Funny / Adventures in Odyssey

Radio Series

• Wooton is a walking Crowning Moment of Funny in just about any episode he appears in, Jess Harnell's performance really sells it.
• Near the end of the otherwise emotional episode "Connie", when Connie returns to Whit's End, we hear in passing how the Bible Room has been empty ever since Eugene (newly arrived and still getting used to working here) added a display depicting the Spanish Inquisition.
  • Eugene has also changed the menu to a more "healthy" selection, complete with vegetable flavored ice cream (mentioned in Best Face Forward).
• In one of the sketches in the KYDS Radio episode "The Devil Made Me Do It," a criminal pleads not guilty of breaking-and-entering and robbery in court because "the devil made me do it." As he puts it, "He kept talking to me, you know, tempting me, and before I knew it, I was in somebody's house at midnight stuffing a VCR in my pants."
  • "I know it was midnight, 'cause the clock on the VCR kept blinking—you know, "12:00, 12:00, 12:00"..."
• One of the funniest out-of-context lines from "It Ended With A Handshake":
  Eugene: I LEFT KATRINA IN MY LAPTOP!
  • Also, when Eugene realizes that Katrina took the disk full of love letters and journal entries about his feelings for her:
  Connie: He took that better than I thought.
  -cue Eugene screaming from the other room and running off-
  • This exchange:
  Connie: Would I snoop around in something that wasn't mine?
  Eugene: In a heartbeat.
• In "First Hand Experience", when Eugene tries to spin around and randomly point to a place on a map to go to on his "expedition to himself":
  Eugene: My pilgrimage will be to...there!
  Bernard: That's the sign for the women's room.
• In "A Book By Its Cover", Connie and Eugene attempt to tell Jack that they didn't like his painting:
  Connie: Well, maybe "terrible" is too strong a word.
  Eugene: "Wholly inadequate" is a description.
  Connie: "Awful", maybe—
  Eugene: "Amateurish".
  Connie: "Ugly".
  Eugene: "Not suitable for public exposure".
  Jack: Good, just so it isn't "terrible".
• From "Do, for a Change," then-new Christian Eugene's first attempt at saying a blessing before eating at Connie's Bible study.
  Eugene: Dearest Elohim: We know that you were with the army of Jehoshaphat in 2nd Chronicles 20: 1 and following, and when he prepared his army to battle the Ammonites, which were of a great multitude, you told them not to fear; and though the Hebrew is slightly ambiguous in a few of the verses in this passage, we know you tell us the same. And we remember this today when we battle the Ammonites of anxiety, the Jebusites of injustice, the Perizzites of pride and yea, the Syrians of sinfulness. Glorious Yahweh, we see in Paul’s letter to the Thessalonians how he uses eschatological references as the basis for hope that determines the nature of daily life, and in a sense, we should do the same. And we ask these things in the name of our precious Redeemer and Savior, Jesu Christe, Emmanu-el, i.e. “God with us.” Amen.
  Jack: O-kaaaaay. I guess that qualifies as a blessing.
• This exchange, in the otherwise serious Cold Open to "A Name, Not A Number, Part 1":
  Mustafa: Now why would a toy shop need a subsonic transmitter?
  Tasha Forbes: ...It's cheaper than direct dialing?
• Cryin' Bryan Dern's antics in Top This when he hears that Odyssey 105 will flip formats to polka (which is later revealed to be a publicity stunt Dern himself concocted); but especially this scene near the end:
  Dern: This is Cryin' Bryan Dern goin' into my 95th hour of being on the air. Whaddaya wanna do? Maybe I should play a song. Uh...here's one. I can't tell you what it is, because my contact lenses have become a permanent part of my eyeballs and...everything's kinda blurry. I can't seem to get this disk in the player. Forget it. Maybe I should sing a little song...I'll do a little song that my mother used to sing...wow. I never knew my thumb could do this. I know. Let's have a moment of silence for...somebody. Are we at war or anything? Give me some ideas people, will...yes, we have a caller. We have a caller! You're on the air.
  Caller: Yes, my hamster's been kind of sick lately.
  Dern: Perfect. What's your hamster's name?
  Caller: Binky.
  Dern: Great! Let's have about an hour of silence for Binky. Wake me up when you're done.
  • Earlier in the same episode, we get this sequence.
  Dern: "Okay, we still don't have a winner in the 'What is He Saying' contest, I'll play the clip again."
  Singer (played by music director John Campbell) sings gibberish.^note Campbell later admitted in the February 10, 2010 edition of The Official Adventures in Odyssey Podcast that he had forgotten what he sang.
  Dern: "What is he saying?"
  Caller: "I think he said, 'The monkey man has no place in the circle of confusion'?"
• In "The Decision", when Connie finds out from a caller on her radio show that some guy heard about the possibility of Whit leaving on another lengthy trip through Eugene...and Jack and Jason...and Tom and Bernard. She keeps a passive-aggressive cool up until the show signs off:
