Darth Wiki: Tame Maverick Exposition
aka: Wild Mass Guessing
Wild Mass Guessing
is a fun and popular portion of TV Tropes Wiki
, and we just can't let that slide. This page is for one person to bombast the community by restating show canon and acting like it is somehow worthwhile for everyone to read it.
There will be unmarked spoilers ahead.
- Outside of Doctor Who, no one is a Time Lord. Even characters with Time Lord-like powers do not belong to that specific race, unless specifically stated.
- Haruhi Suzumiya is responsible for absolutely nothing outside of her own 'verse.
- Nothing is All Just a Dream. (Unless of course it is).
- There are no Neon Genesis Evangelion spinoffs.
- Only official AU spinoffs. Oh, and crossovers. You're very welcome.
- Star Wars has an official policy that the most recent edition of a given film has highest priority in canon. According to that, Greedo shot first. You are free to ignore this policy. Keep in mind that doing so still does not mean "Han Shot First", since that would imply Greedo got a shot off, which did not happen in the original version at all.
- Nobody is Jesus. Except for Jesus. Even Jesus analogues are not him.
- Garfield is still alive.
- Batman and Calvin are not furries.
- And while we're on the subject, Hobbes is not, nor will he ever will be, Tyler Durden.
- The Master and the Master are not the same Master. Sorry.
- However, The Master is also not either of them. You're welcome.
- Altair killed no one outside of the world of Assasin's Creed. Especially characters in other works.
- Actors who appear in multiple, non-connected works, are playing different, non-connected characters unless explicitly said otherwise.
- Supernatural, Doctor Who, Pushing Daisies and Heroes do not take place in the same universe, sadly.
- Snape Kills Dumbledore.
- Smurfette and Sasette were created by Gargamel. Smurfs are asexual creatures. The way Smurfs reproduce is that a stork brings a baby Smurf once every blue moon. The Smurflings were adult smurfs who messed with the Sands Of Time and got turned into children. Vanity is not gay, just overly flamboyant. Peyo said it so DON'T ARGUE.
- Replicants are androids. Get over it. Whether or not Deckard is a Replicant doesn't matter.
- Most Epileptic Trees theories just aren't true.
- What Marche did in Final Fantasy Tactics Advance was for a just cause. He was kind of a jerk about it, but any claims of villainy are an Alternate Character Interpretation at best.
- Ferris Bueller was a bit of a snot, but he had an excused absence. Regardless of any other hi-jinx, Principal Rooney had no justification for leaving the school of which he is the head in order to "catch" a student who had been knowingly excused by his parents, nor legal standing to do anything if he had succeeded in doing so. Harming the Beuller's dog and breaking into the Ferris household on an unreasonably personal vendetta make him the villain of the story.
- No One is possessing Mr. Mew, Shiki just used a Psychokinesis-type pin (Groove Pawn) to control Mr Mew.
- But, Shiki tells Neku that Mr. Mew does his own thing, so she isn't controlling him. Which means Mr. Mew is either possessed or the Groove Pawn pin also gives the animated object an A.I.
- Edward Cullen's Bishie Sparkle does not come from sweating. It comes from sparkling.
- It comes from being on the verge of spontaneous combustion because he's under the fucking sun. Get a hat or something, god damn.
- Star Trek: Enterprise takes place in the same universe as the other Star Trek series. It is not set in an alternate timeline whatsoever, nor is it a holodeck recreation (except for the final episode). The only reason we have continuity glitches is because the writers made mistakes.
- Robin Williams is a completely human comedian/actor with no special universe-controlling powers.
- TV Tropes is not part of a conspiracy to control us all. That pot holing is Just for Fun.
- And it is most definitely not using subliminal messaging to control the world's leaders. Oh, and it has nothing to do with that ninja. No siree, nothing.
- Marsellus Wallace finds intercourse with anyone except Mrs Wallace to be extremely distasteful.
- Annie and Kat are just close friends. Preteen girls are just big on saccharine affection.
- The same can be said for the main cast of Azumanga Daioh, save Kaorin, and even that's one-sided. They're all just friends. Especially Yomi and Tomo.
- Candle Jack is a cartoon character from Freakazoid!, and you will not get kidnapped by just saying his name in Real Life or by typing his name. See I'm still here, he hasn't ki Yoink!! And to think that he was a Fast Typer too.
- He does, however, need more rope, but that fact is purely coincidental.
- Candle Jack. See? You don't need to be afraid anymo You'd think that they'd learn after that last guy...
- Candle Jack. There. Deal with i Edit Wars truly are disturbing things. Sure you want to try editing this out, Candle Jack?
- Candle Jack, Candle Jack, he can't catch me!
- Lelouch is dead. Simple as that. And the creators love trolling about it.
- Outside of a Shared Universe fictional characters will seldom if ever cross from one work of fiction to another, particularly not in disguise. Nor will their children. Exceptions are made for certain public domain characters who show up everywhere, but that's a completely different story.
- Calvin is not a Mage, Vampire, Changeling, or anything else from The World of Darkness.
- And he isn't a a Genius either.
- Also Calvin Ball HAS NO RULES, save the ones explicitly stated in the comic: You can't play it the same way twice, and don't question the masks.
- Whatever Tzeentch's plan is, he's not going to be telling us any time soon.
- Unless a scene is explicitly stated to be one character's description of events, it can be taken as showing what "really" happened and is not the work of an Unreliable Narrator.
