Funny / Fate Grand Order Arc 1

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Main Page | Arc 1 | Arc 1.5 | Arc 2 | Events

Chapter 1 — Observer on Timeless Temple

Fuyuki

• During the intro, just as you seem to be accepted by Chaldea's security with the background going black, cue your admission being revealed to need 180 seconds, with the background snapping back into frame. Thus, you are forced to face your first fight in the game.
  Chaldea Announcement: Enjoy a simulated battle while you wait.
  Regulation: Senior
  Contract Servants: Saber, Lancer, Archer
  There will be no record of your score.
  Please feel free to enjoy.
  Activating Heroic Spirit Summoning System Fate.
  We hope you have a good experience as a Master for these 180 seconds.
• The protagonist in one option has the choice of questioning why Mash calls them Senpai. Mash and Lev's response is both funny and heartwarming.
• Why did the protagonist get sent to the doctor's room? Because they fell asleep during Olga's Exposition Dump. Even better as it allows them and Roman to escape the bombing.
• In this world, Cu was summoned as a Caster instead of a Lancer much to his complaints. Anyone who has seen the original would know that him being a Lancer tends not to end well.
• Any of the protagonist's snarky responses to Olga.
• Olga has a number of moments when she drops her hardassed Director persona to freak out at monsters she can't handle by herself because she can't control Servants, but by far the funniest one is near the end of the Singularity where she's finally opening up a bit to the protagonist, and when called on this by Roman and the others, she immediately goes into denial mode in classic Tsundere fashion, saying that they're all just tools to her.
  Monster: (Mm-hmm)
  Olga Marie: There, see? Even this shadowy-like monster-thing agrees with me! [realizes that it's an enemy] Huh? — Eeeeeeek! Mash, hurry up and get rid of it! It's gonna eat me! It's gonna eat me!
• A Black Comedy one at the end. Despite Olga's voice actor being a notable one, she's rather casually killed off before Fuyuki even starts. When she's brought back as a ghost, she gets killed again.

Orleans

• Mash manages to get into a fight with the first French soldiers you see... because she tried to speak to them in English. Using the English language in front of a group of panicked French soldiers in the middle of the Hundred Years' War was probably not the wisest of ideas.
• Roman getting caught eating candy that Mash had prepared for you for when you come back to Chaldea. Mash is very much not pleased and advises you to reserve magical power for a single attack upon return so that she can smack him upside the head with her shield.
• Roman panicks as three servants are approaching the group, despite not being there in person. He decided to get some help from Magi⭐Mari on what should they do.
  "I guess you'll just have to die and reborn!⭐"

Roman: Wow, internet idols are HARSH!

• Marie Antoinette's introduction, in which she expresses her desire to make Jeanne Alter and Original Jeanne's "heart and body hers", to the shock of Mash and Jeanne. And then "clarifies" this by saying that she wants to "bring them to their knees."
  Dr. Roman: ...It's falling apart...My image of Marie Antoinette is falling apart...
• If you greet Marie Antoinette with "Whassup", she completely embraces Totally Radical. "Whassup my homies!" to Mash's horror.
• Elisabeth and Kiyohime throwing insults at each other using various species of animal that match the other's theme.
• After the climactic battle with Fafnir, there's a small moment where your team chooses who will back you up against Jeanne Alter in her castle:
  Mash: We should leave this place to the other Servants and track the Dragon Witch!
  Siegfried: You're right. Let me handle this. Take Kiyohime and Elisabeth with you.
  Kiyohime: Very well. I look forward to working with you Master.
  Elisabeth: That's fine, but... why us?
  Siegfried: (Her Noble Phantasm hurts my ears and Kiyohime breathes fire on anyone, friend or foe.)
  Georgios: (Both of their Noble Phantasms...)
  Amadeus: (Elisabeth's is the worst Noble Phantasm in the world, I'm sure of it.)
  Elisabeth: ???
  Kiyohime: Huh?
  Mash: Ahem. L-Let's go, you two!

