Funny: Black Dynamite

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     The Film 
  • Plenty to choose from, but Black Dynamite's kung fu battle with Richard Nixon might take the cake.
    "SHOWTIME, MOTHERFUCKER!"
  • BD's reaction to being interrupted by a ho is exaggerated...
    Black Dynamite: Euphoria, shut the fuck up! I know that was you! I ain't even gotta look! I should send you to Crenshaw Pete with his hot-ass coat hangers, bitch. Would you like that?!
  • "Haha! I threw that shit before I walked in the room!"
  • "But Black Dynamite, I sell drugs to the community."
  • There is a very subtle joke early on that can take awhile to sink in. When Black Dynamite's aunt shows up at his brother Jimmy's funeral, she says, "Your mother would turn over in her grave if she were alive to see this." Scott Sanders admits in the DVD commentary that he didn't even get the joke until the movie premiered.
  • "CHICKEN AND WAFFLES???"
  • "Anaconda Malt Liquor gives you... Little Richard!"
  • When Black Dynamite, Bullhorn and their entourage of militants arrive on Kung Fu Island, they attempt to go in quietly, until one of the militants pulls a Leeroy Jenkins and starts shooting, foiling their ambush.
  • "I guess you forgot about the time you and Bravo company left my black ass for dead, huh? But I remember. I remember everything. I remember Vietnam like it was yesterday. I remember that village in Tainan that we cut down. It was a massacre. All the dead Chinamen we left in our tracks. I remember the faces, the children. This one child I'll never forget. Poor little bastard was still alive. His little Chinese legs were blown clean off! Still see his little shins & feet hanging from the ceiling fan across the hut. He was charred from his head down to his little Chinese knees. He tried to get up, but he fell over when what was left of his right leg broke off. As he laid there, flat on his face, he looked up at me. His little Chinese eyes burned right into my stomach, deep into my soul. He said something to me in Chinese like, 'Boo coo sow!', sounded like some cartoon shit. But I understood it to be a question that he was asking me. And I don't have to know how to speak Chinese to know what that question was. 'Why, Black Dynamite? Why?'"
    • This gem gets a small callback later when it is revealed Black Dynamite, upon learning that archnemesis Fiendish Dr. Wu was involved in the malt liquor and drugs scheme, speaks Chinese fluently as he insults and provokes Dr. Wu.
  • During the bar fight, Black Dynamite throws his nunchucks off-screen for a moment to fight a couple of mooks. Then he turns around, holds out his hand, and the nunchucks fall back into his fingers.
  • Later in the same fight, when Bullhorn shows up to hold off the last mook, he smacks him in the face with a very audible slap. The mook jerks back, holding his face, and goes "Motherfucker!" before starting toward a very surprised and worried-looking Bullhorn. The hilarity comes a moment later when the scene abruptly changes to show the same mook being played by a completely different actor who is getting the crap beat out of him by Bullhorn. note 
  • "I am 18-year-old Black Dynamite, and you are my sixteen-year-old kid brother Jimmy!"
    • "And you are HIGH as a KITE!"
  • "Donuts don't wear alligator shoes!"
    • The commentary track reveals this to be a bit of a Creator Thumbprint - Michael Jai White does not have any patience for advertising / sports mascots, and will often try to include a scene of them being injured in each of his movies.
  • Black Dynamite is in bed after having having sex with three women at once. They tell him how great he is in bed when Black Dynamite tells them to stop:
    Black Dynamite: Hush now bitches, or you'll wake up the other bitches.
    {Pan over to more women asleep in the bed.}
  • Black Dynamite goes to the hospital after being shot:
    Doctor: You're lucky Black Dynamite. Three inches to the left and we wouldn't even be having this conversation!
    Black Dynamite: Three inches to the right, it woulda missed my black ass.
  • Black Dynamite's grieving after Bullhorn is beheaded by the Fiendish Doctor Wu's boomerang.
    Black Dynamite: Bullhorn! NO! At long last, a friendship bonded by the struggle against The Man has been brought to an end by KUNG-FU TREACHERY! Brother, your death will not go unavenged. FIENDISH DR. WU, YOU DONE FUCKED UP NOW!!!"
  • "I never told nobody this, but I used to be an orphan. And orphans have no parents!"

