Fan Fic / A Match Made In Hell
"A Match Made In Hell" is a Kingdom Hearts
fanfiction written by Ri2
, the individual responsible for Latias' Journey
and Brave New World
, about the wacky hijinks during the marriage of Pete and Maleficent
Anyway, the story begins with the Epilogue of Kingdom Hearts II
, with Sora, Kairi, and Riku (who, by the way, have to share their minds and bodies with Roxas, Namine, and Xehanort's Heartless, respectively) getting a letter from King Mickey which asks them to come to his castle to act as a representative of a newly-formed confederation of worlds...
But the letter was a fake. It was a trick to get them to let the world barrier down so Maleficent could blackmail the trio into attending her wedding.
Contains, among other things:
- Mickey Mouse trying to set up an alliance of worlds with Sora's help.
- Pete and Xenahort competing for the right to be Maleficant's groom.
- Back at Destiny Islands, Tidus, Wakka, Chapau, Yuna, Rikku, and Paine fight Yiazmat, alien invaders and a giant robot toilet.
- A ridiculously long Mecha fight with the cast of Final Fantasy VII dressed as Power Rangers.
It's more complicated than described here, believe it or not. Read it here.
Tropes present in this work include:
- The Alliance: King Mickey's plan is to gather together some of the guests at the wedding to organise a coalition of heroes to oppose Maleficent. Unfortunately, it falls apart because Simba is too suspicious of humans to participate, Leon is in the middle of a Heroic B.S.O.D. over his inability to defend his world, Zeus is more interested in having sex with Anything That Moves and Oberon refuses to join unless Mickey hands over every fairy in the universe to him. And then goes nuts and stuff.
- Amazon Chaser: Shere Khan sees Tifa run through her Limit Break and gets aroused. Later he explains in detail how attractive a woman of her fighting caliber is to someone like him.
- Anything That Moves: Zeus. He's trying to outdo Satan.
"Heh, I like that. The return of Roxas, last of the dread Organization XIII! Er, next to Zexion, that is. May the universe tremble before me as I shatter worlds and take all the hot babes and guys to my bed! Bwahahahahaha!... What? I was joking! Sorta."
- Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever: In this case it's gigantic harmless bad guys, gigantic animal sidekicks and a gigantic Darkwing Duck.
- Aww, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: For Pete and Maleficent. Most notably when it's revealed Maleficent used magic on the wedding ring she gave Pete to make it so he wouldn't be harmed by any spell meant to kill him. Even though she also put a spell on it that made it so if she died, he would die, Pete is immensely touched by this. There was also when Maleficent's world was being rebuilt, Pete was able to guilt trip her into adding a memorial for all the good guys and bad guys that died when Oberon crashed the wedding.
- Big Good: King Mickey is pulling together an alliance of good guys to oppose Maleficent and even when that fails he is still deferred to by the Destiny Island trio. It turns out that there is a trio of Keyblade Masters of far greater power and standing, but they have restrictions on when they can take direct action.
- Big Bad: Oberon is the main threat to the heroes in the story, but Satan is revealed to have been The Man Behind the Man responsible for the madness that turned Oberon evil in the first place.
- Break the Haughty: Uncle Scrooge does it to Flintheart Glomgold.
- Cat Fight: Maleficent and Peg have a tussle at the Bachelorette Party, due to Peg being Pete's ex.
- Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Xion, but's she's canonically accounted for, anyway... Although this is forgivable because the character didn't exist when the story began....Er...didn't not exist. Or is it didn't not un-exist? Sheesh, it's so hard to get the grammar right when talking about nobodies.
- Came Back Wrong: Aerith is revived as a half-demon by Satan, though Merlin returns her to (mostly) normal by the end.
- Conflict Killer: Oberon.
- Crack Fic: The (mostly) serious, well written kind, despite what you may think otherwise because it has a lot of plotting, serious moments, and character development mixed in with all the craziness.
- Cloud Cuckoo Lander: In this fic, nothing that Selphie says or does makes any sense at all..