  Connie: Join me tomorrow for more Candid Conversations With Connie, here on KYDS Radio. YOU'RE LEAVING AGAIN?!
• "Bad Luck": Robyn's dream while recuperating at home after her bicycle crash... at least at first. What's particularly funny about it is the listener isn't aware it's a dream at first, but it becomes obvious once events take a turn for the bizarre, including Robyn's father nailing a horseshoe above the door to the bedroom - without taking it off the horse.
• When Rodney complains that his mother's attempts to make him clean up his dirty clothes will make his gang call him "sissy":
  Doris: Oh, quit your griping. I had a cousin named Sissy once. It's a very nice name.
• Leslie's (exaggerated) account of her first day of sixth grade in "Back to School." Most amusing is her depiction of her teacher, Mr. Garrison, whom she refers to as "Mr. Gutwrench".
  Leslie: Well, we sort of just... hung out.
  Mr. Gutwrench: WHAT? You mean to tell me that you had a total of 84 days summer vacation and all you did was hang out?
  Leslie: Well...
  Mr. Gutwrench: In approximately 2,016 hours all you could manage to do was HANG OUT?
  Leslie: I mean...
  Mr. Gutwrench: You're saying that in 120,960 minutes that your brain cells had a chance to work, all you could think to do was HANG OUT?!?!?!
  Leslie: [weakly] Uh... sometimes we went out for ice cream.
  Mr. Gutwrench: WHAAAAAT?!!!! Listen here, young lady, your homework tonight is to write the words "I will make better use of my time" 220,000 times! And DON'T EVEN THINK OF CHEATING, BECAUSE I'LL COUNT EACH AND EVERY ONE! SIT DOWN AND DON'T START WHIMPERING!!!!!
  Leslie: Yes, Mr. Gutwrench.
  Mr. Gutwrench: Now, who's next? And I mean it. One of you had better have won the Nobel Peace Prize this summerrrrrr!
• "My Fair Bernard" revolves around Bernard trying to make an advertisement to compete against Bart's janitor service while Edwin wants to earn a good review from a drama critic. The two of them end up working together to make a stage-play about Bernard's life calling as a janitor, their improvised brainstorming session is golden.
  Edwin: Think, Bernard, think! Let your mind dwell on the swirling sea of humanity.
  Bernard: The swirling...
  Edwin: The great unwashed masses that populate our teaming plains.
  Bernard: Unwashed masses...
  Edwin: Their stories go untold. Their songs unsung! And yet, if we were to just listen closely, what would we hear?
  Bernard: Huh?
  Edwin: You're story, Bernard, tell me your story.
  Bernard: Uh, from the beginning?
  Edwin: Yes!
  Bernard: Ah, well... I was born.
  Edwin: Born! Born! Your father, was he wealthy?
  Bernard: Eh, no. No, no, he was a janitor.
  Edwin: Aha! He was born a popper to a pawn, with a... squeegee in his hand! What is your earliest memory? Quickly!
  Bernard: The... I-I remember...
  Edwin: Yes! Yes!
  Bernard: I remember... dust.
  Edwin: Dust? Dust! Dust! Yes! As the dust turns to dust, the dust from whence his life began, became the dust of his livelihood!
  Bernard: It did?
  Edwin: Yes! Floating particles, suspended in mid-air, swept away by your might! Powerless against your influence!
  Bernard: They are...
  Edwin: Yes, and the great sea of humanity, those unwashed masses, felt themselves cleansed at your touch! Their dirt and filth caught in the great, swirling undertow of the drain called, conscience!
  Bernard: And... and I unstopped that drain!
  Edwin: Yes! Yes!
  Bernard: And, and... and then I knew what my life calling would be.
  Edwin: That's right! To rise from the dust! Break through the clog! Stand unflappable! And proudly declare...
  Bernard: I. Am. Janitor!'
  • It gets even better when the two of them perform their play in front of an audience, only for Bernard to deliberately go off-script and start plugging his janitor business. Edwin panics and tries to pull Bernard behind the stage curtain... only for it to collapse on top of them in front of a hysterically laughing audience. And the cherry on top? The drama critic that Edwin was trying to impress actually approves of their hilariously failed performance thinking it was an purposeful comedy. (And Bart's customers start going back to Bernard's services too, meaning both men got what they wanted in spite of their hijinks.)
• In "Poor Loser", Eugene surprisingly loses so many chess games to Bernard that he starts to have a nervous breakdown, which culminates in Whit and Connie checking up on him at his dorm.
  Connie: What happened to you?
  Whit: Have you slept at all?
  Connie: Have you showered?
  Eugene: I've done both, actually. Though I can't remember when or where.
  Whit: Well, what in the world are you doing, Eugene?
  Eugene: Uh... research.
  Connie: Looks to me like you're watching TV. What a minute, that's you and Bernard. Oh, look, and there's me! Ugh, why did I have to wear that sweater?
  Whit: You videotaped your chess game?
  Eugene: I'm trying to learn from my mistakes. He's beaten me in six consecutive games.
  Connie: Did he know you were taping him?
  Eugene: Yes. In fact, you'll notice every one in a while he'll lean into the camera and sing "My Darling Clementine!" I turned the sound down.