- That episode you don't like really exists. Even if subsequent works don't follow off of their story, the works themselves don't magically get decreated. However, it is just fiction, so you are free to ignore it without getting all snitty about it. All of it is just a show, you should really just relax.
- House of Leaves is metafiction and is deliberately difficult to understand. Any meaning you find is one that you apply to it. There is no answer.
- The writers of Family Guy are not trying to get the show cancelled.
- Nobody outside of the Death Note 'verse has a death note, or at least a functional one.
- Kisuke Urahara and Gin Ichimaru were never known as anything else. The souls of both L and Light Yagami belong to oblivion.
- Star Trek is set on a spaceship.
- With the exception of the 2009 movie, all Star Trek series are set in the same continuity.
- Dungeons & Dragons was not set in Hell. The Dungeon Master was not Satan. They didn't die in the roller coaster accident, and were in fact given the opportunity to go home in the unaired Grand Finale.
- Spike is dead. If the creator decides to make a sequel, he may un-die, but that would be a Retcon.
- Squirrel Girl is just an attempt to mock people who take comics seriously. However, everything she did do is canon.
- You lost The Game.
- But only if you were playing it at the time, it is perfectly possible to stop playing or to never begin playing in the first place.
- Sir James Paul Mccartney, born 18 June 1942, is alive and well.
- He is also completely human, and is not a robot, clone, or walrus.
- Chuck Norris is a 70-year-old actor who is in great shape for a man his age. That's all.
- Nor did he ever achieve during his career the same physique, speed or power as Bruce Lee.
- On a related note, Bruce Lee died in 1973 due to a hyper-adverse reaction to headache medication, as well as overtraining. Despite the beliefs of a tribe Malaysia, he is not a god.
- Popeye and Bluto are two heterosexual males fighting over the affections of Olive Oyl, a mutual acquaintance.
- Barack Hussein Obama is a human being, born 4 August 1961 in Honolulu, Hawaii- one of the 50 states of the U.S.A.- to a Kenyan man and an American woman. He is a lifelong Christian, though muted in his faith, and has never sworn by the tenets of Islam, Judaism, any atheist philosophy, Jedi Knighthood, or any color of Lantern Corps. It is ridiculously likely he is not directly associated with Jesus, Nyarlathotep, Hitler, or Satan.
- He was joking when he said he was from Krypton. Kryptonians are not considered natural-born U.S. citizens, which precludes one from becoming president, and are in fact, not even real.
- You are a person of various strengths and weaknesses, just like everyone else. Your satisfaction in life comes primarily from how well you acknowledge and exploit these attributes, though there will always be aspects out of your control, and that's okay.
- Waylon Smithers is Mr. Burns's assistant. He's in his early forties, is unmarried, and currently resides in Springfield.
- Elvis Presley is dead. He died on August 16, 1977. He did not fake his death. His middle name is spelled "Aaron", with two A's, because he spelled it that way in the latter part of his life. It's spelled that way on his grave marker because he's under it. He was not an alien who "just went home". Other musicians composed; he decomposed. He's frickin' DEAD.
- The writer of My Immortal simply had a really weird sense of humor, was not good at writing, and was one of those people who whines if not everyone likes the same things as her.
- Organization XIII, despite being somewhat sympathetic, were not really good guys. This should have been evident when they were trying to mass murder entire planets to regain their souls, but was mitigated by their bishi factor.
- The Dark Side is actually evil, and people who turn to it will also turn evil...unless your name is Darth Revan, Kyle Katarn or Galen Marek.
- Slendy does not want twenty dollars. Who needs green when you've got blue and orange?
- Also, Aerith is still dead.
- Adding to that, it's romanized as Aerith. It might not be the most comfortable pronunciation, but it's still the translation that gets the most accurate meaning across (Earth).
- Bert and Ernie are two good friends who happen to share an apartment, presumably so that neither has to pay too much rent. Also, Batman and Robin, particularly in the 1960's TV show, are partners in crime fighting, and a father and adopted son in their civilian identities. Also, Larry and Balki... you get the idea.
- Unless two characters of the same sex are explicitly shown as being in a homosexual relationship or having sex with each other, it's safe to say that they are not doing so unless the author states otherwise. The same can be said of heterosexual relationships.
- All humans will, without exception, eventually die.
- Marcellus Wallace's briefcase does not contain souls, a nuclear bomb, all the evils of the world, or anything otherworldly or incredible. It's just a briefcase with a MacGuffin.
- Drawcia did not make a Deal with the Devil involving Dark Matter and/or 0, not even in the Japanese version. Dark Nebula is related to Dark Matter, but is a seperate being from 0 despite the similar Japanese name.
- Ciel and Sebastian aren't gay.
- Neither are Axel and Roxas. Also Axel is not a desperate whore and has not had sex with ANYBODY.
- Pinkie Pie is not a mentally unbalanced and unstable pony who bakes her friends into cupcakes.
- Ghetsis never raped or sexually abused N.
- The Striaton Trio are not the Shadow Triad.
- This is in fact a Zaku, pal! A ZAKU!!!!!
- Bowser and Peach are not having an affair behind Mario's back. This also means Peach is not the mother of Bowser Jr. or any of the Koopalings.
- DIE MONSTER! YOU DON'T BELONG IN THIS WORLD!