Funny / The Obscure

  • The weird...thing making noise in The Obscure's bathroom. Turns out it's a beam.
  • From The Mind's Eye Infection:
    The Obscure: Let us begin this non-drug related trip into celestial territory - well maybe just a little to start us off *snorts something*. Our journey begins in wait this is just table salt. Gah!
    Please Stand By
    • The movie begins with a simulation of life on earth and genesis...complete with dinosaurs. Because what genesis tory is complete without them?
    The Obscure: Well maybe the book of Genesis...but the Book of Genesis sucks! No dinosaurs!
    • At the beginning of the video a drawing of an eye is clearly visible on one of his hands. About halfway through we see the palm of the other hand - on which is written the letter "I" - in upper and lower case, too.
    • He states that even small pieces of CGI were a huge undertaking in the 80s - and his baffled as to why somebody would devote time to making a weird, trombone-armed freaky robot with it. Never mind and army of them.
    • His deep and soothing narration of the conclusion, travelling back through space into the unknown, is interrupted by space dolphins.
  • From "Gender Bender" (a look at the episode of the same name from Samurai Pizza Cats
    • The word "PUN" appearing in bright red letters whenever someone has a Punny Name. Then when Bad Bird appears, the word gets scratched out and replaced with "ALLITERATION"
    • "That's Lucille, by the way. When she gets upset she fires missiles from her hair because Japan."
    • At the end he gets effected by one of the gender-bending butterflies. Her voice goes up, and she immediately starts getting judged based on her appearance.
  • Describing his first episode:
    The Obscure: This six-and-a-half-minute masterpiece went on to win the Palme d'Or at Cannes, and it once melted Leonard Mutlon's bearded face. Or was that just a dream I had. Or a premonition?
    • He gets criticized by himself on the low quality of his first episode.
    The Obscure: Oh, and now you're talking about video games? Please, the last video game you played was the crappy little Video Game/Tetris game on your graphing calculator.
    The Obscure: Hey, I rocked that Tetris game! I was Captain TI-85: The Calculator Master. Where's my Saturday morning cartoon?
    • The Obscure decides he should die halfway through the episode, and The Obscure asks if he can have The Obscure's bread maker. When reminded that they're both the same person, The Obscure happily goes to make some bread.
  • At the beginning of his review of "Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, he notes that the album came out ten years ago and he feels old. Then he worries about seeing a grey hair.
  • The Horror Guru's cameo in The Top 10 Inadvertant Nightmare Stuff, where he makes fun of The Obscure for not having a scary list, and tells him that if it's not scary enough he'll send his minions after him. Then The Obscure complains about not having minions and he should get some, since he has room enough in the sex dungeon for them.
    • Guru later freaks out after seeing the number one spot: Dino Man!
    • The Obscure tries to shoot an animatronic from an E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial ride with a gun, but it turns into a walkie talkie.
    • He sees a clip of Dracula from an old kids show singing a silly song, and comments that he still needs to get Count Jackula to reenact it one day.
  • For "Impure Moods", he finds an old Pure Moods CD in a craigslist ad, which mentions that the CD can also be made into Kombucha tea. They do, at the end. And Kidz Bop can be made into a wheatgrass smoothie!
    • Savannah the 90s coffee-house girl, who is every bit as high as The Obscure.
    Savannah: Can you handle the purity? Can you handle the moods?
    The Obscure: I don't know!
    • The Obscure points out that "Return to Innocence" features a lot of sounds stolen form other recording artists, and the video is a ripoff of a Russian film.
    The Obscure: I have a habit of ruining things for people. *punches pizza box* There, I ruined your pizza. I'm also The Noid.
    • Savannah later rebuttals by ruining his favourite track.
    Savannah: *punches pizza box* And I ruined your pizza!
    The Obscure: Actually that's still your pizza.
    Savannah: Oh. Uh. Shut up, next song.
    • They theorize that Enya's song "Orinoco Flow" is actually about her wanting to be a pirate, and listing the places she's pillaged.
    • They encounter The X-Files theme and complain about it not being very pure. The next track? The theme to The Exorcist.
  • "Yelp of the Dead". Simply the concept of him reviewing restaurants that no longer exist as if he's eaten there loads of times before. It even gets to the point that he takes his non-existent girlfriend to a non-existent restaurant.
    • His excitement at Howard Johnson's 28 flavours of ice cream, and how it's almost like Baskin Robins 31 flavours.
    • "A Classy Weiner"
    • His YouTube-style commentary on Burger Chef, complete with run-on sentences and accusing all other restaurants of copying them. Also:
    The Obscure: Count Fangburger's wife looks like she'd be a bitch but that's okay because she's got mad vampire titties. Coming out of her neck.
    • Making sure to mention that the authentic Mexican food at Chi Chi's is made by two guys from Minnesota.
    • After running out of dead restaurants to rant about, he yelps about his cat's kibble.
  • At the beginning of his review of The Stinky Cheese Man, he accidentally holds up a Magic Eye book upside down. Then flips it right side up. Then realizes it's the wrong book and punches it away.
    • His inability to pronounce the last names of Jon Scieszka and Lane Smith.
  • His attempt at a Title Drop in "Sweet Sweet Sucrose".
    The Obscure: it appear I am on a lane made of memories. We are on...Retrospective Street what that's not the name of my show...Memory Lane! Man I really like the title "Retrospective Street". Should've named the show that. Shit.
    • The three categories of Halloween candy: good, terrible, and "this isn't candy why the fuck you give it to me?"