  Whit: Eugene... you really need to let this go.
  Connie: Yeah.
  Eugene: But Mr. Whittaker, I just can't understand it. How does he keep beating me? Look! Look! Watch this move, right here! He's gonna move knight to rook four, for no reason at all! There! Did you see that?
  Whit: Well-
  Eugene: He has no apparent strategy! It's as if he's moving his pieces completely at random! And somehow he consistently stumbles upon victory!
  Whit: Eugene!
  Eugene: There are times when I'm convinced this is a game he doesn't know the rules for!
  Connie: *gasps* Eugene, you just ended a sentence with a preposition!
  Eugene: Impossible! Prepositions are not words that I end sentences with. Oops.
  Whit: Eugene... I think you need to get some sleep.
  Eugene: You don't seem to understand, the world no longer makes sense! Today, Bernard Walton beats me at chess, tomorrow the earth will revolve around the sun!
  Connie: The earth does revolve around the sun, Eugene!
  Eugene: AAAAAH!
  Whit: W-why don't we just turn this off.
  Eugene: No, wait, watch this move. He'll move bishop to rook three. There! I seriously think he made that move simply to form the letter 'M' with his pieces!
  Whit: 'It's bed time, Eugene.''
  Connie: Do you think we should carry him?
• Jared DeWhite, Odyssey's resident Conspiracy Theorist.
  Jared: Don't you think it's a scam? Who does this? Rides a bike across the country. What if there's a thunderstorm?
  Whit: Well, I imagine he takes shelter when he needs to.
  Jared: I'll tell you what he does. After he bikes through the city, he rides the next 100 miles in an air conditioned camper. Until he gets to the next city. Everybody thinks he's out there working and sweating. When he's really sitting on an exercise bike while he watches TV and eats fig bars!!!!
  • His interactions with Sarah Pratchett are golden.
  Jared: In 1984, the president got on TV. He said children are getting smarter and smarter and soon they'll be smarter than us. So from now on, we'll teach 'em lies. Everyone thought it was a great idea and they've been teaching kids wrong stuff ever since.
  Sarah: You're a sad little boy.
  Jared: And you're just as ignorant as the rest of the youth of America.
• From a behind-the-scenes episode where the directors felt the narrator Chris was acting a little too "perky":
  Chris: I can un-perk it!
  [Beep.]
  Chris: (in a seething monotone) Watch this unperkiness. Hi. This is Chris. Welcome to-
  Director: Oh, please.
  [Chris laughs]
• From "Tornado!":
  Doris Rathbone: Y'know, Bart, we oughta get home, too. We ain't done nothin' to protect our house!
  Bart: There's no protectin' our house as long as Rodney is livin' there.
  Rodney: Thanks, pop!
  • Also from "Tornado!", one of the most quintessential Bart lines:
  Customer: 'Scuse me, you the manager?
  Bart: It depends.
• The entirety of "The Y.A.K. Problem", where the kids are convinced by Nathaniel that a new member of the city council is going to outlaw any and all fun and games throughout the entire city. Hilarity Ensues as the kids attempt to live it up before everything is taken away.
  • Harlow Doyle misinterprets the "Y.A.K" problem as being that Odyssey is going to be invaded by yaks and hatches a plan to send the yaks away.
    Harlow: (as Nathaniel tries to explain what's actually going on) Due to my new-found knowledge [of yaks], I'll come up with a solution to getting rid of all the yaks!
    Nathaniel: Mr. Doyle, it's a new law-
    Harlow: My plan is to gather up all the yaks we can find and calmly explain to them in plain English that they are supposed to be in Central Asia...
    Nathaniel: They've got this new lady on the city council-
    Harlow: ...and just so there's no hard feelings we'll offer to take them back...wonder if they can all fit in the bus...
    Nathaniel: They're taking away all of our ice cream and candy!
    Harlow: (appalled) Huh?! Great Britain Oxen! My book said they only eat plants! I'm taking this book back to the library and I'll come back with a new plan! Harlow Doyle is on the case!
    Nathaniel: Oh boy...
  • In the ensuing chaos from the kids' mass hysteria, Whit's End becomes a total zoo from the massive crowd of kids (hyperactive from binge-eating candy and ice cream) all piling on the inventions and attractions, during which Eugene runs up to an exhausted Whit in a panic to report this:
    Eugene: (out-of-breath) Mr. Whittaker! I need your assistance! I've lost control of the situation! About ten kids tried to stuff themselves into the Imagination Station! I can't get them out! They're having an adventure with George Washington crossing the Delaware and there's so many of them that they're sinking the boat!
  • Nathaniel and the other kids acting hung-over after eating so much candy.
  • After the school assembly where the YAK program is going to be discussed is bumped up a day and the kids think Whit's End is about to be closed down, the kids protest in some rather entertaining ways:
    Pete: What are you doing, Sarah?
