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Fanfic: legolas by laura
Officially, it's just titled "legolas", but this legendary badfic has become inextricably linked with its author in the minds of The Lord of the Rings fandom, with good reason, and it is now generally known as "legolas by laura", complete with lack of capitalisation.

The story begins with Legolas riding through the woods and finding a baby "whaped" in "colth". Thanks to Suvian influence, he picks her up, names her "laura", and goes to his house to show her to his father and mother. They then adopt her.

Ten years later, laura asks Legolas to teach her how to ride a horse. He agrees. Soon after, Aragorn and Gandalf visit Mirkwood. Despite it being ten years since Legolas adopted laura, they don't know about laura. Sauron plans to kidnap her for no reason at all.

Legolas and laura "horseride" through the forest and meet Aragorn and Gandalf. Legolas introduces laura to them. Later, they go back to Legolas's "castle". Legolas asks Aragorn and Gandalf if they can stay. They say yes.

After having tea, they go to bed, and a random bunch of Orcs capture laura. The guards do nothing, and laura is taken to "Mondor". There, Sauron tells the Orcs to throw laura in a cell and do whatever they want with her as long as they don't kill her. The orcs "stripe" her and rape her, but laura fends them off by saying, "go away you bastard". Because of that, they "whipe" her and "bet" her almost to death. Then, Sauron goes into the room with a bottle of "posion", which he "injets" into her.

A few hours later, Legolas, Gandalf, and Aragorn get to the front gates of "Mondor". After an inept shouting match, Legolas climbs up to the cell, while Aragorn and Gandalf "run" into "Mondor". There, Gandalf has a duel with Sauron despite the huge power disparity between them.

Meanwhile, Legolas frees laura and kills the Orcs. Aragorn appears. In Sauron's Throne Room (presumably), Gandalf is having a "fun" time trying to kill the Dark Lord and wishes that the Hobbits were there. They then appear. Frodo tells Sauron that he got rid of the Ring, and the Dark Lord is destroyed by Gandalf.

A few more hours pass, and Legolas and laura are on their way back to "Milkwood". She gets sick (due to the "posion"), and Legolas diverts the party to Rivendell, also a few hours away from "Milkwood".

There, Legolas stands by laura's side until she wakes up. When she does, he kisses her, and she asks him if he wants to be her boyfriend. He says yes even though he's supposed to be her adoptive brother and laura is ten years old. They discuss their terrible experiences, and Aragorn enters the room. The story ends there, never to be resumed.

The story can be found here, courtesy of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum. TV Tropes will take no responsibility for brain damage suffered should you choose to read it.note  The dramatic readings may help to soften the blow. There is also a review done by The FanFiction Critic for it, which might help more. And now a live-action trailer, complete with My Chemical Romance and a baffling shoutout to MegaTokyo. God help us all. There's also a riffing found here and a PPC mission here. Finally, a short film combined with dramatic reading can be watched here.

Compare with My Immortal and My Inner Life.


This fanfic provides examples of:


LeftFanWorks/Tolkien's LegendariumLothÝriel

alternative title(s): Legolas By Laura
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