difficulties slides, some of which are full skits, Ben admits to theorising that the stations may have staged some of the problems so they could show off their work.
- Similarly, he theorises that some having convenient timing for where they happen in the episode of the show that's airing is "Unsold Commercial Break Syndrome".
- A British breakfast talk show having so many technical difficulties that the slide interrupts the show's host trying to apologise for the previous one.
- Ben describing equipment malfunctions as "some piece of equipment deciding to release the magic blue death smoke."
- Ben refers to technical difficulties as "TD-moments."
- The thumbnail for the Y2K Video Vault.The Oddity Archive has been infinitely suspended due to a date error in our computer system.Or, HELP!!!
- The premise of the Y2K Video Vault - Ben received a blow to the head by falling boxes in his basement and now thinks it's 1999.
- Ben somehow turns a horrifying Smokey the Bear PSA into a moment of sheer hilarity.Joanna Cassidy as Smokey the Bear: Hi, I'm Joanna Cassidy, and I'd like to say a word about forest fires. (takes off hat) Don't believe me? (puts her face back on)Joanna Cassidy: There. That's much better. Seriously, the things you gotta do for a paycheck. Anyway, I know a place that's peaceful and quiet...a place where animals play.
- If you can handle the Gallows Humor, the riffs of the "Protect and Survive" are amazing. Highlights include the moments when Ben is filling in for silent alert sirens.Ben (as air raid siren): Um... um... th-the siren's kind of broken right now, uh, might be a good idea to take cover, but, ah, no reason to panic, really, just be orderly and get into your homes and shelters. Um... um... AAAHOOO! AAAHOOO!Ben (as "all-clear" siren): Hey! It's cool to come out now! Um, bring out your dead! *cue booing from Archive "audience"*
- The takes of Ben laughing evilly during "Blooper Reel". It's hard not to laugh along.
- "Local TV Special" is a gem all throughout, but the ending is especially amazing:Ben: You know, if you look at that drummer real close, I swear that is Jimmy Chamberlin from The Smashing Pumpkins. (beat) Oh, oh, oh, yes it is! That is Jimmy Chamberlin from the friggin' Smashing Pumpkins! This doesn't seem so bad after all! Y'know, now that I think about it, uh...Alternative Rock and polka really aren't all that incompatible.You know who would've made a good polka band?HIT IT, TRENT! (cue polka version of "Survivalism")
- The riff of "Pop Goes the Weasel" in "Local TV Vol. 2 (Kiddie Show Hosts)".Ben: Quoth the raven, "Nevermore"; pop goes the weasel!Ben: Never tune your guitar, Paula. Never sell out to the mainstream!Ben: I gotta have my pops!
- The Urinal Cake Thing from "Local TV Vol. 3 (Public Access)". It involved a Blip exec named George, a New York subway station, the previous summer, and 10,000 urinal cakes.
- The calling segment in volume 3 of "Local TV Special".Ben: For some reason, this particular public access channel requires all its shows to be interactive to some degree, which means...we have to take a few calls.Ed: Call (303) XXX-XXXX now!Ben: What Could Possibly Go Wrong? (pushes message button on telephone) Archive.Hater: YOU SUCK BIG DI*bleep*K—Ben: (turns off message) Oh, Lord. Uh...(pushes message button) Archive.Creep: Hello, beh-bee!Ben: (awkwardly) Hi...Creep: Yeah, it's so good to hear your sexy voice agai—(gets turned off)Ben: (mildly disgusted) Thank you... (pushes message button) Archive.Prank Caller: Hi!Ben: Hi.Prank Caller: Is this Mari?Ben: ...what?Prank Caller: Juana? Marijuana? (cue corpsing)Ben: Oh, God. (turns it off and sighs) Archive.Screamer: (gabbers loudly, gets turned off)Ben: Thank yoooou. I hate my life. Oh, uh-uh-hey, Ed, how long is this segment supposed to run?Ed: 22 minutes!Ben: Oh, God. (pushes message button) Ben's Private Hell, no waiting!Max Headroom: He's a frickin' nerd! HEHEHEHEHE!Ben: (turns it off) Oh, boy. (pushes message button) Archive, this BETTER BE GOOD!Idiot: Uh, ih-hello?Ben: Hello.Idiot: HELLO?!Ben: Hello!Idiot: Hello?Ben: HELLO!!!Idiot: (echoing) Hello?! WHOA!Ben: (turns it off) GOODBYE. Would a 15-second delay be too much to ask for?! Good Lord. (pushes message button) Archive.Ben: (turns it off, angrily breathes, then pushes it again) WHAT DO YOU WANT?Heckler: Ooh, I'm soooo angry, ooh, ooh! Fear me—Ben: (throws telephone Phil Connors-style) Oh, dear, our phone seems to have gone down! GOSH DARN IT, we're gonna have to cut this segment short! Oh, well. We'll be right back.(Beat, Ben leaves with his box before realizing...)Ben: Oh, wait a minute, this is public access, there are no commercials! DAMMIT!
