Funny / Ace Combat 7: Skies Unknown

Ace Combat 7: Skies Unknown received a considerable upgrade in its writing this time around. While it certainly tells a much grimmer story than most previous games, Project Aces still found a way to pack in a fair amount of humor to make Skies Unknown the funniest Ace Combat game so far.

• The entirety of Mission 5 is probably the most ridiculous setup for a sortie. Trigger, after being transferred to the Spare penal unit, is stationed at a fake military base with obviously fake weapons and vehicles (the fuel trucks are revealed in a cutscene to be balloons). The base only exists to try to confuse the Eruseans into thinking the base has a large concentration of OADF forces; it works a bit too well, and the Eruseans send a bomber force to flatten it. That already sounds crazy enough, but that's just the briefing. As soon as the mission starts, a member of the penal unit forces a takeoff just to spite his superiors, screaming and hollering all the way. Once the mission is underway, AWACS Bandog and the ATC openly insult you and your squadmates, and some even start betting on which pilots will die. Bandog eventually joins in himself and becomes incredibly disappointed at losing a bet on Trigger's death. The base (along with the commanding officer) is being bombed to hell because the prisoners' planes' weapons systems are locked until the AWACS has a change of heart, to which the CO throws everyone who saved his life into solitary confinement for using weapons without his permission.
  McKinsey: Did I say you could fire on the enemy? Throw anyone who disobeys into solitary!
  • After the Spare Squadron is explicitly told to take hits and die for the base, Champ just straight up ignores proper procedure and forces a takeoff:
    Champ: Woohoooo! My blood's boilin'!
    Control Tower: Toss the chump in solitary once he gets back! Spare 8, when you land your ass is grass!
  • Shortly after taking off, there's this exchange between Full Band, Bandog, and an unnamed Spare Squadron pilot:
    Full Band: In this war, intel is a life-or-death matter.
    Bandog: Settle down. Excited to have another murderer with you?
    Spare Pilot: Yeah!
  • During the mission, the Erusean bombers start trying to destroy the base for real. Bandog tries to reach out to McKinsey for permission to fire on the bombers, but loses contact with him, and orders the squadron to attack the bombers anyway. Later, McKinsey re-establishes contact and starts to complain about Spare Squadron firing their weapons. Bandog politely tells him to shut up while Spare Squadron defends the base.
    McKinsey: Are you try— [is cut off]
    Bandog: Wilco. Commander McKinsey, please maintain silence for the moment.
  • There’s some special dialogue that occurs should Trigger actually crash, in reference to Bandog's earlier inquiry about High Roller's bet:
    High Roller: Trigger's down?! Damn it!
    Bandog: Heh heh heh. Looks like I won the bet.
  • And if you do land safely...
    Bandog: I lost a lot of money for that, Trigger. Don't forget.
  • It gets even better should you fail the mission by letting the bombers destroy the base (along with McKinsey), which can be done if you focus too much on fighting the escorts. Everybody in the squadron cheers while Bandog repeatedly and angrily tells everyone to shut up, clearly failing at keeping order in his "squadron".
  • When you return to base and do the landing sequence, the control tower operator will get annoyed when you do something like land nose gear first, stall out time, land on a runway other than the main one, or even roll your plane into one of the 444th's hangars.
    Control Tower: Go back to flight school already. The aircraft seriously can't handle your shit.
• During Mission 6, Count smooth talks Bandog into allowing him to resupply since he knows Bandog wants the Erusean base destroyed despite standing orders for the 444th to be bait. Bandog sighs, relents, and tells Spare Squadron that they'd wish the mission never ended given they're going directly against orders. Sure enough, the post-mission debriefing has McKinsey send everyone who disobeyed into solitary again.
  • When Trigger is starting to rack up UAV kills, Count boasts that he's still in the lead with a higher kill count, only for everyone to call him out on his fake numbers.
    Tabloid: Nice job, Trigger! That's five!
    Count: I've shot down six.
    Bandog: Bullshit. You're still on two.
  • Flying through the western base tunnel results in some interesting dialogue.
    Bandog: Trigger crashed! Drooling idiot!