Septem

• Mash isn't impressed by Doctor Roman's obsession with Magi☆Mari.
  Mash: Doctor, it's not my place to comment on the hobby of a 30-year-old bachelor, but please do your job. Otherwise, I'll be forced to delete that "secret" folder of yours.
• Boudica subjecting poor Mash to Marshmallow Hell after she takes a liking to her.
• In between two missions the protagonists get a first hand taste of Nero's Drives Like Crazy skills. With a Roman galleon. And just how crazy is her sailing? Enough to make it do wheelies and drifts.
• During one part of the Shapeless Isle quest, Dr. Roman is unclear on what he means, which gets lampshaded by the text itself.
  Dr. Roman: There's a Servant over there!
  Elisabeth: Huh? (<-Servant)
  Tamamo Cat: Indeed. (<-Servant)
  Stheno: Oh? (<-Servant)
  Mash: Doc? (<-Demi Servant)
• The Player Character can chastise quite a few people just by association.
  Player Character: Dr. Roman didn't do anything/The cave had nothing to do with it.
  Elisabeth: ... (<-Did nothing)
  Tamamo Cat: ... (<-Did nothing)
• "Senpai, a weird person told me I'm weird!"
• After his Demon Pillar form is defeated, Lev/Flauros uses the grail to summon Altera, figuring that someone who instinctively kills entire civilizations will be too much for the heroes to handle. She immediately bisects him. Judging from his face, he somehow thought he'd be exempt from Altera's unfeeling wrath.
• This line, which players of Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance might find rather familiar:
  Mash: Even if something's clear and defined fades, as long as world exists its memes will remain.

Okeanos

• When going to meet with Drake, one of the pirates comments on how adorable Fou is, and how delicious it must be. The only difference between your dialogue options is if you threaten to beat or crush the pirate until they cry.
• Before you and Mash meet Drake, Mash starts going on about how, judging from the other pirates, he must be a gluttonous giant and good-for-nothing thug. Needless to say, she's Instantly Proven Wrong when you see what Francis Drake looks like.
  • After Mash declares that Drake's probably a good-for-nothing thug, you can either warn her not to let her guard down... or you can say that Roman's just as good-for-nothing. What's better is that her reaction is the same either way ("Yes, that is correct").
• After joining Drake's crew, she decides to toast for the new comrades. The protagonist proceeds to go so pissed drunk, the narration filled with nothing but drunken slurs. Mash then notices that Drake has the Grail right in front of them and tries to tell the protagonist. They notice there's nothing strange, aside from the fact that there are now two Shielders. Even better, the aura appears in the middle of the character's artwork... so it appears to be coming out of her cleavage.
• Bonus point that in Chaldea, Roman who has the tracking machine didn't alert them because when seeing the Holy Grail signal right in front of them, he proceeded to mess around with the machine while basically saying, "Yeah, right. Like that would be that easy."
• Da Vinci gives a quick course of history during the "Age of Exploration", one lesson she taught was that spices were more valuable than gold, she proceeds to demonstrate it by giving the heroes a pepper shaker and ask us to give it to Drake, she immediately faints.
• Euryale having an Anger Born of Worry moment after Asterios stops the ship the protagonist is on from sinking despite him not having recovered from earlier injuries and opening his wounds up again as a result, and the response Asterios gives in return.
  Euryale: That's for being reckless before making a full recovery! What kind of moron keeps swimming while carrying a galleon? You dummy!
  Asterios (with a huge grin on his face): ...this kind... of... moron.
• After Asterios ruins Orion's attempt to ogle Mash, Euryale, and Drake, one of your dialogue options is to recommend that the group dissects him. Even better is the fact that Mash enthusiastically agrees.
• After Artemis and Orion join the crew, Artemis says she wants to do that thing on the bow of the ship. Orion then notes that he's a bear plushie now because of a certain goddess's meddling, so she only has herself to blame if she now can't say, "I'm flying, Orion!"
• While the heroes are scouting about for the Ark of the Covenant, they come across several islands and begin searching them one by one. After a while, a bored Orion looks over at the protagonist and asks if they're willing to bet if it'll be on the next island. Regardless of what the protagonist says, Orion prepares to say what he thinks... and promptly gets shot in the head with an arrow courtesy of Atalante, who was attempting to signal with a tied message and hit him by mistake. For bonus points, this is a reference to the original myth, where Apollo tricked Artemis herself into shooting "a rock in the sea".
• When the heroes actually meet Atalante, they're actually glad that she was sane, unlike in Orleans, and she's an ally. She takes all the introduction to the allies just fine... until she comes across Artemis, her Goddess. When it becomes very clear that the lovestruck airhead with big boobs and revealing clothing is the Goddess of hunting and virginity that she worshipped, Atalante... staggers really hard, only excusing that the Holy Grail gotten from the oceans made her strong-willed enough to tank the revelation that her worshipped Goddess is a bimbo... ^note This gets doubly funny if you have read/watched Fate/Apocrypha, since it was almost similar to her situation with Achilles/Rider of Red: Atalante was his idol, so he was ecstatic to fight on her side. Artemis was more than just an idol, she's pretty much the being Atalante worshipped. They get a chance to fight side-by-side... and Atalante couldn't even feel the joy Achilles felt...
• The Chaldea squad asks David if Solomon really is the kind of person to cause the incineration of humanity. David's guess? Solomon had a falling out with his ten secret lovers. Never mind how hilarious this level of Disproportionate Retribution would be, the thought of Mr. "700 wives and 300 concubines" having ten secret lovers on top of that is hysterical.
  • And then this scene gets even more hilarious in hindsight because of The Reveal that Romani, who was listening in, IS Solomon, David recognised him, and sprouted this line to Troll him.