- The riff of "Pop Goes the Weasel" in "Local TV Vol. 2 (Kiddie Show Hosts)".
- Ben notes in "Hell's Bells" that in 2004's Hell's Bells 2, Eric Holmberg looks exactly the same as he did in 1989. He says "I could swear that the man sleeps encased in AMBER!"
- Ben's reaction to the Emergency Alert System hijackers' zombie warning is shaking his head. "Kids today..."
- "The first hijack we have footage of was during a showing of The Steve Wilkos Show. No major loss."
- The EAS demon's songDespite our trouble-ied historyNow you're going to love me too.
- The Stinger of the 2014 Halloween SpecialBen: (leans out of the box, wearing Rejuvenique mask) Haven't you always wanted to see my face?
- From the Infomercials episode, these two quickies that happened back-to-back during the Tom Vu infomercial segment:Random Successful Student: In my hand, framed, is a check for $203,000 and $29.32. noteBen (as RSS): I still haven't cashed it. SHIT, I KNEW I FORGOT TO DO SOMETHING!Random Successful Student: This is a net check.Ben: A net, but not Frankie. (rim shot)
- "Who edited this?! Oh wait, I did. Scratch that thought."
- "TV Sign-Offs" has a few.
- For example, during the "station information" segment, some of these gems roll across the screen:On-screen text: You oughta see our electric bill. It ain't pretty.On-screen text: I knew a guy named Lumpy once. Actually, it was Jerry. We just called him Lumpy. I mean, what kind of idiot names their kid Lumpy?
- When Ben reads off the legalese of the station, we're treated to this text card:"Some of the programs aired on this station are pre-recorded and may not be used for any purpose other than exhibition at time of original broadcast on receivers other than the type of those used for ordinary home reception in places where no cover charge or mechanical operation charges are made. KLAK reserves the right to sue anybody for any reason. We're funny like that. Bill Bruchman's daughter is a hottie. I mean, have you seen her? Holy crap! HELP! I'm a text card! Let me out of here! I'll be your best friend. Have you ever really looked at your hand? Far out, man! Hey Todd, let me type something. You always get to write the cards. This isn't cool, man. I'm telling! Oh fine, you big baby, you can type. Hey wait, I just wrote down this conversation. Sweet!"
- And then, when Ben begins rambling about teletype programs that would sometimes play after sign-offs, there's this bit of dialogue:Off-screen voice (over Ben): Ben. Ben! (yelling) BEN!Ben: What?Off-screen voice: Outta time.Ben: Outta time already.Off-screen voice: Yes.Ben: Well, what the hell did I do that took so long—Off-screen voice (over Ben): Guess.Ben (sheepishly): —ne-ver mind; I think I know.
- For example, during the "station information" segment, some of these gems roll across the screen:
- The end of "Copy-Protection Vol. 2 (odds and ends)":Ben: Join us next time when I take another tape, coat it in peanut butter, and see if I can get that to cause my VCR to burst into flames.
- The Archive's version of a "Hooray for Reading" interstitial from "Interstitials".
- "Public Domain VHS Distributors" gets hijacked a la the Max Headroom incident by a special guest who has a....unique take on UAV Corporation.
- Even better, when the show resumes, Ben's reading an iPad, calmly waiting out the "hijack".Ben: That. Never. Happened. Got it? IT NEVER HAPPENED.
