Walt Disney Presents: The Lord of the Rings
is pretty much Exactly What It Says on the Tin — a What If? story where The Lord of the Rings was adapted for the screen by Walt Disney Pictures instead of Peter Jackson. The result is a heavily Bowdlerised Animated Adaptation that would likely cause JRR Tolkien to turn in his grave were it an actual movie.
Walt Disney Presents: The Lord of the Rings provides examples of:
- Action Girl: Arwen unleashes a Curb-Stomp Battle on the Nazgul — and WINS.
- Adaptational Attractiveness:
- While Frodo was already more attractive in the Jackson films than the book, here he's at least six inches taller than the other hobbits, and has blonde hair, blue eyes, and muscular arms.
- The orcs look less like mutilated beings and more like cartoonish aliens.
- Adaptational Comic Relief: Aragorn, as one would expect from a character "voiced" by Robin Williams (the fic was written before Williams committed suicide).
- Adaptational Species Change: Eomer is a bulldog in this story, which means he's also Unrelated in the Adaptation.
- Anachronism Stew: The Roman alphabet, acronyms, sidewalks and full body armor did not exist in Arda.
- Artistic License – Biology: Ithil, a rabbit, can climb trees.
- Aside Glance: Boromir winks at the "camera" when Frodo wanders off into the woods to think.
- As Long as It Sounds Foreign:
- The Elven chant in Chapter 2:Anor, gil-galad, lembas, celeb;
Elen sila lumen omientielvo,
Noro lim, noro lim, noro lim;
Ai Elbereth; Gilthoniel!
Tinuviel, Ithil, talan, mithril;
Mellon! Dunedain!
Galadhrim, Caradhras, Eryn Lasgalen,
Namarie, namarie!
- Translated into English, this means:Sun, starlight, waybread, silver;
A star shines on the hour of our meeting,
Run a lot, run a lot, run a lot;
Oh, Elbereth; Gilthoniel!
Nightingale, moon, flet, mithril;
Friend! Man of the West!
Tree people, Redhorn, Wood of Greenleaves,
Farewell, farewell!
- The Rohirric chant in Chapter 5 is as follows:Hama, Mearas, Eorl, Theodwyn;
Westu Theoden hal!
Eomund, Grima, Lathspell, Helm;
Ferthu Theoden hal!
- The Elven chant in Chapter 2:
- Awesome Moment of Crowning: Frodo is crowned king at his wedding to Arwen.
- Beauty Is Never Tarnished:
- Faramir falls in the slime of the Dead Marshes, but is perfectly neat and clean when he confronts Denethor.
- Despite having traveled to Mordor on foot in wearing a bikini, Arwen is unharmed when the orcs capture her and bring her to Sauron.
- Big Damn Heroes: The eagles rescue Gandalf from Sauron.
- Black-and-White Morality: There's a much clearer line between good and evil.
- Breaking the Fourth Wall: Gandalf has a brief moment after Frodo asks how the Ring was cut off Sauron's hand:Gandalf: Find out in The Lord of the Rings One-and-a-Half: The Adventures of Isildur and Bilbo Baggins, coming directly to video and DVD in anywhere from one to fifty years."
- Canon Defilement: In-Universe, with a few passages explicitly mentioned to make purists ugly-cry or outright puke.
- Crack Fic: It's The Lord of the Rings as a Disney movie. It doesn't get much crackier.
- Disneyfication: Among other things, there's no alcohol or smoking; there's no end of cheesy songs and the ending is unambiguously a Happy Ending. The author draws the line at having talking animals, though.
- Disney Villain Death: Boromir stumbles on a rock and falls into the river, hitting his head and drowning in the process.
- Gratuitous Princess: Arwen and Eowyn, moreso than the books or the actual movies - Elrond is a king instead of a lord, and Eowyn is Theoden's daughter as opposed to his niece.
- Hijacked by Jesus: The sudden appearance of a Catholic bishop gives the fans in the audience a headache.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: Denethor falls into the same fire he had lit to kill Faramir.
- Hotter and Sexier: Arwen and Eyowin sport battle-bikinis, the latter with hooker-boots too. Faramir's love interest at the end is mentioned to be stacked as well. Probably meant as Parent Service In-Universe, and possibly a nod to Disney putting in some risqué visuals in supposedly family-friendly movies.
