Fanfic / Forget The Rails, I Can't Find The Train!

What happens when you put a SI in the body of Aizen Sosuke, the Big Bad king of keikaku of bleach, just as his fake body's found by his lieutenant? Lots of Chaos, Misunderstanding and Awesomeness! (Major spoiler alert)

Forget The Rails I Can't Find The Train can be found here or here.

This Fanfiction contains examples of:

• Accidental Truth: Despite the many things the SI ends up being wrong about, he still ends up somehow correctly guessing the main reason Yhwach suddenly showed up in soul society 400+ chapters early; Yhwach had seen a future which caused him to temporarily lose his mind and proceed to go on a rampage. This later on ends up being one of the main catalysts behind the world-changing event.
• The Ace: Aizen Sosuke in canon is The Ace barely having any equal among the shinigami at the start of the series, barring Yamamoto and the Zero Squad. The SI, on the other hand, surprisingly doesn't avert this given he can use Aizen's body, skills, and power with surprising competence.
• Alternate Universe: The SI accidentally ends up retconning Hueco Mundo thanks to the Hogyoku, Gremmy's Visionary power and his own brand of idiocy.
• Armor-Piercing Question: The Entire trial against Kisuke is filled with this.
• Awesome, but Impractical:
  • High level kido are this, with their long incantations basically asking the enemy to attack them during it, The SI however manages to avert this by having Aizen who has currently replaced his Zanpakuto silently chant the rest while he himself simply finished it, making it seem like he'd forgo'd the incantation entirely. The others, thankfully, act accordingly to such a demonstration.
  • Some bankais are an example of this, either they have specific conditions to use their full power or are simply too impractical to use, the biggest example would be Yamamoto's Bankai which so powerful he cant use it in soul society for too long lest he risk destroying it.
• Batman Gambit: Many character think Aizen is doing this, From Kisuke to Gin, to even Tousen, each with their own ideas on what he's planning... Entirely unaware the SI has replaced the big bad and is basically winging it with a series of coincidences and lies that has only managed to prove each one of his false claims.
• Bad Future: The SI claims he came from this, it's even Technically True considering in Canon soul society and the entire human world almost get destroyed because of Ywhach
• Blatant Lies: No, Gin is not trying kill 'Aizen' using shinso without warning, he just so happened to target Gremmy who was hiding in the room. Even 'Aizen' can see how blatant the lie is considering the attack would've hit him if he didn't dodge.
• Boring, but Practical: 'Aizen's' most deadly weapons involve his ability to trash talk his opponent into letting their guard down/turn impulsive, use illusions, speed blitz said enemy with shunpo the moment they let their guard down, proceed to stab them where it hurts, physically and mentally, and than immediately finish them off at the first opportunity. Sound's boring, especially with all super powered abilities in Bleach, but it works wonderfully.
• Broken Ace: Byakuya considers 'Aizen' this, mostly due to some of the stories he'd heard. Their enemy steals their bankai than puppets their corpse being one of the few bad things that he had to face. Further shown with the way 'Aizen' keeps foreshadowing the massive casualty that will happen, and that 'Aizen's' joking attitude is his way of coping due to him having lost his sanity after everything he went through.
• Cassandra Truth: 'Aizen's' claim from the future is disbelieved by the other characters due to how improbable it is, but after he keeps telling it even when he cant lie, after Gremmy, Yhwach, and Josh Groban show up just as he 'predicted', people start believing him.
• Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: 'Aizen' acts like this with many people seeing it as a side effect of the Bad Future.
• Combat Pragmatist: The SI uses insults and jokes to distract his enemy, attacks them when they try to return the favour and even, at some point, threw his own sword at the enemy. All in the name of practicality.
• Curb-Stomp Battle: His 'fight' with Josh Groban's copy is this, the SI doesnt even give Josh a chance to speak, let alone really attack before destroying him.
• Contrived Coincidence: Many coincidences and misunderstandings end up working in 'Aizen's' favor, it happens in such a logical way that it doesn't even end up breaking the Willing Suspension of Disbelief
• Dramatic Irony: Every one sees 'Aizen' as The Chessmaster of epic proportions that planned everything so the situation ends in his favor, Unaware that 'Aizen' is an SI who has just about winged everything with a dose of bullshit and improvisation and gotten lucky at every turn. Though to be fair, from their point of view 'Aizens' utter immediate defeat of Josh Groban and his driving off Yhwach makes it hard to believe it wasn't planned beforehand.
• Deadpan Snarker : 'Aizen' is this from the point of view of other characters, his crowning moment is right after Yhwach gives him a death threat:
  Yhwach: "Damn you... Damn you..! This isn't over... You hear me!? Aizen Sosuke! I, if it is the very last damned thing I do, WILL KILL YOU!"...
  Aizen: "Yes... Well, best of luck," a deadpan look on his face. ...
  