- The Coats Are Off: Shere Khan's removal of his personal items during the fight against the Unseelie. Evey single one of them, down to the tie and watch are ridiculously weighted.
- Deus ex Machina: Aerith is returned to her original self by Merlin rubbing the "666" mark off with spit. Granted, it was "Wizard Spit", but still...
- Dirty Old Man: Flintheart Glomgold and Zeus (technically) are old, horny, and unpleasant.
- Door Stopper: Like most of Ri 2's fanfics, this one is the length of a novel.
- Dying Moment of Awesome: Pete is stabbed through the chest by Oberon and is bleeding out. He still manages to grip his mace, grab hold of Oberon to keep him from moving, and hit him so hard the Cold Iron mace he was using shatters, piercing Oberon with shrapnel and flesh-eating Anti-Fae nanobots made by David Xanatos, who made the weapon in question. Then he dies.
- Enemy Mine: The second half of the story is a huge battle against the minions of Oberon which forces heroes and villains to team up.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Vayne is disturbed enough by what he sees at Pete's bachelor party to switch sides in the epilogue.
- Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: Although he believes he could beat Oberon, Yen Sid willingly gives up all of his power and sends all of his magic and knowledge away to avoid damaging the universe in the battle. Oberon can't understand why he'd give up his power; Yen Sid explains: "As an old friend of mine once said, if you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine."
- Evil Plan: Maleficent wants all her enemies to present at her wedding so she can show off the magic and technology she's going to use when she conquers them. The plot is actually her dad's plan to sow the seeds of keyblade users and start another keyblade war. He brainwashed her into the 'wedding show of force' idea.
- External Retcon: Tons of them, especially towards the end; no one's canon is safe from changes made from the fallout of the wedding.
- Fate Worse Than Death: Oberon is cast into the darkness to be tormented by his insane mother Queen Mab shortly after learning that Avalon was razed and his children either killed or kidnapped by demons from hell.
- Go Look at the Distraction: In one of the epilogues, Phoenix Wright says "Look, over there, it's the Cheshire Cat playing with a rare limited-edition Steel Samurai figurine!" Funnily enough, the cat indeed is. And it works, too.
- Heel–Face Turn: A small number of the villains do this in the end just because of how gross Satan's story about how he consumed and fucked with Oberon was, thinking it definitely wasn't worth being a villain if they were to hang out with him.
- Heroic Sacrifice: Yen Sid gives up all his power and knowledge to prevent Oberon from getting it or damaging the universe in a battle with him. This leaves him helpless before a very mad fae lord.
- Holy Hand Grenade: Oberon uses a holy item to banish Satan and his minions from the scene of the wedding. It doesn't last.
- I Am Not Left-Handed: Satan only needs a quarter of his power to beat Oberon even after the latter consumes almost all of the magic in the galaxy. He even references Dragon Ball Z when he does it.
- I Am Not Weasel: Pete always has to correct everyone that he is a cat. He also has to correct everyone that he is not overweight, he's just big-boned.
- Info Dump: Ri 2 really seems to want to tell us about Hell.
- Interspecies Romance: Pete and Maleficent are the most obvious. Several others are mentioned. The most entertaining is Tifa and the TaleSpin version of Shere Khan. Yes, they really are officially boyfriend and girlfriend by the time of the epilogue.
- Intelligible Unintelligible: Zurg's Hornet robots only have three sentences in their vocabulary, but Zurg seems to understand them.
- Jive Turkey: "Mastah S" lapses into this every so often.
- Kansas City Shuffle: Satan allows Oberon to banish him and his demons to avoid his attack that incapacitates most of the magic-powered wedding guests and to trick Oberon into thinking he's not a threat, so he can send his minions to Avalon and cart all of Oberon's children off to Hell.
- Kneel Before Zod: Oberon demanded King Authur to kneel before him, or he'd kill everyone. All it did was make Authur even more awesome.
- Loads and Loads of Characters: Kingdom Hearts Canon merges the cast of many stories. This one merges far more.
- Limit Break: Several towards the end, in combination-attack form. There's Sora, Roxas, Sora and Roxas and Tifa's special attacks, for instance.