    Sarah: I'm tying myself to the monkey bars. If they're going to bulldoze this park they're going to bulldoze me with it! Come on, park-killer, try me!
    Pete: There's nobody even in the bulldozer.
    Sarah: I know. Let me know if somebody actually starts driving it; I don't want to get hurt or anything.
    • "I give you: the yo-yo. It goes down, it goes back up, then it goes down again. To adults, this is a useless plaything, but I tell you: Yo-yos use up time when kids could be breaking various laws! Depleting the ozone layer! Selling military secrets!"
    • Pete later gets in on the protesting:
    Nathaniel: (as kids are urging Pete to stay on) What's Pete doing on the merry-go-round?
    Sarah: He's going on a spin strike. He's going to spin continuously until they repeal the law. So far he's spun for two-and-a-half hours.
    Nathaniel: He's looking kind of green...
    Sarah: He's starting to hallucinate, too.
    Pete: Mar-wy had a wittle wamb...
• The entirety of I Slap Floor.
  • The sheer level of self-referential humor that gets thrown around, especially in regards to Eugene and Connie falling for each other.
  • "Look, Mr. Whittaker, I pierced my own ears just like you told me to!"
• The Live Episode "Mandy's Debut"...pretty much all of it, in particular the first half: a "Rashomon"-Style bit where Eugene, Connie, Bernard, and Mandy are worried about Whit because he hasn't shown up at Whit's End yet after going to the hospital, and everyone blames themselves for it, thinking they had somehow injured Whit enough to send him there. (Connie thinks she gave Whit food poisoning from bad mayonnaise on a sandwich that she fixed him, Mandy thinks a bite wound made by her hamster got infected, Eugene thinks Whit threw out his back trying help Eugene move some boxes, and Bernard thinks Whit injured himself when Whit slipped on some spilled washing fluid.) Hilarity Ensues in their recollections of the stories, particularly the last three ones:
  • Mandy's side of the story: Mandy's hamster viciously bites Whit several times and sends blood everywhere, Bernard is unusually chipper, and then Eugene comes in:
  Eugene: Mr. Whittaker, could you help me move this- (gasp) Oh no! You're bleeding profusely! I believe I am going to pass out...ohhhhh... (wham!)
  • Eugene's side of the story: Everyone is talking like Eugene.
  Mandy: Mr. Whittaker, gaze upon my recently acquired pet!
  Whit: How nice, a small Eurasian rodent known as a hamster...from the middle-German "hamstür"...
  • Bernard's side of the story: In Bernard's account, Whit slips on the spilled soap and goes flying; crashing into things for a good twelve seconds. Whit also acquires Bernard's Deadpan Snarker tendencies:
  Bernard: Whit! Are you alright? I just mopped, it's a little slippery.
  Whit: I think I'm ok...the floor looks great close up, by the way...
  • And then, in the end, Whit finally shows up and explains to everyone that he was actually visiting a friend of his at the hospital. When asked what happened to her:
  Whit: Oh, that poor woman. It's the strangest thing: She ate some bad mayo on a sandwich and got sick, but on the way to the bathroom, she slipped on her freshly waxed floor and knocked over a huge hamster cage. She tried to pick the cage up and threw out her back, and then the hamster escaped and was so mad it bit her on the hand! Can you imagine all of that happening to the same person at the same time?
  (beat)
  Everyone: No!...that's ridiculous...really weird...
• "The Big Deal: Part 2": This episode, the second half of an episode where Aubrey Shepard (upset after her parents - relatively new Christians at this time - object to her performing as the lead in a play that they felt denigrated Christianity and threatened to quit their position on the theater's staff) took an Imagination Station adventure to the time of John the Baptist. Upon meeting Salome, the daughter of Herodias who - under orders from Herodias - performs a sensuous dance and is rewarded with having, again per orders from Herodias, John the Baptist beheaded; Aubrey witnesses Salome dancing and knocking over a vase; with Aubrey noting Salome danced like a klutz. The humorous part is that Salome thinks Aubrey gave her a compliment.
• "Broken Window": During the impromptu "trial" over who broke a window in Whit's End, Rodney unexpectedly calls Mitch ("whatever-your-last-name-is") as a character witness.
  • Even funnier when you remember that Mitch's real name is Robert Mitchell.
    Mitch: Why in the world would you want me for a character witness?
    Rodney: YOU DON'T KNOW ME VERY WELL! ...That helps.
    • Funnier still: They are voiced by the same actor.
  • "I can't get a lawyer that soon; Uncle Louie's in prison for another six weeks!"
• "Break A Leg" is a gold mine. Cal Jordan accidentally crashes his bike into Walter Shakespeare and breaks Shakespeare's leg, leaving him bedridden and unable to assemble the bike race he and Edwin are putting on to promote the Harlequin Theatre, and it could not be plainer that Edwin is nigh-incapable of functioning on his own:
  Edwin: Precisely how do you call a cab, Shakespeare?
  Shakespeare: ...With the phone, sir.