London

• Mordred's detective methodology. Find people and punch them until they squeak. If they're innocent, search again. Rinse and repeat.
• Mordred claims the Picts were actually aliens. The protagonists write it off as a joke, but Mordred insists she was serious.
• Apparently, Mordred likes to sleep on Jekyll's couch... In her full armor.
• After retrieving Frankenstein, Jekyll nearly gets himself killed by pressing Mordred's Berserk Button involving her gender.
• Practically every time Mordred and Andersen interact with each other.
• After cheering Mash up, Romani and Mordred were too distracted to detect a hoard of Helter Skelters heading towards them.
  Mordred: Hmpph, [Hello, [Insert Name Here]], summon a Rider Servant and have it give Maron(Roman) a swift kick with its hind legs.
  Dr Roman: Yeah, yeah, it's all my fault. My fault! Now time for combat. Multiple hostile readings approaching!
• During the climax of the chapter, Tamamo shows up and begins to harass Kintoki to be part of her practice honeymoon and Tesla to be her tour guide around London. All while the two of them, out of flustered courtesy, tries not look at her exposed cleavage.
• The circumstances of Andersen learning the original system of Servant summoning. He found out about it as a quick read when searching around the Clock Tower's archive. When he's supposed to be looking for information on the magic fog. While Babbage was laying siege on it and you have to Hold the Line against his robot army. The entire sequence where you have to fight Babbage's robots in the Mage's Association is because Andersen was distracted by a side reading. Good thing the information is useful.
• It turns out both Shakespeare and Andersen are interested by the Ark of the Covenant, not because of its religious value, but because of potential bad-ends it can induct while not believing that it actually existed. You then note that you've seen the Ark. They fanboy before composing themselves. Shakespeare then starts asking details (for research purposes, of course), while Andersen tries to discreetly eavesdrop as he arranges a makeshift tea party.
• Shakespeare and Andersen end up burning books at one point, something normally sacrilege to authors like them, but the thrill of breaking such a taboo sends them into a giddy glee. Andersen ponders burning his own works only for the thought of doing so making him realize that his own books are the only ones he really wants to burn. Shakespeare being...well...Shakespeare, he even goes straight for a Big "OMG!" at the feeling.