- Midway through a Madacy Vanity Plate being shown, a caption appears against the very-Cameo-esque drumbeat reading "Yo, pretty lay-dies around tha world...".
- The sheer Narmity of another Madacy plate shown in the episode. Perfectly described as "schizophrenic", it shows a fancy-looking logo with a Roman column structure accompanied with a loud tune with big roaring guitars; and this is shown before the light, jazzy opening theme to a Charlie Chaplin movie it precedes!
- Even better, when the show resumes
- The end of the "Laser Karaoke 3" episode, with Ben singing "I Just Called to Say I Love You" as Johnny Cash(?).
- For anyone worried about Ben vanishing at the end of "An Overly Nostalgic Halloween".... For Want of a Pail - Conclusion. To say anything else would spoil it.
- Ben attempting to decode what Irwin the Disco Duck was trying to say:Bill, come to a disc throw party!noteVanilla mobster hit for you!Dick's another, saw-it gold, thawed out hit, nulled, don't fruit Freddy! He's talking about "Kung Fu Fighting." We hear the famous opening notes two seconds later.Go Russia!note
- Ben's reaction to the Minipops album in Record Ripoffs Vol. 6:(Long pause. Holds up the album from behind the box, hands shaking)Ben: ...Die! (Throws album offscreen, cut to credits)
- From his "Random Audiocassette Haul" episode, there's a pornographic cassette, where, at one point a woman offers to make the male protagonist dinner, with "my pussy for dessert". A caption then appears, saying, "My God! They're going to eat her cat?"
- There were many funny moments in the Amvest Video episode:
- The opening of the episode, which is a dub of the Happy Hamster introduction on the Kid Pics tapes:Happy Hamster: "Remember me, Ben? I'm the Happy Hamster! (laughs) I'm so happy to be back in your dreams! Now you can be with me again FOREVER! We're gonna dance like I wanted to in '88, and I even wore my old Sgt. Pepper's costume! So, what do ya think? Now we're going to get all cozy and comfy, and I'm gonna touch you in places you couldn't even imagine! Best of all, your parents can't save you now, so please, Benny-boy, my little cupcake, don't try to run from me...I'll be there at every turn! So let's get set for fun time! Torture! Sodomy! French maid outfits! And I'll see you soon! (laughs again)
- The poorly drawn picture of an alien on the tape label for Grampa's Sci-Fi Hits that looks like the alien is giving the middle finger to the viewer.
- Ben: (upon seeing the title of Grampa's Sci-Fi Hits) "That last word is missing an "S" at the beginning, isn't it?"
- "And God said 'Let there be bad, incoherent segues!'"
- Ben claiming that Igor is Grampa's imaginary friend.
- Grampa: "Gooood work, Igor!"Ben: "My offscreen, non-copyright-infringing sidekick!"
- "Oh, I see he bought a spaceship at a PBS Kids garage sale..."
- Grampa: "And when we get there, we're going to use my electric robot's kabobulator..."Ben: "By Apple!"
- "In other words, he wants to create an alternate universe...so he could run for Governor of New York in another 10 years!"
- "Oh, it's time to climb about the Good Ship Lollipop, everybody!"
- "Hey, a Bat-Fire Extinguisher? Really?"
- Grampa: "I told you once, I told you twice! Never ever use that word in my presence!"Ben: "As in Belmont Stakes. Grampa lost his shirt there last year!"
- "The SCTV Television Network is on the air! I wish..."
- "Oh, everything is so much funnier when you're on acid!"
- Grampa: "Boy, those G-forces, they really hit the spot!"Ben: "The G-spot!" (Rimshot)
- Grampa: "Look! Igor! Igor! It's my friend, Flash!"Ben: "He hangs out in front of the elementary school!"
- Grampa: "I was able to break through the force field with my magnetic personality!"Ben (speaking like a robot): "Joke does not compute."
- Igor: "Brakes? What brakes, Grampa?"Ben: "Why, the light that breaks through yonder window, of course!"
- "Ah yes, the inevitable crash from those cheap drugs you took!"
- "Give him the chair! Give him the chair!"
- "Igor just hit puberty, BTW."
- Grampa: "Now get to work, Bozo!"Ben: "But not Larry Harmon's Bozo, because that would be copyright infringement!"