Animated Series

    Season 1 
Trouble on Puppet Street
  • TKP Kurtis delivers this golden line after delivering a no-hand dick slap to Cream Corn - "It sounded like you had a frog dick in yo mouth."
  • Dennis Flynn: This isn't about the honkies, Black Dynamite! It's about the children!
    Black Dynamite: You know what, Dennis Flynn? I never told nobody this, but...I used to be a children.

Just Beat It or Jackson Five Across Yo' Eyes
  • Black Dynamite's dream sequence followed by no more than four of his bitches asking if he's okay
    First Bitch: What is it Black Dynamite?
    Black Dynamite: Nothing, I'm fine...
    Second Bitch: You need me to get you something?
    Black Dynamite: Naw, naw I'm okay...
    Third Bitch: Is everything alright?
    Black Dynamite: Yeah, it's al-
    Fourth Bitch: Is there something I can get you?
    Black Dynamite: God Dammit, I already told the second bitch 'No'!
  • BD punching out a giraffe in the final battle.

Bullhorn Nights or Murder She Throats
  • In honor of its Blacksploitation roots, a boom mic drops into frame while BD and crew visit a porn set.
  • The flashack to young Bullhorn and his mother who both look and sound the same.
  • Black Dynamite's hilarious Insane Troll Logic when figuring out who killed Ringo. Case in point, it starts with grits and Jell-o, and ends with the Ku Klux Klan and Black Panthers.

Taxes and Death or Get Him to the Sunset Strip!
  • Richard Pryor making a crack about how the Whorephanage was thought up.
    Richard Pryor: Whores and orphans under one roof. Whose idea was this anyway?
    Black Dynamite: ...mine.
    Richard Pryor: Man, did you actually think about this shit before you put the children and the cunts within fucking distance of each other? "Hey little kids, I'm Black Dynamite! I know you all ain't got no parents, so how about I replace 'em with a lifetime supply of pussy?"
    Black Dynamite: THAT IS NOT WHAT I SILENTLY SAID TO MYSELF INSIDE MY HEAD!! (breaks out nunchucks and has to be held back by Bullhorn and Cream Corn) SUY SUUUUUY!! SUY-SUY-SUY!!!
    • It's a bit Harsher in Hindsight when you realize Richard Pryor grew up in a similar sort of situation (he was mostly raised by his grandma, who ran the brothel his mother worked at until she abandoned him at age 10, and his father was rarely around before dying while having sex with a woman).
      • Although given how this series pretty much runs on Deliberate Values Dissonance and Unfortunate Implications — not to mention the fact that Pryor himself was known to joke about this subject matter in his stand-up routines — it's likely that it was intentional.
  • "IRS!!! Noooooooooo!!!"
  • Richard Pryor leaving BD on the street while escaping with 2 Million dollars
    Black Dynamite: What about my taxes, Richard Pryor?!
    Richard Pryor: You better get you some scratch-offs, sucka!!!
  • "Black Dynamite's word and Black Dynamite's balls is all Black Dynamite has in this world. That plus my bitches, my car, my exquisite wardrobe and a bunch of more other shit, but my point is Black Dynamite said he'd get Richard Pryor to the Sunset Strip, and that's exactly what he's going to do!"
  • The entire scene at Donald the Accountant's grave

A Crisis at Christmas or The Dark Side of the Dark Side of the Moon!

Panic on the Player's Ball Express or That's Influenza Sucka!

The Shit That Killed The King! or Weekend At Presley's
  • Basehead manages to slip his way in to see Tricky Dickynote .
    Basehead: Bitch, I'm a basehead! I can get in anywhere! Watch this. (exits the Oval Office through the door, only to pop up to the right of Nixon) POOF!