E Pluribus Unum

• Nightingale: "I'll save you even if it kills you!"
  • One of her most common reactions to almost all wounds is to amputate the wounded limb. Even if it's affecting the entire body, you'll be fine without all your legs and arms, right?
  • One battle has her carrying a wounded Rama through a battlefield in order to heal more injured allies. How does she plan to achieve this? Simple, stuff Rama into a bag and march like a mad medic, disregarding Rama's current situation!
• Da Vinci constantly complains about The Da Vinci Code throughout the chapter, saying it would be too much trouble unless she was trolling a customer and disrespectful to the painting.
• Between proposing to Mash right before the first fight against him and repeatedly needling Diarmuid about the Grainne thing, Fionn is a pretty funny guy.
• Robin Hood and Billy the Kid having a debate about prayer... in the middle of a fight.
  Robin Hood: Praying while blasting away with your gun won't do a thing. I mean, God can't hear your prayers over the gunshots.
• Edison is a walking CMOF.
  • The reaction every Servant has when they're seeing Edison for the first time. You got a dialogue choice and it's "....." like all the others. Just like every player's reaction when seeing his design for the first time.
  • The reaction to him declaring who he is is funnier in the English version:
    Mash: E?!
    Roman: DI?!
    Master: SON of a gun?!
  • His NP, "W.F.D: World Faith Domination", takes the cake. Gratuitous English aside, the animation of his NP includes a film reel with EDISON, 19th Century Fox, 20th Century Fox-style bumper, exploding with light and killing the enemies.
  • At the final battle, Tesla was somehow summoned to help against the 28 Demon Pillars. He then dukes it out with Edison. After the battle is finally over and peace has returned, he and Tesla (who teamed up) immediately start bickering again like children. The Mood Whiplash is glorious.
    Edison: Oops, my hand slipped. *punches Tesla*
    Tesla: Oops, my lightning slipped. *zaps Edison*
• Robin accidentally summons Bathory with a offhand remark of her name and has quite the apologetic expression afterwards.
• Nobody enjoys having to recruit Nero and Elisabeth. Not to mention Elisabeth declaring herself to be in Broadway, while Nero declares herself to be in Hollywood. They're in Louisiana.
  Geronimo: I feel like I understand why the Roman Empire collapsed now.
  Nightingale: Treating someone's aesthetic sense is outside my field.
• Nero calls Medb a bitch. Medb's reaction? "I'm fine being a bitch."^note Japan uses "bitch" as a loanword meaning "slut".
• The most important reason for Nero Bride to be in the party without Rama is because since she and Rama use the same personal pronoun, it'll throw his karma out of whack and it'll make his curse even worse. Sadly this joke is lost in the english translation as there's simply no way to translate it. Nero instead says she and Rama are too similar.
• Brainstorming on how to beat the Celts and their infinite army:
  Elizabeth: How about we just rush in and beat them all up?
  Edison: That's... denied!
  Elizabeth: Whyyyyy? Then, how about we sing to heal their souls?
  Everyone: DENIED!

