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Kilian
The star of the channel. He "reviews" and "recaps" a number of different video games, in the same way that The Onion and Babylon Bee "report" the news. Naturally, most of his reviews are filled with deliberate factual misinformation and are more comedy routine than proper review.
- The Ageless: Kilian claims to be this after beating Death in a game of karaoke. It's his explanation as to is why he makes so many historical references; he doesn't keep track of what's relevant. It may or may not have some kind of connection to the whole "is a red panda" thing.
- Animal Motifs: Pictures of red pandas are how Kilian usually portrays himself, which gets lampshaded several times.
- Been There, Shaped History: Spoofed in this video
. According to Kilian, he causes the invention of the internet, the collapse of the Soviet Union and the eventual bankruptcy of Rare Entertainment. - Cloudcuckoolander: He fits the bill. He has an irrational hatred of manatees, he associates Christmas with DYSTOPIAN MEGACITIES, and (most visibly) he's prone to making wildly inaccurate readings of the games' lore.
- Mood Whiplash: Anytime that Kilian's actual opinion on something comes up or he seriously answers a viewer question, you can be sure that an off-the-wall joke is sure to follow.
Kilian's player characters
These are the player characters in Kilian's games.
In General
- Alternate Character Interpretation: Applies to pretty much every character mentioned in Kilian's reviews, save for those he made up wholecloth.
- Player Character: Obviously.
Friskies (Dragon Age: Origins)
- Casanova Wannabe: Friskies is very bad at flirting. He attempts to flirt with Morrigan using a pun, only for it to backfire because his pun didn't make much sense.
- Dirty Coward: Rather than sacrifice himself to kill the Archdemon, he pleads Alistar to do it for him.
- Fate Worse than Death: Listening to his rapping is considered this In-Universe. Alistair would rather die then hear it, and Loghain gives up right after hearing it.
- Square Race, Round Class: Despite being a Fighter he puts all his stats into points into leveling up his Cunning, a bit like a Rogue would.
- Who Names Their Kid "Dude"?: He is named after the cat food brand. Kilian points out he has no idea why.
The Inquisitor (Dragon Age: Inquisition)
- Boring, but Practical: Left the winter castle because he didn't want to pay the heating bills.
- No Name Given: While Kilian describes designing his character's physical appearance, he never mentioned the name.
- Really Gets Around: Apparently slept with all the characters, as Kilian made a "guide" for players curious as to who they should date. Said guide is just Kilian describing which body parts the possible love interests show naked when romanced.
- Wizards and Witches: This Inquisitor is a Human Mage.
Godlike Merchant (Pillars of Eternity)
- Greed: This character's dream is to get filthy rich.
- Intrepid Merchant: He's a merchant.
- No Name Given: While Kilian describes designing his character's physical appearance, he never mentioned the name.
- Politically Incorrect Hero: Kilian describes his player character as being "impressively racist", while showing him wearing a KKK hood.
- Superior Species: Kilion picked his race, Godlike, just because of the impressive name.
- Wizards and Witches: In addition to being a merchant, he's also a wizard.
Melvin (Total War: Warhammer)
- Accidental Hero: For the Chaos faction. He accidentally made his way through causing war and strife, without meaning to at all.
- Actual Pacifist: Prior to becoming the new Everchosen, he had only ever managed to defeat a mosquito. During the video Melvin ends up accidentally causing conflict all over the world but never actually fights.
- The Chosen Zero: Literally the only thing that qualified him for the position of Everchosen was the fact that Khorne sarcastically named him such during a fit of anger after Archaon's undignified death. That said...
- Dropped a Bridge on Him: He manages to get victory after victory, and then dies because the bread and garlic farms were gone, leaving him unable to survive without garlic bread.
- Magnetic Hero: Somehow manages to get both skeletons and greenskins to fight for him by being a good talker.
- Not Quite the Right Thing: In-Universe the Chaos Gods are angry with him because he manages to spread chaos, but not their kind of chaos.
- Trademark Favorite Food: Garlic bread. Sadly he ends up dying from a lack of it.
The Pokemon Trainers
In General
- Always Female: Kilian always picks the girls, for various reasons. The one time he tried to pick the boy, the DS exploded.
- Combat Pragmatist: It's extremely rare for them to win a Gym Leader in a fair fight. They're more likely to use extortion, blackmail, threats, fighting the Pokemon themselves or accidental murder.