  Edwin (on the phone): No, no, no, I'm not performing. ...Well, you don't have to sound so pleased!

  Edwin: I, on the other hand, may need weeks of recovery—not to mention shock therapy.
  • He has to ask Cal how to run a stopwatch.
  Cal: Is there anything else?
  Edwin: Well...since you're on a roll...how are you with, say...microwave ovens?
  • At the very beginning, as Edwin bemoans the Harlequin's lack of clientele:
  Edwin: Today my soliloquy was interrupted three times by someone snoring. And I'd swear it sounded as if it came from backstage.
  Shakespeare (flustered): Really? Uh...the acoustics can be very deceptive, sir.

  • He also apparently once performed a scene from Hamlet for Shakespeare in the Park while a boombox thudded in the background and found himself rapping the "to be or not to be" soliloquy.

  Shakespeare: It...drew a crowd, sir.

  Edwin: Only because I threw out my back doing the hand gestures!
  • How hilariously plain it is that Cryin' Bryan Dern might prefer any number of excruciating tortures than to be covering this bike race.
  "Edwin Blackgaard, the organizer of the race, looks like he's doing the death scene from Richard III. Or maybe he always looks that way."

  "What could be better than dozens of kids riding their bikes over a nearly impossible track to win a new bike? [indistinguishable muttering] Oh! And a pass to the Harlequin! Other than waiting for my Aunt Edna's varicose veins to heal, I can't think of a thing."