Camelot

• Camelot is darker than the usual FGO story chapter, but there are still some funny moments, in part because it's also longer than previous chapters:
• When meeting Ozymandias for the first time, he starts giving exposition on what has transpired in the sixth singularity. In the middle of his words, though, his head slides off his neck, only to regenerate immediately and resume speaking as if nothing happened. When the protagonists point out his head had nearly fallen off, Ozymandias takes offense and denies anything happened. Cue his head slipping off his neck again. This time, he pointedly gives them a "Did you see that?" look, and the player can either pretend to have seen nothing, or just avoid making eye contact. For context, before you showed up in the Sun King's pyramid, the First Hassan himself entered and tried to slice Ozymandias's head off, but since Ozymandias was sitting on his throne at the time, he was bestowed with regenerative powers strong enough to let him survive being beheaded.
• Da Vinci manages to make a dune buggy with the parts she could find in Ozymandias' temple. Not only does it look somewhere between awesome and ridiculous (including a sphinx head as the front grill), but before they leave, a monster eagerly jumps on to ride. The party shares an awkward silence before beating it up. Later, Da Vinci uses it to keep young Rushd's attention. How? By showing off her drifting skills.
  • After the first one was destroyed to intercept Lancelot, Da Vinci made a newer model. The Bastinyan, now able to transverse land, air and sea... which the latter isn't even anywhere on the map.
• At one point, Rushd greets the group with a Glomp upon returning to the village. Mash tells him he can't do that, because "someone might register that as an offensive action called 'Tackle.'"
• Arash catapulting the player's party to escape with his bow, using a roof from a collapsed house and shooting them to a mountain several kilometers away. Apparently the rules of physics don't apply to heroes. After landing, everyone begs him never to do that again.
• Sanzang manages to completely kill the dramatic mood that King Hassan had been building up.
  King Hassan: My blade will be the raptor that pecketh out his eyes. My black shroud will be the night that swalloweth the light of the Holy City.
  Sanzang: I'm sorry, mighty skeleton man! I don't understand a word you're saying! Can you use easier, simple words?
• Lancelot acting all embarrassed in front of his new-found "daughter". Hearing Mash calling him "father" for the first time nearly kills him with a heart attack. In the stage play, Lancelot is so shocked that he spins around and faints.
• Later, when Da Vinci reveals that Lancelot saved her from Lion King's light of judgment, Lancelot says that he saved her because she's a pretty lady. Mash's reaction?
  "I'm sorry, what? Would you care to repeat that to my face? [...] Loafer! Good-for-nothing! Loser! Although this is something, it almost doesn't suit you, deadbeat Dad!"
• Xuanzang's flashback before using her Buddha palms against Amon-Ra. Turns out Buddha had sealed her NP because it's too darn destructive. Imagining Buddha getting exasperated is kind of funny.^note For an example of that, see Saint Young Men.
  Buddha: "Stop it, that's overkill."
• Toward the very end of the chapter, Bedivere makes a certain offhand comment that turns a few heads:
  Bedivere: [Agravain's] blood relatives Sir Gawain, Sir Gaheris, and even little Miss Gareth all misunderstood him.
  Dr. Roman: Wait, wait, wait. I think I just heard a particularly amazing phrase mixed in there!
  Da Vinci: Okay, single men need to shut up.
• A meta-funny. The 'Camelot' we see isn't the real Camelot, it's essentially just a magical replica. In other words, it's only a model! Additionally, Only the Pure of Heart can pass Camelot. Which means... Camelot might as well be 'The Castle of Aaaaaauuuuugggghhh...'
• In the final chapter after Rhongomyniad has been destroyed and Bedivere fades after returning Excalibur to the Lion King she declares that the protagonist can't say they've triumphed over her until they defeat her while she's wielding Excalibur before readying for another battle. However since the last thing barely holding the singularity together is gone it begins to collapse much faster than usual, while the rayshift meant to bring Mash, Da Vinci, and the Protagonist home starts automatically. Even understanding that the Lion King says it feels a lot like they're just taking their victory and running. Apparently the one thing Rhongomyniad couldn't take from Altria is her being a sore loser.
• When you first run into the Hassassins out in the desert, Hundred-Personas Hassan is the leader of the attacking group. After the first fight you knock her mask off, and the protagonist has the option to say "Oh, it's just Hassan!" if you've already summoned a Hassan before. Hundred Personas is not amused that you're throwing around their name so casually like that.
• As Touta is disappearing, Saruhan asks if he could leave his basket of rice, when he denies the request we get this gem.
  Saruhan: Oh yeah? Get lost then, ya stingy jerk!
• As Cursed Arm offers his head to First Hassan at the end, the latter reasoned that Cursed Arm^note  His arm that assimilated to Tristan. is the Cursed Arm. Cursed Arm is left dumbfounded.

Babylonia

• Four words:

  Fou: Foufoufooou!!! Murder Merlin foooouu!