- Comedic Sociopathy: Their goal seems to be less about becoming Champion and more about causing as much chaos and suffering getting there.
- Not Allowed to Grow Up: They are Pokemon characters, after all.
Spike
"I didn't overtrain for this, everyone else undertrained."A Nice Girl who just wants her parents' approval.
- Abusive Parents: Her mother put her in a moving van and her father openly tells her how she's a disappointment and that he hates her.
- Awesome Mc Cool Name: It's a cool name. For cool people.
- Boring, but Practical: Wins her battles by training her Pokemon instead of the wild plots her succesors pull off.
- Early-Installment Weirdness: She's a far cry from the other trainers and she mostly just wants to do good.
- Noodle Incident: In her only misstep, she enters the Fire Gym and does something "Against the Geneva Conventions".
- Token Good Teammate: Actually fights fair and square and does her best to defeat the bad guys. She even doubts if she's the good guy when she steals from Team Magma.
The Bad
"I have no reason to go into the basement of a casino. Unless, I am finally becoming George Clooney!"A gambling addict with no real plan.
- Anti-Hero: Self-proclaimed, anyway.
- Happy Ending Override: Succumbed to her gambling addiciton off screen by the time Chamunda found Team Rocket.
- Offscreen Moment of Awesome: Had "the most epic Pokemon fight ever" while Kilian was talking about Digimon.
- Out of Focus: Her Pokemon are barely shown and play no major role in solving any problems.
- Parental Neglect: Her mother very obviously wants her out of the house.
- Small Role, Big Impact: Her destruction of Team Rocket will affect Chamunda and indirectly set Wolfgang off on a trail of destruction.
- You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: After she catches MewTwo, she immidiately throws away LukeSkywk1, the Bulbasaur that got her there.
Wine
"Coal! That's the best fossil fuel!"The child of an alcoholic and a maniac who wants to destroy the world.
- Continuity Nod: Averted. Wine is one of the few Pokemon trainers (along with Spike) that are never refrenced in other videos. Presumably, since Wine just wanted to go home, she wrapped up her story in a day and a half and faded into obscurity.
- Extremely Short Timespan: Goes from getting her first Pokemon to saving the world in 31 hours.
- Heroic Neutral: As she frequently points out, she's a 12-year-old who should not be fighting terrorists, but the sheer incompotence of every adult around her force her to save the world.
- The Insomniac: She just wants to sleep, but the plot keeps her moving.
Chamundanote
"The cute dogs bounced away from me! This is the worst feeling in the world..."A trainer who lost sight of her goals in the thirty years she took to get to the top.
- All for Nothing: Chamunda wanted to become Champion so she could fight HrtGold again, but he never shows up.
- Adaptational Personality Change: In canon, Silver is an Arrogant Kung-Fu Guy who hates weakness. HrtGold is a doctor TO Doctors Without Borders who specializes in puppy-kitten care.
- Continuity Nod: Team Rocket was destroyed two years ago by a girl named The Bad. Incidentally, this means Fire Red and Soul Silver take place concurrently.
- Extremely Short Timespan: Inverted, Chamunda's journey takes 30 years.
- Friendly Rivalry: HrtGold is always happy to see Chamunda grow.
- Heroic BSoD: Losing HrtGold's approval makes her cry so much, the Team Rocket leader gives up his plan.
- How We Got Here: The video starts with Chamunda on her way to the Pokemon league and flashes back to points in her journey.
- Not Me This Time: HrtGold sees Chamunda in disguise infiltrating Team Rocket and cuts ties with her over the one thing she didn't do.
- Period Piece: Takes place from 1931 to 1961, not that you could tell.
- "Ray of Hope" Ending: Chamunda sets off to reunite with HrtGold before Kilian cuts the story short to talk about Digimon.
Wolfgang
"Oh, you think I'm scared of you?! Leafeon, Seed Bullets."The daughter of a mob boss who will pay off her medical debt at all costs.
- Character Development: She becomes a proud Eevee trainer after calling them trash.
- Continuity Nod: Wolfgang's father, Don Giovanni, was murdered by a ten-year-old gambling addict.
- Continuity Snarl: However, this event took place in 2010. The Bad was established to be active around the 1950s from Chamunda's story. Although, given that in the Pokemon universe people don't age very often, it's possible that The Bad waited 60 years to carry out her murder.
- Five-Second Foreshadowing: She says she will either clear her debt or die trying. Guess what happens next.