- "And another lovely image to think about while you fall asleep tonight! From your friends at the Oddity Archive!"
- The samples of dialogue from the second Happy Hamsters album that stated how the Happy Hamsters were hamsters, not chipmunks:"Well, it's a good thing that the doctors classified us hamsters, not chipmunks, hamsters, remind you...""Now I must check your collars to make sure that you're not the Happy Chipmunks or some other imposters...""What do you think I am, a chipmunk?""Absolutely not! You are a hamster! The court says so in Rahway, New Jersey, District Court Action Dadadadada...""Okay, that's clear. I'm a hamster!"
- "Why, why are the Happy Hamsters (formerly Chipmunks) singing about HUMAN nature??"
- The captions that appeared while the Happy Hamsters version of Billie Jean was playing:Did we mention that this was released on AUDIOFIDELITY records?We love not having to write jokes.
- "Okay, little rodent bastard, where are you?"
- Happy Hamster: "I'm so happy to be joining you so that we can be together, watching one of my favorite Kid Pics videos!"Ben (mocking the Happy Hamster): "Especially the ones filmed in my bedroom!"
- Happy Hamster: When the program is over, don't touch that dial!Ben (mocking the Happy Hamster): "'Cause I've got even more mental scarring to inflict on you!"
- Happy Hamster: "So let's get set for fun time! Lights! Action!"Ben: "Reverse beastiality!"
- The song that Ben sings to the Kid Pics logo music:"The Happy Hamster's gonna be a-wa-ha-ha-tching you! Yes, you are gonna die!"
- Ben: (Upon seeing the start of the first Flip the Frog cartoon on the tape) "Screw the cartoons!" (Ben cuts to a static screen, and then he skips to the end of the last Flip the Frog cartoon on the tape)
- "Even the tape wants nothing to do with this..."
- Ben's constant mockery of the promo at the end of the Flip the Frog tape for the Kid Pics Happy Hamster Club at the end of the tape:
- Happy Hamster: "I, the Happy Hamster (laughs), am president of a new club!"Ben: "I think you can fill in the blanks on that one!"
- Happy Hamster: "Starting out with this beautiful t-shirt, with my picture on it! It will tell all of your friends..."Ben (mocking the Happy Hamster): "...that I got boinked by a mutant hamster And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt!"
- Happy Hamster: "Newsletter, so you can be kept up to date with the newest releases, comings and goings..."Ben: "'Comings?' He writes about...? EEEW!"
- Happy Hamster: "How about a beautiful, full-colored poster..."Ben: "...because we couldn't sell all the records before LPs disappeared!"
- Happy Hamster: "The cost of joining is just 10 dollars, plus three dollars mailing and handling!"Ben: "Hamster handling!"
- Happy Hamster: "You say you want more? Okay, okay, I'm just a sucker! You've got more!"Ben: "Wait, did he just say he wants to 'suck her'? Hamsters don't have lips....do they?"
- Happy Hamster: "Tweety Pie, hi, Tweety!"Ben: "Only the Happy Hamster can make Tweety Bird look psycho..."
- Happy Hamster: "And one of my favorites, Woody Wood-pecker!"Ben: "Emphasis on 'pecker'!"
- Happy Hamster: "Over an hour of great fun that I'm sure you'll be watching over and over again!"Ben: "Because once you've gone rodent, you never go back!"
- Happy Hamster: "The cost again is 10 dollars, plus 3 dollars postage and handling!"Ben: "What a racket! And that's all I've got to say about that."
- Happy Hamster: "And please enclose a picture of yourself..."Ben (mocking the Happy Hamster): "...and a lock of your hair, and some toenail clippings..."
- Happy Hamster: "It's very possible..."Ben (mocking the Happy Hamster): "...that we might hunt you down with your return address!"
- Happy Hamster: "Oh, I can't wait to hear from you!"Ben: "I bet..."
- Happy Hamster: "I, the Happy Hamster (laughs), am president of a new club!"