    Spare Pilot: No, he flew into the tunnel! He's crazy!
  • After High Roller is shot down, various squadron members ponder what to do with the bet he set up.
    Full Band: What happens to a bet when the banker's out?
    Spare Pilot: It's voided, you moron.
• In a Black Comedy sort of way, every time McKinsey and Bandog threaten to throw the convicts into solitary for pretty much anything they do is pretty funny to hear, even during a briefing. It even becomes a meme in itself.
  McKinsey: The only reason you're here is to atone for your crimes by carrying out missions.
  Random Briefee: While you sit on your ass and get medals.
  McKinsey: You! Solitary, now!
• During the debriefing of Mission 9, McKinsey curtly tells Spare Squadron that the mission is a success, and it seems that's all he has to say... and then he calls out Count for inflating his kill counts again.
• In the mission "Transfer Orders", you can shoot down McKinsey’s plane and be rewarded 1000 points for it, this being an unusual aversion of Gameplay Ally Immortality in the series. Of course, you’ll fail the mission, but it is oh so satisfying to shoot that Hate Sink down.
  • Even better, regardless if you shoot down McKinsey or not, Bandog gives a rather deadpan reaction to Roper 1 going down, remarking that its cargo was hardly worth the effort. Clearly, no one likes McKinsey, but an operation is an operation, and it must be successfully carried out, after all.
    AWACS Bandog: Roper 1 lost, along with the mission. Not that it was a load worth protecting.
  • The end of the mission consists of a harrowing dogfight against an enemy prototype. After shooting it down, your old friends from Cyclops Squadron (whom you saved in a previous mission) appear to welcome your arrival, with leader Wiseman complimenting you. McKinsey immediately tries to cover his own ass by claiming you disobeyed orders, but that's okay: as a cherry on top, you learn in the mission debriefing that McKinsey's "accomplishments", all of which you earned, got him a fast track to the front lines. The LRSSG Officer pretty much sums up everyone's reaction:
    LRSSG Officer: ...Well, he DID stress his achievements...

  • Bandog has this to say to a Spare pilot who tries to slink away while Trigger is shooting down drones:
    AWACS Bandog: Have you forgotten what happens to people who desert? I'll send you out to dig up landmines with your bare hands!
    Spare Squadron Member: [somewhat crestfallen] ...I'll stick around.
• Later in the game, you have Long Caster assigned as your AWACS, a welcome break from the previous operator. Long Caster replaces Bandog's jeers and insults with constant reminders to everyone about how much he loves to eat on the job, turning many a conversation towards food and even making a reference to an "Italian bistro" despite the fact that Italy doesn't exist in Strangereal. As one person puts it:
  Project Aces temporarily forgot they're back in Strangereal.
• Near the end of the mission "Stonehenge Defensive", it's revealed that its developers had set up range tables during the battery’s construction. Considering how far Stonehenge can hit, one has to wonder how much math was put into making sure those tables were accurate.
  • It's also a bit silly to find that Erusea somehow failed to notice Osea sneaking an entire division of soldiers (and some civilian security contractors) into Stonehenge in order to refurbish and reactivate the last cannon, the same weapon they tried and failed to capture in the last war they fought. It's not like the generator trucks were disguised as rocks, bushes, bomb debris, or anything...
  • This bit of dialog in between Erusea's attack waves:
  Osean Ground Unit: I'll just be stitching on my lost limbs. Should be back before lunch.
  Count: What did you say?
• Turns out not even Erusea is above fake base shenanigans, as is the case in Mission 13.
  AWACS Long Caster: Therefore, the enemy's made a number of fake silos to try and throw our bombers off the scent.
  Count: Did you say fake?
• Also in Mission 13, Wiseman is not present for the mission, so Count takes the opportunity to boast and inflate his ego. Jaeger's having none of it.
  Count: Be sure to include in the report how much ass I kicked while off the company commander's leash.
  Jaeger: Roger that, and I'll be sure to include all the crap you said about Wiseman too.
