Funny / Fate/Cero

The series proper

Episode 1

• The very first line: "Look what I found inside of me!"
• In the first episode, we get Kariya's Large Ham tendencies and Zouken's reaction to it.
• "You're Move, Teach Drrrrrrrrr!"^note The context is when Weaver attempts to troll Kayneth with the entire manuscript of A New Hope, prints it out and puts it on his desk with the title "You're Move, Teach Drrrrrrrrr!"
• How does Caster get the inspiration for his first kill upon summoning? By watching an episode of My Little Pony.

Episode 2

• Lancer tries to distract an enemy with his mole. It does work, but not on Saber.
  Irisviel: My panties are sooaaaked...
• Lancer intentionally being annoying with his voice, which angers Kayneth to the point where—
  Kayneth: Aw, hell no! By my Command Seal I order you to never do that voice again!
• Berserker scandalizing Saber with his ridiculous use of Cluster F-Bombs.
  Saber: It's good to see you old friend, but... Why would you materialize in The Berserker Class?
  Berserker: F**K YOU ARTHUR I'M SO DONE WITH YOUR WHITE-KNIGHT F**GOTRY!!!
  Saber: Sir Lancelot!
  Lancelot: YOU AND YOUR MIRROR POLISHED WHITE-KNIGHT C**KS!
  Saber: SIR LANCELOT!
  Lancelot: I can see my face in that shit!
• Kiritsugu asking Irisviel if Saber is okay in the most Deadpan voice making him sound like Archer.
• When all of the servants are hiding, Iskander manages to get them to reveal themselves.
  Rider: In fact, I'm just gonna say it. Anyone hiding right now...
  *Beat*
  Rider: Totally gay.
  Berserker: *bursting from the ground* NOW HOLD ON THERE!!!
  Archer: I've got something to say!
  Kayneth: Look! Look! Here I is! Ya see?! E-e-everybody, see!?
  Kiritsugu: *still hiding* I don't care. I'll suck dick. Single life, baby...
• Anything that comes out of Lancelot's mouth.
  Lancer: Hey Berserker, I bet I can Lance-a-lot more than you~
  Berserker: That pun... physically hurt me.
  Lancer: Ya mad~?
  Berserker: ALL THE TIME!!!
  Archer looks down at Berserker, who looks up at him.
  *Beat*
  Berserker: WHAT, F**GOT!?
• Iskandar's rather accurate explanation of Lancelot's Knight of Owner.
  Rider: So that's his ability. Whatever he grabs onto becomes metal as fuck.
  Berserker: NO YOU N***ER, MY NOBLE PHANTASM IS WHATEVER I TOUCH!!!
  Rider: Yeah my idea's better.
  Berserker: WHEN I GRAB MY C**K, IT BECOMES MY NOBLE PHANTASM! AND MY ABILITY BECOMES F**KING B***HES AND C**T SPLASHING!
  Saber: *very strained* SiR lAnCeLoT!!!
  Berserker: THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS, YOU'VE SEEN IT!

Episode 3

• The entirety of Irisviel's Drives Like Crazy tendencies in the intro:
  Saber: [whimpering] I am a brave and gallant knight...
  Irisviel: Faster! Harder! Lanceeeerrr... [eyes roll up] Saber, I can't see! [heart eyes]
  Saber: You're not allowed to say that!!
  Irisviel: I can't unorgasm myself! Which way do I turn?
  • When they first encounter Caster on the road... they don't realize it's a Servant at all, thinking it's a very odd bystander while honking the car's horns.
  Saber: Oh, he has to know we want him to move.
  Irisviel: Go see what he wants.
  Saber: Alright, fine. *Opens door*
  Caster: Uuuaaauuuaaauuuaaa!
  Saber: *Closes door* I tried, Irisviel, I fucking tried, you saw that, he's weird, he's really weird!
• Rider's Dynamic Entry to Kiritsugu's house and offers Saber wine.
• Caster rants over Saber and Iri's reaction to him, then asks Ryuunosuke if he's weird. Ryuunosuke dodges the question by saying that they're friends, whereupon a furious Caster accidentally blows off the top of their hideout.
• Gilgamesh offers his wine to Rider, to the point he got completely intoxicated.
  Rider: Tight spaces that aren't VAGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINA!!!
  • Rider ends up invoking his Noble Phantasm over his claustrophobia, and after the initial epic introduction the Ionioi Hetairoi dissolve into confusion when they realize there isn't anything to fight but sand.
• Sola and Kayneth's Distracted by the Sexy issues with Lancer's mole, and their...ahem... problems with it.
• When Kiritsugu had Kayneth's hotel blown up:
  Kayneth: Lancer hold me!
  Sola-Ui: Hotels.com you have failed me agaaaaaaaaain!
• Saber, Rider, and Gilgamesh being completely wasted.
• When Kayneth raids Kiritsugu's mansion and ranting, Kiritsugu shoots him to shut him up. And repeatedly keeps shooting at him.
  Kayneth: I HATE YOU!!!
  Kiritsugu: I promise it's more fun from my end.
  Kayneth: *Rage Breaking Point* AAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!! *sets off an explosion in a couple of sections in the mansion*
• Kiritsugu defeating Kayneth using an Origin Round and Kayneth suffers a really bad reaction. Double points for the Friends theme song playing.
• Kiritsugu discovering the Servants being wasted especially Saber, then commands her to sober up, to Gilgamesh's ire
  Gilgamesh: You cock-blocking shit, I was working on that girl all night!
  Kiritsugu: *Points his gun at Gil* Get out of my courtyard.
• After showing Caster her resistance to magic:
  Saber: Your magic ain't shit!
  Caster: *Beat* Look everyone, I'm a chameleon! Alolololololololo! *disappears*