- The opening of the episode, which is a dub of the Happy Hamster introduction on the Kid Pics tapes:
- From "VHS Vault Vol. 7 (It's My Party And I'll Sigh If I Want To)", Ben riffs on a kids' birthday party tape hosted by Wally Boag and is generally apathetic towards it all, especially his constant lame puns. Things take a promptly interesting turn, however, when Boag's sentient gorilla partner "Bubba" comes into play... especially when the two start dancing.Ben: Now, I fully understand that this tape was made for little kids, so I think it would only be appropriate that I channel my inner four-year-old self here, and let him tell you what he thinks of all this. AAAAAAAAHHH!!! AAAAAAAAH! I WANT MY MOMMY, AAAAAH!!! AAAAAAHH!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
- Things get even better when at the very end of the tape, Boag's clothes fly off, leaving us seeing a balding, 65-year-old man in pink undergarments. And then he and Bubba proceed to chase each around around the video's stage.
Ben: Worst part is, you know damn well somebody out there is watching this and thinkin', "You know, the geriatric balloon animal artist's striptease is a market that really needs tapping."- During the credits, he notices the video's producer was "Fraser Head".
Ben: Eraserhead produced this?! Well, that would explain a lot. Or was that "Fraser Head"? Close enough.- "Aaaaand this is where the four-year-old Benny Boy would've jammed his peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich into the VCR so this could never haunt him again."
- Earlier, Ben riffs on a (very poor-quality Betamax dub of) a video called Let's Have an Irish Party. Highlights include an Irish Huggy Bear, the tape itself seemingly trying to finish the show quicker, and Ben's attempt at a drinking game.
Ben: Giving we're dealing with a truckload of Irish stereotypes here, maybe we oughta play a drinking game. So, every time prison, war, or death are mentioned, take a shot.Singer: ♪The firing party he proudly did face♪Ben: You heard the lady, "firing squad". (takes a sip, and gags)Singer: ♪Present arms and fire♪Ben: (sighs) Alright. (takes another sip and gags again)Singer: ♪...a ready-made grave♪Ben: (sighs) Okay... (takes another sip, begins coughing profusely) Okay...maybe this wasn't one of my better ideas... - From "VHS Vault Vol. 8: More VCR Games", Ben has had enough of the surprisingly-difficult Predicaments VCR game.Joan Rivers: Okay, I wanna compliment ALL of you on your acting abilities. Who knows? Some glossies and agent, little sleepin' around and, you could become a sex symbol like me! (beat) Oh, stop crying, we had a good time!Joan: [...] You, yes you, played a very good game!Ben: Oh, don't get sarcastic with me, Joan. (Mattel logo appears) And I'm not forgiving you for this one either, Mattel!
- Regarding a life insurance ad (a part of a VHS board game called "Commercial Crazies", hosted by John "Micro Machines" Moschitta, Jr.) showing a man sent to his Happy Place after buying a particularly confusing plan:
Ben: And, ladies and gentlemen, now you know how I spend my Thursday nights. - Regarding a life insurance ad
- From "VHS Vault Vol. 9: Your New Computer and You":Ben: (as the Diamond Entertainment Corporation logo appears) Well, color me disappointed. Not a single diamond to be seen! Or any entertainment, for that matter. (tracking control screen appears) You know, I don't think that's gonna help, I mean, I could see through the tape stock when I held it up to the light."A journey of 1,000 leagues must begin with a single step." - Lao Tse - 550 B.C.Ben: Pfft, what a Lao Tse quote. (quote disappears) Buh-bye. (camera begins zooming out of blue text) Man, the Warner Home Video logo's gone goth. (blue text continues to zoom out) It's gotten really long, too! (text slooooowly rotates to program title, Computer Symposium) Cow...nessy supersink....cowsill symphony? Oh... I think Cowsill Symphony would've been a lot more interesting. (ANOTHER title, "The Journey Begins", slooooowly appears) The Ern Agill? Oh geez... (tape slightly malfunctions) Yeah, I see how it is, tape, it's all one big mystery! Is this one of those tapes where I die in seven days when I watch it all the way through? Without eating, drinking, sleeping, going to the bathroom, and so on?
- The first segment sees Ben riffing on a video starring the Jamison Family, who he's declared as the most punchable family ever shown on the Archive.
- Ben singing along with the video's stinger music - first doing some vocal ad-libs, then saying "tick" apathetically, then finally blowing a raspberry.
