Funny / Cinema Therapy

Who says they can't find healing through laughter? While Alan and Jono find ways to help us heal emotionally and mentally, they also know how to bring on the laughs.

---

Harry Potter

• Their "Harry Potter Vs Bullies" video starts out with an outtake, where the intro is ruined because Chewie the dog is doing some grooming and the noises are picked up by the camera.
• In their analysis of Gilderoy Lockhart, Jono himself does a near-perfect impersonation of Lockhart himself, much to Alan's amazement and slight horror.
  Alan: I am disturbed at how well Jono knows Lockhart's lines.
  • In their rundown of how to identify and deal with narcissists, Jonathan hits us once again with another spot-on impersonation, which even wins over Alan himself!
  "Jonderoy Deckhart": "Come here, Harry. Together you and I make the front page." (flashes a smug grin)
  Alan: Wow, you really are good at that.
  Jonathan: I know, I told you. The only thing I was missing... was a little wink. (winks at Alan, accompanied by a grin)
  Alan: Oh boy. I... actually feel charmed.
  Jonathan: I know. Thank you.
  Alan: I do feel charmed by that.
• In "Villain Therapy: Severus Snape," Alan presents Jonathan with the most backhanded of compliments: "You do not have the curse of knowledge."
• In their video on Voldemort, Jonathan likens the way Voldemort kills Snape to getting rid of an old lawnmower, to which Alan says this:
  Alan: And you had a lawnmower eating snake.
  Jonathan: *laughing* Wha- yes.
  Alan: *his face now morphed through editing* Nagini, eat the lawnmower!
  Jonathan: *still laughing* What... what is happening right now?
  Alan: I don't know, you're the one who brought up the lawnmower!"
  

Pixar/Disney Movies

• In the Brave review, there's a highly emotional moment when Jonathan discusses his late mother and how well she raised him, and the importance of treating your kids as people. Both of them seem on the verge of crying...and then Alan undercuts the whole thing by saying that his kids aren't people, they're weird aliens. Cut to a video of his kids playing in the leaves with a scare chord played over.
  • Also: Alan smells like a bear. A wet bear. Cause he's part bear.
  • And the scottish accent he's affecting.
• Beauty and the Beast
  • At one point Alan start's putting a little too much thought into the "Be Our Guest" number, namely how many enchanted object's there are in that one scene alone and wonders if they were all people, or did some of the object just come to life when the curse was placed and if breaking it resulted in genocide.
    Jonathan: (cracking up) This suddenly feels like the worst Reddit thread that I ever visited.
    Alan: That's me! Alan Seawright! Human Reddit thread.
  • The Yelp! review. "At first I was creeped out by the talking, singing monster-house but then the dancing BEERS showed up!"
  • This bit.
    Jonathan: The power of the story is; What is love?
    (cut to Jono and Alan bobbing their heads as the Haddaway song plays)
• Big Hero 6 episode starts with the guys imitating Baymax and Hiro, segues into Jonathan trying not to crack up over Alan's mistakes, and later has them discuss Alan's shoe closet.
  Alan: (petting the dog) Hairy baby. Haaairy baby...
• In the video where Jonathan ranks various Disney relationships, they make a joke about how Prince Florian's name makes him sound like he should be the son of a dentist, complete with a fake advertising slogan.
• In The Little Mermaid (1989) Alan points out the jarring time skip to Ariel finding out Eric was marrying a disguised Ursula to the wedding that evening, wondering what the heck Ariel was even doing the entire day when she has a time limit. Jono's answer is another plug for the episode's sponsor.
  Jonathan: She was probably taking a breakup nap on her mattress from Helix Sleep dot com!
  (rimshot)
  Stock Audio: Yay!
• Up is Jonathan's kryptonite, i.e. makes him cry. They both cry a lot (and joke a lot) in this episode, and the "curse you, Pixar!" makes a comeback. Several comebacks.
• Elemental (2023): It Makes Sense In Context. Honest.
  Jonathan: You attract more honeys if you fly.
  • Damn you, Pixar!
  • Stuffing your fat little faces with popcorn.
• Them having loads of fun commenting on WALL•E:
  Alan: WALL-E is a very curious young man. (Beat)

The monologue segues into adoring Alan's hair:

Jonathan: Just sit there and look pretty.