• The Dreaded: 'Aizen' quickly gains this reputation, were before he was only known as a Badass Bookworm among the Captains, within a few hours he winds up making Gremmy run away in fear, Haschwalt have a panic attack, and causes Yhwach to practically lose his mind and go on a rampage. Not to mention he delivers a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown to Josh Groban'copy. Yamamoto outright states that currently 'Aizen' is one of the strongest and most important captains among the Gotei 13.
• Despair Event Horizon: Byakuya crosses this after everything he believed in came crashing down around him. The laws he upholds basically stop mattering in the current matter, the least cause been the goverment's death, which leads him to come to the realisation that he almost killed his own sister-in-law for nothing. And if that wasn't bad enough, he even ends up losing contact with his own Zanpakuto spirit. The worst part likely been that he cant even hate 'Aizen' because as far as he knows without 'Aizen', soul society would be in far worse shape then it currently is.
• Exact Words: The SI takes advantage of this in the trial, telling everyone he did not in fact steal the Hogyoku(himself), reveals Kisuke's 'hiding' of said Hogyoku in Kuchiki Rukia and even uses the honest aspect to 'foreshadow' the Bad Future regarding Vandenreich and the stolen bankais.
• From Bad to Worse: First Gremmy shows up and drops a meteor on soul society, than Yhwach shows up and tries to take over two main cast members and attempts to assassinate a captain followed on by Josh Groban which is, in reality a retconned Starrk, who proceeds to try and wreak havoc across all of soul society. All in the span of 24 hours. As Yamamoto puts it,
  Yamamoto: Every worst fear imaginable had shown it's face to him today...
  
• Genre Savvy : Hitsugaya doesn't even bother trying to fight Josh Groban directly, correctly deducing how utterly outclassed he is and simply makes an attempt to support 'Aizen' with kido without getting in his way. Shame 'Aizen's' defeat of Josh ends too quickly, without him barely doing anything but acting as an indirect distraction and lending 'Aizen' his sword.
• Mood Whiplash: 'Aizen's' joking attitude makes people really annoyed at him, at least until he says something serious causing people to turn deadly serious with one sentence. First shown when he mentions that Orihime should give Shunsui who lost his hand a 'hand job'. Naturally, no one take's that well, and of course later on when he idly mentions that the Quincies are camping and spying on the shinigami in their own 'backyard'.
• My God, What Have I Done?: Byakuya has to deal with the knowledge that he almost killed his own sister for absolutely nothing. All because of his zealous upholding of the law at all costs.
• Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: 'Aizen' really messes up when he accidentally retcons the entirety of Hueco Mundo, directly causing the Took a Level in Badass trope on EVERY Espada, worst, the retcon specifically puts them as his enemy. In Ulquiorra's case, it's taken even further as it's more of a Empowered Badass Normal situation. Once again however, it's entirely the SI's fault. Favouritism is a hell of a problem when it comes to SI's retconning the universe. Even more so when it's an accident.
• No-Nonsense Nemesis:
  • The SI is this despite his joking attitude, he will talk nonsense in the middle of a battle to distract is enemy, will say anything that needs to be said, won't bother to explain his abilities and will immediately go for the kill given the chance
  • Yhwach tries to assassinate 'Aizen' from afar using Ishida's body while Gremmy drops a meteor to kill 'Aizen' once he escapes from his sight
• Oh, Crap!: The SI invokes this reaction from Kisuke, Gremmy, Haschwalt and even Yhwach himself! An impressive feat considering one is a Chess Master of epic proportion, a person who can rewrite reality at will, The Stoic who barely reacts when it's the end of the world, and a literal Physical God with a Story-Breaker Power named Almighty. All of whom eventually, barring Kisuke, quickly realise who the real danger between them is, earning Si Aizen three new promises of death in the process.
• Off the Rails: As in the title, Canon goes way, way Off course within the first few hours.
• O.O.C. Is Serious Business: After finding out kisuke had hid the Hogyoku in Rukia's soul, something that would've eventually caused her to lose her shinigami powers entirely, Byakuya declares he will ignore the law just for a chance kill to kisuke. An event that, unfortunately for him, ends up having quite dire consequences.
• Orcus on His Throne: Averted, Yhwach immediately tries to kill 'Aizen' personally once he became a threat to his plan.
• Pet the Dog: 'Aizen' went out of his way to comfort Rukia and even defend her in his own trial, while she'd been brought in to act as a witness against him. This has the effect of him gaining Rukia's trust and overall ends up making it far easier to turn her against Kisuke.
  • He also comforts Momo at the first chance he gets, who had up until then been distraught because of, frankly, everything.
• Refuge in Audacity: The SI's modus operandi, tell an unbelievable exact truth, bullshit, and lie of epic proportions to makes things go his way.
• Skewed Priorities : 'Aizen' completely ignores Kisuke's attempt to escape in favor of cutting off Rukia's handcuffs. Simply put he completely ignores several captains fighting right in front of him to do it.
• Spanner in the Works: 'Si!Aizen' is this to Yhwach and the Vandenreich, his mere existence ruined a plan a thousand years in the making within a few hour of his appearance.
  • He is also this to Ulquiorra's 'future' Canon Sight.
• There Is No Kill Like Overkill: When 'Aizen' escapes Gremmy, what does he do? Summon 'Aizen' just like he did with Rukia? Nope! Gremmy immediately drops a meteor on soul society!
• Talking Is a Free Action: Averted, while 'Aizen' likes to trash talk his opponent, he doesn't stop attacking them to do so, he also wont allow his opponent the same courtesy as he quite literally goes out of his way to interrupt Josh Groban mid-sentence. Every Single Time. He didn't even let him finish his introduction.
• Troll!: 'Aizen' is the troll, he treats everything and i do mean everything as a joke, he is still helpful and quite deadly in combat... Doesn't make him any less annoying to other characters though.
• Wham Episode: The story is just filled with this, as if SI the being dropped in the Big Bad Aizen, mid-defection no less, wasn't bad enough, Gremmy and Yhwach showing up way earlier than in Canon winds up being the tip of the iceberg.
• Wham Line: 'Aizen': Where did you hide the Hogyoku you created Urahara Kisuke?