Fanfic: The Ariana Black Series
The Ariana Black Series
was a series of seven fanfics, written by "Ariana Black.
" (The main series itself had seven stories, but the author also wrote several side-stories about Ariana's mother, and one about Ariana's rival, Maria. Technically they don't count as part of the actual series.)
Over the course of seven fics, Ariana comes to Hogwarts, befriends all the characters that the author likes, discovers she is an "Empath," which therefore makes her very special and powerful, Voldemort decides she's more important than Harry and focuses on alternatively killing her or stealing her powers, and...that's really all there is. Except the author also decided to throw in Wangst
out the wazoo, sappy scenes in which the main cast talks about how they'll be together forever and ever
(for Ariana's sake
), love melodrama...anything to pad the story out to seven fics.
All the stories have been taken down because the author was tired of people telling her Ariana was a Mary Sue
, but there is an on-going spork of all the fics starting here
, the sporkers being fortunate enough to still have copies of the original fanfic.
- Alpha Bitch: Maria fits all the hallmarks of this, complete with being from a rich family, picking on the main heroine, and having her own Girl Posse.
- Attempted Rape: Draco tries to rape Ariana on several occasions.
- Author Appeal: The author seems to like writing about Ariana gratuitously receiving expensive jewelry for no apparent reason.
- Big Brother Instinct: Harry, taken up to Edwardian levels of frightening in his reactions.
- Blessed with Suck: While Ariana's Empath powers are genuinely useful, she rarely gets enough use out of them (see Useless Useful Spell below) to justify the horrible side-effects:
- Being near mood-altering spells or potions send her into potentially lethal fits.
- She can't help but feel the emotions around her. If the emotions are strong enough, they start to override her own, leading to a point where she effectively roofies herself when her friend confesses his love for her.
- Oh, yeah, and Voldemort wants kidnap to use her blood for an immortality potion, or so he can erase her will and use her as a political puppet, or various other excuses.
- Blondes are Evil: Maria is blonde, as well as the local Alpha Bitch and Ariana's rival.
- Body Horror: At one point, Neville's nose evidently ends up smeared across his face.
- Bonding Over Missing Parents: How Neville and Ariana first hook up.
- Bound and Gagged:This happens to Arianna and friends just about every fic.
- Changeling Fantasy: An unusual case. After her mother's death, Ariana was raised by a witch named Mita. Ariana immediately dumps her to live with Sirius once he's pardoned, and even comments that it wasn't until she started living with Sirius and Harry that she had a real family.
- Chickification: Canonically, Hermione and Ginny are competent witches. In the fic, they're barely able to do anything useful and are mostly just there to be Ariana's friends.
- CPR (Clean, Pretty, Reliable): See Disney Death below.
- Curtains Match the Window: Ariana and Patty. The former has black hair and eyes, while the latter has brown hair and eyes.
- Damsel in Distress: For as much as she claims her powers are incredibly strong, Ariana falls into this role a lot.
- Demonic Possession: A rather short-lived example. See Our Demons Are Different.
- Detractor Nickname: Ariana is often called "Airhead" by the sporkers in their MST. The canon characters also get names to emphasize how Out of Character they are. For example: "Hairy Potter," "Don Weasel," "Devil Shortbottom," etc.
- Dirty Old Man: Professor Flitwick, apparently. See Under The Mistletoe.
- Disney Death: Ariana drowns and is dead for at least five or seven minutes. No spells attempted work in reviving her, but CPR does. The sporkers have pointed out in their MST that this is just not possible, as if no spell could have revived her, then CPR wouldn't have a chance, and if she was dead for at least seven minutes then she's staying that way. And on the off-chance that she was revived, then she would have been brain-dead.
- Double Standard: Abuse, Female on Male: Hermione especially, but also Ginny, seem to be in the habit of hitting their Love Interests in the back of the head whenever they annoy them. Played for Laughs.
- Driven to Suicide: Ariana, multiple times.
- The Empath: Ariana is an Empath, which means she can do pretty much whatever the story calls for.
- Expy/Distaff Counterpart: Maria, Kitty, and Patty are basically Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle with boobs and cattier personalities.
- Flanderization: While Maria once had some semblance of personality and at least seemed to actually care about her friends, the sporkers point out that in later stories she is completely driven by her hatred of Ariana and now doesn't seem to care about Patty and Kitty at all.
- Flat Character: Patty and Kitty have no personality outside of "Maria's lackeys."
- Freudian Excuse: The seventh story gave Maria one—apparently she hates Ariana because Ariana has an adopted family who loves her, while Maria's rich parents don't give her the time of day. Of course, we never get any evidence of this elsewhere, it's just stated out of the blue and never brought up again.
- Friend to All Living Things: Ariana reaches Disney Princess levels with this one.
- Girl Posse: Patty and Kitty are this for Maria.
- Healing Hands: One of Ariana's numerous powers.
- Heel-Face Turn: Kitty gradually starts to fall for Ariana's "charm."