• The also compare the story to Alan's love life. A lot.

• In Tangled gaslighting episode there's a short demonstration:
  Jonathan: (charismatic cult leader voice) All other voices are untrustworthy... you maggot. But you're also beautiful and we treasure you.

Star Wars

• In "Villain Therapy: Anakin Skywalker," when it comes time to discuss Anakin's issues with anger management, they show a montage of him killing and/or attempting to kill various characters throughout the Skywalker Saga to the song, "Bodies" by Drowning Pool. Which then gets a reprise when Jonathan discusses catharsis, as an example of what not to do.
  • In the same episode, after a clip of Vader's Big "NO!" is shown as an example of how to properly process your emotions, we cut to Alan sucking his thumb and clutching his blanket while Jonathan just laughs at the former's reaction.
• After Alan's rant on his dislike of the Prequel Trilogy movies, Jonathan brings out a figure of Darth Vader and asks Alan to point on the figure where they hurt him.
  Jonathan: You know what? Okay, that's it.
  (Jono brings out kid-sized figure of Darth Vader.)
  Alan: What is this?
  Jonathan: Tell me on the Sith lord where the prequels hurt you. I want you to point.
  Alan: (points towards Vader's chest) He hurt me here. (points towards Vader's helmet) And he hurt me here. (circles his index figure around Vader's abdominal area) And a little bit in the tummy.
  (Jono puts Vader away)
  Jonathan: Alright. Now doesn't that feel better?
  Alan: No! It still hurt me.
• And why does Alan dislike the prequels?
  Alan: They're coarse, they're rough and they get everywhere.
• On that note:
  Jonathan: Padme, you had a better option!
• Regarding Luke Skywalker acting Out of Character in that flashback in The Last Jedi (when they argue that he actually has not):
  Alan: That's the lukiest Luke that ever luked!