  • Midway through the race:

  "I see two cyclists who have taken the lead. It's, uh...one kid and another kid."
• Alex's grandparents in Relatively Annoying.
  • Grandma Jefferson makes her own ketchup with her feet.
• "Grand Opening, Part 1":
  Alex: Our napkin dispenser might be bugged!
  Sarah: Yup. I knew it'd happen sooner or later. Too many video games. Turns your brain into macaroni and cheese.
• "Do Or Diet" has some absolutely hilarious lines, many within around the first ten minutes:
  Connie: I'm tired of being stuck here. I've been praying and praying!
  Ricky McLean: Hello, hello! And hello again! Isn't it a be-yoo-tiful day?
  Bernard: I think I'll start praying now.
  • As Connie considers taking up personal health training:
  ConnieMaybe that's something I should look into; I'm pretty health-conscious!
  Bernard: Oh, yeah, she walks all the way to the restroom instead of taking the trolley.

  Connie: Maybe this is the answer to my prayer!
  Bernard: If he's the answer to your prayer, I don't even wanna know what you've been praying for.
  • Connie trying to convince Bernard to lose weight:
  Connie: You have less muscle—
  Wooton: —and more fat!
  Bernard (defensively): Yeah, well, Maude calls them "cuddle bundles"!

  Wooton: You can't eat hot fudge without ice cream!
  Bernard: And you can't eat ice cream without cake; I found that out last night.
  • Throughout the various training montages:
  Wooton: You mean...cheat? [on a mile run]
  Bernard: Cheat or die sweaty. Your choice.

  Bernard: We'll lose the weight, but we'll maintain quality of life.
  Wooton: What do you mean by "quality of life"?
  Bernard: I stuffed a couple of Ding-Dongs down my shirt.

  Connie: You did it, Bernard! You ran two miles! How're you doing?
  Bernard: I'd have to get better to die.

  Bernard: What happened to your eyebrows, Wooton?
  Wooton: Well, I figured they must weigh something.
  Whit: I've never seen such short fingernails!
  Wooton: Oh, yeah, thanks! Hey, uh, isn't it true that you can survive with only one kidney?
  • Bernard and Wooton plan a diversion to steal some brownies:
  Bernard: You need to create a diversion.
  Wooton: Oh, yeah! Like in PowerBoy where they, uh, hoot and holler n' stuff?
  Bernard: Yeah—or make up some not-too-tragic tragedy to keep her attention off me.
  [as they walk in]
  Wooton: Hoot! Holler! Hoot! Holler!
  Connie: Wooton, what are you doing?
  Wooton: Uh, some not-too-tragic tragedy has happened!

  Bernard: Okay...here it is...chocolate gold.
  Wooton: Yeah—uh, it’s a little squashed.
  Bernard: I was practically running a marathon with it!
  Wooton: It’s sweaty.
  Bernard: Yeah, well, salt adds flavor.
  Wooton: There’s gravel in it.
  Bernard: I dropped it once...or maybe twice...
  Wooton: Oh, that explains the shoe print.