• When capturing an Erusean air base in preparations for attacking Farbanti, the helicopter troops that you escort compare their dangerous job to delivering pizza. How dangerous is the mission? Every soldier has written his last will in case the mission ends in abysmal failure and death. Once the base's defenses are wiped out, the same troops demand a surrender from the Eruseans still hiding in the airplane hangars, claiming to have brought pizza for them. One wonders if Long Caster had a hand in this part of the operation...
  Count: Pizza guy's in trouble. Let's help him out.
• Mihaly is a feared Erusean ace who lays waste to just about everything in his path. But his full name? Mihaly Dumitru Margareta Corneliu Leopold Blanca Karol Aeon Ignatius Raphael Maria Niketas Archange Shilage. Dr. Schroeder rattles off his full name in a deadpan manner like it's nothing compared to the already ludicrously complex job of designing, manufacturing, and upgrading lots of potentially self-aware killer drones that could easily betray him at a moment's notice.
• The Osean assault on Farbanti occurs on September 19th, the exact same date as Mobius 1’s first sortie from the last Usean war, which was also the same date when ISAF captured Farbanti a year later. SkyEye’s birthday seems to bring nothing but bad luck to Erusea.
• During the impromptu defense of the Erusean liaison plane over Anchorhead, the drone fighter escorts suddenly operate and attack autonomously due to the lack of satellite-based IFF (and they are now able to summon help by hijacking the activation rights to the other drone launchers). Count snarks that their designer must be the biggest idiot... except that he's indirectly and unknowingly insulting the guy in question, who's onboard the liaison plane.
  Count: Hey, it's not our fault they won't listen to reason. Why build something like that? Whoever did is the king of all dumbasses.
  Dr. Schroeder: ...Maybe he meant to build something else entirely.
• Trigger, like many of the player characters in Ace Combat games of long past, tends to have a rather demoralizing effect on the enemy. As with the others, some enemy forces outright panic when "Three Strikes" is mentioned, but some just sound... weary. Given that Erusea has a bit of a... history with ace pilots coming in and wrecking their shit, one can imagine some of these older Erusean soldiers hearing about Trigger and just going "Aw shit, Here We Go Again!."
  Erusean Ground Unit: Three-striked craft? Hi, shit. Meet fan.
• A rare moment of levity happens in the otherwise somber Mission 17; when Fencer orders newcomer Tailor (the newly-appointed Cyclops 3 after Fencer got promoted to Cyclops 1 following Wiseman's death) to "stop fluttering about and stay glued to my ass", Count can't help but get a feeling of Déjà Vu, since it's exactly what Wiseman told him during Mission 11. Tailor's angry response just makes it better.
  Tailor: Damn it! In this crazy mess, I've got plenty to pay attention to other than your dirty ass!
• Tabloid and Avril have a friendly chat in one cutscene, where Tabloid reveals that he's actually Belkan. Avril comments that Belkans are known for their conspiracies, to which Tabloid immediately replies that it's just a popular stereotype, poking fun at how fans of the series steadfastly believe that Belkans always have a hand in whatever conflict took place in any game in the Strangereal setting.
  • In fact, he got in trouble for doing the exact opposite of what stereotypical Belkans usually do in Strangereal: he protested against the war with little more than his library knowledge, some very strong words, and a rock to some politician's face. No mad science, no conspiracy, and no jingoistic attitude.
• When the Erusean contingent of the Osean-Erusean coalition assembled to destroy the final Arsenal Bird learns that Trigger is on their side. You can practically hear the relief from their voices that the pilot who decimated their forces throughout much of the war isn't firing on them for a change:
  Erusean Fighter (Ally): Three Strikes is on our side!? That's the best news I've heard in a long time!
  Erusean Fighter (Ally): Against Three Strikes? Uh-uh, never again.
• During the climax of Mission 19, the Arsenal Bird deploys its barrier and nobody is able to break past it. Out of options and without much of a plan, Count starts shouting at the shield, repeatedly telling it to go away and disappear. Húxiān thinks he's gone cuckoo, but then the shield does vanish, much to her amusement. It's implied Count listened to his radio feed (where we learn that Cossette is the actual cause of the shield break) and simply played Húxiān along, and the juxtaposition between his desperate shouts and Cossette smashing stuff is nothing short of hilarious.