- Hot for Teacher/Hot for Student: After graduating, Neville becomes the new Herbology professor. He and Ariana still date.
- Identical-Looking Asians: For a Potions lesson, Ariana partners with Michael Okuda, "a handsome looking Asian boy who reminded Ariana of Cho Chang." She never explains why he reminds her of Cho Chang, though, so presumably it's just because she's also attractive and Asian. (Incidentally, Cho is four years older than Ariana and Harry doesn't seem to pursue her romantically in this universe, so how does Ariana even know who she is?)
- Informed Ability: Apparently, Maria is a very skilled flyer and Quidditch player. But we never see her flying or playing Quidditch before the fact.
- Also, Ariana is supposedly the top in all her classes (she cites it as a reason for Maria to hate her), but we rarely see her doing any sort of schoolwork and have no indication of her being smart.
- To be fair, in the first story it's a plot point that she can answer any ridiculously hard question Snape throws at her—though this just makes her look like a Mary Sue rather than "smart."
- It's All About Me: The universe revolves around Ariana.
- Probably the best (and most infuriating) example is in the first story. She's angry at Sirius, her uncle, and hates him for supposedly killing Harry's parents not because he may have murdered innocent people, but because she's being bullied for being the niece of a criminal.
- Tabitha, Ariana's mother, has shades of this as well in the one-shot spin-off, Tabby Cat. The entire plot is of her visiting Sirius at Azakaban and ranting at him mostly about how he ruined her life by committing murder, never mind any of the victims or the friends he was accused of killing/betraying.
- Jerkass Has a Point: Some of the things Maria says actually make a lot more sense than what Ariana does—for instance, that it's wrong for Ariana to date her professor.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Filch, evidently.
- Karma Houdini: Maria and her friends try to kill Ariana at breakfast one morning, lock her in a closet on the last day of school and plan to leave her there all summer, et cetera. All they get away with is a slap on the wrist. Not that some of us are complaining...
- Draco attempts to rape Ariana twice early on. Dumbledore only threatens to expel him. Yes, you read that right—Draco only gets the threat of expulsion for attempting to rape an eleven-year-old.
- Lolicon: Not only were Neville and Draco attracted to eleven-year-old Ariana when they were fifteen, but seventeen-year-old Dudley is attracted to Ariana the next year, and Neville's Uncle Algie comments that he would steal Ariana from Neville if only he were younger—at the time, Ariana is twelve. Ew!
- Loophole Abuse: In one of the stories, Voldemort curses Ariana so she no longer has her Empath powers, saying that "the curse will be on you til the day you die." Guess what.
- The Maiden Name Debate: Since she's Ariana Black, her mom apparently decided to keep her last name (or maybe change it back when her husband left her). Which is kind of odd, given how terrified both originally are about people realizing they're related to Sirius.
- May-December Romance: Ariana and Neville fall in love when she's eleven and he's fifteen. They continue to date throughout the entire fic.
- Mood Whiplash: The story tends to swing between chapters of pointless "hee-hee, characters having fun!" antics to other chapters that are full of Wangst. Also, the sporkers note that any bad thing that happened seems to be forgotten immediately, with characters cracking jokes right after they escape from mortal peril.
- Mentor Occupational Hazard: Mita comes back into the story pretty much to succumb to this.
- Moral Dissonance: Whatever Ariana does is good, right, and heroic. Anything and everything Maria does is bad and sign of her bitchiness...yes, even leaving class as she was told to, instead of standing around and worrying over Ariana.
- Taken Up to Eleven in a Quidditch game where Maria tricks a bludger into hitting a chaser on the opposing team (who happens to be Ariana's friend). Instead of seeing this as a perfectly legal and rather clever move, Ariana claims this is the lowest thing Maria has ever done.
- MST: The only format the fic exists in anymore.
- Muggle Born of Mages: Ariana's mother, Tabitha.
- Muggles Do It Better: See Disney Death above.
- My Sensors Indicate You Want to Tap That: After a somewhat-lewd comment from Harry, Ariana threatens to tell the others what emotion she was sensing from him.
- Never My Fault: Anything bad or stupid Ariana does is never her fault. According to her (and usually the other characters as well), it was someone else's fault for goading her, or because of her Empath powers. A great example occurs in the seventh story, when Ariana makes out with another boy behind Neville's back—twice, and both times she claims she didn't fight back because her Empath powers reacted to his love. She does say that it sounds more like she's making excuses, but then she never really tells herself it wasn't her powers either.
- Never Trust a Title: "Ariana and the Mystery of the Muggle Murders" has no mystery—the first time the murders are mentioned the narration (correctly) tells us Voldemort is doing them to send a message to Snape. For that matter, the murders really don't really have much to do with the plot; the characters never try to stop the murders, they just let them know that Voldemort is ticked off.