- "I Want" Song: Arwen's "My Hero Will Come to Me".
- Interspecies Romance: Frodo, a hobbit, and Arwen, an elf, fall in love with each other.
- Kill It with Fire:
- Denethor tries to do this with Faramir.
- Sauron bursts into flames when he dies.
- Never Say "Die": "Kill" is used, but nobody knows why the Dead Marshes are called what they are (an ancient battlefield becoming a swamp).
- Obviously Evil:
- Both Boromir and Denethor have curly black mustaches that are very Dastardly Whiplash.
- Grima Wormtongue is a sallow-looking, skinny old man with long black hair and greenish skin
- Oh, Crap!:
- The Fellowship when they realize that Boromir has been gone for far longer than it takes to give someone a handkerchief.
- Boromir shortly afterwards, when it's revealed that he was going to take the Ring to Sauron.
- Pair the Spares: Faramir gets a Ship Tease with an elf named Feanora who is apparently the daughter of Thranduil.
- Political Overcorrectness: Parodied — the statues of Argonath are devoid of anything even remotely warlike; the Rohirrim are multicultural; and everybody, regardless of race, religion, IQ, gender, etc. can look into the palantir without too much trouble, as apparently having only the wise and strong be able look into the palantiri and not become corrupted or insane is offensive to handicapped children or less smart children.
- The Power of Friendship: Is apparently stronger than the power of evil.
- The Power of Love: Frodo is hesitant to throw the Ring into Mount Doom, until Arwen convinces him to do so.
- Rebellious Princess: Arwen, to the point where she runs away from home in order to join Frodo on his quest.
- Red Eyes, Take Warning: Sauron has red eyes.
- Related Differently in the Adaptation: Boromir and Denethor are Faramir's stepbrother and stepfather, respectively.
- Eowyn is Theoden's daughter.
- Reptiles Are Abhorrent: Lugburz, Sauron's pet snake.
- Shout-Out:
- The opening of the "movie" is similar to the intro of Pocahontas, and Treebeard is a tree with a face, just like Grandmother Willow.
- The teapot Gandalf and Frodo use is said to look suspiciously like Mrs. Potts.
- Gollum's seafood banquet (It Makes Sense in Context) consists of clownfish and crabs that look like Nemo and Sebastian.
- The Lord of the Nazgul quotes Razul (well, kinda) while searching for the Ring:"We just keep running into each other, don't we, street r—er, I mean, fuzzfoot?"
- Likewise, Elrond's statement that Arwen must be married before her 2000th birthday, and that she only has three months left, is very remimniscent of the Sultan's comment to Jasmine in the same movie.
- During his fight with the Balrog, Gandalf falls into magical snow, which apparently causes anybody who falls into it to be cryogenically frozen until somebody with magical powers awakens them. Replace "cryogenically frozen" with sleep and "somebody with magical powers" with True Love's Kiss, and you have Maleficant's curse.
- In a non-Disney example, Aragorn quotes a Munchkin in the second chapter — "Just follow the Yellow Brick Road."
- Spared by the Adaptation:
- Instead of being killed by orcs, Balin and the other dwarves of Moria flee the attack, and end up arriving in time to aid in the Siege of Minas Tirth.
- Theoden is not killed by the Witch-King.
- Squishy Wizard: Grima Wormtongue has been made into one. He ends up becoming a SQUISHED Wizard when Treebeard steps on him.
- Stripperific:
- Arwen's outfit consists of a bikini top with a short, gauzy skirt, matching slippers, a sapphire necklace, and a tiara.
- Eowyn wears a leather bikini and thigh-high boots.
- Team Pet: Ithil the rabbit. He's also a Ridiculously Cute Critter.
- Toilet Humor: During Gandalf's rescue, some of the eagles poop on the orcs.
- Unrelated in the Adaptation: Eomer is Eowyn's pet bulldog instead of her older brother.
- Wimp Fight: Legolas and Gimli's fight in Chapter 5 consists mostly of slaps, kicks in the shin, and spitting at each other.