- Married to the Job: In this fic, Cloud is hopelessly isolated from his friends thanks to his obsession with hunting down Sephiroth. It's even worse for him in his epilogue because Tifa acquires a new boyfriend (the TaleSpin version of Shere Khan) who is not only just as good as Cloud at organising the team at Radiant Garden to defend their world, but is actually there when he's needed.
- Mega Crossover: Almost everything is crossed over here, but it still holds together.
- Morally Ambiguous Doctorate: Judge Doom reveals that he never actually graduated from law school. What a shocker.
- Mythology Gag: All over the place, naturally. However, there is a notable instance, namely Aerith's death, where this gets Played for Drama.
- Nobody Thinks It Will Work: Everyone thinks this about Pete and Maleficent except Mastah S, whether it be Maleficent's villainous admirers or all the other characters who are just disturbed.
- No Cure for Evil: Subverted with Yiazmat, who heals himself after the Gullwings use their strongest Dresspheres against him.
- No-Sell: King Leo can block any attack with his energy shield. Then his fusion with Mushuzilla, King Dragon, takes this Up to Eleven.
- Official Couple: The following is a list of all the romantically linked characters, starting with Pete/Maleficent because their wedding is the framework of the entire fic. Shere Khan/Tifa, Vayne/Ashe, Montlbanc/Shara, as well as most of the standard Disney couples like Mickey/Minnie, Aladdin/Jasmine, etc. Sora/Riku/Kairi/Roxas/Namine, of course.
- Offscreen Moment of Awesome: Jack Sparrow vs. Yuffie is set up as a Shout-Out to the ninjas vs. pirates meme, but we don't actually get to see the fight. Since the story is so huge, some details not relating to the main story feel as though they could form the basis of entire fanfics on their own, such as the events that brought the Gargoyles and Toy Story characters to the wedding.
- Pet the Dog: Maleficent toward Nosimono. She is not a happy camper when he is hurt by Oberon ripping his arm off.
- Plotline Death: Zig-Zagged, When Aerith dies, they state that they can't revive her because Sephiroth killed her with the Masamune. Satan revives her anyway, but the catch is that she comes back as a demon rather than a human.
- Psycho for Hire: Sephiroth, who Oberon hires to crash the wedding. According to the author's notes he was meant to be the main villain before Ri 2 had the idea to use Oberon instead.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Roxas taking over Sora's body to call out Leon for his Wangst.
- Sequel Hook: In the final epilogue Satan reveals that the events of the story were part of a massive, long-term plan designed to create an army of Keyblade masters that he can control.
- Shout-Out: There are as many of these as there are characters.
- Sadistic Choice: In the fight against the Unseelie, PJ had to choose between Max (best friend) or Peg and Pistol (family), who were about to be killed by them. He was knocked down before he could make up his mind. Luckily, Pete and Goofy (at separate times) come in to the rescue.
- Teens Are Monsters: Played straight with Pete's daughter Pistol and Yuffie, who share an interest in mayhem and larceny. However, they're later faced with the fact that they are indirectly responsible for Aerith's death.
- The Unreveal: We were about to find out how Pete and Mickey became from what they were in "Steamboat Willie" to their present positions, but it was interrupted by Maleficent entering the chapel.
- Transformation Is a Free Action: Lampshaded and mocked during King Leo and Mushuzilla's fusion dance, with everyone not involved wondering why they can't do anything but watch.
- Wangst: In-universe, Leon wallows in self-pity and despair, and frequently gets called out on it by everyone else.
- Weakness Turns Her On: This is the reason Mastah S gives for Maleficent finding Pete a suitable husband.
"Now, my dawg Pete here, she likes him more than I think she's liked any man… BUT…he is kind of a wuss. Then again, she seems to like that in a man, for some reason. She likes feeling superior to 'em…and that's easier to do with a lackey than an equal."
- "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue: One that extends through three ridiculously long chapters, ranging from funny to melancholy, but covers just about every character.
- Worthy Opponent: Gilgamesh wants to fight Sora to claim his keyblade (he already has several keyblades, but he wants the original one for his collection).