- Foreshadowing: You can spot the Tepig that Detective Dexer will find two years later.
- Healthcare Motivation: Wants to become champion to pay off her medical debts.
- Mistaken Identity: N thinks she's Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. She's Wolfgang Wolfgani.
- Only in It for the Money: Constantly looking for ways to pay off her debt.
- One-Man Army: Takes out 14 trainers on her own with "Seed Bullets".
- Sound-Only Death: Shot offscreen.
- Token Evil Teammate: Easily the most vicious of the trainers. She was so bad that everyone teamed up against her.
- Whole-Plot Reference: Of Amadeus.
Detective Dexer
Portrayed By: Rosa
Rival: OfcWhite2 (Investigation partner)
Specializes in: N/A, plans to fill the Pokedex note
"- [Smoking] takes four minutes off your life."Rival: OfcWhite2 (Investigation partner)
Specializes in: N/A, plans to fill the Pokedex note
"- That's why it's okay. I'm so young, those four minutes are further away."
A LeafBlade Runner who is tasked with solving Wolfgang's murder.
- Cyberpunk: The technological growth in the last two years has led to this.
- Determinator: Acquires all the badges just to interrogate a suspect.
- Genre Shift: Apparently the world turned Cyberpunk in the two years between games.
- Punch-Clock Hero: Her job is to find out who killed Wolfgang. She stops team Plasma only because freezing the world would impede her investigation.
- Reports of My Death Were Greatly Exaggerated: The running gag and main plot point: Wolfgang somehow failed to kill anyone, including the Tepig that would kill her.
- Sequel: To mirror the fact that White 2 is a sequel to White, Dexer's story is a direct continuation of Wolfgang's life (and death.)
Amelie Bateman
"There is an idea of an Amelie Bateman. But there is no real me. Only a player avatar."A Kalosian Psycho on the loose.
- Bait-and-Switch: Kilian names her Amelie after, well, Amélie. However, a stray comment from her mom about looking in the mirror turns her into Amelie Bateman. Then subverted at the end, as Amelie managed to spread positivity all along, and thus was truly the Amelie she was meant to be.
- Darker and Edgier: If you thought Wolfgang was bad, at least she had her reasons. Amelie murders every gym leader with axes, chainsaws, knives and guns for no good reason.
- Player Character: She is the only trainer to be self aware of their role. Perhaps that is why she is so callous with life.
- Psycho Party Member: By self-admission. She won't even use her Pokemon to commit her murders, like the others. She gets physical.
- Theme Naming: Her Pokemon are all named after singers featured in American Psycho.
- Whole-Plot Reference: Of American Psycho.
Other notable characters
These are other important characters in Kilian's games.
Duke Stephen of Some Place
- The Ace: Manages to regularly defeat invasions from Kilian's Cornwallian Empire, despite only ruling one small island.
- Idiot Ball: He accepts the offer of being vassal, meaning Kilian can just imprison him now.
- Inexplicably Awesome: How is he able to befriend his assassins over a simple conversation, make Kilian's chancellor defect (And have a gay marriage with him) and live for more 400 years? Not even Kilian knows.
Grongo!
- The Ace: He was able to put Kilian's theme parks into tip-top shape before Kilian himself could notice, and thoroughly stomped the Spinosaurus.
- But Now I Must Go: His episode ends with him leaving the park. Kilian claims he went on to become a small-town sheriff in Texas.
- Leitmotif: GRONGOOOOOOOOOOO!
- My Species Doth Protest Too Much: Despite being a dinosaur himself, he foils Kilian's plan to annihilate humanity with a dinosaur army.
Ebenezer Gen Rogue
- All for Nothing: Ebenezer was going to pay for Tiny Tim's cancer treatments, despite the ghost of Christmas present pointing out that Britain has universal healthcare. The Ghost of Christmas Future tells Ebenezer that Tiny Tim died anyway.
- All Just a Dream: Ebenezer only hallucinated the ghosts, because he took a chance on a gas repair company with a bad reputation."Yes, it was all a gas leak!"
- Face–Heel Turn: His whole character arc is learning to be greedy.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Part of what turns him greedy is seeing how his attempts to help others fail or backfire:
- He encouraged his students to believe in themselves, and as a result they set their ambitions too high. When they failed, they turned to drug addiction in despair.
- The Cratchits have to microwave frozen pizzas because Ebenezer insisted Bob take the day off, despite Bob being Jewish and therefore not celebrating Christmas.