• Ishtar is in general a Butt-Monkey throughout the chapter. In her first appearance, she lands on the Protagonist so that they're accidentally groping her. She's forced into the underworld where Ereshikagal uses her tests to insult her.
  • After Ishtar falls on the Protagonist, you can actually call her out on it by threatening to take her to court over it. Later when she attacks Gilgamesh and he enlists your help, you can point out how this is technically taking her to court.
  • The reveal that Ishtar has been coming to Babylon to hit on Gil every day ever since he's settled down as king. To the point he has "anti-annoying goddess" countermeasures, which apparently consist of nets.
  • How can the party defeat Ishtar with her flying bow ship? When Ishtar is gloating, she doesn't notice that Ana is jumping from a rooftop to her ship, who then proceeds to push her down. She falls and hits her head. Yeah, she's still as clumsy as Rin.
    • After she wakes up from her concussion, the player has the option to greet her by saying "Good Morning", to which she'll return the greeting, even tough it appears to be night time.
• Gilgamesh summoned some Servants to help him defend Uruk. One of them is Ibaraki but she didn't want anything to do with what was going on, so she ran away and established a bandit gang in the mountains, leading them to attack Uruk. After the story's end, you can visit her as a Free Quest, defeat her and get 5 million QP.
• Early on after arriving in Uruk, Gilgamesh has you doing several relatively mundane tasks.
  • The first one involves having to aid a farmer in shearing his 180 sheep. Mash gets very enthusiastic about it, even more so when Siduri mentions they are indeed fluffy. Immediately after, Fou is trembling with rage at the idea of Mash replacing him with a sheep. One of the options you can say is "A new challenger appears..." Later, Mash and Ana are both upset they didn't even get to see the sheep^note  Some girls from the temple also wanted to shear the sheep's that they payed the farmer for reservation .Roman has no idea what to say while you have the option to snark.
    Mash: So they ARE fluffy... (Gulp) This will be one tough mission...
  • One is investigating a case of infidelity that seems like it will be a simple mystery. Smash-cut to the fight against several magic constructs and Shadow Lancer Kiyohime in a burning hellscape without explanation. When the fight ends you get an after-the-fact recounting of some of the events, like how the wife was an inhuman being in human guise but really did love her husband, and a burning chasm was under Uruk, and plenty of other hints of a story arc full of drama and excitement we just skipped. The over-the-top feel of the adventure is just hilarious. Later, when Mash is reporting this to Gilgamesh, the King of Heroes is at the edge of his seat and even gets upset with his adviser because she interrupted the best part.
  • When Gilgamesh and Siduri give you a day off, Merlin recommends that you and Mash go on a date. When he leaves, Mash asks for your opinion - with both your options saying that it's a good idea. Then Ana waylays the two of you and you go fight a cavern of grim reapers in a cavern under Uruk.
• The cutscenes where you, Siduri, and the Servants are hanging around the building King Gilgamesh gave you are made hilarious by all the Servant's big personalities. At one point, you can mention that it's like living in a dorm room, with Dr. Roman saying that it's turned into "Keeping Up with the Chaldeans".
• Anything to do with Jaguarman, an even-crazier-than-usual Taiga in a goofy costume.
  • When you first encounter her, you can either order the Servants to take out the local wildlife or point out that Jaguarman must be the goddess of the south. For the first option, Ana states a tiger massacre is incoming, and for the second, Mash urges you not to say it lest it turn out to be true.
• After Gilgamesh convinces you to use him to fight Assassins, the final enemy is a Rider for seemingly no reason but to screw with Gil. The king is not amused.
  Gilgamesh: I'd already forgotten about that. You two forget about it as well. Stop being pests.
• When Tiamat first appeared, everyone is unable to move, the player can choose to calm down either Mash or Merlin, the latter of which who is advised to taking deep breaths through his "gills", the player is panicking as well, that they mixed up his name with "Merman".
  • Merlin tries to stall Tiamat so that the player can escape by boasting his immortality, only for her to reveal that she has something against him. He quickly begs the player to not let him die^note  Which was for a good reason as he's currently keeping the real Tiamat asleep .
• While posing as Ishtar, Ereshkigal finds herself jealous because the protagonist was getting too chummy with Quetzalcoatl. She gets mad with them, leading to her making quite the note to self:
  Ereshkigal: When [protagonist] becomes friendly with another goddess, inflicting physical pain will dispel my depression...
• When Merlin realizes that Jaguar Warrior is working alongside Quetzacoatl as a Rogue Servant so that she can freeload, he immediately instructs the protagonist to try recruiting her. Jaguar Warrior overhears and says that trying to recruit her's impossible, but she'll give them a chance anyway. All you have to do is say a single cheesy compliment on her beauty and she immediately joins your side, calling herself your older sister.