    • "You got chocolate in my peanut butter! You got fuck in my yeah—FUCK YEAH!"
    • Wondering if there are chocolate bars other than 3 Musketeers named after the works of Alexandre Dumas, such as Count of Monte Crispy.
    • Handing out chicken broth sweet and sour sauce, and salad dressing to trick or treaters.
    • The Obscure laments that he has become too old for candy...but at least he can still count on liquor and drugs.
  • Treating virtues in "The Crook of Virtues" like a drug.
    • Being continually disturbed by the bipedal Buffalo.
    • Representing William Bennet, the author of the book that the cartoon is based off of, with the Walrus from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.
    • At the end of the episode.
    The Obscure: I'd hate to end this on such serious note. So to lighten the mood...nipple clamps.
  • "A Very Slender Christmas", which is Exactly What It Says on the Tin, and features Slenderman attempting to read the screenplay to Christmas with the Kranks.
    • The Obscure's excitement at Annie's idea for an IN SPACE! version of A Christmas Carol, before being reminded that The Star Wars Holiday Special exists.
    • Buffaloes fucking. That's...that's really all there is to say on the matter.
    • The Obscure squeeing over the cartoon's cute critters dressed in Victorian era clothing, and preparing to do the same when the hawk shows up as the Ghost of Christmas Coming Up Next before saying it is the most metal thing he's ever seen.
  • Asks for a count of the number of children traumatized by the flower death scene in The Brave Little Toaster, and receives a number over three million. The number then jumps by nearly two million when he gets to the clown dream.
    The Obscure: Hey! New high score!
    • Assuming all things named Kirby were named after the Kirby Vacuum.
    • He compares the Toaster to Jesus.
    The Obscure: In the name of the father, the son, and the holy toast.
  • The Obscure compares the initial cast of Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers to that of an After School Special and wondering which one of them is going to get addicted to crack.
    • He wonders if Pudgy Pig is an allegory for Capitalism, and the show is soviet propaganda.
    The Obscure: No time for socio-economic policy! Shit be exploding'
    • Reenacting him and his friends reenacting the Power Ranger fights at school. He declares who gets to be which character, telling the kid with a broken leg that he's Alpha because he's useless, and saying that Trini is on sabbatical because there aren't any other girls around.
  • He refers to Wentworth Miller as "human vaginal lubricant".
  • "Believe it or not, cats existed before the internet!"
    • "Hey kids! Ever wonder what happens when you put your Colecovisionin a microwave?" *Weiss Global Enterprises stinger plays* "It's horrible! Don't but your Colecovision in the microwave."
  • From "The Shrugga Bunch"
    The Obscure: You've got the original video tape? And a VCR? Maybe I have met my match.
    Savannah: What was that?
    The Obscure: Do I get to see any snatch?
    Savannah: It's a children's movie from the 80s. So y'know, there's a possibility.
    • Savannah gets excited to see the 'g's in the title hugging. The Obscure says that they're doing the reverse cowboy.
    • One of the Hugga Bunch in the movie is named "Tweeker".
    • The Obscure wonders what The Bookworm's accent is. Savannah tells him it's an intelligent accent.
    Savannah: When you get smart you becoming...east...germanic...iceandic...ish.
  • From "Of Dancers and Riders".
    • The Obscure discards some stray hairs, which spontaneously turns into a cat.
    The Obscure: Huh. I have a cat now.
    • At the end of the video he names the cat "Current Resident" so that it can get all the mail addressed to "current resident".
    • Him getting hit in the face by a Sky Dancers toy. Just like everyone else who had them.
    • Commenting on how bad a name for a place "The Wingdom" is, and that he actually lives next to Horneytown North Carolina.
  • The Obscure reenacting the face painting scene from Liquid Sky using household condiments.
  • In the "Good News for People who Like Bad News" review:
    • Pointing out that the popularity of the album was bad news that fans of the band's original work that they didn't like despite the album title saying it should be good news for them.
    • Obscure immediately overreacts to the band's popularity thanks to the album, then points out that overreacting is an internet cliche...and therefore selling out.
    • Savannah appears and points out that she lives in the new apartment, and also, the obscure lives in the new apartment. Later Obscure relocates to perform on an abandoned stage, subsequently forgets, and thinks that he just moved. Again.
  • In a callback to one of the gags from Herman and Katnip (where Herman gets fake eyes shot at his real eyes, mistakes them for his real eyes, puts them on, and thinks he's gone blind), Obscure gets hit in the back of the head with a frying pan by Savannah. A pair of eggs fall out, Obscure mistakes them for his real eyes, puts them in...and purports that they're actually better than before.
  • "What's the Point?"
    • Obscure begins communing with nature in order to find the point of it all. A mystical light begins to descend towards him (causing him to squee), but then shorts out and becomes an Internet Explorer error. Soon after, he's seen communing with Ask Jeeves.
    Obscure: It's cool to be retro!
    • "I.O.U. Acid - Savannah"
    Obscure: Hmm, seems my roommate has taken all my...sugar cubes.
  • "Fuck faith hope and love, let's talk about screen savers!"
    • Obscure provides a reason why screen savers had to exist in the first place (to prevent pictures from being permanently burnt onto the screen due to the same images always appearing), but then decides that that explanation is boring and instead blames it on [[Film/Gremlins]].
    • Whilst comparing a screen saver to an owl on the prowl, he gets carried away and tries to eat the mouse.
    • No one owns the copyright on toasters except for mother nature.
    • At one point he does research by looking through Wikipedia: The Book. just a random book with a piece of paper with the wikipedia logo taped to the front.