  Húxiān: Ha! Just what kind of magic did you work there, you asshole?
  Count: It wasn't magic. It's a scam.
• A blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment from the mission briefings: the map overlays areas under Erusean control in red, but even when they have most of the Usean continent under control, one area remains clear: North Point. It's as if the Eruseans remembered the savage beatdown they received from Mobius One and decided to give his primary base a wide berth.
  • Fridge Logic when you realize, somehow, the decision works. Considering that the VR missions take place five years before the events of the main game, and nearly a decade after his first appearance, Mobius One is surely still flying with the IUN by the time of the Lighthouse War, and yet he doesn't appear at all, nor does he even get mentioned outside of indirect lines, and that's mainly due to Trigger. Erusea still gets their ass handed to them by an F-22-flying peacekeeper pilot that isn't Mobius One.
• Another blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment happens in the briefing for Mission 17. Jaeger discusses retreating to a safe location, then the cursor hovers over Megalith (the destroyed superweapon from Ace Combat 04) before changing his mind and moving to Tyler Island. Perhaps he remembered at the very last second that there was practically zero chance of finding food, fuel, and ammunition in the ruins of Megalith, to say nothing of the possibility that it was turned into a Belkan-style automated drone factory with a beehive's worth of drones waiting to ambush everyone. Listen closely and you can even hear Jaeger give a hesitant, "Eehhhh...." as the cursor hovers over Megalith before moving to Tyler Island, as if he was suddenly considering the actual implications of using a long-dead superweapon as a base of operations.
• When the Japanese version of the site was updated with portraits of most of the cast (including ones that don't actually appear in-game), the picture of Long Caster is a hamburger with a small Osean flag on top of it.
• The battle over Artiglio Port in "Unexpected Visitor" is epic and everyone on both sides of the battle gives it their all... except for one of the two MiG-31B pilots that come with the first wave of Harriers. As soon as Trigger approaches the Foxhounds, he'll turn around and bolt north, citing a mechanical problem. Naturally, his wingmate gives him flak for it.
  Fleeing Erusean Fighter: No control. Returning to base.
  Wingmate: Don't forget to tell the mechanics you seem to have a problem every time Three Strikes shows up!
  • Torres's Villainous Breakdown at the end of the mission, thanks to Memetic Mutation.
    Captain Torres: The damn bastard ruined it.
    Submarine CDO: Captain?
    Captain Torres: Don't you see? He walked all over it with his dirty boots! Over the crisp, white sheets of the bed I had just made!
  • Even funnier, a Dummied Out line adds "The same boots he wore as he stood at a urinal!"^note Which begs the question, does this mean Torres has a special pair of Pissing Shoes just for bathroom visits?
  • Another quick exchange during the Port raid between Húxiān (who hadn't been flying with Trigger for long at that point in the main story) and Count (who had) after Count gives up counting how many enemies the group had cut through:
    Count: Ah, I give up, I can't keep track.
    Húxiān: Just do your job. You don't hear Trigger complaining.
    Count: [slightly sheepishly] Heeee... doesn't talk much.
  • When it's Skald's turn to speak, all he does is complain how hard it is for just Strider Squadron to fight a whole air force. Count and Húxiān successively rebuke him.
    Skald: Air combat's a lot harder without Wiseman!
    Count: You sure? Our man Trigger was an absolute monster just now!
    [...]
    Skald: Being outnumbered is tougher than I thought!
    Húxiān: Shut your trap and keep shooting!
    Skald: Shit! Do it with a bang.
  • Just the fact that you could just ignore the Mimic Squadron for the entire mission until they eventually leave by themselves, with Scream complaining that Trigger wouldn't even look at her and loudly declaring that she will kill him next time they meet just for that. One of YouTube comments even puts this gem about it:
    Mimic Squadron gets ignored by Trigger so they Rage quit and left Screaming.
• During the pre-mission cutscene of "Anchorhead Raid", Alex notifies David North that her combat simulation pitting Trigger against Torres failed, then quickly mentions in "sensuous order" that the causes are that "[his] hypothesis is trash" and the parameters he gave her are "trash". David is bewildered by her seemingly accusatory tone, wondering if he did something to tick the AI off.