Episode 4

• The exchange between Lancer and his Master at the beginning, which quickly goes south as Kayneth tries to talk strategy while having a bowel failure.
  Kayneth: As usual, we're off to a fine start.
• Any scenes with Caster and/or Ryuunosuke were gold here.
  Caster: *buttfucking his Master for a mana recharge* I'M SORRY RYUUNOSUKE!
  Caster: *gets struck by lightning* FUCK YOU, FINGERINGMUFFIN!
  Caster: *having summoned Cthulhu* I'M COMING TO GET YOU, GOD! FUCK YOU CREATION! FUCK IT!
• The fact that Caster is reduced to awkward stammering when asking Ryuunosuke for a mana transfer.
• Lancer's exchange with Sola-Ui before he heads off to war.
  Lancer: Do you know what it's like to be wanted for nothing but your body?
  Sola-Ui: Yes, I do actually.
  Lancer: Well, I don't! Because it's not even my body! Just the mole, that's it, that's all the ladies want! Every time! In this Grail War, with whatever time I have, I'm going to live life with honor and dignity. Not as it was in the past; just a life of sexless sex. Which pretty much equates to nothing.

Episode 5

• As he watches their dogfight overhead, Waver makes the observation that Lancelot and Gilgamesh must have amazing Riding skills.
  Rider: (both times) HE'S STEALING MY THING!
• Lancelot's exchanges with the pilot of the fighter jet he hijacked:
  Berserker: SUP CUCKS! THIS IS MINE NOW!
  Pilot: Wait! I'm not done charging it!

  Berserker: CHANGE THE STATION, ASS-GOBLIN!
  (You Say Run starts playing)
  Berserker: AWW, YEAH! THIS IS EXACTLY MY JAM!

  Pilot: I don't wanna die!
  Berserker: I DO!!!
• Unlike in canon, Tokiomi doesn't get off of Vimana before Gilgamesh starts dueling Lancelot in midair:
  Gilgamesh: Just a friendly reminder Tokiomi, you should probably hang on to something! (silence) Tokiomi?
  Tokiomi: (screaming as he falls to Earth)
• Tokiomi flubs his scepter toss.
• Kariya accuses Tokiomi of preferring Rin to Sakura.
  Tokiomi: I did not say that. Don't put words in my mouth. [Kariya vomits Crest Worms] Don't put worms in your mouth.
• What's Kariya's Pre-Asskicking One-Liner?
  Kariya: Feeeeeel the suck!! Dadddyyyyyy!!
• Tokiomi planning out an elaborate plan involving, among other things, creating a fake dummy of his own corpse and hiring Kariya to murder his wife, all so he can avoid having to pay his debts by faking his death. Kirei ends up killing him for real.