The Twilight Saga

• The Cold Open of the first video shows us just what we're in for.
  Edward: I'm designed to kill.
  Bella: I don't care.
  Alan & Jono: WHY!?
  Edward: I've killed people before.
  Jono: RUN!
  Bella: It doesn't matter.
  Jono: WHY!?
  Alan: "I am a murderer." "Fine."
  Bella: I trust you.
  Alan & Jono: WHY!?
• The thumbnail for Part 1 of New Moon is Team Edward vs Team Jacob but with a shirtless Jonathan in the middle with the sign Team Nope.
• In Part 2 of their New Moon analysis, they deliberately misinterpret Bella's request for Jacob to stay in her life as a request for a poly-amorous relationship. Alan suggests that they write a thinly-disguised fanfic with this premise and make millions off of it. Jonathan says they could do it, but they'd lose their souls in the process. Which leads to Alan questioning whether their immortal souls are worth millions.
• Throughout both parts of the New Moon analysis Jonathan has a difficult time understanding some of the lines spoken and often asks Alan what was just said. The three leads, mostly Bella, mumble their lines so bad they toe the line into becoming The Unintelligible. So both Jonathan and Alan sign off the video muttering something completely unintelligible before they start cracking up.
• During the New Moon analysis the captions refer to Edward as "Sparkles" and Jacob as "Wolfy."
• In the opening moments of their review of Eclipse, Jonathan makes light of Bella in flannel and compares her to a lumberjack because she's making "a block of wood" (Edward) fall for her.
  • Once Bella changes her clothing to beige at the ending, the two joke that she graduated to it because she gained the slightest bit of free will.
• Alan and Jonathan refer to the books as either "the literature", "extended pamphlets", or "brochures".
• Throughout the review, there is a scoreboard for things Jacob and Edward do, with Jacob gaining and losing points for everything he does, and his points nose-diving straight into negative infinity when he forcefully kisses Bella without her consent.
• Jono equates Edward and Jacob's argument over Bella to the seagulls who shout "Mine!"
• In part 2 of their analysis, after Jacob makes his comment about how much "hotter" he is than Edward, Alan and Jonathan squee like teenage girls.
• After Edward proposes to Bella, both Alan and Jonathan agree that it was pretty bad as far as proposals go thanks to the melodramatic dialogue and the wooden line delivery. Alan points out that he fell down a hill immediately after he proposed to his wife and it was still better than Edward's. Apparently this was the first time Jonathan heard about it.
  Jonathan: (trying not to crack up) Did you really?
  Alan: Did you not know this?
  Jonathan: No! Like in Hot Rod?
  (Cuts to Rod screaming as he falls down a hill)
  Alan: Very nearly. I almost went full Hot Rod down the hill.
  (Cuts to another clip of Rod screaming as he continues falling down the hill)
• Jonathan throws a bottle at the screen during the scene where Edward and Jacob are talking while Bella sleeps in the tent.
  Alan: Can we throw things at the screen?
  (Jono tosses an empty bottle around the camera's vicinity)
  Alan: That was pretty weak.
  Jonathan: I didn't wanna hit anything.
  Alan: I know, there's microphones and cameras.
• Jonathan and Alan go dead silent out of frustration over Jacob constantly urging that he's better suited for Bella than Edward is.
• After Jacob storms off after catching wind of Bella marrying Edward, he states that he's done with all of it, with Alan and Jono agreeing to his sentiments.
• Jonathan takes out the cup-holders from his seat and covers his ears after Jacob stubbornly insists that he would be better for Bella.
  (Jonathan pulls out the cup-holders in his seat and covers his ears with it)
  Alan: Are you pulling the cup-holders out? What is happening to you?!
  Jonathan: I can't listen to this anymore! This is terrible!
  Alan: So you're destroying the furniture?
  Jonathan: No one needs to know. (puts cup-holders back in) Good as new.
• In Part 1 of their Breaking Dawn analysis, after Edward tells Jacob that if Bella dies, he'll get what he wants. Jonathan's guess? "Seven minutes in heaven with Mr. Sparkle."
• While there's a lot of Fun with Subtitles (Jacob is "Wolfy", Edward is "Sparkly", and Bella is "Fangtastic Wife" among others), it's taken up to eleven when Aro arrives, with every single one of his lines having a different nickname.
• Jonathan's "Eureka!" Moment in "Relationship Expert reacts to RED FLAGS in TWILIGHT" — these movies are Robert Pattinson's Batman auditions.
  Jonathan: He [Edward] courts Bella the way Batman terrifies criminals!
  • And then he proceeds to compare Edward's wooing techniques to Batman's psychological warfare tactics, upon which Alan comments:
    Alan: He's Batman as a boyfriend.
    Jonathan: So Edward Pattison as Batman is actually a very good idea.
    Alan: That's best casting ever.
  • And the conclusion to the episode:
    Jonathan: We haven't even touched Jacob yet. And neither has Bella.