  Connie: Wooton, you lost a total of twelve pounds!
  Wooton: Wow! And I still have my appendix!
  • When Whit, surprisingly, fails to lose all the weight, but the three decide to continue on the diet regimens:
  Whit: And I'll keep eating salads.
  Wooton: Your job seems easier.
  Bernard: You haven't tasted his salads.
• In "The Taming of the Two", Edwin Blackgaard's New England Shakespeare tour was cancelled, and he gives the reason why only he has returned to Odyssey without Shakespeare:
  Edwin: There was only enough money for one first class ticket. So he volunteered to hitchhike back.
  • From the same episode, Edwin and Malcolm Lear arguing during a rainstorm...using dramatically delivered Shakespearean insults.
• The many Imagine Spots in "Called On In Class", where Trent (who is nervous about reading a school report in front of his class) imagines the increasingly crazy ways his reading could go wrong or how he could get out of it. One way in particular that he dreams up is that he's reading it in front of his class, then the first grade class, then the school principal, and the state governor after having lost his pants, followed by him imagining all of them mobbing him after he finishes and the governor threatening to call in the National Guard.
• This exchange from "Bernard and Saul":
  Bernard: Well, that wasn't the end of Saul's story, but do you get the point by now?
  Trent: Yeah! Cut off the bad guy's head when God says to!
  Bernard: Exactly, d—no! Try again.
  Trent: Don't throw spears at harpists?
• "Fairy Tale-E-Vision" is another KYDS Radio sketch, comprised of Little Miss Muffet flipping through the channels in Fairy-Tale Land. It's a funny episode in general, but morals aside, the highlight be an out-of-context news hook.
  Female Announcer: And what are little boys made of? The answer may surprise you.
• "Sunday Morning Scramble" is quite possibly the most hilariously relatable episode in the entire series, especially for anyone whose family has ever had an extremely hectic morning getting ready for school, church, vacation, or whatnot like the Washingtons do here. Highlights include the camaraderie between the family as the chaos escalates, Bart Rathbone running amok through the house, and the snowflakes.
• The Affectionate Parody of chick flicks in "Eggshells". It contains completely ludicrous plot details (that we are never given context for) and obvious Narm, and yet it brings June and later Connie to tears every time. Even Whit is completely blunt about his feelings about it afterward:
  Connie: You know, this isn't such a bad movie.
  June: (in tears) It's beautiful!
  Connie: Whit, do you need a tissue?
  Whit: No, more like a bucket.
  Connie: Why?
  Whit: That was the most ridiculous movie I've ever seen!
  June: It didn't make you want to open your heart and share your soul?
  Whit: It made me want to hit my head on something very hard and erase all memories of my life for the past two hours.
• This exchange when Mandy tries to comfort Liz over the huge zit she just got in "Lost By A Nose":
  Liz: There's nothing good you can say about it!
  Mandy: It's...it's symmetrical!
• This slightly self-deprecating exchange from "Wooing Wooton":
  Grady McKay: See, I could've gotten away with it, but...I've decided to do what's right!
  Winston Bassett: If I had a sucker, I'd give it to you.
• In one episode, "Hold Up", a man holds Connie and Eugene at gunpoint to rob Whit's End. After a bit of snarking between the pair, the gunman states
  Hank Murray: Boy, you two were made for each other.
  Eugene: We're just friends, actually.
  Connie: Barely!
• There's also the live version of Push the Red Button (which, unlike previous live shows, also had a studio version) which has it's fair share self-referential humor and is even Denser and Wackier than I Slap Floor!
  • During the story, Jason periodically shows up to ask if he's needed. At one point he gets hit on the head with The Mortal Coil and quips that "he didn't sound like himself" with Whit saying that "he didn't sound like himself either!"
  • "Now, someone needs to watch the counter, and uh...I think it's me."
  • Wooton gives us a few gems:
    • "The teeth, the lips, the tip of the tongue. The teeth, the lips, the tip of the tongue."
    • "Hellloooo nurse! It's time for Animaniacs!"
    • "Wow, you sound like an expensive vacuum cleaner."
  • Early in the story, Eugene warns Matthew about the horrors that could befall them should a mysterious red button be pushed. However...
  Eugene: Matthew, think it through. What if the button is not properly programmed and I simply push it, like this pushes button and it wreaks havoc on the entire system.
  Beat as mysterious mechanical noises start to be heard.
  Eugene: What's that noise?
  Matthew: It started when you pushed the button.
  Eugene: Oh, well...I PUSHED THE BUTTON?! WHAT?!
  Eugene promptly loses his mind.
  • When Penny and Connie are in the Imagination Station, Connie shows off some of its capability by tap-dancing. The live version of the episode has the sound designer do some actual tap-dancing. After getting a round of applause, Penny asks if the Imagination Station could give her the capability to perform a ridiculously elaborate and dangerous stunt. The sound designer shrugs, clearly refusing to take part in it, and Connie claims maybe it's not quite that capable.
• In Part 8 of "The Green Ring Conspiracy", Eugene is tasked with getting a saliva sample from Buck Oliver. Naturally, he makes it significantly harder by way of Suspiciously Specific Denial and Acting Unnatural.
  Eugene: TRY THE LEMONADE! (pounds fist on the table)
  • And after he is just about ready to give up, Katrina comes in and... she merely tells him to spit out his toothpick.
• Prequels of Love features a song entitled "I Love my Pork Rinds" (performed by series composer John Campbell) It's only heard in the background in the episode, but the whole song is featured as a bonus feature on the album. The song is about a man who loves a girl but can't give up his love of pork rinds (What else?) so he ends up breaking up with her. It's as silly as it sounds.
• In Waylaid in the Windy City after Richard Maxwell has scared Dr. Blackgaard with a fake water gun (to say nothing of Whit and Connie) he delivers an epic (if non-lethal) Bond One-Liner:
  Richard: You know sometimes you guys can be real drips!
• When $100 goes missing from the cash register in "Suspicious Minds," Connie and Eugene each suspect the other of being the thief. Hilarious disasters ensue.
  • Eugene handcuffs Bernard when he reaches behind the counter for paper towels.
  Eugene: Paper towels... and how did you know we kept paper towels behind the counter?!
  Bernard: I could see them!
  • Connie confides in Bernard that she plans to help Eugene by sneaking $100 of her own money into the register, but she has to get rid of Eugene first, so maybe she'll try sending him to the bank for quarters. Bernard assures her, "Your brain is missing in action, but your heart's in the right place."
  • Eugene shows Bernard a trap he's built that involves hooking cables to a car battery and a bell, so whoever tries to open the register will set off the bell and get shocked. (He apparently used this as a child to keep his (presumably foster) parents away from the refrigerator when they were dieting.) Bernard gets shocked before he leaves due to Eugene testing the switch while Bernard is still holding the cable Eugene asked him to hold. When Eugene wonders how to get rid of Connie so he can set it up, Bernard suggests sending her to the bank for some quarters.
  • Whit comes back to find Bernard has calmly been sitting back enjoying the show ever since Eugene and Connie spent half an hour arguing over who would go the bank to get quarters. (Connie caved first, allowing Eugene to set up his trap.) Bernard complains about Whit spoiling the ending when he stops Connie before she can open the register... which does nothing, to Eugene's surprise, until he discovers (by shocking himself) that he had the switch in the wrong position.
  • When the group figures out bills were getting jammed behind the register drawer and find 5 missing $20 bills behind it, Connie and Eugene start a new fight over who deserves the credit for finding the money. An exhausted Whit asks Bernard if he would be interested in buying an ice cream shop.