• In "Anchorhead Raid", as Trigger and Strider Squadron are devastating the Erusean fleet anchored at the harbor, one of the Erusean soldiers guarding the port can be heard commenting about the money one can make salvaging the sunken ships for scrap metal and recommends his fellow Eruseans to purchase stock in salvage companies before the war is over.
  • The start of the mission features Long Caster and your wingmen throwing out every food metaphor under the sun:
  Long Caster: The food at this party's served buffet-style. Pick whatever dish you like before the host mounts a resistance!
  Húxiān: Wilco! I'll eat their hearts out!
  Count: Sorry, Trigger, but the juicy targets are all mine.
  [...]
  Long Caster: Gobble up all high-value targets! Forget about your manners!
  Lanza: Alright, where're my artisanal burgers?
  [...]
  Long Caster: Resistance from enemy air defenses confirmed, keep on dining. Just don't pay for it.
  [...]
  Húxiān: Get over here, Trigger. Got some strong shots for you, if you'd like. There's plenty for the two of us!
  [...]
  Long Caster: There's no need to go through the whole menu. Focus on the juicier targets!
  • The fleeing MiG-31B from "Unexpected Visitor" returns as part of Hrotti Squadron and, unsurprisingly, bolts back to base the moment you get distracted by the eight Su-37s that trailed behind Hrotti. Even his fellow pilots give him flak for it.
    Fleeing Erusean Fighter: Lost control! Returning to base!
    Erusean Fighter: I've heard about you. You always have aircraft problems when Three Strikes is around!
    Fleeing Erusean Fighter: No joke! I have lost control!^note Perhaps he really did lose control, but not of his plane.
  • During the debriefing, as everyone is trying to restrain Húxiān from tearing Brigadier General Clemens a new one over his treachery, Lanza can be heard nonchalantly telling her to calm down while complaining about the spilled cola he was drinking. Given that Lanza had just come back from a grueling air raid on a heavily defended Erusean naval base and survived getting shot by Mimic Squadron, he likely wasn't in the mood for any more drama and just wanted to sip his soda in peace.
  • To add to above, just when Clemens requests for an MP to apprehend Húxiān and Count, Joint Chief of Staff Edwards comes online agreeing with Clemens' request, but to apprehend Clemens instead. And then Húxiān punches Clemens right in the face. Ouch.
• If you either shoot down or collide with one of the allied P-1 patrol aircraft at the beginning of "Ten Million Relief Plan", Count will let out an annoyed "Oh, come on!" as the mission failure message shows up.
• The climax of “Ten Million Relief Plan” is a little of this and a lot of awesome, assuming your hit lands: the impact of your shot makes a tiiiny 'ping' noise as it knocks the Alicorn's gun off target and finally, completely ruins Torres' plans. Even the music falls flat as Torres, who had been cackling and making grand speeches, is caught off guard by the misdirection. His Villainous Breakdown afterwards is instead a different story...
• As the playable segment of "Ten Million Relief plan" draws to a close, Long Caster asks for a burger...and a knife and a fork this time, since he doesn't have to keep one hand free to conduct the mission anymore.
• In the debriefing for "Ten Million Relief Plan", having ended the threat of Torres and the Alicorn for good, the pilots of the LRSSG proceed to celebrate and relax for a change, only for Wiseman to promptly remind them that their next sortie is in 32 hours (in a Call-Forward to the events of "Cape Rainy Assault"). Cue every other pilot groaning in annoyance.
  Jaeger: Not something I'll tell my son about.
• The mercenary Mimic Squadron sports Osean emblems, given they were hired by Clemens. This implies there is some strict international law in Strangereal stating that mercenaries must sport the emblems of their employers, seeing as Galm and Phoenix had to do the same. Clemens was willing to commit treason, and Rage and Scream were willing to murder both Oseans and Eruseans...but none of them would dare disobey laws regarding mercs in war. Although considering Rage and Scream's mentalities, they probably didn't care.

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