Film: Milk Money
A 1994 comedy film starring Melanie Griffith, Ed Harris, Anne Heche and Malcolm McDowell (and a kid that looks like a blond-er Haley Joel Osment). Three pre-teen boys decide they want to see a naked woman, and actually save money to hire a hooker for that purpose (apparently, they think that's all they do). They go from the suburbs to the city by themselves and meet one named V (Melanie Griffith), who accepts the deal. After the exchange, the children's bikes are stolen, forcing V to give them a ride home.V's car breaks down in front of the last boy's house, and he tells his widowed father (Ed Harris) that she is a math tutor. He helps fix her car, but then she finds out that her pimp has been murdered—by a Mob Boss, from whom he had stolen money. Fearing for her life (the mob is still looking for the money), V asks the kids to hide her, which they do—in their treehouse.There is also a subplot about Frank's father being obsessed with saving a wetland.
This movie provides examples of:
- Aborted Arc: The plot point about Frank failing Sex Ed is dropped once he gives his report.
- Easily Forgiven: The mob boss just lets V go.
- Also, the kids after the whole thing is revealed.
- Green Aesop: Because saving a swamp has something to do with zany prostitute misadventures, right?
- Harmful to Minors: When V shows her breasts, Frank covers his own eyes.
- Hormone-Addled Teenager: An especially egregious offense, since the kids haven't even hit puberty.
- Karma Houdini: The three boys. Frank even breaks a number of school codes and laws in a single scene and receives no punishment, even though his teacher witnessed the whole thing. Though that may have been just a daydream of Frank's. However, see Zany Scheme.
- Missing Mom: Frank's mother died before he was bo— Er... just after he was born.
- No Social Skills: V isn't very discreet when meeting one of the boys' fathers and pointing out he's a past client of hers right in front of his wife.
- The boys see nothing wrong with outright asking a lady who they suspect is a prostitute if she is one.
- Paper-Thin Disguise: V with sunglasses is unrecognizable.
- Tin Can You Hear Me Now: As Ebert himself pointed out in his written review, this bit makes little sense given how kids have cell phones these days (although cell phones were not really commonplace back when the film first came out).
- Toilet Humor: The film begins with the line, "You ever fart and sneeze at the same time?"
- The Unreveal: No, we don't get to see Melanie Griffith's boobs (but two of the boys do).
- Wise Beyond Their Years: While the boys are unrealistically stupid, the girls are able to tell V is a prostitute just by looking at her.
- Zany Scheme: While the kids might be excused because of their ignorance, and the whole thing being a comedy, when V asks Frank's dad to take his pants off before she will explain things, what little common sense the film had flew away.