Video Series

• Eugene's Amusing Injuries at the end of "A Flight to the Finish", where he accidentally backs into a wheelchair and goes crashing down the hospital stairs...as the camera pans out to a sign reading "QUIET, HOSPITAL".
• When Eugene gives a rather emotional speech at the end of "The Last Days of Eugene Meltsner", moving everyone to tears in the process, he then proceeds to pull out his ukelele, immediately scaring everyone away.
  Bernard: Aww, don't wreck it with a song!
  (everyone begins to disperse, much to Eugene's annoyance)
  Eugene: Wait! Councilman Beasley! Friends! Citizens of Odyssey! ...Mr. Whittaker?!

Other Media (Podcasts, interviews, etc)

• The making-of feature supplied with the AIO 3-D CD-ROM is...something else, to put it simply. Yes, seriously, a behind the scenes feature being laugh-out-loud worthy sounds silly, but somehow they did it:
  • Will Ryan hiding in a dark room, very clearly doing his Eugene voice and claiming he "can't tell you who it is", and immediately Emerging from the Shadows to claim it's Eugene.
  • Phil Lollar talking about how he gets what he needs out of the actors, and claiming that if all else fails, he can just hit them upside the head with a blunt object.
  • Katie Leigh sitting with her two then-small children and repeatedly asking who their favorite character is, and getting no answer. After asking four times and gritting through her teeth in annoyance, her son finally relents and points to her.
  Katie Leigh: Thanks a lot!
  • When Bob Luttrell is going over all the knobs and buttons in the sound booth, he finishes off by saying the most important button is the one on the phone, "because that'll get us pizza in about five minutes."
  • The entire segment on the sound studio. All of it. No description can do it justice. Chuck Bolte walking near by and having sounds played as he does so, much to his confusion, already makes it funny enough, but then comes an over-the-top Evil Genius parody where the sound engineers cook up a way to bring sound into their world.
  • And of course, the Hilarious Outtakes aren't to be missed either.
  Mark Drury: Another important element... (Beat) ...is magnesium! It's a great element!