Other

• Their video on James Bond mostly consists of them roasting the titular character several different ways for being a misogynistic, sex-crazed maniac who frankly isn't even a good spy.
  Alan!Bond: Hello, I am an international superspy.
  • After several cases where Bond prioritized sex over the mission, the lives of his partners, and his own life, Jono concludes that Bond has the same standards as The Lonely Island guys. "She tried to kill me!" "Doesn't matter, had sex!"
  • When discussing the May–December Romance, Alan wonders what older women see in younger men and demonstrates this with a picture of himself and Helen Mirren in the classic Titanic pose, then a version where they swapped places and the picture of Alan is a terrible one of himself as a twenty year old.
  • Alan referring to James Bond as a "front ass", and they crack up at the mental image.
• In their video on The Addams Family, when watching the auction scene where Morticia and Gomez get so caught up they start foreplay in front of a crowd, Jonathan wonders how they haven't been arrested for public indecency yet. They conclude that the Addams have paid off the cops.
  • Alan mentions that he had a huge crush on Christina Ricci after the watching the movie, and even back then he was wondering if there was something wrong with that.
• During part one of their analysis on Katniss Everdeen, Alan tries to remember Caesar Flickerman's name and incorrectly guesses it to be "Pfluger Fleefenbottom". The editing puts in several Spit Takes before putting "#whatthefleef" onscreen.
  • Part 2 of the analysis has Jonathan giving a sweet memory of a friend's advice on public speaking. Alan then responds to this by declaring his method is to picture everyone in their underwear and spend the whole time trying not to get aroused.
  • Shortly afterwards, Alan brings up "front-butt", causing Jono to insist that it's not going to become a thing, leading to a comedic edit of the Mean Girls reference (complete with a "#neverforget" over it) followed by a dedication to the joke via Oogway's death scene from Kung Fu Panda! This also has the hashtag "#RIPfrontass" over it.
• In their heartbreaking review of the Wandavision series, Jonathan and guest therapist Kati Morton have both broken down while remembering their own grief and losses. And Alan comments that he's sad too...because he hasn't gotten to speak in nearly ten minutes, and obviously everyone has come to the video to listen only to him.
• For the Love Actually video, they aren't a big fan of the Mark and Juliet storyline, and for the memetic Talking with Signs scene, Jonathan adds in himself with the sign "RUN" behind him. When discussing the "footage" Mark shot at the wedding of Juliet, Alan decides he doesn't want to know why Mark keeps it, then Jonathan calls it a "stalking stuffer," which just grosses Alan out more.
• In the Train to Busan video, guest Sophie mentions that she loves how clever the characters are and that her "competency kink" was completely satisfied by this movie. Jonathan jokes that Freud was full of crap on how everything ties back to sex... except for Sophie.
  Sophie: Mom, don't watch this!
  Alan: Don't worry, my mom won't watch it either.
  Jonathan: And my mom's dead!
• Villain Therapy: Golum has both guys do Gollum impressions. Jonathan's is really... good.
  Jonathan: If the Baggins loses, we eats it whole!
  • They also posted a full video of Jonathan's Gollum impression.
• The beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark, especially:
  Alan: And part of the reason I need therapy is that Jonathan has made me dress in cosplay.
• A clip with John McClane gets "censored for YouTube" by pasting footage of Teletubbies wriggling their butts over the sound-only violence. And a "Yippee-ki-yay, mothe...".
• In the first Fight Club video, Alan reveals that he was in one of the imitation "fight clubs" that sprung out of the film's release, as the movie came out when he was just the right age and mindset to do it. He's practically cringing out of his skin talking about how dumb it was, and bluntly refers to his past self as a dick.
• The Megamind video, full of cringing at their young selves, Censored for Comedy swearing ("Why do you swear more on children's movies?" "Because it's funnier!") and comparing Alan to cheese.
  Jonathan: His pungency grows with time.
  Alan (deadly serious low voice): The more it stinks, the better it is.
  • Also, Alan mispronouncing "Megamind" and being rude to philosophers (we're not stupid!). And "puppy-punter".
