Obligatory "YOU CAN CHECK IN, BUT YOU CAN'T CHECK OUT!"
All her bones are decaying and her organs are all rancid and her blood is malignant as slime...Hospital Massacre
(also known as X-Ray
and more rarely as Ward 13
) is a 1982 Slasher Movie
On Valentine's Day in 1961, a little girl named Susan Jeremy, after being left a Valentine by nerdy classmate Harold Dooley, crumpled it up and mocked Harold along with her friend David, who Harold (who had been watching the two from outside Susan‘s house) killed in a fit of rage by somehow
impaling him on a hatstand while Susan was in the kitchen getting cake.
Exactly nineteen years later, Susan (by now divorced from her husband Tom, with a daughter named Eva, and a fiancé named Jack) is stopping by a hospital to pick up the results of a routine check up required by her new job, but finds herself being forced to stay overnight by the staff after a man in surgical attire secretly murders her personal physician and tampers with her file. As the masked man starts murdering medical personal and appears to be zeroing in on her, Susan realizes something is horribly wrong, but her concerns are ignored by everyone except an ever so helpful intern named Harry, who begins trying to help her escape the hospital, which is quickly becoming a bloodbath...
The doctors say this film shows symptoms of the following:
- The Alcoholic: Hal, a lecherous drunk prone to wandering the halls.
- Bedlam House: The hospital really gives off this vibe.
- Big Damn Heroes: In the loosest sense possible. Right when Harold is going to cut Susan's heart out, her roomates randomly wander into the room, distracting Harold long enough for Susan to grab a knife off the operating tray and stab him with it.
- Cowboy: There's apparently one with the mumps in Ward 11.
- Cover Drop: Harold about to cut Susan's heart out.
- Deadly Doctor: Harold, since he actually is employed by the hospital.
- Freak Out: Harold experiences one after killing the janitor.
- Jerkass: Hal, and one of the old ladies Susan is forced to share a room with.
- Man on Fire: Susan uses her lighter to set Harold on fire, after spilling chemicals on him.
- Mundane Made Awesome: Young Susan getting slices of cake for herself and David; there's intense music, gratuitous zoom-ins, she takes the biggest knife available, and then viciously hacks the cake completely in half with it.
- Noodle Implements: Why is there a screwdriver in a tray of medical tools?
- Noodle Incident: Jack mentions a patient apparently ran amok in the hospital the previous year.
- Re Cut: The version titled X-Ray apparently had a ridiculous twelve minutes lopped off. Better artwork, though.
- The Reveal: If the name wasn't a dead giveaway, Harry is Harold.
- Riddle for the Ages: What the Hell is wrong with the patient Harold switched Susan's test results with?
- Shadow Discretion Shot: Jack's death.
- Shout-Out: To My Bloody Valentine, in the form of a trio of hospital employees wearing Harry Warden-esque gas masks.