- Nobody Calls Me Chicken: Maria dares Ariana, who's already dating Neville, to French kiss the next person to walk into their dormitory. It's Harry. She kisses him and there is much Wangst about how Maria "forced" her to cheat on Neville.
- Not Blood Siblings: Harry and Ariana said they were Like Brother and Sister even before Sirius adopted them, but that didn't stop Ariana from kissing him on a dare.
- Once per Episode: Almost every year involves Voldemort kidnapping Ariana.
- Similarly, once she's introduced, Maria makes an appearance during every single train ride.
- Our Demons Are Different: Foreign from Harry Potter canon, in this fic they're Living Shadows created by a Dark wizard. They possess people, but instead of controlling them they drain their energy and memories until the victim dies, then turn information over to their masters.
- Out of Focus: After the second story Harry and Ariana move in with Sirius, and their friends start spending their summers there/moving in themselves. This means that a lot of characters, like most of the Weasleys, pretty much disappear.
- Parental Abandonment: Ariana's father ran out on the family before she was born, and her mother died of an unnamed disease shortly after Ariana's birth.
- Rape as Drama: Draco makes multiple attempts to rape Ariana.
- Remember the New Guy: In Ariana's second year, we meet Maria and her cronies. Their antagonism towards Ariana is treated as though it was already established, despite not being present in the earlier fanfic.
- Rouge Angles of Satin: The cause of a "Slug Malfoy" in part 1, "Hell Malfoy" in part 2, and Dumbledore evidently not being Headmaster yet. And that's just the start.
- The Rival: Maria is set up as this to Ariana.
- Satellite Character: Harry and his friends, of all people, are turned into this for Ariana. Whether she's around or not, all they ever do is fuss over her.
- Shout-Out: To Disney's The Little Mermaid, as Ron and Hermione dance to "Part of Your World" at their wedding.
- Sickeningly Sweethearts: Ariana and Neville.
- Soap Opera Disease: Ariana's mother dies in the backstory of a mysterious disease that isn't explained in any way.
- Super Drowning Skills: While swimming to escape one of Voldemort's strongholds, Ariana manages to get tangled up in completely mundane seaweed and drowns.
- The Aurors Who Don't Do Anything
- Title Drop: Many chapter titles come from lines of dialogue in said chapter...and 99 percent of the time, the chapter title doesn't actually fit the chapter's content.
- Too Dumb to Live: Ariana receives a (fake) letter from Sirius, telling her to meet him in Hogsmeade near an alley, alone—she believes it and does so. And then when Sirius himself never shows, Ariana wonders what's taking so long, right before getting kidnapped. This is done after Voldemort has made several successful attempts to abduct her in the past, including last year, when Draco kidnapped both her and Harry the moment they left the company of their friends.
- Took a Level in Badass: Dementors are apparently capable of scaring away Patroni in this fanfic.
- Under The Mistletoe: During the holidays Professor Flitwick, for some reason, hangs mistletoe in the entrance to the Great Hall and won't let anyone enter until they "follow tradition." At one point this forces Ariana to kiss Ron. Another time it forces Ginny to kiss Ron.
- Unrequited Love Lasts Forever: Ariana's mother, Tabitha, had a thing for Snape when she was about nine and he was about ten. He reacts about the way any snotty kid might to a girl that he finds supremely annoying. Apparently she wasn't able to move on from this, because ten years later (after she had already married and divorced somebody else) she tells Remus that she's still in love with Snape. Note that he moved in with the Malfoys right after telling her off, so it's questionable if she's even seen him in the ensuing years.
- Useless Useful Spell: A rare non-video game example. Ariana's ability to sense emotions doesn't seem to help any time it's particularly needed. She can sense her friends sneaking up on her (some of the time), but always misses when somebody with hostile intentions is preparing to ambush her. She can sense how much Neville loves her, but was completely oblivious to Reginald's feelings until he confessed.
- In the fourth story we find out that for Ariana's protection, her former guardian Mita had an amulet that let her watch over her and know where she was. Ariana had been kidnapped by Voldemort and almost been raped by Malfoy twice each, and yet this had never come up before.
- Wanton Cruelty to the Common Comma: Hilarity Ensues if you take everything written at face value, as the above sporkers regularly point out.
- What Measure Is a Non-Super?: In the fifth story the Death Eaters keep killing random Muggles in Snape's area to send him a message. Granted Snape is the person Ariana knows and cares about, but all the attention seems to be on worrying about him with very little concern for the poor, nameless people who are actually dying.
- Write Who You Know: One of Ariana's friends, Reginald, is supposedly based on a friend of the author's whom she claims has a crush on her. Reginald also forces himself onto Ariana several times despite her saying she doesn't want to, which speaks very, very badly for the real-life person...
- You Must Be Cold: In the fourth story, Harry offers Ariana his sweater after Malfoy's Attempted Rape tears her blouse. Which is sort of a Plot Hole; the author apparently forgot that earlier she had been wearing a robe over her clothes, so she could have easily just put that back on.