• During the analysis of Peter Parker and Mary Jane in the Spider-Man Trilogy, the editor repeatedly denounces Alan and Jonathan's criticisms of the films and Tobey Maguire's performance.
• In the generally rather serious Batman episode:
  Alan: I love being terrible. It's so easy!
• Star Trek: First Contact episode is a veritable rollercoaster. Humorous highlights include: My Little Brony, "YouTube — the final frontier!", Jonathan's grandpa Simpson impression, and "did you just ''canonize us''?"
• The advertisements, in their all hammy glory. You can't click them over, so it stands to reason they have to be hilarious.
• Stardust:
  Alan: Is it OK to lie to your partner if you're a mouse?
  Jonathan: I'll cross that bridge when I get there.
  • Then he says yes, if you're a mouse you can do whatever you like.
  • While watching Tristan get beaten up by Humphrey, Jonathan muses he had a similar experience asking a girl to prom.
    Alan: What, you got beaten with a stick?
    Jonathan: Yeah. There was fencing.
• "ARAGORN vs. Toxic Masculinity":
  Jonathan: So why does that scene [Aragorn's coronation] tear you up?
  Alan: Because I'm a nancy boy.
  Jonathan: (cracks up)
• The Everything Everywhere All at Once review includes glimpses into Cinema Therapy's alternate universes, none of which are acknowledged by them. There's one where they're both animated, one where they're thumbs with faces drawn on them, one where they're paper-mâché puppets, and one where they're both bagels.
  • And Alan can only love things ferociously.
• Relationship Therapist Ranks Disney Romances 2 This tone of voice...
  Jonathan: Well, tell me about the contestants, Alan.
  • Also the "shirtless Shang covers a multitude of sins", followed by gushing about how muscly Tarzan is.
• During their video on The Notebook, Alan reveals that after working with geese on a project he's developed a deep-seated hatred of the birds. When the main couple row a boat through an enormous flock of geese Alan starts swearing profusely and comparing the scene to The Birds.
  Alan: Geese have stolen God's light!
  • "The Notebook killed my grandparents!"
• 2022 Christmas Episodes deserve a mention for Jonathan's ugly Christmas suit. So loud.
  • And Alan as Swedish Chef in the ad during the Scrooge (from The Muppet Christmas Carol) episode.
• Finding Nemo episode:
  • The seagulls who shout "mine!" making some surprise appearances.
  • Alan explaining As You Know. With light effects.
  • Alan making up "facts" about the movie, to which Jonathan's response is staring, while Chirping Crickets chirp in the background. And Alan audibly blinks.
  • "This whole channel is bull***."
  • The payoff tree.
• The Mitchells vs. the Machines: Alan reminiscing about his own relationship with his mom (similar to Katie and her dad in the movie) and giving us the "Mom Advice Review" (3.5 stars).
• In The Princess Diaries Jonathan's "salty mood" results in funny sniping at each other. Also, Alan rants about the director's choices re: camera placement, especially using the cat's point-of-view.
• Jonathan doing impressions of characters. Especially his "ghiblification" in Kiki's Delivery Service episode.
• Speaking of Kiki's Delivery Service episode, the guys misnaming Tombo as Waldo. "She found Waldo!"
• Howl's Moving Castle episode guest-stars Sophie. Cue her jokes about how she loves Christian Bale telling her she's beautiful.
• The second Indiana Jones episode is a bundle of laughs, especially Jonathan's recommendation that you kill Nazis.
  Jonathan: Kill two of those and call me in the morning.
  • And they're in cosplay again! Also, magic hat.
• In Star Trek (2009) they beam into their chairs and Jonathan goes "pew pew". Also, they're in cosplay. And they sign off with "Live long and prosper".
  • And "Amanda Show" with the following footnote:
  Editor's Note: I have no idea if this is funny bit or not but I'm running a fever and saw this in a spirit vision.
  • Also the sound effects discussion.
• In "Relationship Therapist Ranks 90s RomComs", Alan goes off on Never Been Kissed, especially that fact that the film is titled "Never Been Kissed," the marketing insists it's about a girl who has "never been kissed," and yet Drew Barrymore's character has a line of dialogue saying "it's not like I've never been kissed." His rant is epic, made even more so with Jaws music underscoring it, and being spliced into scenes from V for Vendetta of people watching TV announcements in horror and trepidation.

---