  • Shortly afterwards, the Werejaguars attack over being betrayed by Jaguar Warrior. She teases them about changing jobs before suddenly changing into her Third Ascension outfit and yelling at them for touching civilians in a stereotypical mobster accent. It shocks Ishtar enough that the Rin part of her prompts her to call Jaguar Warrior "Miss Jaguarmura".
• When you arrive at Ishtar's Temple, you have the option to turn around and leave as if you weren't paid enough to process Ishtar's taste of choices. You have just defeated 3 ugly guards with names that have nothing to do with them and now you see the grand temple of Ishtar... with Maneki Neko statues out front. Where did she even get them! They're in ancient Babylonia, they're practically haven't been invented yet
• The method of how Chaldea managed to recruit Ishtar to their side: giving her a lot of gems. Then threatening to take the gems away from her when she hesitates and watching a Divine Spirit be reduced to begging like a child whose toys are about to be taken away. The kicker is Fou mocking Ishtar for being so easy to bribe with jewels.
• SKY HIGH PLANCHA is simultaneously hilarious and awesome. As the fight with Quetzalcoatl drags on, Roman offers the protagonist a plan to take her down... only for them to opt for a completely different option: enlist Ishtar's help to pull off the bodyslam of the century in an attempt to appeal to her love for both humanity and lucha libre. Ishtar even overdoes it and ends up dropping the protagonist at a height of a hundred meters. You get the option to either scream obscenities at her while falling, or go the whole hog and call your attack in glorious fashion.
• Gilgamesh dies midway through the story while processing the paperwork in preparation for Gorgon's invasion. Because of this, you have to go to the underworld to retrieve his soul. That's right: Gilgamesh died from overwork.
  • Even funnier when you remembered him saying that Ishtar will be the one to die by exhaustion.
• While going to the underworld to fetch Gilgamesh's soul, Ishtar has to shrink in size with each gate they pass.^note In Mesopotamian legend she had to take off a piece of clothing after passing through each gate, but even for this game which pushes the boundary with some of its art, couldn't do that so this is a substitute. This is even reflected in gameplay with her sprite being increasingly tinier with every battle for that chapter. When you use her NP, Venus is positively huge compared to Ishtar, by the time you battle Ereshkigal, you can't even see her when she launches Venus.
• The first gate asks the protagonist who is more beautiful, Ishtar or Ereshkigal, to Ishtar's shock and annoyance. If you decide to pick Ishtar to be a troll, the gate yells "IDIOT" and the resulting fight has all the enemies be Lancers with the strongest one named Ishtar Murder.
• After the second gate asks a similar question, Mash points out that battles become easier if you answer in favor of Ereshkigal. Ishtar cuts her off and preemptively rejects the obvious suggestion, not only refusing to back down on the matter of being better than all other goddesses, but specifically hating the idea of losing to Ereshkigal in particular.
• After fighting past a few of the gates, the game zips on through the rest, complete with chipmunk voices and a progressively shrinking Ishtar.
• In order to weaken the Gorgon, Merlin tricks Quetzalcoatl into throwing Marduk's Axe at Gorgon's Temple. After refusing to throw the axe because of the pact she had made not to attack other temples, Merlin asks her to throw the axe nearby and he will handle the rest. Turns out Merlin enchanted the axe to zero in on his position, so it hits the temple anyway. Quetzalcoatl gets a blast from heaven and loses half of her divinity (and that's only because it was a legitimate accident; it's implied she would have been killed if she knowingly did that). In the epilogue of Babylonia, she gives Merlin a very painful cobra lock as payback for this.
• When Gilgamesh calls the heroes on the status of the Holy Grail and demands to know what happened in simple terms, one of the options is darkly-humorous:
  "Tiamat got the Grail. We're boned."
• The heroes need three days in order to prepare for an attack on Uruk, but Tiamat is predicted to arrive within two, meaning that the heroes somehow need to figure out how to stall for one more day. At this point everyone decides to use the Bull of Heaven, Gugalanna, only for Ishtar to awkwardly reveal that she somehow lost it. Gilgamesh is not amused to say the least, and in the next scene, she's being punished with holding a tablet saying "I am a worthless goddess".
  • Hilariously, it turns out Ishtar didn't exactly lose Gugalanna per se - it's just that her Alternate Self Filia pulled Gugalanna out of the Singularity into the world of Fate/strange Fake to do battle with Gilgamesh and Enkidu for what amounts to a temper tantrum, figuring since it was a world "not connected to anything" there wouldn't be any issue.
• Notably, said plan to dump Tiamat into the Underworld should have taken ten years to set up. It only takes three days because Ereshkigal had decided to dump Uruk into the Underworld a long time ago, to Gilgamesh's consternation.
• Merlin has a specific incantation to launch a flare in order to signal Quetzlcoatl:
  Merlin: Special Britain Spell: Altria, It's Time For Dinner!