Behind the scenes

Episode 2 Outtakes

• PurpleEyesWTF's outtakes could make their own series from his hysterical laughter at Berserker's obscenities, to his method acting, as well as this exchange:
  *After PurpleEyesWTF has attempted a few screaming takes for the scene where Berserker charges Saber with a pole*
  Omnibenefical: Maybe some visualisation techniques will help. Now I want you to imagine yourself on your knees in front of some guy, you're about to-
  PurpleEyesWTF: *bursting into laughter* What the fu-
  Omnibenefical: Listen to me! Let me finish!
  PurpleEyesWTF: *still laughing* I don't like where this is going!
  Omnibenefical: LET ME FINISH DAMN YOU!
  They finish laughing
  Omnibenefical: ...so you're about to suck him off, right?
  PurpleEyesWTF: FUCKING WHAT?
  *hysterical laughing*
  PurpleEyesWTF: YOU SAID IT WAS GOING TO GET BETTER! YOU SAID HEAR YOU OUT!
  Omnibenefical: I didn't say that, I said "let me finish"!
  PurpleEyesWTF: *groans* Alright, fine.
  Omnibenefical: *continuing* -but you don't. You just grab his cock *Beat* and scream at it.
  PurpleEyesWTF bursts out laughing again
  Omnibenefical: Now with that in mind-
  PurpleEyesWTF: Thank you, oh that makes me waaaaay better!
  Omnibenefical: -aaaaaand, go!
  PurpleEyesWTF: *Hysterical laughing* REALLY!?!?
  • And if you listen closely, you'll notice that it's the take Omni actually used. Apparently that visualisation technique really worked.
• Omnibeneficial has Alifluro (Saber) doing battle grunts. Naturally Omni lampshades it.
  Omnibeneficial: Hm, those could be edited in a very nefarious way.

Episode 3 Outtakes

• Much of the humor from these outtakes comes from Alifluro and Omnibeneficial's mature and sophisticated sense of humor.
  Omnibeneficial: I swear when we started there was voice acting going on.
• The Enforced Method Acting segments, where the cast get drunk for the character's drunken moments. Omni and Ali have counters of how many shots they took, while TheKazmat has "Probably too much Rum".
• TheKazMat's unexpected line that was thrown in. It left Omni cracking.
  TheKazMat: You sterilizing bitches! The world is my fucking oyster! And I fffucked it 'til it was circle!
  Omnibeneficial: *Hysterical laughter* "I fucked it 'til it was circle!?"
• At 15 shots, Ali stays completely silent for a while. Omni wonders if she suddenly passed out. She actually turns up fine the next segment.
• Omnibeneficial's visualization technique for Jadethefirefox (Irisviel) in the car driving segment.
  Omnibeneficial: There's a vibrating dildo in your vagina and you're being forced to drive a car at the same time.
• Jadethefirefox trying to go for a Spit Take in one segment. She does spit out for real (well she tried), and everyone breaks down from how she was so into it.
• The segment where Saber and Irisviel see Caster.
  Alifluro: I tried Irisviel, I tried... I forgot the "fucking"~...
  Omnibeneficial: "I forgot the 'fucking'"... *laughter*
  Alifluro: Damn it, ugh, I never forget the fucking.
  Omnibeneficial: *Impersonation* "Damn it. Ugh, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob but I forgot the fucking! I always forget the fucking!"
• Alifluro and Omnibeneficial discuss the ramifications of a lake full of cum.
  Omnibeneficial: Your sensual sweet talk somehow led us to a lake full of semen. I hope you're proud! Because that's the first time I've ever uttered that sentence.
  Alifluro: I am proud. I am proud. Very proud.
  Omnibeneficial: And probably won't be the last...
• Frank.
  Omnibeneficial: Well, we are at the 'talk about imaginary guy named Frank' drunk.
  Alifluro: Hey! Frank is my microphone and microphone stand!
  Omnibeneficial: I know who Frank is! Don't think I don't know!
  Alifluro: Then you leave him out of this! You leave Frank out of this!
  Omnibeneficial: "What is you talk?! You think you am HMMMMMM?!"
  Alifluro: Frank listens to me when I talk!
  Omnibeneficial: Exactly! It's his job! You can't see that, can you Alifluro?!

Episode 4 Outtakes

• The entirely of PurpleEyes and Omni syncing with each other and Omni gives him a visual cue on the scene where Berserker strangles Kariya while he's naked. Meanwhile PurpleEyes goes off-rails involving Dr. Pepper and Twizzlers.
• Takahata 101 (Kirei) suddenly breaking out into Christian Rock.
  Takahata10Fun: You are not my king! 'Cause my God is an awesome god, He reigns from heaven above!
• The segment where Taka coaches his sister MontyGlu while Omni sits there.