- When the parents are shown sitting, then standing, then sitting down again in just a few seconds:
Ben: I think this family has ADHD. Either that, or they're playing a really bizarre game of musical chairs.- When the mom sneezes at the mention of computer viruses:
- "Remember, kids: don't floppy that copy. Or, something like that."
- When the tape ends:
Dad: We are just about out of time.Peter: But gee, Dad, I wanted to tell our viewers some more about some great computer programs!Dasha: (obscured by the tape audio getting distorted) And what about CD bundle bargains?Ben: Overruled by the tape! - From "VHS Vault Vol. 10: Learning with the Stars":
- Ben's repeated jabs at a transition sequence with a rather creepy clay Tom Smothers. He calls the clay figure everything from an "evil albino gingerbread man", to a "rejected Art Clokey character".
- Ben says that the yo-yo move "Rock the Baby in the Eiffel Tower" is his favorite They Might Be Giants song.
- Regarding a yo-yo move called "Dog Bites Man", similar to the "Walking the Dog" move but deliberately running up a person's leg:
Ben: And just move the yo-yo a little farther north and you'll know exactly what happened to me the last time I tried to use a yo-yo. - From "VHS Vault Vol. 15: Potty-Training Videos", during the FBI warning:Inmate 1: So, what're you in here for?Inmate 2: Bootlegging potty-training videos.Inmate 1: Get the hell away from me, man!
- In the second video, there's a song about pottying, set to "Row Your Boat", so, naturally, Ben does the overlapping vocals thing.
- The second video also immediately opens with our glimpse of its recurring Excited Kids' Show Host, leading Ben to comment it opens already sending its viewers to "Kiddie Video Purgatory". He also spends the rest of the episode pointing out the inherent creepiness of a pixie-sized adult effectively spying on toddlers using the bathroom.
- This moment:
Clown: ♪I'm a clown / So are you!♪ - During Episode 171, where Ben uncovers two mystery 8mm film prints and plays them, he gets immediately sidetracked by the second one, which was a porno titled "Salt & Pepper Orgy Part Two". He busts out laughing. (However, "Tropical Film/Tropical Paradise" (the first one) also reveals itself as a porno after about a minute or so, as Ben discussed near the end.)
- The "Stanic Mass" in Ben's 2019 Halloween Special. All of it, but especially the "sacrifice".Ben: God....it's a goat carcass! Where the Hell'd you find a goat?!Audio Visual Demon: There are a million farms around here, Benny-Boy.Ben: Well, eh, fair enough....Ben: Like Hell I'm kissing a goat!Audio Visual Demon: Kiss the goat!Audio Visual Demon: Kiss. The. Goat!
- Ben is taken off-guard by "Hail Stan."
- When asked to provide the blood sacrifice, Ben complains that he's scratched and cut himself enough on the broadcast equipment so much that that should count as the sacrifice.
- The Audio Visual Demon's ritual chant includes "Betamaxxus".
- Episode 203, "Cheesy Logos":
- Ben as the "director" of the Boyd's Videos and Video Films logo:(jerky zoom out from the "Boyd's Video and Video Films" card)Ben: Alright, keep zooming out... good, keep going... little more, just a little more, keep going... keep going, can't we go a little farther?... Alright, good, great, hm, fade to black, please... fade to black, please!... You can fade out, now, anytime, fade to black...(fade to pink)Ben: ...or pink, whatever. Wait, we forgot the address slide!(we can see the slide being changed in the gap at the right of the pink screen)Ben: Can we get that up, can we get that going, please?... Anytime, soon as you can do it!... Come on... do we have it?(fade to the address slide, which is extremely zoomed in)Ben: Okay, here we go, alright now, zoom out! Zoom out!(jerky zoom out from the card)Ben: Thank you! Keep going... keep going, there's some of the address, there's a phone number in there too, good! Keep go-(the logo cuts off)Ben: Argh, great...
- The stinger features a "sequel" to the Asinine Productions "logo" of "Scary Logos (and Other Nostalgic Terrors)":This has been a Stuffed Squirrel PresentationBen: Mangoooooooos... Toot-toot!
- Ben as the "director" of the Boyd's Videos and Video Films logo:
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