Solomon

• Kintoki shows up to help the London group of Servants fight off Barbatos, screams "GORGEOUS GOLDEN RIDER, HENSHIN!" and transforms into his Rider version. Everyone else is taken aback by this.
• Blackbeard actually puts on a decent show, skillfully commanding his Queen Anne's Revenge in a team attack with Drake's own Golden Hind against Forneus, and even manages to look cool for a while. And then he suffers the most humiliating wound in the game.
  Teach: MY ASS! MY ASS IS ON FIRE!
• Speaking of Blackbeard, when the battle with Forneus begins, Forneus is going on and on about rejecting and repudiating the concept of humanity. Blackbeard shows up and tries to make a dramatic speech, only to have to duck and cover from a sudden flurry of attacks from Forneus. The Demon Pillar then says: "You, especially, we repudiate." Seems even the Demon Gods have some standards.
  • It even breaks out of its character to corrects Blackbeard that he's a ray? and not a squid.
• Artemis shows off her archery and asks Orion for his opinion, his response was a monotonous sarcastic praise which riles her up. This somehow leads to Orion receiving 4 messages from other goddesses, at least we can tell who's one of them sent is.
  You've got to be kitten me!
• Atalanta is slowly losing her mind with David trying to flirt with her and the goddess she worships( while having a lover's quarrel), and just opt with thinking her main motivation.
• Jason was dragged to the last battle by Medea Lily and freaks out over how he's going to die. Not long after, he actually shows a backbone, commanding the Argonauts with a solid strategy and showing that he really does qualify as a Heroic Spirit after all. Then, the adult Medea shows up.
  Jason: GYAHH! It's the real one! This must be a nightmare! Two of them, two of them at the same time!
• Turns out Eric Bloodaxe could talk normally all along. He usually doesn't because his wife Gunnhild gets jealous when he talks to pretty girls and tries to curse them. He's a Berserker anyway, so it's not like people expect him to speak up.
• Ozymandias wanders into the battle with Amon viewing the entire situation as a very boring vacation, complete with Nitocris trying to keep him from abandoning everyone else to the fight. Then Arash shows up, apologizing for being late. Beat. Cue Ozymandias loudly complaining the protagonist hasn't sent him off to the front lines yet, insisting Arash fight right beside him.
• All the way back in Orleans, Dr. Roman often consulted with a virtual idol, Magi☆Mari, for advice, and she would always give gleefully scary and cheerfully nihilistic responses. In the Final Order, Merlin mentions that he can't exactly join in the final battle because not only would he steal all the other Servants' thunder, he's too busy updating his Magi☆Mari virtual idol website. Then he tells you that he looks forward to meeting them and promotes the pickup gacha as the way to meet him.
• Mysterious Heroine X didn't quite get the memo about cooperating to save humanity's future, thinking she's in another event and simply wondering where the nearest Saber is for the usual reasons. This nearly results in Void Shiki decapitating her on sight. (For players who are also confused about her presence, it will instantly be made clear upon seeing what Demon Pillar Andromalius' Class is...)
• In the NA version, when the players got rid of Information Center Flauros, the entire server crashed and all the players were kicked out. The jokes wrote themselves. ^note Of course the real reason is much more mundane: Flauros was coincidentally defeated at the same time the weekly Master Missions update was supposed to go out. Because a ton of people were online farming pillars, the server got bogged down with everyone trying to receive the Master Missions update and couldn't handle the traffic.
• Fans quickly took notice that Forneus's most infamous skill was localized as "The Time of Drifting Hath Come." It didn't take long for Multi-Track Drifting memes featuring Forneus to flood the NA fan communities.