Apocalypse, This! or For the Pity of Fools AKA Flashbacks Are Forever
  • The fact that Black Dynamite's old friend's "Kurtz" personality...is the Mr. T we all know and love.
  • The punch line being a special appearance by... The A-Team!

Honky Kong! or White Apes Can't Hump
  • A white wolverine devours their guide. A white tyrannosaurus devours the wolverine. A giant white spider devours the tyrannosaurus. Finally, Black Dynamite blows out the spider's brains with a single shot form his pistol.
    Black Dynamite: And that's how you conserve ammo!

The Race War! or Big Black Cannon Balls Run!

That Seed of Kurtis" AKA "Father Is Just Another Word For Motherfucker!

    Season 2 
Roots: The White Album or The Blacker the Community, the Deeper the Roots! or Those Cotton Pickin' Crackers

Black Jaws! or Finger Lickin' Chicken of the Sea
  • Black Dynamite humping his way through the ocean. Yes, Black Dynamite screwed the sea.

Warriors Come Out or The Mean Queens of Halloween

How Honeybee Got Her Groove Back or Sexodus or Night of the Living Dickheads

Sweet Bill's Badass Singalong Song or Bill Cosby Ain't Himself

Mister Rogers' Revenge or Please Don't You Be His Neighbor
  • The ending of the episode has some deliciously dark comedy; over the course of the episode, Black Dynamite's been searching for a way to celebrate the children's collective birthday in a way that won't remind them of the fact that, as orphans, they don't have parents. Ultimately, his sweater duel with Mr. Rogers leads him to realize that he can't hide the kids from said fact, and so vows to make them come to terms with it by bringing them all presents reminiscent of how each orphan's parents died on "Happy No Daddy or Mama That Birthed You Day."
    Black Dynamite: Here you go, Little Orphan Willis! (gives him a little model car) Your parents were killed in a car crash so here's a 1966 Coupe Deville, the same make and model they burned to death in! Here you go, Little Orphan Penny! (hands over a balding black doll complete with a hypodermic needle in the very track marked arm) Your mama was a heroin junkie so we got you a doll with holes in the arms to remind you of why you will never see her again! And Little Orphan Stevie, we got you a pair of track shoes to remind you of how quick your daddy ran out of your life! Now, isn't this the best birthday y'all ever had?
    Honeybee: Dammit, Black— (angry mumbling)
    Black Dynamite: (seeing Honeybee glaring at him, Bullhorn and Cream Corn looking utterly mortified in the back and all the orphans sobbing) ... What?
    Orphan: Black Dynamite, you ain't shit!
  • The first scene the episode has of the whorephanage, where Cream Corn is fondling his nipples in front of a mirror:
    Cream Corn: (talking to himself) You like that? Yeah, you rub 'em a little harder, gonna get some milk.
    Honeybee: (slams the door open) Cream Corn!
    Cream Corn: (quickly hides his chest in his shirt, whimpering) I wasn't doin' nothing!
    Honeybee: Cream Corn, get out here and stop playin' with yourself! Nasty ass...
  • Another Cream Corn moment, more subdued, but amusing nonetheless, when the ATF agents return, slain or otherwise mutilated after their encounter with Mr. Rogers:
    Goddamn, Mr. Rogers did this, too!? I ain't saying "please" or "thank you" for... the rest of my whole fucking life.

American Band Standoff or The Godfather of Soooul Train or Get On Your Goodfellas

Diff'rent Folks, Same Strokes or The Hunger Pang Games
  • Black Dynamite trying to make friends with kids by pulling up to them in his car and offering them candy. The kids run screaming.
  • Black Dynamite wreaking havoc at a Chunky Cheese.
  • Honey Bee, Cream Corn, and Bullhorn partying after Mr. Drummond adopts all the orphans from the Whorephanage (which was shut down due to many health and safety violations).

The Wizard of Watts or Oz Ain't Got Shit On The Wiz